Category: Always!

Sarcasim and Sarcasum

Cool story bro.

Some miners are into pegging.

I don’t judge.

Ok…

It’s about the hypocsy.

Highsec miners are weirdos, irl.

Antigankers are especially dumb.

Gankers are always on system.

Yes, he’s lonely and bad at EvE Online.

If you are a fury, Safety is the place for you.

Every miner needs a Safety helmet.

If you are feebleminded, you may enjoy mining.

Consider yourself manifested to text.

What a guy.

To be continued…

Seek Help

Listening to: All the Things

If you are planning to kill yourself, dial 911 (999, 110, or 112).

If you are thinking about suicide, dial 1-800-273-8255.

If your suicidal thoughts involve isk or PLEX, dial 1-800-BETS-OFF.

If you are threatening to kill another gamer, call 1-800-799-7233.

In some cases, people may react with unhealthy behaviors in a situation that seems disproportionate. Many people find it challenging to admit they are angry. Contact a therapist today, and learn how to calm down!

If you are encouraging someone to commit suicide, call 1-800-225-5324.

If you are also intoxicated, call 1-800-356-9996.

This is EvE Online, not BDSM Online (unless you allow it).

Bailey 2 Madullier > I must say, this opperation you’re running here is incredibly cringe
TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet > Hit me with more of that sweet zoomer lingo

Apparently, zoomers want everybody dead.

Wo bruh lik ur podzizzle wuz lik mt ite.

We are trying to sell permits, this is not a therapy clinic.

What a typical miner.

Seriously, seek help.

I mean, seriously.

Like, for realz yo.

Just calm down.

Anyways, good chat.

Come on man, don’t do that.

I need to see a therapist myself…

Like wtf…

Ok buddy. *eyeroll*

Oh, there’s more negging?

Cheerzah brav!

Over the Top

Listening to: Bad Little B

=Trigger Warning: This is EvE Online=

Yesterday’s post was over the top.

It’s normal.

Str8taGEM is a real gem.

He wasn’t even raped ganked.

I don’t want to kill myself!

Please don’t make me kill myself.

Ok, let’s look.

Oh, absolute trash…

Not in my Highsedc…

Look, if you are a c-licker, call me.

Boy, he got double podded, and Heydiedled.

Don’t make me kill myself, please!

We are suicide gankers, not suicide miners.

Omg, another one?

See what I have to put up with?

Well, at least I met someone.

…and that’s the news from Highsec.

Mmhmm
Ya
Pop make money
You know I win
I got drive
I don’t need new fame
Paint the town red
Foot to the metal
Called your bluff
Fame ain’t something I need
Money ain’t what I fiend for
I said what I said
Cite the source
I don’t care
I’ll take a whole lot
My happiness is all of your misery
I am so much fun
My love and energy
Can’t talk no shit
I have magical foresight
Give me the chance and I go there
lalala
hahaha

BEHIND THE SCENES

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 8

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Listening to: Make a Move, Let’s Go – Yes Yes

Tee Ka realized that EvE Online is a PvP game.

His new friends were ready to play.

He began spying on the gankers.

When the time came, he vowed to fight stand up.

Bumper Cultural Center soon found Tee Ka in Elonaya.

However, the rebel fled in disgrace.

The next day, I found Tee Ka in Aakari.

It’s a small galaxy.

As always, Tee Ka had a lot to say.

To be continued…

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 49

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

After losing the war, Fly Fearless fled to Uemisaisen.

As always, things were going well.

Yes, there are screenshots.

Kalorned thus began to solo the entire alliance.

Meanwhile, the alliance executor struggled to communicate.

Behind the scenes, Gai was not feeling calm.

This inspired Kalorned & Tweeps to join with a thousand characters.

With a little effort, Mission Ready Mining would finally be ready.

To be continued…

Yria is Syria, Part 1

Listening to: Every Rose Has Its Thorn

=WHY WE FIGHT=

Aiko watchers may remember the Audaerne Free Trade Zone, which evicted Silent Company and exiled them to Ronne.

Ikarus remembers…

All screenshots below from actual SICO interactions!

Silent Company is a pestilence upon Highsec, sucking new players into a mining trap. Newbros are soon bored to death with endless moon mining and scummy buybacks. Who will save them?

As a woman, in real-life and in EvE Online, I’m used to disgustingly inappropriate comments from incel miners. However, Silent Company has always struck me as particularly misogynistic.

Look, here’s the facts….

My boyfriend appreciates all the nice things I do for him, and when you try to shame me, he PLEXes all my accounts and his accounts and his friend’s accounts and even our mom’s accounts.

I’ve read what Silent Company has to say.

Their CEO, Ikarus Cesaille, claims “zero tolerance” for sexism, racism, and all those other isms. However, that’s just narcissistic whitewashing, as he attempts to weasel himself from the consequences of what his members have said and done.

Silent Company keeps it real classy, ya kno?

CCP knows I abide by the EULA.

I even got a GM commendation.

As a capsuleer in good standing, I am allowed to destroy you.

Excuse me, but my bra size is personal and private. I know my pictures are floating around, but you need to calm down.

Imagine, my surprise, when I realized this little group of toxic incels migrated from Ronne to Yria.

Apparently, Ikarus didn’t get the message.

Some things never change.

Oh, you do? You like that?

I think I’ll stick around.

Silent Company, I say to you…

I’ve heard you, I feel you, and I have decided upon a response.

To be continued…

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 47

Listening to: Tunnel Snakes Rule!

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless) was not ready.

Years ago, Kalongned wrote a brief recap.

He wrote this back when I was busy euthanizing CODE.

After fleeing to Uemiseisen, the miners were still not ready.

Fortunately, an elite Assistance Group was deployed.

The AG team loves helping miners get ready!

In particular, they train miners to fight the Tunnel Snake Empire.

My alliance URL honors their experience, with a URL.

I also enjoy cybersex.

AG instructors would bump miners, during simulated Snake attacks.

Mission Ready Mining thus enjoyed a free Platinum training regimen.

This came with easy to understand audio instructions.

Miner bootcamp would continue indefinitely, and could only be terminated via payment of a modest cancellation fee.

Tunnel Snakes bump, gank, and wardec miners in Highsec. They tend to be rude to everyone, and spend much of their time cussing in local. Tunnel Snake sympathizers are also known to use vulgar language.

Meanwhile, local chat was continuously filled with fascinating factoids.

Founded in 2017, Assistance Group is a group of Trainers who are dedicated to defending Highsec. Assistance Group provides the expertise and support Highsec miners need to defend themselves against the Tunnel Snake menace.

The Tunnel Snakes have a number of corporations under their direct/indirect control. More specific intel on Tunnel Snakes and/or their affiliated organizations is only available to Class B or higher Trainers.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR: Individuals with the words ‘Tunnel Snake’ in player biographies, ship names, corporation names, etc. Class B and above Trainers can report Tunnel Snake activity in our invite-only intel channel.

Assistance Group’s hands on approach to training gives Highsec miners the edge they need to rid Highsec the Tunnel Snake menace. This means defeating not only the Tunnel Snakes, but their sympathizers and puppets as well.

Assistance Group Trainers provide our Highsec partners with a variety of exciting training opportunities, including: bumping, ganking, and more. This training prepares our partners for the tactics employed by our shared enemy.

Trainers work alone or in groups, Trainers can be found in icebelts and other areas designated as ‘training grids’, Not all training sessions are announced; many trainers consider any grid they occupy to be a training grid.

By November, the ‘Fly Fearless’ alliance was afraid.

In order to address this, live fire exercises began.

Many many miners were tested, and all were unready.

War was imminent!

As trainers, Kalorned and Tweeps listened to Fly Fearless comms.

This was most instructive.

To be continued…