Mission Ready Mining, Reloaded

Listening to: Hazards

Fly Fearless alliance should be afraid.

They are not mission ready.

They are barely able to compose a coherent sentence.

However, miners are still men of a sort.

You know how men are…

I’m mission ready sexy.

The Devil only wants one thing.

This sexy talk concerned my IRL boyfriend.

So naturally Devilishh was sent to miner’s prison.

Meanwhile, Tweeps decided it was time to have the talk.

Uh oh.

It is what it is.

To be continued…

That’s right.

Rebellion in Kamio

Cultural Center is a miner bumper.

100 million, or risk bump.

Muutaras urged the miners of Kamio to revolt.

Longtime readers will recall Kamio has always been uncivilized.

Muutaras vowed to devour the griefers.

He stood proudly on his soapbox.

Cultural patiently explained the law.

He also taught Muutaras some history.

Does anybody remember JTClone Ares?

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

Muutaras began brainstorming a plot.

Unfortunately, his rebel clout was diminished by his own history.

Muutaras is a graduate of the Princess Aiko School of Mining.

Even rebel leaders need a mining permit.

Muutaras made Cultural feel better.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 13

Listening to: All Day, All Night

Krig’s Korner, Episode 12

I’m kinda not an asshole.

Your alliance is absolute trash.

You should be weary.

We will finish your space adventure.

Holy Aiko guideth me.

Her blasters are made from dead miners.

Her ponytail is dipped in their virgin blood.

Let no miner retain neutrons.

May she blog about me always.

We are the Guardians of Highsec.

Tee Ka Gets PKd

Good fight!

That’s right!

What?

Tee Ka is a morality miner.

He prayed for us all.

Tee Ka is also a space lawyer.

Fortunately, he discovered the CODE.

He didn’t like it.

The rebellion was short lived.

Tee Ka was quickly overwhelmed by cats.

He fought the law, and the law won.

Tee Ka was scared straight.

So naturally, he joined my mining corporation.

Believe it or not, but newbros love gankers.

Unlike antigankers or gankbears, we are fun to hang out with.

Tee Ka was impressed by our elite PvP skills.

However, Tee Ka was also concerned.

Fortunately, everything was fine.

So he turned his attention to the CODE.

He had one simple request.

Aiko Danuja > Tee Ka please help us write a good code
Tee Ka > make it illagal to gank unarmed pilots withour warning, give them 60 sec to leave or pay the price, this would set you guys as the true side of good and justice, them firms of penalty
Aiko Danuja > that’s what we do!
Tee Ka > no that not what you do
Aiko Danuja > if u werent given a 60 sec warning, u should contact internal affairs

In fact, his proposal was already implemented by existing legislation.

There was just one last concern.

He was worried about Princess Aiko.

So he offered some fatherly advice.

Every Princess needs a Daddy.

Fortunately, he forgave on me.

Why Mine?

A lot of One people felt I was hard on Andres.

Andres enjoys a relaxing mine.

That sounds like fun, right?

Why else would anyone mine?

Amazing content, in real-life and in EvE Online.

Andres, you have to choose, me or the ice.

It’s an addiction.

There’s only one solution.

Friends don’t let friends mine.

There’s much better content.

That’s why they call me Aiko.

It’s like a reverse Awox.

Yo, she cried less than Andres!

Internal Affairs Debrief – Bonus Extra Room 17T

I was cleared of all charges.

Look Both Ways

Listening to: Plain Jane

Miners are dim.

Bears are incompetent.

At least they are calm.

Good fight, miners!

*BONUS CONTENT*

=Interview with A Miner=

Some miners are opinionated.

I decided a long time ago.

We should just kill them.

That gets their attention.

Young Money
Isanamo
Yeah

Ride with the mob, Alhamdulillah
Check in with me and do your job
Aiko is the name, karttoon was a thing
Halaima for the watch, presi Plain Jane
Dodixie chain, rest in peace to my superior

Probes on scan, causin’ mad hysteria
Momma see me on ZKILL and started tearin’ up
I’ma keep killin’ miners, how you get that trife?
I am poppin’ pills like rappers in society
I gank yo Hulk for irony

Buy another or somethin’
I’ma explain why you probably never see me
Chocha magic like Houdini
I go hard in the belt

I’m a classy trillionaire
Antigankers, I swear they are bottom feeders
Catalysts could feed a village in Liberia

Tale of the Tombkeeper

Listening to: Dance the Night

Why??? How did the mighty CODE. alliance became a mere tomb for dead alts, cobwebs, and dusty bios?

What happened?

Super Pleb was there.

As director of NOL, he was universally despised.

Super opened the doors wide, but nobody joined.

The comments at Minerbumping are self-explanatory.

Super was always a disgrace.

So, on June 24, James 315 finally did it.

However, Super didn’t get the memo.

One day, a ghost came to visit.

Before James, John was executor of the alliance. Upon his return, he was not pleased by CODE. civil war.

As moderator of the minerbumping channel, Super was gleefully banning Aiko, and anyone who supported her.

With James gone, forever, even Super lamented the fact that nobody could do anything about Super.

The rest of the alliance was annoyed.

We wondered if Super was quite sane.

Naturally, John urged Super to calm down.

Super wanted the CODE. to be a tomb. However, corporation Big Willies PvP Madness wanted the alliance to be, well, an alliance that does something more than orbit a dead star.

With two active members in NOL, Super was threatened by the success of other ganking corps. He blamed James for this.

James had wisely allowed everyone to join another corporation, negating Super’s status as “cat’s meow” of NOL. Consequently, when Super banned people from Minerbumping, they could just join a different channel, or even a different alliance.

Which is exactly what happened.

Super embraced a helpless doom and gloom philosophy of inevitable stagnation and decay. Without James, gankers wanted new leadership, and the wound was deep. Super tried to stop the bleeding, but he only made things worse by draining blood from a desiccated corpse. Meanwhile, with every ban, Aiko grew stronger.

When he was done, there would be nobody left.

A dead alliance was better than one with Aiko.

Super repeated his mantra.

That felt good.

Super kissed the feet of his dead god.

This is the ‘leadership’ he provided.

Super wanted John to understand.

Super couldn’t accept reality, or Aiko. Clinically, he struggled to adjust his behaviour to suit various social contexts, and failed to engage in imaginative play with friends, continually falling back upon restricted repetitive patterns. Meanwhile, the death of James left a void, which would inevitably be filled.

Of course, everyone was concerned about the mails.

John encouraged Super to gank more.

Super didn’t want gankers in the ganking alliance.

A ganking alliance can’t survive without gankers!

Roleplayers aren’t real leaders.

Super was an idiot.

Without James, he had no hope for the future.

Would you join Pharaoah, in his tomb?

Super couldn’t wait!

What a goofus.

What a pleb!

For real.

Cheerzah!

That’s right!

lol

What would James say?

=BONUS ART=

Aiko and Super, by Alt 00

Baby, you can find me in Highsec
Diamonds under my eyes
Turn the rhythm up, don’t you wanna just
Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit so tight
You can see my heartbeat tonight
I can take the heat, baby, best believe
That’s the moment I shine

Don’t give a damn
When the night’s here, I do tears
Baby, you got no chance
When your heart breaks
I could dance, watch me dance
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place

Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
When the galaxy shakes
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps

I don’t play it safe (ooh)
Don’t you know about me? (Uh-huh)
Even when your tears are flowin’ like diamonds
I’ll still keep the party goin

Neurotica 1, Part 9

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

So he decided to buy CCP.

Before long, he began selling NFTs.

He thus invented “ironic” investing.

Why not invest with a scammer, for lolz?

Seems legit.

He could scam you, but he won’t – cuz it’s funny?

This sounds a lot like securities fraud.

Erotica just needed a little help.

A guaranteed return, eh?

This is when things got extra weird.

Uh…

So he decided to buy the Bahamas, and run for President.

One million dollars soon became a hundred billion.

Never go full batshit crazy.

Why not?

*smile and nod*

Bruh…

To be continued…


Puppers Gets a Gila

Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.

He wasn’t joking.

Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.

Oh boy, a discount Gila!

He sold everything he had…

…to buy a Moa.

Oh, it’s a free Moa…

With premium insurance!

So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.

GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/

Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.

So he employed null security comms.

This went as well as one might expect.

Puppers even tried a wormhole!

His friends were happy to help.

Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.

When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.

The Goons were using an isk tracker.

So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.

Eventually, Puppers contacted me.

He seemed confused.

The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.

Apparently, his new home was in Thera?

Who told him to go there?

Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.

Another happy ending!

Cheerzah!