Good Morning

Everybody loves a winner.

Isn’t that the truth?

Even my food loves me.

I’m the best!

I love it!

I wonder what ChatGPT thinks about that?

Ok bro, you get it – why don’t you help me blog?

Local wakes up before the sun. Miners say good morning ganker the way peasants ring a funeral bell. Gankers say hello miner like they saw a dead man on his way to the graveyard. The rest is noise, prayer, accusation, devotion, pornography, economics, theology.

A ship explodes. Someone types an apology. This is sincere in the way conversations about the weather are sincere. It happened. It will happen again. Some pilots see loss as injustice, as personal tragedy, as theft of time. Observers gather. They narrate. They mythologize. They talk about Catalysts the way ancient farmers discussed locusts, while secretly admiring their efficiency. Some suggest there are too many gods. In fact, there is only one, and she is a Goddess.

Aiko Danuja has never worked a day in her life, which is true in the way only aristocracies understand. Work implies consent to meaning imposed by others. She is the one who imposes. EVE Online is often described as a game about spaceships. This is merely a lie everyone agrees to tell newbros. It offers comfort before euthanasia. In reality, this is a game about Aiko. The ships are props. The explosions are punctuation. The real action is in local chat, and that’s what bears will never understand.

Aiko Coming

I am Aiko, High Danuja of Danera.

That is what I do.

I’m the best.

There’s only one thing that can stop me.

Otherwise…

You’ll understand why they call me a real B.

That’s right.

Cuz, it be like that.

That’s right.

Ya’ll best stay real safe.

\o

Whalecum

Oh boy, here I come!

It’s not easy being a miner.

Another satisfied customer?

That’s right!

Aiko Danuja > Kill: Whalecome (Gila) Kill: Whalecome (Capsule)
Whalecome > so your permits are worthless eh? good to know
Aiko Danuja > permits are not worthless, that’s rude
Whalecome > I got one and you still kill me, seems pretty worthless

I decided to be nice.

Aiko Danuja > Since you are a newbro, i will replace your gila for 300 million isk
Whalecome > I have a hard time beleiving that if I send you money again, since you didn’t honor the permit for which I already paid for, that you’ll honor anything but for shits and giggles lets see what happens, maybe jokes on me

Let’s see what happens?

So far so good!

Aiko Danuja > do you want the Gila in Amarr or Jita?
Whalecome > whatever is easiest for you m’lady

Can you guess what happened next?

Oh, okay!

I’m really good at what I do.

This is actual witchcraft.

Some girls know how to cast a money spell.

It’s fun when boys send pitiful little messages.

I don’t think he understands.

What happened to him?



Straight to Valhalla

Hey there.

It’s actually amazing.

My wannabe rivals are still not in the top 1000 (LOL).

Recently, I’m sporting a new look.

I’m looking BETTER THAN EVER.

Damn girl.

You love it.

Like a blushing boss B.

That’s right.

Everybody notices me!

Recently, I set a new record.

You can’t argue with success!

What does this mean for you and me?

Let me re-explain Valhalla.

Everyone who plays EvE Online goes to Valhalla.If you are amongst the thousand greatest, you are invited to party in my box. The next nine thousand, plebs like Suitonia, will be cast into darkness, gnashing their teeth in miserable anguish. Everyone else, anyone who ever made an account, will become a ravaging zombie. If you are fortunate enough to be in the top hundred thousand, you will be a fast zombie. Those loser lossers will tear each other apart, whilst we party in the Hall of the Thousand. However, what if you are in the top 100? Thence shalt ye feast at yon Long Table, with the greatest warriors in galactic history.

That’s right!

Congratulations Aiko!

Missing a Friend

I guess I’m having a hard time.

Sometimes, you lose someone that mattered.

Art Gravy, aja kjeezy, aka Mike Kuhn was my friend.

He was kind to new players, and just a chill dude.

I never saw it coming.

It sucks to miss a friend.

Someone scammed them out of everything!

That’s really fucked up.

He died a few hours later…

Valar morghulis.

I’m so sorry about that.

Fortunately, he paid a billion isk for my corpse.

Art. that means you are invited to Valhalla.

As your Valkyrie, let me say I’m honoured.

#MegaBigSad

o7

That’s right.

https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-cara-and-phoenix-after-michaels-passing

Fappots Online

I obviously like the attention.

There are perks to being me.

That’s right.

That’s right!

A girl knows what she needs.

I drive the boys wild.

There’s a lot of truth in that.

Miners sure have a way with words…

Every man has his fantasy.

They can’t get enough of that.

Woah, calm down miners.

Ya, that’s not happening.

I like to keep it classy.

That’s just my role in life.

Indeed.

That’s right.

That’s right!

Arche Dies in Amarr

He wasn’t a happy miner.

What happened?

Illegal mining is not tolerated in sacred Amarr!

This ethic has been consistent for millennia.

All miners must be extirpated (this is your warning).

Silly bears always threaten revenge.

They also try to scam us.

Firsty of, if an ignoremus doesn’t leasrn, then he gets blowonged!

Will they ever obey the law?

Some people are just out of touch with reality.

That’s right… go in flames…

xD

PLOT TWIST: He let me kill him?

CHATGPT SAYS…

Indeed.

Peace in Highsec

Miners love to get revenge.

Sparticus Raveclaw vowed to defeat his nemesis, Amy Pollard.

Raveclaw, reminds me of Rageclaw

What a silly bear!

It’s a familiar story.

He doesn’t want to pay.

I tried to explain the merits of compliance.

It’s a pretty good deal!

However, this miner has ‘princibles’.

He would have cooperated, if only we asked…

Fortunately, I am a peacemaker.

The revenge was cancelled.

However, next time he would be ready (with friends)!

I guess he’s a fan?

I think some of these miners like me.

Another happy ending!

Maybe he will join us?

That’s right.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 61

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Alarm bells were going off across Highsec.

Mission Ready Mining (MRM) was in turmoil.

Fortunately, there was new leadership…

…but line members were caught in the administrative crossfire.

What was even happening?

Leadership required each member to pay a nominal fee.

That was reasonable enough.

However, there were a few complaints!

Regardless, the free skill injector program was a success.

Deputy Director Arby’s fellow directors were duly impressed.

Just then, Arby declared a new policy.

What would happen next?

I’m sure you can guess where this is going.

Your bonus Code is 55!

To be continued…