Hey.
What’s up.
Some miners are unhappy.
Oh well.
Wutevs.
Draco Down
Month: June 2024
Absolute Matrix
Governor Lee tried to annex Lonetrek (again).
Not on my watch!
The absolute plebs are on my list.
That’s right.
They are bad at mining, ganking, and antiganking.
In EvE Online, miners be crazy.
Get blocked!
Like seriously.
Welcome to the Absolute Matrix.
It’s full of trash.
They are never calm.
In EvE Online, we pick our own fights.
Who will Absolute Order send against me?
I sure hope they figure it out.
FROM DOWNTOWN
Every miner must obey the law.
That’s right.
Good Now
Hey guys, hi.
I’ll be nice.
Oh shut the fuck up.
Never before seen footage, right here.
This is a live re-enactment of a bonus room.
Every loser earns a bonus round.
For legal reasons, everyone gets a guaranteed extra play.
Is this real?
Step right up, and try your luck in EvE Online.
That’s right.
That’s right.
End of an Era, Part 15
Was everything over forever?
One week, mom survived…
The Russians paid 35 billion, for one week of Highsec PvE.
The next spawn was an island in Solitude.
Suddenly, lazy carebears didn’t want to PvE.
They blamed us, and CCP.
The bears didn’t even try.
They wished Hawk would rescue them.
They wanted mom to die.
Highsec miners just want free easy isk.
Island isk wasn’t good enough.
To be continued…
Absolute Pleb
It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.
Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.
Eventually, he found me.
Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.
Crybabies enjoy free speech.
What a guy.
He’s absolutely salty.
This went on for a few days.
Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.
It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.
This is what antigankers do.
That’s appropriate language for a miner.
Let’s see what else he had to say.
PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD
Miners can use all the bad words.
PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.
What a classy guy.
I have a solution for miners like him.
There’s your warning, buddy.
PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.
Welcome to reality, little guy.
That’s right.
Tee Ka’s Big Revenge
That’s right.
That’s right!
Tee Ka is a friendly miner.
He’s been around a while.
His alts like to talk him up.
These stories are unbelievable.
Tee Ka is also prone to emotional outbursts.
This is because he was defeated, again and again.
Along the way, his other alt learned to eject.
This is fine with us.
We’ve given him fair warning.
We’ve tried to help.
There he is, a known neutral.
Recently, Tee Ka leveled up…
He ganked an explorer!!!
Even with carebear mods, ganking is harder than it looks.
As Tee Ka celebrated his great revenge…
…he soon discovered kill rights.
Then we ganked him back (again and again).
Two can play that ganker game!
He’s gradually accepted reality.
Another happy miner.
Good for him!
*****POSTSCRIPT*****
Tee Ka went on to die many more times.
CheerZAH!
Antiganking Saltopia
Oi.
People notice me.
Hey there!
Hihi))
Antiganking miners say whatever they want.
Oh, I love it, thanks for asking.
Only gankers have to follow the EULA.
It’s ok, you can cry all day in EvE Online.
It’s not griefing, when you are salty.
It’s not harassment, if you are a whinebaby.
That’s right.
Cool story bro.
Nobody likes an antiganking miner.
Cheerzah!
Avalanche Down (2x)
Previously, the Avalanche was overpowered…
However, today we made history.
So yah, I logged into EvE Online…
Antigankers were already waiting.
They are kinda dumb.
Today, we are fishing in Uedama.
Hey there.
Great teamwork.
Op success.
Another fake gank.
That’s right.
Later that day…
***RUMORS AND INTEL***
***BEHIND THE SCENES***
***EXTERNAL LINKS***
The Brisc Rubal Home for Hot Unwed Mothers
Cheers!
How to Sell a Mining Permit, RELOADED
Let’s meet a miner.
Every miner has a story.
No miner is innocent.
I guess he got the mail.
Fascinating.
Some miners are confused.
I ask nicely!
What a deal.
Miners sure ask a lot of questions.
I want to help them all.
According to the CODE, I must honor the questions three.
He came really close.
At least he had fun.
He just had one nagging question…
That’s right.
I enjoy EvE Online!
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #245
Listening to: Zoot Suit Riot
Miners love to write.
Wow.
What a guy.
Yikesaroo.
I hope they feel better soon.
Miners are always poor…
…and more than a little dim.
Anyways…
At least they are happy.
I know how to have fun.
You love it, daddy-o.
That’s right!
Tell me more?
Fat Cat Came to Play
Now You Can’t Run Fast Enough
You Best Stay Away
When the Pushers Come to Shove
Throw back a bottle of beer
I have coal black hair