Category: Faith

Slow Boil

I’m a real Highsec escort.

That’s right.

Recently, miner Nigel ran into trouble.

He’s just a 2015 newbro.

So I agreed to assist.

I love to help the little guys.

Apparently, the mining pacifists lost a control tower?

No money? No problem!

Just send me your stuff.

It was his idea!

I’m glad we came to an agreement.

Cheerzah brav!

He just needs to pay.

That’s right.

There was just one problem.

I’ve done this before.

It works well.

I call it the 30 40 70 rule.

It works like a charm.

Later that day…

I change people’s lives!

There’s a life lesson here.

=FOLLOW UP=

Venture Standings – NOVEMBER

It’s that time of year.

We are here to help.

Without further ado, the November rankings…

As we head into December, CASTOLE generously motivates the other contestants, by adding an additional 25 billion isk to the PRIZE FUND. Wow, thank you CASTOLE! Remember, December is the month of kill doubling, so earn your BONUS points fast with that holiday spirit! It’s not too late to bounce back to the highest levels imaginable. This is your chance to become a TOP TIER elite Venture destroyer! Of course, if you can’t gank a Venture yourself, feel free to send isk to those who can!!

That’s right!

That’s right!

How to Sell a Mining Permit #423

First, chat with a miner.

I like to be direct.

He didn’t take the hint.

Mine around and find out!

PLOT TWIST: That’s just my alt.

So the miner contacted a supervisor…

“No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.”

No warning, in my Halaima?

He was informed, but ok…

I keep my Highsec safe.

I value my friends.

I love to help.

This is a good racket.

What a great space job.

That’s right.

Read all about it!

That’s right…

Everything according to plan.

Just another day in EvE Online.

Amazing content.

My ‘friend’ never corrected me.

In fact, the little parrot was scamming me.

Everyone loves a free SRP.

They apparently see it coming.

I play the game my way.

This is not my first time.

It adds up.

It works!

=BONUS ROUND=

I almost forgot.

Nobody likes a delinquent miner.

A few moments later…

Another satisfied customer.

=POSTSCRIPT=

Eventually, Andreska bought a new ship…

It never reached the ice.

xD

=THE END=

In the CODE.

Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?

True story.

Then they get bonus offers.

Another satisfied repeat customer.

He also ordered a new Bowhead.

Of course, there is a delivery fee.

That’s right.

What a happy miner.

Everything was perfectly routine.

He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.

He even bought a mining stamp.

There’s a process?

What a plan.

Didn’t he already pay?

I’ve done it quite a few times.

PLOT TWIST: There is no file.

DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.

Jamie is just a working alt.

Nobody likes a space lawyer.

Another delinquent miner.

Eventually, he found me again.

I guess we can resolve this.

Sometimes, they try to negotiate.

I’m happy to explain.

Pleasure doing business…

Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.

Thanks for playing.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #248

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #247

Nobody can read it all.

An ocean of salt, decades deep.

In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.

Some people are crybabies.

I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.

I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).

By many accounts, I’m the best.

I run a real bad corp.

It’s an intergalactic cartel.

My friends are happy to help.

We go way back.

I’ll see you on the gates.

Cheerzah brav.

Are You Stupid?

I’m the greatest ganker in the game.

Some people call it piracy.

I think it’s just euthanasia.

Fools don’t take me seriously.

Those people are losers.

Look, I simply can’t respect a coward.

Meanwhile, I’m good at what I do.

I can be a real problem for you.

An annoying hassle, one might say.

You won’t like that side of me.

Apologies in advance.

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!

ArchyZavr, Not a Fool

ArchyZavr > fly safe

Rizko spotted him in the morning.

ArchyZavr > Nurds, try it if u can

He had ten thousand PLEX.

Rikzo > ArchyZavr has been here all day trying to get ganked -_-
samy my hero > you just ganna flip it into plex hanger
ArchyZavr > Everyone tells me that you can destroy any ship.Just know that there is a ship in the game that you cannot handle.Until next day 11:PM, I will hang in the gate near Juunigaishi.You can laugh it off as much as you like, but the fact remains that you are not omnipotent.

Nobody wanted the bait.

ArchyZavr > Hahahah. Safety SUCKs
ArchyZavr > ahaha. Noobs
ArchyZavr > I am Immortal Archy,And i never die
ArchyZavr > And safety sucks

Twelve hours later, Archy was still baiting.

ArchyZavr > my ship never die and Safety can’t do anything
ArchyZavr > this ship is too much for safety. I understand.
Razors Vankillsing > have fun then
ArchyZavr > yea, have fun, because safety sucks
ArchyZavr > my ship never die
ArchyZavr > I insulted safety. Will you miss it?)

Are we an good organization or no?

I love new players.

Could I destroy newbro Archy?

Aiko Danuja > I’m doing well if miners openly debate whether or not I am truly ominpotent.
ArchyZavr > )
ArchyZavr > I have already realized that safety will never attack me. Because my ship is invincible. I have never committed suicide or. And if they had committed suicide, there would have been no resentment.
Aiko Danuja > dont do that archy
ArchyZavr > Aiko Danuja I’m not trying anymore.
Aiko Danuja > so you are a weakling
ArchyZavr > OK, let’s do it again: I’m in the Sarekuwa gate to Halaima
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr send me 1 billion isk


I’m really good at this game.

Okada Aivoras > Aiko Danuja always has the best ideas
ArchyZavr > If you give your word that you will try to kill the ship, I will give you 1 B, then, if successful, 10 b.If the attempt fails on first try : you will give me 10 b. All the witnesses.p.s. Yes, you can dump me as soon as I transfer 1 billion. But this will only prove my words about weakness safety
Aiko Danuja > very well, i give my word
ArchyZavr > Take 1B. Even if you cheat, I will not regret it – it will give me a lot of joy to know that safety does not keep their word.

Challenge accepted.

Rafa Quinterro > ArchyZavr ill have a crack at that ship
ArchyZavr > Rafa Quinterro on momentos
Jinx Beirut > its a scam, he wont pay after
Rafa Quinterro > you can put the 10bil collateral to Freighty Boi
ArchyZavr > I can’t transfer 10 billion to him because I don’t know him)
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr you can trust me
ArchyZavr > I do not u 😀
Aiko Danuja > if you cant trust me, then Freighty Boi is a neutral third party
Rafa Quinterro > bro
Aiko Danuja > ArchyZavr if u want to get this done, let’s go
Rafa Quinterro > put the collateral up
Jinx Beirut > its a classic EvE duel
ArchyZavr > Oh, what a fuss I’ll make on the forums if it’s a hoax)

This is how we play EvE Online.

Okada Aivoras > people pay to be ganked now, things are going the right way
Freighty Boi > that is acceptable
Jinx Beirut > this is gonna be a great fight

…but could we actually gank him?

Was it all a trick?

Archy decided to wait at the sun.

He was a bling pinata.

Archy was a changed man.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

Now he wanted his protection modules back.

I’m happy to help.

We did him a real favour.

Cheerzah brav!