Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!

The Miners of Misneden

One rainy day, Alt 00 discovered a miner’s nest.

Oddly enough, these miners felt invincible.

Inspired by the Saviourette, Alt began exterminating them.

However, the miners were suspicious.

Emille Droffer wanted answers.

He considered placing a bounty, but who can kill a ganker?

Could Alt kill Alt?

Emille begged Alt to die.

Would Alt accept the challenge?

Of course.

However, Emille refused to pay.

It was a scam!

To be continued…

A Year of Aiko

Hello, friendos.

It’s been awhile, since James 315 died (in real life).

I remember our last night together, when he observed that the wine tasted rather odd, “With a hint of bitter almonds…”

Meanwhile, the alliance endured a cascade failure.

It was awkward, working with a dead CEO.

Would the community survive, or would we shatter?

Last Christmas, I couldn’t go on, knowing that grade A losers like Super Perforator and Hrothgar were preening themselves with the glory of actual PvP champions. Fortuitously, heroes like loyalanon, Wolf Soprano, Helicity Boson, and Trump the King praised me. I knew what they meant, the time had come to overthrow the old dead God, who left us to rot in the eternal hell of a stagnant alliance.

At long last, I did what had to be done.

The Conference Elite has always supported me.

To be honest, it’s not about James. It never was. The Sheik came long ago, with the blessings of karttoon and the VCBees. Hulkageddon was proclaimed, always! Such wisdom was known to James, and he never claimed otherwise. I’m sure he would understand, and agree, with everything I’ve done.

The CODE. alliance was created by miners, to sell barges and blasters.

Fucking yikes (nine years later).

Super Perforator, the trader, scammed the New Order. When I arrived, there were no Catalysts or modules in the hangars of New Order Logistics. There was nothing but cobwebs, and dusty memories.

James did not create the alliance, nor did he lead the alliance. He watched with dismay, as various pretenders flailed about aimlessly, treating the executorship like a trophy. Shenanigans ensued. Fortunately, John E Normus set things straight, transforming a PvRock roleplay alliance into a genuine PvP freight train. Alas, after loyalanon was banned, the alliance never recovered. In desperation, Kalorned gave James control of the alliance, but James wanted nothing to do with a dead alliance. So he summoned me, in 2018, trusting that an elven vampire Princess would know what to do.

Inspired by Sun Tzu and Thomas Jefferson, James believed that a Code should evolve, and worried that roleplaying gankbears would mindlessly enforce the law. What could be worse, than a bunch of sycophants praising ad nauseum — without undocking? James recognized the need for change, but there was one problem.

James died quite suddenly (and deliberately), because a dead libertarian wants nothing to do with a dead alliance. He had no desire to tell others what to do. They could stay, create a new alliance, whatever. Dead men don’t concern themselves with such matters. Whoever leads, they are the leader.  Of course, James had faith, in a lucky lady.

Some people have been hard on James, arguing that he failed to show leadership. He wouldn’t get in comms, accept conversation requests, engage in discussion, or do anything at all. However, that is not his fault. A dead man simply can’t.

Fortunately, we’ve got a better alliance — stronger and more active.

We can do anything we want.

Bee well.

Second Day of Christmas

With a little faith, you can double your Xmas pleasure.

HO HO HO!

Everyone is having a great time in EvE Online.

Ringlingdingalingringadingdingbing.

Antiganker alazarr spent years trying to buy every Catalyst in New Eden.

Sometimes, the best revenge takes a really long time.

Thanks for the free cats, bro!

There’s never been a better time to enlist.

Hey, this blog just writes itself.

Gosh, you guys are the greatest.

I really do appreciate it, and it does keep me going.

Ganking is neither easy, nor inexpensive.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Haha, very funny Wah Huren!

Perfect

Ashterothi was streaming today, with a vibrant discussion of griefing and harassment. Not surprisingly, he concluded that I am perfect.

Anyone who suggests otherwise is trying to scam you.

Don’t listen to salty carebears who cry.

Those people are mental, in real-life.

You don’t want to be one of them, do you?

Come to a FREE Safety. meetup and accept TRUTH.

Meanwhile, Spanish miner Gwen Hekki has been wrestling with demons.

The loss of her Venture was upsetting, and she cried.

Gwen sought revenge, by shooting empty pods.

She has written about these struggles on her own blog.

One day, Gwen realized an important truth: “ser victima sólo era el resultado del descuido o ver a EVE Online como un Farm Village espacial.To be a victim, is only the result of carelessness, and treating EVE like Space Farmville.

In Dein Mund

Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.

Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.

I don’t mind the attention.

I’m here to help.

Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

That’s the truth!

I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).

What can I say?

You can’t deny success.