The Best Revenge, Part 101

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, in Jamestown… avia naali (aka aiva naali) became the Grand Executor of the mighty Goonswarm Federation, and was determined to crush Pandemic Horde (because they made fun of him). However, the double trader Vily suddenly invaded Delve, and avia was forced to fight a war on two fronts.

avia stalled for time, ordering Brisc Rubal‘s Initiative alliance to die in Fort Fountain, so that elite Goonswarm diplos could find their way through the Byzantine wormhole maze and negotiate a treaty in the ruins of Fort Knocks.

avia prepared for an evacuation to Highsec, via the wormholes.

Meanwhile, he sent some advice to Brisc – don’t let the enemy win!

From time to time, Slackbot and Princess Aiko reported to their commander.

avia contemplated his strategic options.

Before long, a decision was made.

It was obviously necessary to appoint a duke/duchess for each keepstar!

Everyone in Goonswarm was ready to pod themselves.

The Imperial Navy hid in lowsec, pretending to be desprite.

It was all a trick!

avia was particularly keen to crush PanFam Joe.

Readers of MinerBumping will recall that Joe was a regular contributor to the boisterous comments, where he revealed himself to be avia’s arch-nemesis.

avia is much smarter than PanFam Joe.

The plan was working perfectly.

It was time to pay the hardworking war council.

Forward, to victory!

To be continued…

Hey there

Hey, I’m Aiko.

People love my best EVE Online blog.

They tell me all the time.

That’s right!

I know what men want.

What do you think I want?

A girl has needs.

It’d be a real shame if you had a Safety incident.

Nobody likes a poor.

Right?

Cheers!

Top Tier

I am a top tier EVE Online champion.

Some people claim that mining permits are a scam.

The true scammers are bitterbear griefers who don’t want new players to be happy.

Let’s consider the benefits of a mining permit.

johnson Muvila bought a mining permit, after a long day of bumping.

When he was ganked, he bought an additional License ID CODE.

Aiko Danuja > Kill: johnson Muvila (Skiff)
johnson Muvila > can i ask why i was ganked? im a licensed miner 🙁
Aiko Danuja > You owe me money.
johnson Muvila > i thought i was paid off for a year?
Krig Povelli > Did you include the License ID Code?

Shortly thereafter, he lost another alt. 

Once again, he had a permit.

Does this look like a scam to you?

Main miner Lucas Malukker knew how to resolve this issue.

Problem solved.

He just needed an ID CODE for each alt.

Lucas loves me, and I would never scam him.

I’m the financial dominatrix Highsec needs.

He even sent a tip.

Lucas Malukker > alright it is done your highness, i am honoured to have been able to experience the great liberation of your cause 3 times in one day and i am grateful for your benevolence.
Lucas Malukker > i do have one question though, the code is the same “DURR-315” for all 3 accounts (i appreicate the humour lol) how can you be sure nobody will copy said code and play it off as their own
Aiko Danuja > it is registered to you
Lucas Malukker > i am glad to hear it, i trust your system and hope any false prophets will be vanquished by your glorious wrath
Aiko Danuja > Yes, you should be very happy now.
Lucas Malukker > i am indeed very happy and grateful for all you have done.
Aiko Danuja > Excellent news!
Lucas Malukker > Please accept another 100m as a token of my appreciation to you Princess Aiko Danuja, for all you do and say is right
Aiko Danuja > Very well, I will accept this.

It’s not a scam!

It’s the law.

The Notepad Trick

Yesterday, we learned about the antiganking notepad trick.

Gankers were amazed.

Today, we will learn more about the notepad doctrine.

When you are whoring on killmails, you want to whore on them all.

Antigankers compete to maximize their killboard padding/hr.

IRL losers build their legacy on meaningless killmails.

Future generations might wonder whether a 10’000 isk killmail was ‘valuable’. Ten thousand isk sounds like a lot, but CCP has assigned a value of $0.00015 per pod. In contrast, the average Venture has a value of 6 million isk ($0.09).

In terms of isk, Hyperion pods a Venture each year.

Desperation is apparent during the annual Halloween event (when otherwise destroyed items are lootable), as Hyperion scrambles to kill his alt as many times as possible, pretending that he is actually doing something. Some people accuse me of killboard padding, but antigankers are literally padding their killboard.

Shekelfist took Phyve Solette prisoner, so we could learn more.

Phyve revealed antiganking’s secret weapon.

Send 1 billion isk NOW to learn the secret.

Some people have turned killmail whoring into a science.

Amazing!

When will Phyve get bored of the whore lifestyle?

Valryon’s Revenge

Valryon is an odd one.

Valryon tried to antigank me, but it never worked.

I’m the best.

Antigankers just want to be part of the story, my story.

However, shooting empty pods is boring.

Falcon jamming is ineffective.

Valryon resigned from the New Eden Police Force.

As a therapeutic exercise, Valryon imagined a conversation with me.

Once again, the antiganking community is struggling with sexual harassment.

Valryon exposed a secret antiganking doctrine: the notepad trick.

It sounds stupid.

To authenticate these leaks, Valryon sent 100 million isk.

This is why antiganking will never succeed.

Perfect

Ashterothi was streaming today, with a vibrant discussion of griefing and harassment. Not surprisingly, he concluded that I am perfect.

Anyone who suggests otherwise is trying to scam you.

Don’t listen to salty carebears who cry.

Those people are mental, in real-life.

You don’t want to be one of them, do you?

Come to a FREE Safety. meetup and accept TRUTH.

Meanwhile, Spanish miner Gwen Hekki has been wrestling with demons.

The loss of her Venture was upsetting, and she cried.

Gwen sought revenge, by shooting empty pods.

She has written about these struggles on her own blog.

One day, Gwen realized an important truth: “ser victima sólo era el resultado del descuido o ver a EVE Online como un Farm Village espacial.To be a victim, is only the result of carelessness, and treating EVE like Space Farmville.

Bait Freighter

I am live blogging the Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Kethiera Imanin lost a freighter, and she’s not mad.

She’s a space lawyer.

Someone made a serious mistake…

…and there are going to be consequences.

It was actually a bait freighter.

She tricked us all.

Now we are getting reported.

We are in big trouble.

Kethiera is a big fish, and she’s reporting to bigger fish.

What will we do?

Watch out gankers…

Don’t fall for a bait freighter!

*****LIVE UPDATE*****

Kethiera is famous now.

She loves her soapbox.

What a goofus.

Right?

CHAT LETS GO (pop off)

My alliance is doing well.

You love my -10 stats.

Lately, I’ve been expanding.

Highsec gankers are doing better than nullsec titanbears.

We are a top tier alliance.

Some people are salty about our success.

The wraiths are hungry.

Never go full Ward.

You’ll look stupid (and salty)!

Some people gank Orcas, and some people are Bingo cards.

It must suck to know I have no life, and can play EVE every day. 

If you are gonna trash talk me, make sure not to trash talk yourself.

Hm!

Viirilithizu always knows how to cheer me up.

Previously, Ward wanted killmails…

Now, he doesn’t want them!

Does Ward sound like a salty meme to you?

I wonder if he will stop ranting?

I wish I knew how to do real PvP.

Thanks for helping me write a blog post.

Stay in touch!

I’m glad you are content.

Seriously though…

Meltdowns are forever.

Okay?

I have my doubts!

Game Over

Miners need attention.

They are usually poor sports.

Crabs aren’t the smartest, even in real-life.

They are rarely calm.

Carebears are slow learners…

…but they are learning.

I’m Princess Aiko.

I’m so elite.

Who’s your mommy?

That’s right.