Go to Hek

I’m currently visiting the tomb of James.

Locals are excited to meet me.

Minnieminers are especially stupid.

Following their recent eviction, PAPI remnants have consolidated in and around Nakugard, to the east, west, north, and south somewhat.

This is an especially popular spot.

These miners have elite nullbear mains.

Readers of Minerbumping.com will recall the story of Timopotamus, a brilliant agent who was enforcing the CODE. long before plebs like Super Perforator ever heard of 315. You will be pleased to know that Timopotamus is still out there, always watching, and (believe it or not) he even submits content to this blog.

Spoiler: Maugrim Rax failed to destroy Timopotamus.

On a whim, we double killed a pair of Procurers.

We also won an elite 1v1 duel.

Jinx!

It sure sucks to be a miner.

Nobody likes a poor.

They are only good for one thing.

fu princess

evan mclean (aka not Kalle) has a special message for yours truly.

I am the greatest capsuleer.

Someday, they will make an Aiko statue.

loyalanon said he’s proud of me, bro.

I’m just the best.

Everyone agrees.

Only plebs get unironically salty with me.

Some people are idiots.

Everybody else knows the truth.

Cheers!

Miner Madness

I don’t pay much attention to miners.

However, the latest patch has triggered a wave of mewling.

I’m not sure what the fuss is about.

CCP has set an irrational precedent, allowing crybabies in Jita the delusion that anybody cares about them. Pro tip: nobody cares.

I spoke with an unironic Highsec miner.

What’s wrong miner?

Is this the end of AFK mining?

Will miners adapt to economic realities?

Two things are for certain.

Mining is boring, and miners are poors.

There’s no shame in quitting.

Miners need to focus on the big picture.

This is good news.

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 3

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 1

Previously, in EVE Online… a miner died (thrice).

Boris was dismayed, because his lesbian aunt is a Highsec ganker.

These are actual screenshots of EVE Online gameplay.

Like many miners, Boris doesn’t care about mining.

Losers just love to explain how they still don’t care.

I’m happy to listen.

I am Aiko, Princess of the Forest…

…and Slut of Copenhagen.

I look forward to hearing from you.

What a game…

We will get to Paradise – and you will all just die!
V.V.Putin

Boris sure trolled me.

I’m a scary girl!

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 Space… Boris lost another Retriever.

:TRIGGER WARNING:
EXPLICIT SEXUAL CONTENT (AND RACISM) IN EVE ONLINE

Aveve needs to learn how to take clear screenshots.

Doesn’t that look better?

Regardless, this is good stuff.

In EVE Online, Boris roleplays as a Christian miner.

He is persecuted, by homosexual terrorists.

Someday, if he can afford a boat, he will fight the dog fuckers.

I don’t want Boris to get banned. I find this entertaining!

Boris, you crazy Russian!

To be continued…

Boris Goes Bananas

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Boris does not tolerate fools, or bad prostates.

He knows this is a video game.

Unfortunately, Boris lost three barges, in outer space.

In a game like EVE Online, this is a blunder.

Boris was about to get serious.

To be continued…

Nope

Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.

Was this the end of the galaxy?

Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.

All is well!

We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.

Here’s a video!

In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.

Safety inspectors are investigating.

Let’s examine the SRP request.

Ah, I found the problem…

You were trying to run your own business.

Safety first, always!

Is pulling CONCORD an exploit?

Multiple independent sources are confirming that CCP has been warning and/or banning people for “pulling” CONCORD. There has been speculation that this was “abnormal” pulling, and not the normal activity practiced routinely by gankers and antigankers for more than a decade. However, my sources have become increasingly clear that CCP is targeting gankers for routine pulling.

For example, the Novus Ordo antigankbears have been antiganking by pulling CONCORD into ice belts, to protect their Russian mining clients. Now it appears that gankers who counterpull are being warned for “delaying” CONCORD by drawing CONCORD out of the belt (because Novus Ordo is reporting them).

It is true, that pulling affects response times, but for more than a decade this has been normal gameplay. It was specifically allowed.

Are gankers no longer allowed to pull? Perhaps so, but if that is the case, there are going to be some significant changes.

I don’t know what to say.

I’ll just wait to see if CCP replies to my ticket.

Maybe everything is fine?

Fortunately, GM IceCream states it is ok to manipulate CONCORD to decrease (rather than increase) response times. Instead of pulling CONCORD away from the gate (to make it easier to gank on the gate), just pull CONCORD to the station (in order to make it harder to gank on the station). Problem solved!

Indeed, IceCream claims it is ok to spawn CONCORD in specific situations (provided that you do not intentionally reduce CONCORD response times), but as Jason notes, there is no possible scenario in which you can spawn CONCORD without simultaneously reducing response time elsewhere.

In Dein Mund

Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.

Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.

I don’t mind the attention.

I’m here to help.

Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

That’s the truth!

I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).

What can I say?

You can’t deny success.

Troll me better

Hey there.

We are the most powerful alliance in the galaxy.

Trust is the most valuable commodity in EVE Online.

If you don’t believe me, this could be you.

Just calm down.

Yikes, never go full Ward.

Oof.

It’s just a game, until you are crying in local, two years later.

Haha, it’s funny.

What a crazy retard.

Like, for real.

I don’t even want to laugh at you.

I can’t help it though.

Here’s an official endorsement from CODE.

I’m still on the team.

That’s right.