Antiganking with Aiko

Even the best antigankers strive to perfect their craft.

Recently, I decided to level up.

I just won’t fight ships that can shoot back.

Tama is a safe space for my friends.

You are on Team Aiko, or you are trash.

Even big dog streamers are watching me.

There’s nothing else they can do.

Here’s a funny thought.

I literally have no balls, at all — in real life!

Erik Meets a Good Girl

Listening to: Chantilly Lace

Erik Draven was ganked by the Loot Fairy.

Poor Erik didn’t have a friend in the galaxy(((

Freedom left him empty inside.

Erik found himself watching a certain someone.

He began to feel something special.

This was his big chance, but did he really have to pay?!

Erik wanted to learn more about the High High Heroin.

As he studied her Holy Word, he was filled with FAITH.

Unlike Hrothgrrarianism, this is a CODE. which people want to be part of.

Doubting Erik experienced a miraculous conversion.

He wasn’t gonna wind up in an incel Lewakian monastery.

True happiness is Chantilly lace and a pretty face…

…and a pony tail ahangin down!

So spend all your money!

The Anti-Code

As we travel through time, deeper into the Jamespocalypse, we marvel at how things have changed. Just recently, we learned how the once mighty CODE. alliance was infiltrated by miners and antigankers. This came as no surprise, since James 315 is dead, and unable to govern his own alliance.

At first glance, Alani Prinz appears to be an incompetent ganker.

Code Genesis certainly looks legit, and it follows roleplay protocol, with an obligatory lucky shamrock and an abundance of stars.

However, Genesis harbors a dark secret.

This is a front for Highsec miners, masquerading as CODE. agents!

Alani Prinz hastily summoned her inner antiganker.

A true antiganker, with 0 damage on an empty pod!

Like most carebears, Alani suffers from paranoid delusions.

She fears those who enforce the CODE.

Alani knows she is not a legitimate agent.

She is just another goofus.

SMDH

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon Dodixie Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.

Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to James Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously masturbating perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.

It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.

It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.

All Glory to the Ice BWitchPrincess!

 

Quadra Loser

Stargate- Sivala is a magical portal.

Champions of EvE Online are found here.

You can also find permafailures, in real life.

Quadra Frost is super obsessed with me.

Since he plays EvE in real life, he is obsessed in real life.

He roleplays as a CONCORD bot, fighting the griefer guild.

What a loser, in real life!

Triggered…

He’s gonna get me.

Thumbs up!

Quadra respects me, and is desperate for my respect.

Sometimes, you just gotta be honest with people.

What a looooooser (in real life)!

Like every miner, Quadra has a secret mystery main.

He’s so smart…

I just can’t help it.

I drive men crazy.

Get a life, you loser!

Haha, omg.

SMDH.

Do you think Quadra Frost is a retarded IRL loser?

Let me know in the comments!

Not bad

Galactus has come a long way, since I found him.

Everyone makes mistakes, but winners don’t quit.

He finally understands what ninja salvaging is truly about.

Galactus enforces the LAW, praising his personal Saviourette.

He has also recorded a message for the antiganking community.

Ok, goodnight!

Battle of Torrinos, Postscript

Previously, we studied the battle of Torrinos, learning how Grand Admiralette Aiko defeated the evil Vast Empire.

We also learned more about the mental muddle, surrounding antiganking loser Everess 88. Princess Aiko wonders, in the third person, whether she goes too far in describing Highsec more ons as autistic reetards. Is this fair? Fortunately, Everess 88 decided to briefly unblock Aiko and fire off a quick clarification, before reblocking our glorious dear leaderess. Presented here, now, for the first time… Everess 88 on Everess 88.

Clarifying his mental afflictions, Everess included a creeper link to a Youtube song. Wow! After some reflection, Her Royal Majesty has linked another Youtube song for Everess to find, when he obsessively reads every word.

This is a friendly reminder to take your meds, always!

The Battle of Torrinos

When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.

I recently discovered a vast empire.

In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.

However, they remember my previous visits.

I often cower in a nearby station.

So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.

He taunted me.

He brought an entire hit squad.

I was in serious trouble.

The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.

I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.

The miners were mocking me.

They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.

That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.

This was getting serious.

It all happened so fast.

Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.

Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.

Everybody was amazed.

They never anticipated my counterattack.

It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.

The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.

Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect. 

The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.

Everybody reflected on the experience.

One thing was crystal clear.

I have a Highsec PvP alt.

So Dumb

If you never played EvE Online, you might be confused.

Antigankers are stupid, in real-life. Actual more ons.

These are the most disgusting, bigoted, toxic people in the game.

They are absolutely mental.

Deep down, they know the truth.

Antigankers are bad at the game.

They are absolute trash.

I’m the best, and they are desperate for attention.

I’m better at EvE, and chess!

I beat Hazen Koraka, at both games, simultaneously.

What a guild of permafailures!

 

1000!

Hello there, friendo.

When James 315 logged into World of Warcraft, I knew something was up. Why would he summon me, an Elven-Italian princess, to rule over his feudal space empire? Well, I don’t know why, but it has something to do with me. I’m the best.

Writing a daily space blog was never my plan in life, this is what James wanted for me, but he died. So what? I do my best to keep his memory alive, but honestly I’m kind of busy being the absolute #1 alltime PvP champion. You know, it’s like being an Olympic gold medalist. I’ve gotta stay focused on my dreams.

I’ve been chatting with Brisc Rubal, and I don’t think he gets it, but that’s ok. I’ve said some mean words, over the years, but I’ll say this – nobody else on the CSM (or at CCP) makes as much effort to discuss the game. I can’t expect a nullsec blobberbear to understand elite Highsec ganking, so I don’t hold that against him. Anyways, I just want to explain something, in the hopes that someone (perhaps you?) might understand.

EvE Online has a market economy. Supply and demand regulate the market. If supply drops, then prices increase. Therefore, CCP has no reason to protect carebears from PvP. It should be dangerous to mine, crab, rat, or haul. This will increase rewards for those who engage in active gameplay, and that will improve the game. Risk = Reward.

I’ve played Minecraft, and I dug down to bedrock, with tunnels to nowhere. Diamonds were worthless, cuz it was too easy. I quit, because zombies are not a threat, and the game is boring. I want a challenging PvP battle royale. Unfortunately, in EvE Online, it’s way too lame. Even the wormholers are asleep. I want us scrambling to survive. We won’t even need Titans, because frigates are fun.

CCP tried to implement Blackout and Scarcity, but they failed to stand up to the carebear whinelords. We need to let those people uninstall. Goodbye to losers and lossers! I believe there is a niche market for PvP, and every uninstalling reetard will be replaced by someone who gets it. All miners must die.

This special essay was composed by cranberry vodka, and I know you are wondering… Aiko, what is the occasion? Well, there is an ancient curse. If a ganker loses 1000 destroyers, before they enter the ranks of the top thousand players, then they will magically be transformed into a salty bitterbear. Fortunately, I’m a success!

I was so scared, my entire legacy hung in the balance, and antiganker Everess 88 had an alt parked on the gate…

Boom goes the dynamite! From downtown, Aiko dunked on the HookNose clan, scoring 5 points and sealing eternal fate. Everess had a chance to send Aiko to permanent damnation, and wow, just wow, antiganking failed again.

Yea, verily, and so it came to pass. One Aiko the Fair, a Maiden true and Agilborne, did thusly ascend into the ranks of the mightiest thousand players to ever undock a spaceship, and she was most beautiful and gracious.

Squizz Caphinator personally demoted Servanda, a once mighty battleship pilot from Northern Coalition. Instead, Aiko will be hailed in his place. Servanda wasted more than twelve long years on his foolish quest to destroy the Mittani, and he was defeated by a mere girl. Oh Servanda, the Valkyries weep for you.

Everyone who plays EvE Online goes to Valhalla. If you are among the thousand greatest, you are invited to the party in my box. The next nine thousand players, people like Suitonia, will be cast into darkness, gnashing their teeth in miserable anguish. Everyone else, anyone who ever made an account, will become a ravaging zombie. If you are fortunate enough to be in the top hundred thousand players, you will be a fast zombie. The loser lossers will tear each other apart, whilst we dance in the Hall of the Thousand.