Aiko Danuja Penismuncher

Antigankers are the most toxic people in the game.

High Side is a typical ‘white knight’. If I acted like him, antigankers would cry foul, claiming the moral high ground. However, you can see for yourself. Gankers are classy cats, and antigankers are bitterbear losers.

High Side’s alt is KOCMO EHOT.

They are upset, because I ganked their antiganking Talos.

Naturally, incels are enraged by my mouth.

High Side is crushing on me, and wants to pull my ponytail.

Aiko Danuja sucks dick, very cheap.
She’s a whore like her mother,
and she loves when you piss in her mouth.

He’s not wrong. I love a good time!

SLUT
SUCKING PENIS

KOCMO High Side is a bad man, in real life…

… so I sent my regards.

You might not like me, but I’m kinda like a big deal, ya know?

I get paid to do what I love.

I’m a Princess!

High Side intends to continue with his ‘campaign’.

It is obvious who hasn’t been getting any blowjobs.

Like, real talk, I only date gankers.

Busy in Uedama

Today, we dunked freighters in Uedama, as antigankers spectated.

Most NPCs appear surprised when they enter.

They are perpetually confused.

Did they just jump into a warzone?

Some suspect multiboxing.

Our fleets are rather large.

Miners are so easy to please.

A few bears notice something amiss.

Something seems really wrong in Uedama.

There’s definitely something wrong with the antigank intel channel.

The antigankers just want us to leave.

Why would I attack my own rorquals?

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand

A lot of people are talking about Highsec’s hot new mining corporation.

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is the place for A1 miners.

It’s one of my personal fan clubs.

There are several elite tiers.

All miners are invited!

My themed mining corps encourages submissive miners to orbit me.

Finally, miners can simp in style.

Just listen to these authentic testimonials!

I also train newbro gankers.

Literal hand holding.

You are personally invited to join me (in a wholly separate alliance).

Recently, antigankers have started ganking innocent newbro miners.

Antiganking fails again! Daily!

Baited on a free _____

Uedama Blues

Sometimes, we like to shoot one another.

We can afford it.

Lucy was autopiloting through Uedama.

When she returned to her computer, she was surprised to learn of a gank attempt.

Like most antigankers, zebra 407 felt unappreciated.

He claimed to be Lucy’s bumping saviour.

Lucy checked her logs, and concluded otherwise.

zebra is just a lowlife scammer.

WoW! Just WoW! Antiganking is failing SO hard right now! Daily!

I’m glad I don’t have to beg for isk.

That’d be super embarrassing.

 Laugh out Loud.

LoL @ Khromius, Part 3

Previously, in Aikotopia… Erbacher lost his mining Kikimora, and Khromius vowed a “scorched Earth campaign”, roleplaying as a tough guy wardeccer. However, Princess Aiko made the desert bloom, and magical spaceships appeared from thin air. Khromius couldn’t handle the truth. Aiko was winning without any effort! Also, she was laughing at him, because free isk is gosh darn funny.

Aiti Jen, aka Charlie, was rewarded for his generous donations with a bonus round, hosted by a former CODE. celebrity.

Charlie was disgruntled. He visited the front, expecting to see Aiko’s new navy. Instead, he saw a handful of grumpy BLACKFLAG. bears grinding away on random stations, whilst spunky gankers dunked on hapless miners.

Aiko’s emissary quickly resolved Charlie’s concern.

Men of honor can easily reach an understanding.

Charlie was pleased, and made payment.

Was it possible Charlie could pay a little more?

Of course, Charlie wanted to be sure Aiko would stop ganking.

Also, what about the Sunday timer?

Those eggheads in Isanamo did their math, and the numbers were clear.

Charlie didn’t trust his new allies, but their logic was impeccable. 

Aiko would re-renounce ganking, forever, and Charlie would pay!

 

However, a few days later, Aiti regretted his decision.

He filed a formal complaint with Aiko’s boss, Australian Jesus…

…and that’s the story of how Khromius helped Aiko.

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

LoL @ Khromius, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Khromius was salty about ganking, so he declared war upon an innocent girl, Princess Aiko. This was fine, because she laughs at antiganking carebears, and Khromius handed her a wonderful opportunity.

Like most people, who haven’t read the blog, Khromius is apparently unaware of how easily Princess Aiko distorts the fabric of roleplay spacetime. Somehow, the war was no longer about ganking, or stations, or anything connected to fundamental realities. This was simply a fantasy business proposition, and Aiko sells victory.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Alright. 1. I can supply your corp with ships to fight and stop him fitted at my expense. I do not want leadership or isk. Your corp keeps all profits.
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > 2. Stop ganking miners in hisec around jita.
Shekelstein Shakiel > I will pass the message about miners to my leader, i think i can work something out

The war thus became an asymmetrical proxy conflict. Aiti Jen was willing to fund Aiko, but only if she renounced terrorism.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > I know you are in need.
Shekelstein Shakiel > alright
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > How many drakes?
Shekelstein Shakiel > around 27
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Wow I will spend billions, but okay are you sure they want drakes, all of them?
Shekelstein Shakiel > send 20 for now

Somewhere, Khromius was stifling a yawn, slowly grinding down a structure. Meanwhile, Aiko was victorious. Isk positive, always!

Shekelstein explained Aiko’s doctrine.

Some say that Aiko is a witch, in real life.

Indeed, spaceships began falling from orbit.

It was an entire armada…

…with all the fittings.

The deal was struck!

Of course, I don’t actually own any structures…

…but I’m glad they are in Safety.

Everything was promptly sold in Jita, to purchase more Catalysts. Why would I want to waste my time doing boring station timer quests?

To be continued…

LoL @ Khromius

@everyone LoL @ Khromius. It’s not every day I make isk fall from the sky, but it happens more often when salty carebears freak about ganking.

Gay Pride BOOOOOM caught Erbacher doing PvE carebear mining missions, so he did the only thing a self-respecting ganker would do. He put the hapless miner down. For some weird reason, this made Khromius cry, so he decided to declare war on me, lol! Why did Khromius become an antiganker? Yikes!

Khromius is learning the hard way. I’ve been nice and polite, but things go poorly for those who oppose me. You know, a little bird told me it’s possible to gank quantum cores. Is that true? Meanwhile, station grinding is beyond boring, not lucrative, and kind of awkward when gankers are in system. Yes, Khromius was so salty, that he literally paid CCP to make it easier for us to kill poor Erbacher again.

Behind the scenes, I’ve always supported wardeccers, and discouraged hostile actions against them. Meanwhile, my supporters inside BLACKFLAG. question their leader’s fitness to command. They don’t actually want to be antigankers, and they don’t enjoy cringing at his emotional blunders. Is Khromius really naive enough to think this war will end in a few hours? Why is he so salty about a mining Kikimora?

As Sun Tzu said, it’s best to check who you are attacking, before blindly stumbling into an always war. Khromius probably won’t believe the truth, but the good guys are laughing in Teamspeak, because he handed us piles of isk.

As the Queen of Antiganking, I let miners know my alliance is beset by space bully griefers. It didn’t take long to attract a white knight orbiter…

Khromius likely has no idea that Aiti Jen is a big supporter of Princess Aiko. Hey, just check out Proof of Concept, Part III. I’ll tell you what, it doesn’t matter how good you are at game mechanics, if someone else is way better at basic social skills. It’s called metagaming, because I win from beyond the game.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Maybe an alliance should be in order
Shekelstein Shakiel > thats correct
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Very well. I heard you guys needed help. We have a common enemy, I thought I might be of help.

WoW! Just WoW! Antiganking is failing SO hard right now! Daily!

To be continued…

 

 

Dossed in Isa

In the darkness, a voice cried out.

HeranMan was fed up with space bullies.

However, Chad worried about this young miner.

EVE is just a game, but with real-life consequences.

Experienced New Order agents recognized an opportunity for FREE tech support.

Like William Rageclaw, Heran began a DDOS offensive.

A few cynics doubted Heran’s ability.

However, Heran revealed his ability to hack Aiko, via the EVE client.

Finally, someone was taking a stand against autism.

Like many all miners, Heran has a substance abuse condition.

When Shekel tried to use facts, Heran snapped.

Can CCP servers handle the DDOS?

Never go full bot.

Heran offered one last surprise.

The Cataline Conspiracy (RELOADED)

Yesterday, in James 315 space, we examined how a Highsec mining corporation attempted to ‘corner’ the Catalyst market. Today, we announce that Princess Aiko has convinced Scooby Snacks Corp to continue their scheme.

If you are invested in Catalyst futures, this is good news. At press time, our Jita analyst reports prices already approaching the January 29 peak.

How many Catalysts can YOU manufacture and sell?

Two years ago, Scooby Snacks Corp attempted to bribe Aiko, with a gift of 3200 Catalysts in return for a ‘sweetheart’ deal. alazarr and alts have now decided to terminate the alliance, and intend to buy their Catalysts back at any cost.

You may recall the Great Catalyst Panic of 2019, when alazarr attempted a similar scheme, before giving up and handing the Catalysts to Aiko. We can only hope that a similar outcome presents itself, as alazarr vows to invest 7 trillion isk.

alazarr gave Aiko fair warning…

…but she rebuffed him with a diplomatic snub.

If the scheme continues, you can thank Aiko.

It’s gonna be a long expensive year.

What will happen next?

Why does Aiko keep doing this?

Oh no! Please don’t throw me in the briar patch!

EVE is such a great game, isn’t it?

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