Category: Kills of the Week

Why gank shuttles and corvettes?

Well, it can encourage communication…

Let’s see what this miner had to say!

Please continue…

Indeed!

Is spite autopiloting a thing?

Apparently so!

This miner needs a space attorney.

Imagine losing your spaceship for a sandwich…

Here is the full text for Google SEO!

Your Recent Loss
From: Aaaarrgg
Sent: 2026.03.02 19:41
To: Cassy Fonulique,

Dear Cassy Fonulique

This notice is to recap the recent interaction you had with The New Order of High Sec’s agent(s) and/or knights Colelie is a solar sytem under the control of The New Order of High Sec, and as such falls under the jurisdiction of The New Halaim a Code of Conduct

Please reread up on the Code and your responsibilities in our Sovereign space http://www.minerbumping.com/p/the-code.html .

The Law of Highsec has also been simplified for your convenience here LawsOfHighsec , clause 2:D and 2:E for reference

At approximately 13:37 An Agent of the New Order of Highsec entered the space you were flying in. Upon further inspection we observed that you were autopiloting and or loitering afk both of which are illegal in James 315’s Sovereign space.

Due to your criminal actions we authorized a strike/s against your vessel/s

Kill: Cassy Fonulique (Velator) Kill: Cassy Fonulique (Capsule)

Please be reminded for the future that mining and/or any PVE activity in New Order space can be done by obtaining a New Order Mining Permit for 10 million ISK, good for one year, and observing the provisions of The New Halaima Code of Conduct.

If you feel your termination was in error or that proper New Order procedure was not followed by agent Aaaarrgg, you may request reimbursement by contacting James 315 The New Order’s Reimbursement Specialist, to appeal your loss. you are also allowed to contact James favourite handmaiden aiko danuja for further reimbursement chats and support .
Have a great day,

Aaaarrgg

On Behalf of Agent Aaaarrgg

Praise James 315 \o/

That’s right.

Re: Your Recent Loss
From: Cassy Fonulique
Sent: 2026.03.02 21:51
To: Aaaarrgg,

Dear Aaaarrgg,

I want to begin by saying that receiving your letter was the highlight of my day, in the same way that stepping on a Lego is the highlight of your foot.
I have read your notice carefully, consulted the CONCORD legal database, spoken with three separate Amarr lawyers, and burned some incense, and I can confirm with full scientific certainty that you own absolutely nothing. Not Colelie. Not High Sec. Not even the moral high ground, which is impressive given how low the bar is when your entire career is suicide-ganking rookie ships.

A Velator.

Let’s just sit with that for a moment.

You. A fully formed adult human being with presumably functional hands and access to the internet. Formed a fleet. Undocked. Scanned cargo. Did the math on a ship that was assembled in a factory as an afterthought. And then, with all the gravitas of a man who has made deeply questionable life choices, you shot it.

And then you sent a form letter.

I imagine James 315 himself, perched atop his throne of recycled forum posts and delusion, a single tear of pride rolling down his cheek, whispering “This is what we trained for.”

Regarding your Code: I have reviewed it. I have also reviewed my horoscope, the back of a shampoo bottle, and a fortune cookie from 2019, and I found all four documents to be equally binding on my behavior in a video game. The fortune cookie, for what it’s worth, told me to “embrace new adventures”; so I autopiloted through your system again, just now, out of spite.

You’re welcome.

The mining permit offer is a very tempting proposition and I will absolutely consider purchasing one immediately after: CCP officially updates the sovereignty map, James 315 is recognized by at least one (1) legitimate government, and Aiko Danuja sends me a handwritten apology on scented stationery for whatever that whole situation is.

I also want to address the appeals process. You’ve suggested I contact James 315’s “Reimbursement Specialist”, who is also, if I’m reading this correctly, James 315, to appeal a loss to James 315’s organization, adjudicated by James 315’s Code, in James 315’s sovereign space that James 315 declared on a blog.

I have to admire the efficiency. It’s giving very much kangaroo court, but make it space.

In closing, I would like to thank you sincerely for the free Velator that CCP will give me in approximately 45 seconds, for the killmail that I will be framing and hanging above my capsule pod as a trophy of the day I was briefly inconvenienced, and for reminding me that somewhere out there, a person woke up today, made coffee, and thought “Yes. Today I enforce the laws of a blog.”

You are doing amazing, sweetie.

\o/ Praise the Calendar Date \o/

Eternally unbothered, Cassy Fonulique CEO, Unlicensed Mining Operations LLC Proud Velator Pilot, Retired (involuntarily, briefly) Permit Status: Absolutely Not

P.S. I was AFK because I was making a sandwich. It was a great sandwich. It was worth more than my Velator. You may want to reflect on that.