Guide to Absolute Victory

Guest Article

Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.

Aiko made a map.

There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.

*Facts and Evidence*

The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.

We hate Romania, so we started bumping.

Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?

Just think about it.

Griefing Gone Wild

Listening to: Snoop

Hot or not?

Hey there.

You know how I do.

Just Aiko things.

We especially love to grief newbros.

TrickyNicky started off as an antiganker’s miner.

I walked all over him.

Hey. If you can’t beat me, join me.

Well, he tried his best.

This way little guy.

Wow, there you go!

Now that’s a neat trick, Nick!

Haha, we sure griefed that poor newbro streamer.

That’s how you play EvE Online.

When the miner’s in the belt
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
When CONCRD try to get at you
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
Gank it like it’s hot
And if a freighter get a attitude
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hot
Pop it like it’s hot

And I roll the best weed ’cause I got it going on
Uh! I’m a nice gal, with some nice dreams
See these Catalysts, see these Coercers?
High security, million isk boats
The interior like red
Killer with the beat, I know killers that are elite
You should think about it, take a second

I’m a gangsta, but y’all knew that
Da Big Boss B, yeah I had to do that
Ain’t no other way to play the game the way I play
I can’t fake it, just break it, and when I take it
See I specialize in making all the miners get safe

End of an Era, Part 13

End of an Era, Part 1

Incursion bears are down and out.

Losing is never fun.

One by one, ‘leaders’ continue to resign.

We are much more organized than them.

We erased their isk!

Spreadsheet don’t lie.

Yet another ‘leader’ abandoned their own community.

Nobody needs a carebear FC…

Indeed.

Let’s gooooo!

Will Hawk keep going?

Of course…

Meanwhile, ex-leader Sasha continues to undermine morale.

GAME OVER

To be continued…

Earn Aiko Points

Gyatt Festival, Dodixie Federal Test Center – Stardate 23360

System: Misneden

Today, I am nullifying all outstanding New Order shares. They no longer have any value whatsoever. For those who donated, I say “Thanks for the free isk, bro.” So now what?

You must pay again!

Highsec deserves better. Since I always be best, I am perfectly positioned to provide points for every citizen of Aikospace, ensuring isk flows for eternity. Even a bearpleb can succeed through my grace. In ganking,you can and will be saved.

I am pleased Aiko Points are available for merely 1 billion isk. Each capsuleer must purchase as many points as they can, in addition to the requisite mining permits, travel visas, and/or blue passes. To encourage you in this quest, bonus points will be awarded at the following tiers: 5 billion, 20 billion, 100 billion, 315 billion, 1 trillion, and 5 trillion. Furthermore, a very special reward will be offered to each shareholder who is the first to claim a bonus tier, and annual shareholder parties will celebrate the most generous supporters of Highsec ganking.

In fact, I have decided the ultimate second-place in EvE Online will be whomsoever sends the most isk. I ask, “How much isk do you have, and why?” This is your chance to find out. Unlike you, I guarantee that all isk will be used for ganking. Now that’s a square deal! 

ISK, assets, skill points, shares, and PLEX can always be sent to Aiko Danuja, to finance Aiko points. Every purchase will be formally acknowledged, solemnly honoured, and joyously commemorated on the brand new leaderboard, which I will update once I am done investing your isk. This is all outlined in my original shareholder agreement, as codified by myself. That’s reasonable and fair.

Civil War

It’s not every day that we take a step back from EvE Online, and reflect on the real world. However, Aiko has been hard at work on this film, and it’s finally landed. Wow. Well done Aiko.

Let’s see what a critic might say.

It’s a solid four, even five stars.

As a combat space blogger, this is my jam.

It was so fucking good.

That movie has great dialogue, don’t you think?

Chat let’s go!

Boy, you best be watching that movie.

I wanna see it again.

Soon.

Here’s a second trailer.

Also, guess what?

Wow, some great writers out there.

Cheerzah!




Mission Ready Mining, Reloaded

Listening to: Hazards

Fly Fearless alliance should be afraid.

They are not mission ready.

They are barely able to compose a coherent sentence.

However, miners are still men of a sort.

You know how men are…

I’m mission ready sexy.

The Devil only wants one thing.

This sexy talk concerned my IRL boyfriend.

So naturally Devilishh was sent to miner’s prison.

Meanwhile, Tweeps decided it was time to have the talk.

Uh oh.

It is what it is.

To be continued…

That’s right.

Doidn That Braking

That ended poorly.

On Day 4, Andres M Afanador reflected on these events.

What are we even talking about?

Oh right, now I remember.

That’s right.

Andres finally admitted he’s a miner, and never tough.

I wen t so salty, cuz some people enjoy mining.

Andres, I’m sorry – you deserve a free mine on me.

jajajajajajaja

Unfortunately, Andres still blames me for his failed mining.

Indeed, doidn that omg brake CODE.

Andres was neither the first, nor the last.

Miyammato Musashi is another loosely affiliated mining alt.

CODE. jump freighters are often salty.

No, your random mining alts are not automatically blue.

I don’t know what you are talking about.

That’s when things got weird.

What?

Mining Andres

Listening to: Minimal Techno Classic 3

That’s a lie.

Andres M Afanador is a Highsec miner.

Like most miners, he just doesn’t get it.

Andres, we are not into mining.

Recently, Andres began mining for BLACKFLAG.

Apparently, they’ve fallen on hard times.

Andres, you need a mining permit!

So then the ganks began…

A gentle reminder to stop mining.

He actually thought BLACKFLAG would protect him?

Breaking News: Andres M Afanador caught mining in Highsec.

Our leadership has a consensus.

We all wanted a solution, including Tweeps (aka James 315).

Meanwhile, Andres was (not) salty.

Andres isn’t in my alliance, and he is mining. Is that loyalty?

Andres, I find your loyalty insufficient.

The diplomatic situation was deteriorating.

Fortunately, my friends are not stupid.

Andres the antiganker failed again.

Nobody likes an antiganker.

This is how things work in Highsec.

Stop mining.

Pay your taxes.

Obey the CODE. Safety agents.

Seek help.

Never go full miner.

Those minerals I mine are freeREEE!

Andres had a little too much ice.

I hope he calms down.

That might be difficult.

Bee well!

CHAT LETS GO

Ok, what happened?

It all started with an illegal Orca, and his ToxicFriend.

This was a real Highsec space battle.

Eventual, things reached their inevitable conclusion.

Another glorious victory!

=BONUS TRICK=

Just then, something magical transpired…

Indeed, Ivy Bloodstar was the real villain…

It’s always a bad time to do crime.