Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=
Well, hello there.
People love what I do.
Returning quitters know my name.
They even know my alts!
I must be doing something…
Let’s see the latest thing I done did.
Oh look, another botfarm.
Sad to see…
EvE Online sure has a lot of bots.
I just kill them all.
You love it!
That’s right…
Oh, hey there…
The miners notice me.
Sometimes, I notice them!
They also notice my friends.
We get a lot of attention.
As we travel the stars…
…I can feel them watching.
What do they see?
I wonder what they think about me?
They probably think I’m the best.
I bet they like me.
Maybe it’s love?
o7 capsuleers!
Listening to: DJ Blyatman
Recently, CASTOLE got griefed in Jita.
What happened?
Clearly, a mistake was made.
CASTOLE decided to confront the bully.
It’s not very nice to shoot a ganker cat.
He She demanded JUSTICE.
At first, it appeared Denenair would not make amends.
However, CASTOLE insisted on reparations.
She even invoked the Saviourette of Highsec.
This was serious stuff.
Denenair Khashour gradually realized the truth.
CASTOLE loves to shoot miners.
Nobody likes miners…
Gankers are pretty cool!
CASTOLE made a 49000% profit.
TRIGGER WARNING: EvE Online
Recently, we encountered an observer.
Catalina Asanari had something to say.
We’ve heard this before!
It never gets old…
I encouraged her to calm down.
Local chat thought she was hyperbolic.
Catalina Asanari > you gonna come to null???
Catalina Asanari > id love to find you there.. lol
Cassian Vale > now you’re just getting desperate
Aiko Danuja > Why dont you just try a permit?
Catalina Asanari > the devs never put it in the game .
Admiral Jackson Wolfe > Hi Aiko Danuja
Monika Hrastin > this is like when my parents got home and started yelling at each other 🙁
Yes Mr Cheng > i wish my parents would come home
I tried to just keep it real.
However, Catalina kept doubling down on negativity.
She poured out endless salt.
I believe in quality over quantity.
Catalina believes in sheer vitriol.
What if we reversed roles?
When you think about it, I’m not so bad.
She was as bad as that other guy!
Catalina wanted me outOUTout.
Eventually, I ganked something in the adjacent system.
Catalina wasn’t happy when I came back.
Apparently, I’ve met Catalina before (but I don’t remember)…
She kept crying for a full week.
That’s kind of crazy!
Eventually, she suggested I commit suicide.
That’s right.
This is Post #1500!
The miners are starting to know their place.
That’s called ‘cope’.
What will the miners do next?
I guess they’ll just whine about ‘harassment’.
o7 quitters!
My name is Aiko Danuja.
That’s right.
Everybody loves me (I am the State).
I’m making a real difference.
I’m not going anywhere.
THANK YOU FOR BEING SO SUPPORTIVE!
Here’s a neat FACT.
That’s right!
o7 capsuleers!
TITUS8 > frankes being a major asshole
The boys were fighting again.
What happened?
Two miners, one belt…
TITUS8 > Frank vanWulfen you are so emotional
Frank vanWulfen > TITUS8 are you fear any Bumper or why are you need 2 Orcas?
TITUS8 > dont be all stupid ass again
Frank vanWulfen > what up Master of Mining?? are you only abe to Autocintroll your ships today again?
It was a regular bump-off.
Titus brought two Orcae, so Frank brought two Machariels.
What would happen next?
TITUS8 > imma just got get my ships and bump his ass
Both miners appealed to witnesses (get it?).
TITUS8 > 1 bill to gank him… lols
TITUS8 > you fear hence the skiffs
Frank vanWulfen > every Times lies
TITUS8 > 1 bill if you ganke him
Every story has two sides.
Frank vanWulfen > TITUS8 you think to kick me every time we meet in the Ass…
Frank vanWulfen > i may gonna go back to the last Things we did to you …
TITUS8 > like i dont fucking care
They were having fun in EvE Online.
TITUS8 > you pay gankers for permits, get ganked, then hate on miners
TITUS8 > your a fucking complete retard bro
Frank vanWulfen > well send the Wind and you get back the Storm
TITUS8 > place the balls on your teeth, and inhale
What a game.
TITUS8 > so stop the gay mach shit, or i will go get 5 and bump butt fuck you and your mom/dad
TITUS8 > id totally fuck his dadx and his mom
TITUS8 > hes german, he knows what its like
That’s right.
That’s right!
=POSTSCRIPT=
Everybody knows the legend.
Aiko Danuja, James 315’s favourite gankerette….
…summoned to Holy Halaima by Fate and Destiny.
PLOT TWIST: I’m the best!
Not surprisingly, there was ANOTHER miracle in Halaima.
I guess it’s just mean to be…
Eight years of unadulterated adulterous success.
Happy birthday Aiko!
That’s right.
That’s right!
I sell a lot of mining permits.
Even the Galactic Lords of Darkness pay rent to me.
не надо = “no need” / “don’t”
пож = shorthand for “пожалуйста” (“please”)
I even sell permits in lowsec.
Bet you didn’t think I’d go there!
“Happy heroes killed a simple miner!!!”
“Glory to the heroes!”
I’m the happiest heroin.
“I didn’t attack anyone, I’m a miner :(”
Aw, he’s just the saddest miner.
Fortunately, I sold him a mining permit.
Then I sold him a Tegheon Access Pass…
That’s right.
He just had one question.
“So I take it I won’t be seeing Makinav anymore?”
Here is my response.
Some losers don’t like me.
Some of them are super salty.
This is an intervention.
Will TheInternet finally learn a lesson?
What is it exactly???
Oh look, it’s a Machariel!
Suddenly – gankers…
What’s your reason to get SUPER big MAD salty?
Bumpers and gankers are often in complex relationships.
That’s right.
To be continued…
