Oh, hey there.
I know.
Everybody loves to meet me.
Everyone has their own emotional experience.
What is your story?
Well, ok then.
I sahut you.
o7 capsuleers!
Tru Lof
Category: Geography
SRP Claim #513-PA
Aiden Vail is a mining man.
Unfortunately, he fell behind on rent.
Consequently, he needs a new ship.
Fortunately, it was Black Friday!
He was a real ice aspirant.
Cool story bro!
Another 2007 newbro.
I naturally established an empathetic rapport.
This is a useful ability.
“The target must succeed on a DC 17 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed. The charmed target regards the vampire as a trusted friend, and is a willing target.”
“Harlots can be both brazen strumpets and haughty courtesans. In addition to the usual fare, the harlot is 15% likely to make something up, and 20% likely to be a thief.
Trust is the basis of every relationship.
Another satisfied customer.
I’m such a good soul.
That’s right.
PRO TIP: Jita has several unique stations!
Somehow, he discovered the blog.
I love to help.
He’s trying to scam me!
I’ve been here before.
It’s just basic math.
Vail asked his new friend for advice.
That’s right.
I explained everything.
That’s the best minigame in EvE Online.
Sad ending…
Life is full of new experiences.
Cheerzah!
Novus Plebbo
Listening to: CASTOLE RADIO
It’s no secret.
We were in CODE, and they weren’t.
They were are mad at James 315.
I call them gankbears.
After James died, it was time to take out the trash.
So we got rid of Hrothgar Nilsson.
However, he made his own alliance, pretending to be us.
Like, for real bro.
James called them ‘former fans’.
[ 2017.03.24 22:58:46 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > i’m about to go mining.
Hrothgar Nilsson > undocking in my mining ship. gank away.
Hrothgar Nilsson > these are not competing professions
Hrothgar Nilsson > the whole is greater than the sum of its part. Null-sec F1 monkey + agent, or miner + agent, or station trader + agent….. you get better at both by being both
Hrothgar Nilsson > i have successfully baited half a dozen concordokkens
Hrothgar runs a mining alliance.
Sad, but true.
Weird, but true.
So I accepted his challenge.
Doctor Zarkov > i made billions that is just a minoe drawback
AFK carebears aren’t real gankers.
They use their character bio as a blog?
xD
Gankbears just grind for isk.
I PvP for fun.
He didn’t want that pod anyways!
Here’s another Plebbo scout.
GF!
That’s right.
That’s right!
How to Sell a Mining Permit #423
First, chat with a miner.
I like to be direct.
He didn’t take the hint.
Mine around and find out!
PLOT TWIST: That’s just my alt.
So the miner contacted a supervisor…
“No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.”
No warning, in my Halaima?
He was informed, but ok…
I keep my Highsec safe.
I value my friends.
I love to help.
This is a good racket.
What a great space job.
That’s right.
Read all about it!
That’s right…
Everything according to plan.
Just another day in EvE Online.
Amazing content.
My ‘friend’ never corrected me.
In fact, the little parrot was scamming me.
Everyone loves a free SRP.
They apparently see it coming.
I play the game my way.
This is not my first time.
It adds up.
It works!
=BONUS ROUND=
I almost forgot.
Nobody likes a delinquent miner.
A few moments later…
Another satisfied customer.
=POSTSCRIPT=
Eventually, Andreska bought a new ship…
It never reached the ice.
xD
=THE END=
Ganger Love
Listening to: GOTHA
Hey there.
They love it.
Silly miners.
That’s right.
Silly bears.
Let’s do it again!
)))
In the CODE.
Next, they go to Why Was I Ganked?
True story.
Then they get bonus offers.
Another satisfied repeat customer.
He also ordered a new Bowhead.
Of course, there is a delivery fee.
That’s right.
What a happy miner.
Everything was perfectly routine.
He sent me and my alts a bunch of isk.
He even bought a mining stamp.
There’s a process?
What a plan.
Didn’t he already pay?
I’ve done it quite a few times.
PLOT TWIST: There is no file.
DOUBLE PLOT TWIST: No database either.
Jamie is just a working alt.
Nobody likes a space lawyer.
Another delinquent miner.
Eventually, he found me again.
I guess we can resolve this.
Sometimes, they try to negotiate.
I’m happy to explain.
Pleasure doing business…
Jormags wound up mumbling to himself in Jita.
Thanks for playing.
Scum Squad
Hey there.
Hey again.
We get around.
That’s a fack.
Miners have a lot to say.
They’ve always got an excuse.
It’s a hardknock life.
I wish them all the best.
They are a special people.
That’s right.
See what I mean?
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #248
Nobody can read it all.
An ocean of salt, decades deep.
In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.
Some people are crybabies.
I’m just a tabloid journalist, in outer space.
I’m also a social worker, and your new high princess (hi there).
By many accounts, I’m the best.
I run a real bad corp.
It’s an intergalactic cartel.
My friends are happy to help.
We go way back.
I’ll see you on the gates.
Cheerzah brav.
GF
Listening to: More Cat Sky
=Trigger Warning=
Welcome to EvE Online.
Miners never learn.
They are not so smart.
Oh well… bad fortune!
Good fight!
GHarrrhrh gaunkers!
We never forget a bad miner.
That’s right.
xD
o7
=BONUS CONTENT=
Miner Obsession, Part 3
I try my best.
However, miners get obsessed with me.
\o
o/
Hey there.
Hii.
It’s like love, but not really.
Miners aren’t even capable of love.
Ya kno?
It never really ever stops.
Valryon is a special case.
He is a bad man.
His plan is illegal, in real life.
I tried to talk about EvE Online.
He just kept simping…
haha
What a guy.
This antiganker wants to have sex with me.
Of course, he has competition.
So Valryon needed a plan.
He wants to pimp me out, at FanFest.
He wants to traffick me, in real life.
Fortunately, he won’t will mail me.
How can anyone resist?
No thanks.
That wasn’t the last message.
Ok then.
Meanwhile, in local…
I know what men want from me.
Sometimes, they aren’t even sure what I am.
They don’t seem to care.
I guess there’s an ongoing debate.
Everybody agrees on one thing.
I’m the best…
…and I have simps in EvE Online.
To be continued…
