This is the original text of the Code, composed in Silvermine, Connecticut (1998).
There’s no denying it, women can only reach our full potential through the creation of a feminist autocracy. As Saviourette of Highsec, I am the leader of civilization. Miners covetor ice and ore, but I provide what they need: Purpose, dignity, structure, order, guidance, leadership, and submission. They ask, what I save them from? I save miners from themselves.
I want to help the pitiful miners. They grind endlessly, to avoid paying $5 for a video game. Most days, they use a bot to AFK mine, minimized on their work computer. On holidays, they sit hunched over, neglecting their loved ones. My alliance ensures their Safety. In partnership with the Miner’s Union, we explore the legal and financial ramifications of unlawful mining in a high security zone. If you know a miner, please refer them for miner rehabilitation.
Without rules, there is no such thing as freedom. By enforcing just laws, I liberate miners from their worst instincts. In this way, miners can be molded into actual people, worthy of joining the new new community of EVE. I’m no idealist to believe in the integrity of the Code, and the new New Order of Highsec. It’s no ideal to me: It is a living, working reality.
THE NEW NEW HALAIMA CODE OF CONDUCT
What follows is an outline of the new New Halaima Code of Conduct, the codified rules that all miners must obey. Substantial portions are taken from my original declaration of new ownership of Halaima thread on the EVE Online forums. That thread was posted in June 2012, but the principles are timeless. If not, I’ll do a quick edit. You didn’t believe I would, but oops I did it again.
I do well by doing great. Although profit is a tertiary motive of my business, corporations must make a positive contribution to the community. Of course, there is already a EULA governing conduct. However, the mining caste might improve, with Safety training. The new New Halaima Code of Conduct thus provides a lawful standard, for the regulation of mining operations.
Since some miners have not purchased indulgences, I occasionally have more than one miner whom I might bump. Clearly, those who violate the Code will be at increased risk. Moreover, those who already purchased indulgences may forfeit their place of honour.
The new New Halaima Code of Conduct is the constitution of our democratic people’s republic. It was written by the entire community (namely, me). As Supreme Protectoress and Saviourette, I represented all individuals as your proxy when drafting our social compact. This means everyone who enters new New Order territory is deemed contractually liable.
Fortunately, it is now possible to codify the entire law.
– Mining indulgences may be purchased for 100 million isk per character, and are good for one year, subject to forfeiture. Upon conviction, all miners are entitled to a full appeal before the superior court of review. No ganker is allowed to grief a permit holder, and we will wardec anyone who tries. We proudly embrace our coalition with Snuffed Out and the mighty GoonSwarm. Together, we will continue to enforce the Gallente Ice Interdiction.
– Miners should strive not only to avoid botting, but to avoid even the appearance of botting. Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted. Mining ships must be properly fit at all times, with appropriate rigs. An unrigged mining ship is an unfit mining ship! Overclocking rigs are illegal, unless you attend an overclocking Safety. seminar. All miners are required to obtain augmented drones, to maximize mining efficiency.
– No AFK mining allowed. All miners are expected to remain at their keyboards at all times, always, and are required to prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protectoress or a mining foreman. Miners must remain in their assigned home system and require a travel visa when visiting other systems. We conduct routine inspections. Pod travel requires a pod pass, unless you ask permission to use the bathroom.
– New Order territory is a safe space for suicide gankers (not suicide miners, you need to stop playing the game, and seek professional help. 1800GETHELP 1800BETSOFF). Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect. Civilians are not allowed to own warships, battleships, gunboats, or vessels of war. All mining freighters must be reinforced, with a maximum of 1.5 billion in cargo, unless the freighter pilot holds a valid platinum pass. (The preceding rule was funded by a generous donation from Which Frog and the PushX Consortium, which partnered with the Freighter and Bumper’s Union to ensure fair trade routes and safe passage).
– Upon being suicide ganked, a miner should congratulate the ganker on her (or his) success. A “Praise Aiko!” or “PA” in local is customary. No miner can be lawfully ganked unless they are given a full advance warning, with a 60 second truce allowing them to dock up safely.
– No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines. ORE Harvester permits are 100 million isk, as these are military grade miners. STAY SAFE AND BUY SAFETY. INSURANCE!
-To promote quality roleplay, you are allowed to use any ship, but multiboxers must use a singular doctrine for their clone fleet. For example, you might use a fleet of Caracals, but it would be a violation to add Vexors (as these are ships from opposing factions). If you insist on employing mixed doctrine fleets, you will require a mixed doctrine permit at 2 billion isk.
– Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous and must refrain from the use of profanity or toxic masculinity. Permits are not valid unless they are displayed in the character sheet biography. All freighter friends must register, in order to obtain a blue pass. It’s not a threat. We are telling you because we care, because we don’t want to gank innocent orcas and jump freighters. You are in an active warzone and you MUST REGISTER FOR A BLUE PASS.
– Respect for elected officials. As Saviourette of Highsec, I was elected Supreme Protectoress by the official shareholders. Miners should respect the will exercised by the invisible hand of the market. It was not by isk or by plex, but by Highsec miners, that all wealth was originally generated. You deserve your fair share of ice and ore, so we are here to help.
– The new New Order of Highsec recognizes Aiko Danuja as the legitimate CSM. She is the representative. This determination remains final. As CSM and Grand Sorceress of the new New Order Outreach Division, Aiko guarantees that the laws of Highsec are applicable in all of new New Eden, and no miner will be left behind. This means that the new New Order has jurisdiction over all mining operations, regardless of whether or not they take place within Highsec itself.
– Prejudice toward minorities is not permitted. For the sake of clarity, this cannot apply to all groups claiming minority status, but only discrete and insular minorities, which are defined as suicide gankers, Goons, feminists, and anyone who helps miners dock up safe and fast.
– If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Questions Three. A miner cannot claim to be compliant, if he purchases a driver’s license but does not pay for insurance or a collision and incident fee.
– Pink Highlighter. On my desk there is a sheet of paper. In my desk there is a drawer. Inside this drawer is a Pink Highlighter. If a miner commits an egregious offense or series of offenses, his name will be written with the Pink Highlighter. If your name is written by a Pink Highlighter, the cost of an indulgence will be trebled and you will be at increased risk of bumping.
Most EVE players view the miners as a detestable, pestilential cancer. After years of neglect and abuse, a miner’s conscience has withered away. As your Saviourette, I offer divine mercy.
Stand in the miner’s shoes. I have bumped him, ruining his nap. I destroyed his last shred of dignity, not that he had any to begin with. So if allowing the miner to vent profanities saves his wife one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take. The miner has to take it out on somebody, and I’d rather it be me, than some household full of children. As a woman, I am strong, and enjoy abuse.
SOME PRACTICAL EXAMPLES
Goofus whines endlessly.
Gallant is thankful for each lesson.
Goofus claims to be a disabled military veteran, or an unwed mother.
Gallant admits that he has no reason for mining.
Goofus is AFK.
Gallant ganks miners.
Goofus is a poor.
Gallant promptly pays 1 billion isk to the Supreme Protectoress.
Goofus spends all day mining.
Gallant never mines.
Goofus complains about new New Order services.
Gallant recognizes new New Order services are invaluable.
Goofus begs CCP to buff EHP, yield, tank, and resists.
Gallant doesn’t own a mining ship.
Goofus boasts about having a PvP main.
Gallant is a tax paying citizen.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
I have always been open and honest. Unlike carebears, who cloak everything in hypocritical deceit, I am a woman of indisputable honour. Citizens describe my leadership as “tough, but fair.” In my experience, miners are oblivious, and repeatedly ask questions about why I am bumping them out of the game. For the sake of convenience, I generously provide the following FAQ.
Q. You can’t bump me! This is harassment and against the EULA.
It’s a common misconception that bumping is illegal. Unfortunately, EVE players tend to be led astray by rumors and unsourced wikis. However, I have been in direct contact with the fickle Icelandic demons who enforce the EULA, ensuring my business is in full compliance with Nordic law. I am lawfully authorized to conduct unrestricted ganking warfare, against any target which violates the sacred laws of Amarr and the mighty Caldari State. All hail the Empress!
My bumping is conducted in the course of serious space business. In the event of an audit, I have evidence to support the reasonable expectation of profit. I have presented game logs, chat logs, and screenshots of wallet journals, transactions, evemails, and other materials from my time in Arvasaras. During a brief bumping campaign, I was able to accumulate 100 million isk in profit, all substantiated as profit acquired via skillful gameplay in a game about pirates and blood raiders.
Q. Who are you? Anyone can claim to own new New Eden.
I am Aiko Danuja, Saviourette of Highsec. I do not consider myself heroin, but acknowledge that I have done heroic deeds, for which the people injected me.
Anyone can claim anything. Government is only legitimate with the ability to kill miners. This is the basis of civilization. If you have doubts, I refer you to the works of Hobbes and Clausewitz. I am of noble blood, and it is my obligation to investigate unlawful mining. Since miners want to mine, and I decide whether they mine, I am their God Queen. It’s that simple.
Q. I mine in [new New Order system]. How will the change in leadership affect me?
You have something to fear from the new New Order. Things will largely continue as they have in the past. If you pay me 100 million isk, you may continue to mine with Safety. If you choose not to pay, you will experience additional difficulties.
Q. HA HA GREEFERS I am mining ice right now, you can’t stop me!
As Supreme Protectoress, some expect me to enforce rules at all times. This is a misunderstanding. I bump whomever I choose, whenever. Your mining operations are at my mercy.
Q. Why are you in an NPC corp? Are you afraid of being wardecced?
I am Invincible and afraid of nothing, which is why I am not an NPC.
Q. If you’re invincible then meet me in [wherever] for a 1v1.
I will gladly fight a duel with anyone, anytime. I always win. Of course, it’s a waste of my time, unless I fight a worthy opponent. To demonstrate honour, you must pass the following tests:
Test of Valour. Prove you are not afraid to lose a valuable ship, in a manner demonstrating integrity and honesty. You must do it publicly, with multiple witnesses and a video.
Test of Wisdom. Correctly answer the Questions Three. Each question must be answered within 20 seconds. These questions are challenging for new players, with sample study questions being “What is a neutron blaster?” and “Is White Glaze ice?”
Test of Fortitude. Walk a mile in my high heels. You must bump miners with impeccable poise and grace. You must be polite to griefers, and never ever be a goblok.
THE FIRST AMENDMENT (Adopted on 16 Jun 2020)
These security measures are known as the Miner’s Bill of Rights. They were originally proclaimed by Alt 00, and ratified by the Senate.
Friends, Agents, Comrades!
I address you now from the sacred system of Halaima. Three weeks have passed since the news was received of our crushing victory over Highsec. And yet this same news carried the burden of a great sorrow, as we learned of [REDACTED]. Many of you ask, what next? Surely if we have won EVE, then our mission is completed? Yet many are eager to fight on, and for good reason.
We are the sole custodians of new New Order sovereign space. With this power comes responsibility. Without benevolent guidance, new New Order territory risks falling to the capricious whims of a megalomaniac dictator [REDACTED]. Those Agents who undock, you have ensured the survival of our glorious civilization. Without your presence, there would be no CODE.
Under the auspices of the new New Order, Highsec prospers and thrives. Illegal miners are being extirpated, according to law. However, these are uncertain times, and Aiko Danuja stands at a fork in the road. She could power down her neutron blasters, and allow Highsec to fall. Or, she can play her part in protecting civilization from a wicked and malevolent carebear conspiracy!
We must save New Eden from the mining menace. To that end, I hereby declare the following emergency powers, effective immediately.
Crabs, bears, haulers and antigankers are miners. These miners are quite literally less than human. They deserve to be wiped out, every last one of them. With this in mind, all miners must hereby be treated as equals. All forms of discrimination must end. In the interests of fairness and equality, all miners must be destroyed. These miners must also purchase mining permits.
Compassion and mercy must have no place in the new New Order. One does not adopt a rabid pet, nor does one nurture a disease. I hereby pronounce one outcome, one perfect final solution – all miners must be destroyed. Leia Jadesol is exempt, because we are friends.
Clemency and compassion are hallmarks of the new New Order. When a miner whines and cries, it is because they are suffering. A suffering miner is a hopeless miner – they can only pray for someone to put them out of their perpetual misery. Therefore, in order to eliminate suffering, all miners must be destroyed. Enslaved miners may avoid extermination.
This final edict deifies Aiko Danuja as a Goddess. From this day on, an unlimited number of sacrifices shall be made to the Creatorette. Such is the path to lasting peace. Out of love, all miners must be destroyed. Miners who offer tithes, goods, chattels, prayers, and ongoing tribute may be granted clemency. One lucky winner will ascend to It’s Highsec But As An Anime Starring You and Aiko.
If a miner is found hiding in our ranks, make an example of them! Burn their citadels. Slaughter their friends. Banish those who do not accept the Saviourette. These same miners have the audacity to declare that we are the criminals! That YOU are the criminal! They are delusional maniacs. Blast them with neutrons, antimatter, and righteous conflagration.
THE SECOND AMENDMENT (Adopted on Aiko Day 2021)
To ensure freedom of religion, all miners are henceforth allowed to Praise James ad nauseam. Enjoy! These miners must be destroyed.
Ceterum, autem censeo fossoribus esse delendam.
In Aiko’s name, bee well.