This is the original text of the Code, composed in Silvermine, Connecticut (2009).
There’s no denying it, women can only reach our full potential through the creation of a feminist autocracy. As Saviourette of Highsec, I am the leader of civilization. Miners may say they come for ice and ore, but I give them what they really need: Purpose, dignity, structure, order, guidance, leadership, and submission. They ask what I am “saving” them from. I save the miners from themselves.
Without rules, there is no such thing as freedom. By enforcing a system of just laws, I give miners liberation from their own worst instincts. In this way, miners can be molded into actual people, the kind worthy of joining the new new community of EVE. I’m no idealist to believe in the integrity of the Code, and the new New Order of Highsec. It’s no ideal to me: It is a living, working reality.
What follows is an outline of the new New Halaima Code of Conduct, the codified set of rules that all miners in new New Order territories must obey. Substantial portions are taken from my original declaration of new ownership of Halaima thread on the EVE Online forums. That thread was posted back in June 2012, but all of the principles are timeless. If not, I’ll do a quick edit. You didn’t believe I’d do that, but I did.
THE NEW NEW HALAIMA CODE OF CONDUCT
I do well by doing well. Although profit is a secondary motive of my business, I believe corporations should make a positive contribution to the community. Of course, there is already a EULA that governs player conduct, but I wish miners were of a higher caliber. Frankly, the mining caste could become better, if held to a higher standard. The new New Halaima Code of Conduct provides that gold standard.
Since some miners have not purchased indulgences, I will occasionally have more than one miner whom I could bump. So how should I prioritize? Those who violate the Code will be at increased risk. Moreover, those who already purchased indulgences may forfeit their place of honour, if they violate my Code.
The new New Halaima Code of Conduct is the constitutional product of a truly democratic process. It was written by the entire community (namely, me). As Supreme Protectoress of Halaima and Saviourette of Highsec, I represent all of the individuals and acted as your proxy when drafting our social compact. This means that everyone who enters new New Order territory is deemed to have agreed to my terms.
Since the Code is a living, breathing document, it’s not possible to codify the law. Here are some illustrative examples:
– Mining indulgences may be purchased for 100 million isk per character, and are good for one year, subject to forfeiture.
– Miners should strive not only to avoid botting, but to avoid even the appearance of botting. Bot-aspirant behavior is not permitted.
– No AFK mining allowed. All miners are expected to remain at their keyboards at all times, and are required to prove their presence by responding in local when requested by the Supreme Protectoress or one of her Agents.
– New Order territory is a safe space for suicide gankers. Miners are required to put aside their prejudices and treat gankers with respect. Civilians are not allowed to own warships, battleships, gunboats, or vessels of war.
– Upon being suicide ganked, a miner should congratulate the ganker on his (or her) success. A “Praise Aiko!” or “PA” in local is customary.
– No excessive mining. Miners should not fall into a routine of mining all day. I want well-rounded people in my system, not ice-mining machines.
– Keep local clean. Miners should be courteous and should refrain from the use of profanity or toxic masculinity.
– Respect for elected officials. As Saviourette of Highsec, I was elected Supreme Protectoress by the official shareholders. Miners should respect the will exercised by the invisible hand of the market.
– The new New Order of Highsec continues to recognize Aiko Danuja as the legitimate CSM. She is the only official representative. This determination remains the rule in all territories.
– Prejudice toward minorities is not permitted. For the sake of clarity, this cannot apply to all groups claiming minority status, but only discrete and insular minorities, which are defined as suicide gankers, Goons, feminists, and others who oppose Highsec mining.
– If a miner does not wish to purchase a mining indulgence, he may still be granted a one-day reprieve, if he is able to correctly answer the Questions Three.
– Pink Highlighter. On my desk there is a sheet of paper. In my desk there is a drawer. Inside this drawer is a Pink Highlighter. If a miner commits an egregious offense or series of offenses, his name will be written with the Pink Highlighter. If your name is written by a Pink Highlighter, the cost of an indulgence will be trebled and you will be at increased risk of bumping.
Most EVE players view the miners as a detestable, pestilential cancer. After years of neglect and abuse, a miner’s conscience has often withered away. However, as your Saviourette, I often perform acts of divine mercy.
See if you can stand in the miner’s shoes. I have bumped him, ruining his mining op. I destroyed his last shred of dignity, not that he had any to begin with. So if allowing the miner to vent profanities saves his wife one extra beating, that’s something I’ll gladly take. The miner has to take it out on somebody, and I’d rather it be me, than some household full of children. As a woman, I am strong, and I can take abuse.
SOME PRACTICAL EXAMPLES
Goofus whines endlessly.
Gallant is thankful for each lesson.
Goofus claims to be a disabled military veteran, or a single mother.
Gallant admits that he has no good reason for mining.
Goofus makes up excuses for being AFK.
Gallant always remains at his keyboard.
Goofus is a poor.
Gallant promptly pays 1 billion isk to the Supreme Protectoress of Halaima.
Goofus spends all day mining.
Gallant never mines.
Goofus complains about the cost of new New Order services.
Gallant recognizes that new New Order services are invaluable.
Goofus begs CCP to buff his mining ship’s EHP.
Gallant doesn’t own a mining ship.
Goofus boasts about having important alts.
Gallant recognizes his place is at the bottom.
THE NEW NEW ORDER – FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
I have always been open and honest. Unlike carebears, who cloak everything in perpetual hypocrisy and deceit, I am a woman of indisputable honour. Consequently, citizens describe my leadership as “tough, but fair.” In my experience, miners are completely oblivious, and repeatedly ask the same questions about why I am bumping them out of the game. For the sake of convenience, I generously provide the following FAQ.
Q. You can’t bump me! This is harassment and against the EULA.
It’s a common misconception that bumping is illegal. Unfortunately, EVE players tend to be led astray by rumors and unsourced wikis. However, I have been in direct contact with the fickle Icelandic demons who enforce the EULA, to ensure that my business is in full compliance with Nordic law.
My bumping is an activity conducted in the course of serious space business. In the event of an audit, I have ample evidence to support the reasonable expectation of profit. Prior to this announcement, I gathered game logs, chat logs, and screenshots of wallet journals, transactions, evemails, and other materials from my time in Arvasaras. During my brief bumping campaign there, I was able to accumulate over 100 million isk in profit, all of which is fully substantiated by the aforementioned evidence.
Q. Who are you? Anyone can claim to own new New Eden.
I am Aiko Danuja, the Saviourette of Highsec. I do not consider myself heroin, but I acknowledge that I have done many great and heroic deeds, and I accept that others think that I am the Heroin of Highsec.
It’s true that anyone can claim anything. However, a government is only legitimate if it has the ability to kill miners. This is the basis of civilization. Indeed, I can kill miners whenever I want. Since the miners want to mine, and since I alone decide whether they can, I am their God Queen. It’s really that simple.
Q. I mine ice in [new New Order system]. How will the change in leadership affect me?
You have nothing to fear from the new New Order. Things will largely continue as they have in the past. If you pay me 100 million isk, you can continue to mine with Safety. If you choose not to pay, you may experience some difficulty.
Q. HA HA I am mining ice right now, you can’t stop me!
As Supreme Protectoress, some may expect me to enforce the rules at all times. This is a misperception of my role. I will bump whomever I choose, whenever I choose. Your mining operations are entirely at my mercy.
Q. Why are you in an NPC corp? Are you afraid of being wardecced?
I am Invincible and afraid of nothing, which is why I am not an NPC.
Q. If you’re invincible then meet me in [wherever] for a 1v1.
I will gladly fight a duel with anyone, anytime, anywhere. I will always win. Of course, it’s a waste of my time, unless I fight a worthy opponent. To demonstrate your honour, you must pass the following tests:
Test of Valour. Prove you are not afraid to lose a valuable ship, in a manner demonstrating integrity and honesty.
Test of Wisdom. Correctly answer the Questions Three. Each question must be answered within 20 seconds.
Test of Fortitude. Walk a mile in my high heels. You must bump miners with impeccable poise and grace.
The First Amendment (Adopted on 16 Jun 2020)
Friends, Agents, Comrades!
I address you now from the sacred system of Halaima. Three weeks have passed since the news was received of our crushing victory over Highsec. And yet this same news carried the burden of a great sorrow, as we learned of [REDACTED]. Many of you ask, what next? Surely if we have won EVE, then our mission is completed? Yet many are eager to fight on, and for good reason.
We are now the sole custodians of new New Order sovereign space. With this power comes great responsibility. For without benevolent guidance, new New Order territory risks falling to the capricious whims of an unhinged, megalomaniac dictator. Those Agents who bravely undock, you have ensured the continued survival of our glorious civilization. Without your presence, there would be no CODE.
Under the auspices of the new New Order, Highsec continues to prosper and thrive. Illegal miners are being extirpated, according to the law. However, these are uncertain times, and Aiko Danuja stands at a fork in the road. She could power down her neutron blasters, and allow Highsec to fall. Or, she can play her part in protecting our civilization from a wicked and malevolent carebear conspiracy!
We must save New Eden from the mining menace. To that end, I hereby declare the following emergency powers, effective immediately.
It is a well documented fact that mission runners, haulers and anti-gankers are closeted miners. The miners are quite literally less than human. They deserve to be wiped out, every last one of them. With this in mind, all miners must hereby be treated as equals. All forms of discrimination must end. In the interests of fairness and equality, all miners must be destroyed. These miners must also purchase mining permits.
Compassion and mercy, towards miners, must have no place in the new New Order. One does not adopt a rabid pet, nor does one nurture an infectious disease. And thus I hereby pronounce one outcome, one perfect final solution – all miners must be destroyed. Leia Jadesol is exempt, because we are friends.
Clemency and compassion are hallmarks of the new New Order. When a miner sheds a tear, it is because they are suffering. A suffering miner is a hopeless miner – they can only pray for someone to put them out of their perpetual misery. Therefore, in order to eliminate suffering, all miners must be destroyed. Enslaved miners may avoid extermination.
This final edict deifies Aiko Danuja as a Goddess. From this day on, an unlimited number of sacrifices shall be made to the Creatorette. Such is the path to lasting peace. Out of love, all miners must be destroyed. Miners who offer tithes, goods, chattels, prayers, and ongoing tribute may be granted clemency.
If a miner is found hiding in our ranks, make an example of them! Burn their citadels. Slaughter their friends. Banish those who do not accept the Saviourette. These same miners have the audacity to declare that we are the criminals! That YOU are the criminal! They are delusional maniacs. Strip them of their neutrons.
Ceterum, autem censeo fossoribus esse delendam.
In Aiko’s name, be well.