The Conference Elite

Guest Author
Tweeps (aka John E Normus)

Hello there.

I didn’t see you come in.

As you can see, the CODE. alliance was never more than a facade, built upon the mighty Conference Elite. A galactic alliance is nothing without TCE, and that’s an undeniable fact.

As the heiress of both James 315 and loyalanon, I now command the ship of state. Of course, wannabe orbiter plebs insist I never received a sacrosanct blessing, as if I need one.

Seems legit?

If James did not choose me – who did? It is one thing to be annointed, but if I crowned myself, then I am even more powerful. If James were invincible, I must be omnipotent!

After seizing command of TCE, I have delegated authority to my trusty lesbian sidekick, Alleil Pollard. Henceforth, as acting executor, Alleil will oversee the Byzantine bureaucracy.

Of course, the miners inevitably write me.

As you know, we are a PROUD antiganking guild.

I hope Alleil can keep up with the daily correspondence.

Good luck Alleil!

Bee well!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #241

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #240

Yesterday was the end of an era.

Fortunately, I’ve got the awesome essentials right here.

Ganking is griefing, so I deserve abuse — right?

Awww, that’s so romantic!

Another IRL threat that CCP gameminers will blame on me.

I thought the story of Olanlee Andrews couldn’t get crazier. However, it appears GM IceCream doesn’t do basic fact checking. He sent ban warnings to people who didn’t gank Olanlee, but never bothered to check the killboard or contact anyone who was involved. I’m sorry, but that’s just lazy (and unprofessional).

Assette Pellion has a warning for Big Willies PVP Madness.

Elisabeth Canary still wants to buy those Harvester drones.

I love to help!

Camelot2010 apparently lost a ship.

7o capsuper!

Racist moon miner MOONWIBE was just roleplaying.

Plagiominer Atima Avada isn’t scared.

Sometimes my alts get emails.

Miners just want a square deal.

Are they sain or insain?

This wasn’t her first arrest…

Wutevz. Bye, ttyl.

Ok, one more.

I wonder where his ship went?

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #240

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #239

Oh my…


all you understand grab fool play bitch i didn’t touch you what sticks fall off assholes let play norms go other fuck though you are cowards you current retras and orcs uncut and can clap but before the norms of the pvpeshniki suck

In Highsec, freighters are free!

LOKAsmodeus lost a capsule…

Sargon has been selling station permits.


Also, I’m super cute!

My blog is the best.




Writing Jesus

Imitation is the most sincere flattery.

I’m cool, and so are my alts.

I’m the best ganker, and Australian Jesus is the best scout.

Everybody loves me and mine.

Even Russians want to be friends.

I dunno if it’s gonna work out.

There’s only one solution.

They need Jesus to find them.

They want it bad.

What happens next?

Miners gonna get SAFED!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #239

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #238

Oh man, this miner got me.

I had a hunch, they’ve read my blog.

 I wonder if I ganked Vily Villy.

Believe it, or not. Some people like the blog.

I’m always happy to hear from my friends.

I also like to hear from my enemies.

They are absolute losers.

I love killing plebs.

I don’t gank for isk esk.

Here’s a piece of salt.

This is the correct way to get on my blog (hint: I don’t like Discord).

Some people get it.

Some people don’t!

Here’s a random mail from the other grab bag (yes, there’s more than one).

I don’t have time for this shit.

I’m the best ganker in the history of EvE Online.

Ok, one more.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #238

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #237

Well, let’s see what the miners have to say.

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is a great corporation for newbro miners!

Kimberly Duskwolf declared an end to ganking in Oiniken.

This lasted nearly two minutes.

Oh man, more Ward nonsense?

Woah, I never even knew this email existed.

Ahahaha, op success! Victory!

Even antigankers are impressed by my leadership.

Every sane rational person loves me.

Haha, not today miner!

Yes, I’m a lesbian, and I’m gonna kill you.

If you want to gank, you should probably shoot a Venture…

Newbro starter tornadoes are 30 million isk each!

I just want to make a positive difference in EvE Online.

I love my friends.

Ok, gotta go!

Haha, you guys….

It’s just a joke, right?

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #236

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #235

Miners are always looking for a good deal.

They sure got a lot to say.

What is wrong with them?

Evan got banned for calling someone a shit beta, and implying they eat fuck rice. That’s pretty salty, not gonna lie, but why does CCP intervene? The salt is amusing, not offensive, and nobody should get banned for making us laugh. 

We don’t play EVE for the terrible UI, glitchy mechanics, uninspiring graphics, or tedious grinding. We only log in for the engaging drama.

Only loosers and lossers report salt to CCP.

I didn’t vote for Trump (or Hillary), and I would have voted to impeach, but I don’t want to purge all the politically incorrect players. Let’s not cater to hypersensitive snowflakes, who seek to water this game down.

I enjoy a little “locker room” talk.

I love the passion.

I’ve got no issue with rice eaters, I’m one too. In fact, Evan is half Japanese, so it’s racist to call him racist for calling you a rice eater. Someone in London (or Iceland) banned an Asian, claiming he was racist against Asians – that’s reverse racism.

This is an international game, so let’s embrace xenophobia.

Maybe, if miners can work out their anger-management issues in EVE Online, then they won’t beat their wife in real-life.