Highsec Miner Grab Bag #224

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #223

Highsec miners are just innocent noobs, right?

I don’t think so…


James used to do kills of the week, as part of his daily grind, but whatevs. As you can see, my sexy alliance is one of the most powerful forces in the galaxy, whereas the once mighty CODE. alliance has withered like a neglected fern. Even Elise Randolph, the Pandemic Whore, acknowledges my divine glory.

It sucks to think about CODE, but don’t blame me. I’m not the one who refused to tend the garden. Hey, if your stagnant aquarium is covered in mildew and slime, with black mold everywhere, then it’s time to drain the swamp. Sad! 

Now that we have put the old gods out to pasture, we are free to innovate and try things which were once sacrilegious, resulting in a permanent ban from the minerbumping channel. For example, Sargon invented Miner Bingo: Yahtzee Arena. If you can get seven (7) bingos in a row, you can take me on a date. Wink! Super gankbears might scowl and grumble, but they can’t stop us from having fun!

I did it! James went AFK, and I enforced the law, as he would have wanted.

Good for me. I’m having a blast.  

Like, hello?

What did he expect us to do?

Everybody just wants to have a good time.

I am here to help.


3footninja65 A is a notorious botbear, with way too many mining ships. When I won the Third Great CODE. Civil War, he tagged along. Why does he mine so much? Mr Cheng’s video is way too long, but the first five minutes are great. At least wait for Mr. A to start rapping. Haha. Bro.

Fuck #4

Fuck #3

The miners have a lot to say.

Sometimes, they are more concise.

It’s not very hard to understand.

They want to do things their own way.

Unfortunately, they don’t have much luck.

They seem to be stuck, repeating the same basic patterns.

What does it all mean?

I don’t think they are calm.

They don’t seem to like us.

They don’t seem to like me.

I don’t like them much either.

They are crazy!

They’ve always been crazy.

Nobody likes a miner.








Highsec Miner Grab Bag #223

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #222

\o Hello friends.

Miners write the darndest things.

They aren’t especially intelligent.

However, they should at least be polite.

I enjoy receiving fan mail.

I especially like poems.

Unfortunately, some miners aren’t very nice.

Crabs are kind of mean.

I don’t even mine in Highsec, have you seen any Highsec miner with omber crystal? Is your brain filled with dog shit? I was just going back to Jita. I wish your mom to die at Christmas.

5pm, tommorrow, you can go check yOur mom’s grave. I wish your entire family to celebrate Christmas one hundred times, in hell. You will get cancer and your grave will be a great place.

Mining seems really boring.

I just want them to purchase their permit.

It’s also helpful when they clear our kill rights.


They help us, and we help them.

Silly miners, they’ve been upset a long time.

I’m just glad to know, they love their Princess.

Aiko Danuja, a healthy mare.



Highsec Miner Grab Bag #222

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #221

That’s right.

Let’s check out what the miners have been writing.

They are generally poor sports.

Crabs need help composing credible threats, with proper spelling and punctuation.

Remember kids, MINER stands for Moron in New Eden REEEEEee!

They really just don’t understand.

Carebears seem utterly confused.

Gobloks have no idea.

We are never going to stop.

Some people say that James is dead and gone forever.

However, always means always.


So, you know what I’m gonna do?

I’m gonna kill all these bears.

I’m definitely a

You know it’s true.



Fuck! #3

Previously, in James 315 Space, miners learned a new word.

Sometimes, they can’t spell it.

Regardless, they love to use it.

They know exactly what it means.

It has something to do with sex.

It also has something to do with me.

I think they want to fuck me.

Oh yah, they want it so bad.

Some miners even like my mouth.

I like it too!

They also want to fuck my friends.

I’m so glad the miners are content.

Such happy little bears.

They are even learning other languages.

“Go fuck morons, frostbitten!”

“Asshole, fuckers!”

“Fuck you, pindos!”

They sure are learning a lot!

I’m glad we met…

…and got to know one another!



Marbhadh na Seachdain

Here are some mathain, defeated between November 22 @ 00:00 and November 28 @ 23:59.


Direwolf2000 thought he could pick a scary name, and use an innocent looking Orca to smuggle a Hel blueprint through Uedama. However, Dolphin Don and Nitetime Video weren’t afraid of the big bad wolf.


Klorel Hakaari decided to fly another Hecate, directly against the North Wind. I don’t know who is coming up with these zany doctrines, but they are stupid.


Antiganking goofus Alice Blacktail also had a cunning plan. She fitted her Venture with green stuff, and patiently waited in the belt. She didn’t have to wait long, and Alleil Pollard dropped in for a quick chat. Afterward, Alice gloated in public, because she ‘killed’ Alleil. What a dummy dumdum!


Xrea Nefarious didn’t want to fly his battleship in Highsec, where evil ganker griefers might extirpate him, so he went into hiding. However, IllumuIll Estemaire and Celedion Warseraph found him in the Vale of the Silent. Killboard awarded them each 94 points, so it was a fair fight. No blobbery here!


Catalyst Jhonson 1 was happily mining in her Vindicator, when she encountered a real Catalyst. Unfortunately, her head was full of junk, and she died. Sad!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #221

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #220

Hello friends.

Miners truly appreciate our hard work.

You can tell by how not upset they are.

At lot of people think I’m the best. I can agree with that.

“You stupid European bitch, brains in your skull like a mosquito fucked, such scum as you are better to destroy in the womb, for more than sitting fucking in your isolated barn and poking at the buttons of the mind is not enough.”

I’m a Lady, and miners love my content.

Some of them don’t seem very sensible.

However, I’m sure they learnt an important lesson.

At the very least, they seem to enjoy mining, and reading my blog.

They can tell I’m a nice girl, and they’d like to meet my mother.

“I’m going to shit on your fucking mother, fill the cone with worms like your son of a thousand parents, I hope you die of AIDS, you and all your fucking chestnut, disgusting daughter.”

I know what these bears really need.

I want to make them happy.

They are gonna get a whole lot of it.

Every goblok is gonna get just exactly what they deserve.

It’s gonna be fun!

Everybody is gonna have a great time.

I guess some things never change.



What About MinerBumping?

A lot of people have been wondering.

Perhaps, you noticed the old MinerBumping channel seems small, empty, and filled with dusty cobwebs. Frankly, James 315 doesn’t care about that channel. It’s dead to him. It’s dead to me. It’s dead to us. We are now well into the Jamespocalypse, so antiganking spammers are free to enjoy that channel’s utter lack of moderation.

It’s not the first time James has switched channels. I should know!

The New Order is not stagnant, and we have moved on to the promised channel of milk and honey. Here, we have our very own Princess.

Indeed, James prefers his new channel, Why Was I Ganked?

He endorsed it. It’s official.

It also poses a great question.

Did you really think James forgot about the miners?

Somehow, I know exactly what he wants.

The old channel served a purpose, once upon a time. However, it also encouraged stale repetition, docked up sycophancy, and cringy roleplay. Gankers squabbled over who is most beloved by James, and who is the true heir (or heiress?) to the ice throne. In stark contrast, the new channel leaves no room for doubt, with stimulating discussion on a pertinent topic. It’s more focused, and better moderated, for our strategic purposes.

Of course, by now, everyone knows about James and Aiko.

Some people just have it all backwards.

Regardless, our new channel is the perfect place to meet dead miners…

…and listen to their endless praise.

Meanwhile, we intend to kill the bears…

…and bring them to justice.

We can help them. We will save them.

It’s what James told me to do.

He made me your Saviourette (yours and yours).

He even taught me how to make a website.

I’m doing a pretty good job. Outstanding!

The diggers are starting to understand why I’m here.

They know what I bring to the table.

Oh boy, there’s a content train a’comin.

Choo! Choo!








Highsec Miner Grab Bag #220

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #219

Miners appreciate our hard work.

They know we are elite.

A few miners are cry babies.

Some try to act tough.

Others attempt to negotiate.

Everybody loves a good space lawyer.

Miners need counsel.

We are always polite…

…and here to help.




Fuck! #2

Fuck! #1

I woke up, admiring my long legs, in a beam of Uedama sunlight. Jason Kusion poured me a nice cool glass of cucumber water, “Hello, beautiful!” Dolphin Don chimed in, “Good morning, Princess.” Krig added, “Hey, baby.” It was the start of another great day, but I wasn’t sure what to put in my awesome award-winning blog. I undocked in my beloved pink Catalyst, which has 3887 killmarks, and reclined in my premium pod goo. Finally, I checked my email, and realized exactly what I want to do.

This is some unknown indecipherable sub-dialect of… Cebuano?

Yes, beautiful Cebuano, the language of Vasaya.

I think I know what he means…

The poor fellow lost a Venture.

Jump. Jump. Jump.

Jump. Jump. Jump.

Primary is the Providence.


Shoot on landing.