The Weather – ‎James 315 Space

All Quiet in Uedama

Listening to: The World Ends

INTERVIEW WITH A MINER

Earn Aiko Points

Gyatt Festival, Dodixie Federal Test Center – Stardate 23360

System: Misneden

Today, I am nullifying all outstanding New Order shares. They no longer have any value whatsoever. For those who donated, I say “Thanks for the free isk, bro.” So now what?

You must pay again!

Highsec deserves better. Since I always be best, I am perfectly positioned to provide points for every citizen of Aikospace, ensuring isk flows for eternity. Even a bearpleb can succeed through my grace. In ganking,you can and will be saved.

I am pleased Aiko Points are available for merely 1 billion isk. Each capsuleer must purchase as many points as they can, in addition to the requisite mining permits, travel visas, and/or blue passes. To encourage you in this quest, bonus points will be awarded at the following tiers: 5 billion, 20 billion, 100 billion, 315 billion, 1 trillion, and 5 trillion. Furthermore, a very special reward will be offered to each shareholder who is the first to claim a bonus tier, and annual shareholder parties will celebrate the most generous supporters of Highsec ganking.

In fact, I have decided the ultimate second-place in EvE Online will be whomsoever sends the most isk. I ask, “How much isk do you have, and why?” This is your chance to find out. Unlike you, I guarantee that all isk will be used for ganking. Now that’s a square deal!

ISK, assets, skill points, shares, and PLEX can always be sent to Aiko Danuja, to finance Aiko points. Every purchase will be formally acknowledged, solemnly honoured, and joyously commemorated on the brand new leaderboard, which I will update once I am done investing your isk. This is all outlined in my original shareholder agreement, as codified by myself. That’s reasonable and fair.

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 47

Listening to: Tunnel Snakes Rule!

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Mission Ready Mining (aka Fly Fearless) was not ready.

Years ago, Kalongned wrote a brief recap.

He wrote this back when I was busy euthanizing CODE.

After fleeing to Uemiseisen, the miners were still not ready.

Fortunately, an elite Assistance Group was deployed.

The AG team loves helping miners get ready!

In particular, they train miners to fight the Tunnel Snake Empire.

My alliance URL honors their experience, with a URL.

I also enjoy cybersex.

AG instructors would bump miners, during simulated Snake attacks.

Mission Ready Mining thus enjoyed a free Platinum training regimen.

This came with easy to understand audio instructions.

Miner bootcamp would continue indefinitely, and could only be terminated via payment of a modest cancellation fee.

Tunnel Snakes bump, gank, and wardec miners in Highsec. They tend to be rude to everyone, and spend much of their time cussing in local. Tunnel Snake sympathizers are also known to use vulgar language.

Meanwhile, local chat was continuously filled with fascinating factoids.

Founded in 2017, Assistance Group is a group of Trainers who are dedicated to defending Highsec. Assistance Group provides the expertise and support Highsec miners need to defend themselves against the Tunnel Snake menace.

The Tunnel Snakes have a number of corporations under their direct/indirect control. More specific intel on Tunnel Snakes and/or their affiliated organizations is only available to Class B or higher Trainers.

BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR: Individuals with the words ‘Tunnel Snake’ in player biographies, ship names, corporation names, etc. Class B and above Trainers can report Tunnel Snake activity in our invite-only intel channel.

Assistance Group’s hands on approach to training gives Highsec miners the edge they need to rid Highsec the Tunnel Snake menace. This means defeating not only the Tunnel Snakes, but their sympathizers and puppets as well.

Assistance Group Trainers provide our Highsec partners with a variety of exciting training opportunities, including: bumping, ganking, and more. This training prepares our partners for the tactics employed by our shared enemy.

Trainers work alone or in groups, Trainers can be found in icebelts and other areas designated as ‘training grids’, Not all training sessions are announced; many trainers consider any grid they occupy to be a training grid.

By November, the ‘Fly Fearless’ alliance was afraid.

In order to address this, live fire exercises began.

Many many miners were tested, and all were unready.

War was imminent!

As trainers, Kalorned and Tweeps listened to Fly Fearless comms.

This was most instructive.

To be continued…

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 46

Code Ready Gelhan, Part 1

Previously, on some blog…

Kalorne and Tweeps defeated Mission Ready Mining.

Before Silent Company and Absolute Order, there was Fly Fearless.

Even today, the alliance boasts thousands of uninstalled new players.

In April 2017, they fled Gelhan, migrating to sunny Uemisaisen.

Mission ‘Ready’ miners were not happy to see Kalorndo.

Next door to Isanamo, Uemisaisen is a safe space for mining.

The miners were praying for CCP intervention.

Otherwise, a fleet of Machariels would permabump their miners.

To be continued…

Get Mined

Welcome to EvE Online.

It’s a fun little game.

We all share the same space, together.

Some of us are perfect in every way.

Some of us are not.

Some of us are famous.

Some of us are not.

Miners gonna mine (and get mined on).

Carebear Ganking

Listening to: Cleopatra Synthwave

What happened?

Meanwhile, in sunny Ansila…

Brrr

It’s cold out there!

What happened?

Neospace

If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.

Neopets are like furries, but for children.

I wonder how that upgrade went?

With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.

You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!

Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.

The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.

Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.

She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.

I guess numbers are important after all?

So she started bullying me.

This was one uppity miner.

James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!

Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.

We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.

An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon ~~Dodixie~~ Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.
Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to ~~James~~ Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously ~~masturbating~~ perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.