Listening to: Shadow Hunter

Oh hi, ya, I live here.

Sort of like a place you might expect me.

This is what GPT says we do.

#1 alltime destroyer/battlecruiser/bomber ALLTIME CHAMPIONS

PewPEWpew – heavy flak from barski

Now that’s REAL PvP.

I’ll add him to the list.

2+8+3=1 Dead Orca

It’s never too late to repent.

They wonder why we gank them…


In thirteen plus one day…


4.91 = 4 + 9 + 1 = 13 + 1

4 + 2 + 2 + 2 + 4 = 13 + 1

We caught a war criminal, in EvE Online.

Absolute Matrix

Governor Lee tried to annex Lonetrek (again).

Not on my watch!

The absolute plebs are on my list.

That’s right.

They are bad at mining, ganking, and antiganking.

In EvE Online, miners be crazy.

Get blocked!

Like seriously.

Welcome to the Absolute Matrix.

It’s full of trash.

They are never calm.

In EvE Online, we pick our own fights.

Who will Absolute Order send against me?

I sure hope they figure it out.


Every miner must obey the law.

That’s right.

Absolute Pleb

It’s not griefing, when you are sincerely salty.

Losers can say whatever they want in EvE Online.

Eventually, he found me.

Gankers have to follow CCP’s EULA.

Crybabies enjoy free speech.

What a guy.

He’s absolutely salty.

This went on for a few days.

Meanwhile, the Absolute Pleb discord had a laugh.

It’s not harassment, when you are bad at EvE Online.

This is what antigankers do.

That’s appropriate language for a miner.

Let’s see what else he had to say.

PLOT TWIST: He likes me more than you)))))) xD

Miners can use all the bad words.

PLOT TWIST: He has a crush on me.

What a classy guy.

I have a solution for miners like him.

There’s your warning, buddy.

PLOT TWIST: Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Welcome to reality, little guy.

That’s right.

Antiganking Saltopia


People notice me.

Hey there!


Antiganking miners say whatever they want.

Oh, I love it, thanks for asking.

Only gankers have to follow the EULA.

It’s ok, you can cry all day in EvE Online.

It’s not griefing, when you are salty.

It’s not harassment, if you are a whinebaby.

That’s right.

Cool story bro.

Nobody likes an antiganking miner.


Avalanche Down (2x)

Previously, the Avalanche was overpowered

However, today we made history.

So yah, I logged into EvE Online…

Antigankers were already waiting.

They are kinda dumb.

Today, we are fishing in Uedama.

Hey there.

Great teamwork.

Op success.

Another fake gank.

That’s right.

Later that day…




The Brisc Rubal Home for Hot Unwed Mothers


Highsec Miner Grab Bag #245

Listening to: Zoot Suit Riot

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #244

Miners love to write.


What a guy.


I hope they feel better soon.

Miners are always poor…

…and more than a little dim.


At least they are happy.

I know how to have fun.

You love it, daddy-o.

That’s right!

Tell me more?

Fat Cat Came to Play
Now You Can’t Run Fast Enough
You Best Stay Away
When the Pushers Come to Shove

Throw back a bottle of beer
I have coal black hair

Guide to Absolute Victory

Guest Article

Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.

Aiko made a map.

There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.

*Facts and Evidence*

The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.

We hate Romania, so we started bumping.

Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?

Just think about it.

Burn Jita!

Well, tornado season is finally over.

Oh nice, coercers are coming back.

Wait, what?

So it’s a battleship, and a freighter. Does it also mine?

Yep, it’s a carebear ship…

Everybody values ganking, but…

The losers also want to be invincible.

They don’t like PvP.

They only want infinite hitpoints.

Ganking is just too easy!

Garrr, guankers, hathathat.

Every impotent miner yearns for revenge.

Unfortunately, for bears, not everyone agrees.

Miners are bad at economics.

Most people are idiots.

Here’s how we will respond.

We’ll just haul for free, with AFK and autopilot.

PushX and Red Frog will go out of business.

Yah, for real.

Take that ship to lowsec.

Bro, it’s just broken.