Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
My name is Aiko Danuja.
Everybody thinks I’m great.
Objectively, I’m the best player in the history of EvE Online.
I was voted “coolest hottest best of the best”!
I also made an elite top tier PvP alliance!
That’s right.
Just read these customer testimonials!
That’s right!
Many miners purchase multiple permits!
I think it’s kinda funny…
o7 capsuleers!
Listening to: High-Sex Assassin
Do mining permits work?
Of course…
Mining permits are on sale now!
That’s right.
Make sure to obey the LAW!
o7 capsuleers…
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
=POINT AND COUNTERPOINT=
Miners notice me.
I’m a legend in my own time.
They often have something to say.
Sometimes, they are less philosophical.
I always tell them to buy a permit.
I think they like me.
I consider them fans.
That’s right.
That’s not right.
Welcome to EvE Online!
…but wait, there’s more.
I will always be me.
Here is some wisdom.
Miners are idiots.
o7 capsuleers!
Hey there…
Recently, CCP gave me an official new title!
Isn’t that special?
Now I’m a real pirate princess!
That’s right..
It’s that special time again.
Miners love to write letters.
Some write more than others.
They are such losers.
They are notorious anti-Semites.
They are also sexist.
Why do you think we gank them?
That’s right.
That’s right!
o7 capsuleers…
TRIGGER WARNING: EvE Online
Recently, we encountered an observer.
Catalina Asanari had something to say.
We’ve heard this before!
It never gets old…
I encouraged her to calm down.
Local chat thought she was hyperbolic.
Catalina Asanari > you gonna come to null???
Catalina Asanari > id love to find you there.. lol
Cassian Vale > now you’re just getting desperate
Aiko Danuja > Why dont you just try a permit?
Catalina Asanari > the devs never put it in the game .
Admiral Jackson Wolfe > Hi Aiko Danuja
Monika Hrastin > this is like when my parents got home and started yelling at each other 🙁
Yes Mr Cheng > i wish my parents would come home
I tried to just keep it real.
However, Catalina kept doubling down on negativity.
She poured out endless salt.
I believe in quality over quantity.
Catalina believes in sheer vitriol.
What if we reversed roles?
When you think about it, I’m not so bad.
She was as bad as that other guy!
Catalina wanted me outOUTout.
Eventually, I ganked something in the adjacent system.
Catalina wasn’t happy when I came back.
Apparently, I’ve met Catalina before (but I don’t remember)…
She kept crying for a full week.
That’s kind of crazy!
Eventually, she suggested I commit suicide.
That’s right.
We interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a post of supreme importance.
Everybody loves Aiko.
People are starting to understand.
I’m the best!
That’s right.
So today, we celebrate Aiko Day.
Everybody is feeling that Aiko spirit.
It’s a real holiday.
On the first Aiko Day, I declared war upon the Minnies.
By the second Aiko Day, I had my first nightmare!
James 315 subsequently declared this to be a state holiday.
He used this time to reflect upon the future of warfare.
As a prophet of Aiko, James foresaw the future.
This was a rather long essay…
Some people say James liked to get really high.
I certainly do!
Well, that concludes our Aiko Day festivities.
That’s right!
TITUS8 > frankes being a major asshole
The boys were fighting again.
What happened?
Two miners, one belt…
TITUS8 > Frank vanWulfen you are so emotional
Frank vanWulfen > TITUS8 are you fear any Bumper or why are you need 2 Orcas?
TITUS8 > dont be all stupid ass again
Frank vanWulfen > what up Master of Mining?? are you only abe to Autocintroll your ships today again?
It was a regular bump-off.
Titus brought two Orcae, so Frank brought two Machariels.
What would happen next?
TITUS8 > imma just got get my ships and bump his ass
Both miners appealed to witnesses (get it?).
TITUS8 > 1 bill to gank him… lols
TITUS8 > you fear hence the skiffs
Frank vanWulfen > every Times lies
TITUS8 > 1 bill if you ganke him
Every story has two sides.
Frank vanWulfen > TITUS8 you think to kick me every time we meet in the Ass…
Frank vanWulfen > i may gonna go back to the last Things we did to you …
TITUS8 > like i dont fucking care
They were having fun in EvE Online.
TITUS8 > you pay gankers for permits, get ganked, then hate on miners
TITUS8 > your a fucking complete retard bro
Frank vanWulfen > well send the Wind and you get back the Storm
TITUS8 > place the balls on your teeth, and inhale
What a game.
TITUS8 > so stop the gay mach shit, or i will go get 5 and bump butt fuck you and your mom/dad
TITUS8 > id totally fuck his dadx and his mom
TITUS8 > hes german, he knows what its like
That’s right.
That’s right!
=POSTSCRIPT=
Everybody knows the legend.
Aiko Danuja, James 315’s favourite gankerette….
…summoned to Holy Halaima by Fate and Destiny.
PLOT TWIST: I’m the best!
Not surprisingly, there was ANOTHER miracle in Halaima.
I guess it’s just mean to be…
Eight years of unadulterated adulterous success.
Happy birthday Aiko!
That’s right.
That’s right!
That’s a great question!
I’m here for it.
That’s me!
There’s no salt here…
Why do gankers gank?
Why??
The miners understand.
It’s just that simple.
That’s right.
That’s right!
EvE Online is a therapeutic environment.
Will you speak out about griefplay?
What motivates the space terrorist??
=OFFICIAL RESPONSE=
Here’s our final verdict:
Any questions?
