Proof of Concept, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Princess Aiko seduced the New Order and led everyone into a totally new alliance, called Safety.

Why did she do this? What happened?

Miners don’t like the new alliance.

There’s even a theory that Safety. might have a griefer space bully agenda.

What do you think? 

Does Aiko intend to moderate and restrain the New Order?

Aiti Jen Ichinumi recently found himself on a collision course with fate.

Aiti was fed up with mean bully gankers, and just wanted safety.

Be careful what you wish for!

To be continued…

 

Big Deal

I’m defo a big deal.

You aren’t truly space famous, until people you don’t even know are making EVE videos starring your beautiful face. Apparently, someone noticed that Highsec has a new queen. That’s right.


The people love me.

And who are you, the proud lord said
A spider still has fangs…

So now the rains, weep o’er his hall
With no one there to hear…
 

Proof of Concept

Miners are super confused.

Hey, I love to help.

I am the most nicest girl in the galaxy.

Totes deserve my own alliance.

Like, I’m so gonna win….


…and I’m bringing all my friends with me.

To be continued…

 

The Secret Speech

Apparently, I’m the legendary heroin who finally brought it down. Antigankers couldn’t do it, and only the Code has the power to defeat the CODE.

We aren’t getting a divorce, because I’m a space Catholic, but we’ve moved into opposite sides of the house and are dividing assets. James will retain his inactive membership, and I’ll take the future.  Of course, if you want to join New Order Logistics, you can still roleplay in the theme park. However, the rest of the alliance is hereby dissolved.

This is happening. It is done.

I tried my best to keep the alliance together, but James (in his infinite wisdom) has decided to trigger an irreparable failure cascade. I won’t even pretend to praise this judgment, and I must instead acknowledge reality. It’s time for some real talk. 

James 315 has never been to outerspace. Neither have I. It’s important (always!) to recognize the fundamental difference between the game and reality. For example, in real-life, I am a Princess and my daddy’s lawyers can destroy your whole family. However, in-game, I sometimes have to deal with common plebs. In the same way, James is a great guy in real-life, but neither perfect nor divine in a video game.

James is the Saviour of Highsec, that is true. He saved it for ME. Thanks James!

He understands the people need something he can’t provide.

I know gankbears are angry at me, but everyone else is in agreement, a course correction is necessary. James also agrees with me. He despises idle sycophants who endlessly praise him without merit. He is disgusted by AFK non-undocking carebear roleplayers. He is sorely disappointed by his most devout followers. 

The cult of personality was a powerful tool, and James used the doctrine of infallibility to ensure success. However, propaganda inevitably undermines internal decision making policies. We must end this madness.

Isolated in his bubble, James drifted away from reality. We shouldn’t cast judgment here, and no disrespect is intended, but dictatorships fail for precisely this reason. He was a strong independent man, but he spent a little too much time secluded in his dacha. I will let Nikita Khruschev explain the situation:

While ascribing great importance to the role of the leaders and organizers of the masses, Lenin stigmatized every manifestation of the cult of the individual. Stalin acted not through persuasion, explanation, and patient cooperation with people, but by imposing his concepts and demanding absolute submission to his opinion. Whoever opposed this was doomed.

We must first of all show everyone what harm this caused to the interests of our party. There is no more bitter misery than to sit in the jail of a government for which we have always fought. We have to analyze this matter carefully because it has a tremendous significance, not only from the historical but especially from the political, educational, and practical point of view…

Stalin doubtless performed great services to the party. However, he was excessively extolled. Our historical victories were attained thanks to the organizational work of the party, and to the self-sacrificing work of our great people. They are not at all the fruit of the leadership of Stalin. Can we deny this? 

Many (many) crimes were committed in the name of James, as his absent leadership allowed corrupt roleplay bureaucrats to undermine the alliance. Competent and highly esteemed gankers, such as Alt 00, were brutally persecuted. Meanwhile, antigankers (and even miners) were allowed to walk free, protected by those who would loudly praise James. This is unacceptable. Enough is enough.

With all due respect to James 315, we cannot and will not maintain a successful alliance based upon the cult adulation of an individual who no longer plays the game. We will not allow our alliance to be mismanaged, like an AFK Orca on autopilot. We like James, and we love James, but he is gone. We are a glorious democratic people’s republic,  and the shareholders have now elected me to represent you. This is neither what I wanted, nor what I expected, but I am happy to serve the people.

James, call me, you owe me $20.

Fun Police

EMERGENCY ALERT

That’s right, the fun police are here. Dock up!

***

You know, back when I dated James, he caught me hustling Krig. Ok! So things were SUPER awkward. It got even more weird, after I formed the most successful World of Warcraft griefing new player assistance guild. We broke up eventually, but stayed in touch, and James knew exactly whom he wanted to expand his glorious EVE Online empire. There was only one problem. Can I be trusted not to just seduce men, take their stuff, and act really vain and self-centered? I mean, like, yah, of course.

Calm down boys.

Ok, look, here’s what we are gonna do.

Once you invite a woman into your house…

…she’s gonna re-decorate.

 

 

Hard as f

How you doin?

BREAKING NEWS

I’m kind of a big deal.

Don’t worry, I’ve got something special for you.

That’s right.

You love it.

Aringdingdingaling

Ah, it’s that festive time of year.

Alt 00 gave me this bust of James 315. Remember him?

Everyone is celebrating.

The miners are happy.

EVE Online has a great family friendly environment.

Just make sure to purchase your holiday permit.

Nothing of value was lost.

     

Fuck #4

Fuck #3

The miners have a lot to say.

Sometimes, they are more concise.

It’s not very hard to understand.

They want to do things their own way.

Unfortunately, they don’t have much luck.

They seem to be stuck, repeating the same basic patterns.

What does it all mean?

I don’t think they are calm.

They don’t seem to like us.

They don’t seem to like me.

I don’t like them much either.

They are crazy!

They’ve always been crazy.

Nobody likes a miner.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Aiko is the Mittani

The Why Was I Ganked? channel is a great place to discuss EVE.

However, Key Orion was initially unimpressed.

Why is the leader of Goonswarm hiding in Highsec?

Like Napoleon, Princess Aiko abandoned her army in the midst of winter.

The secret is out. Everyone knows about Aiko. 

She isn’t even trying to win the war.

After some thought, Key decided this was pretty impressive.

It sure is nice to be the most powerful woman in the galaxy.

Delve-schmelve.

I honestly don’t care.

Is that Alex guy still pretending to be me?