How to Scam CCP

Orcas have a question…

When will Hateless release his next EvE video?

Hawk vowed to kill Orcas, until Hateless makes a video.

Why is an EvE Partner rewarded for doing nothing?

What is he paid for?

Is it griefing, when you are paid to play?

I’ve heard the allegations, and let me be clear. I would never encourage anyone to visit that discord. His content is boring, like watching a grown man play Starcraft PvE by himself.

Nor would I ever ask anyone to take screenshots. However, since people (not associated with me) are taking screenshots, I might as well discuss what is already in the public domain.

Discussion is not illegal.

The Orcas believe Hateless got them killed.

Some Orcas suspect Hateless is ganking them.

Many Orcas feel Hateless is mocking their distress.

They know he is at fault.

They know Hateless is condescending.

They know Hateless is dishonest.

Fortunately, Hateless has a solution.

This EvE Partner wants to break the rules.

Hateless encourages people to violate the Terms of Service.

So Lexii decided to scam CCP.

This is a 2008 character , with 5 accounts.

They literally brag about AFK mining.

They’ve been ganked, and they have ganked (repeatedly).

This person does not deserve reimbursement.

Today I suffered an irrecoverable loss due to ganker crews in high sec. I do not feel I can continue to enjoy this game at this point. If my ship and cargo were reimbursed, Ill consider staying, but I do not feel like having to grind…

Lexii exploited the reimbursement program.

Will CCP reimburse your loss?

Hateless Blues

Wrathful Hawk recently declared a war on Orcas.

A lot of people claim gankers want to drive miners out of the game. However, when Hateless ragequit his EvE Online streaming career, Hawk offered an olive branch.

Instead of driving Hateless from the game, Hawk is encouraging Hateless to stop pouting and start mining. Newbros rely on Hateless to teach them how to use a dozen accounts to make easy isk, so he needs to get off his pity pot and get back to the daily grind!

Will Hateless save the Orcas, or will Hawk be forced to drive the entire pod unto the shore of extinction?

Desperate for the return of Hateless, many Orcas have fled to his Discord, where they beg him to make peace.

The response they receive, within the Hateless discord, is identical to the response they receive within my Why Was I Ganked? channel. Hateless and his cohort exhibit the same attitude, telling miners to calm down and mocking “emotional distress”.

The Orcas blame Hateless, because his manufactured outrage has drawn attention to illegal Highsec mining.

In the Hateless discord, they laugh at dead Orcas.

#WhyDidHatelessGetMeGanked? is trending.

The miners know who to blame.

Hateless pretends to help the refugees.

It’s not going well.

Hateless denies all responsibility.

Hateless claims Hawk would gank Orcas anyway.

The miners know that’s not true.

Calm down miner = griefing.

You do you boo, take a chill pill = not griefing?

Hateless infuriates everyone with his condescending attitude.

What a jerk!

One thing is for certain…

Orcageddon is nigh.

Will Hateless save the Orcas?

Not likely!

Cheers!

The Battle of Brap

Hello!

I’ve been traipsing through space.

Recently, I found myself in Brapelille.

EvE University sent their best bounty hunter to track me down.

It was a massacre.

Local miners weren’t sure what was happening.

Newbro Kha’ll barely survived.

However, he saw a business opportunity.

Catalyst salvaging is profitable!

Meanwhile, miners kept dying, one by one.

Kha’ll wasn’t even upset.

He just won’t forget.

Kha’ll found his lifelong space nemesis.

It was his first PvP experience.

He doesn’t care at all.

He’s gonna put a 145 on me.

Kha’ll is a real man.

He told me off.

Now I’ve got a real bounty.

Meanwhile, other miners noticed something amiss.

Raja Ovaert scrambled to salvage additional wrecks.

However, Charles Sheldon was mystified.

He was an EvE veteran, but had never seen anything like this.

Major Miner Sheldon soon joined the other wrecks.

Eventually, antiganking reinforcements arrived.

It was a bad day for the miners of Brapelille.

Sometimes, you just need to dock up.

There’s no shame in being afraid.

Thanks for the free advertising!

Death of a Miner, Part 2

Previously, Princess Emmylou bemoaned the death of a Procurer.

The decedent wondered whether Princess Aiko is truly a dumb b-word/c-word.

The Duke winced, because the truth hurt.

He finally realized that Aiko is an s-word, in real life.

She’s definitely a total s-word…

…and a tease!

The dead miner was caught in her magical web.

He was so excited to meet a woman, in a video game.

He felt like she was right there, mocking his little thing in real life.

Maybe she would text with him?

To be continued…

Death of a Miner

Highsec gankers are ruining EvE Online.

Everybody knows this.

However, CCP hides the facts.

Fortunately, Aiko Danuja tells the truth.

Duke Piecaulker was a typical newbro, who had only been playing a few years.

The Duke embraced death with stoic grace.

However, his employer had bad news.

This was the final straw.

Princess Emmylou was ready to let Duke go.

She is the Highsec mining main of a nullsec miner.

Unfortunately, while enjoying a family vacation, everything fell apart.

She impulsively wrote a sassy rebuttal to the mining inspector.

A few minutes later, Duke added his two cents.

It was the end of an era.

The Duke’s mining adventure ended in Tolle, where he started.

Ironically, he was quitting anyways.

Emmylou said goodbye to her friend employee.

Game over.

Merry May 9

Yesterday was May 9.

It was a day of Russian PRIDE.

We don’t celebrate Soviet holidays.

Russian miners often have a lot to say.

And you, Princessa, I remember, go fuck your shavern personally!

Dalbeny are stupid, you can shove your rackeeteers in ass!

They were threatening war, and we didn’t listen.

Your kids, bitch, burned out slobbering, bullshit, you bitch, intefere with playing fucking critters!

Now, the whole world is listening.

As it turns out, we are the real Nazis!

At least, I still have friends.

Death to the diggers!

Yikes!

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon Dodixie Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.

Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to James Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously masturbating perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.

It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.

It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.

All Glory to the Ice BWitchPrincess!

 

The Battle of Torrinos

When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.

I recently discovered a vast empire.

In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.

However, they remember my previous visits.

I often cower in a nearby station.

So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.

He taunted me.

He brought an entire hit squad.

I was in serious trouble.

The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.

I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.

The miners were mocking me.

They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.

That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.

This was getting serious.

It all happened so fast.

Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.

Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.

Everybody was amazed.

They never anticipated my counterattack.

It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.

The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.

Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.

The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.

Everybody reflected on the experience.

One thing was crystal clear.

I have a Highsec PvP alt.