Cromeanator Man

Cromeanator lose ship.

Cromeanator not like.

Cromeanator make mad.

Cromeanator make cry.

Cromeanator make dumb.

Cromeanator want new.

Cromeanator like Princess.

Princess help Cromeanator?

Cromeanator make complain.

Princess make nice.

Princess make trust.

Cromeanator want ship!

Cromeanator make wait.

Long wait.

So long!

A New Logo, for a New Era

Every few years, the Imperium evaluates the efficacy of Highsec ganking. Fortunately, we passed our audit, and The Mittani has once again acknowledged the People’s Democratic Republic of Highsec. Consequently, the ice interdiction will continue, until further notice. Meanwhile, in honour of our continued status as an independent sovereign state, I have graciously allowed CCP to use my personal seal.

I’m sure James would have loved it.

This design was produced by Zaenis Desef, and is reminiscent of similar designs by Blake McAllister and Sargon of Amerish.

Sargon’s version, some felt, was a little too good.

Blake’s idea was really the same basic concept. Zaenis and I looked at this, and discussed how we might improve it. Credit where it’s due, I never would have come up with the idea of putting myself on the alliance logo. Such hubris and vanity is far beyond me. I was perfectly happy to have James enshrined forever, in a hideous shade of orange. However, some people think it’s high time to shatter the glass ceiling, and put a woman atop our keepstar. Well, I can’t disagree, I should have called the alliance AIKO. However, I gotta say, Safety. will look pretty good on the nullsec map.

There were a number of suggestions, some that just didn’t quite match CCP’s formatting requirements. Gurt Benoit, for example, had a great idea. It was just a little ahead of it’s time. Once CCP fixes Walking in Stations, we will surely be able to permanently trap miners inside decorative bubbles.

I liked the message here, but it’s too wordy.

Dolphin Don wanted a sea theme, but it was too sexual.

Don felt we could use the logo to educate, about the dangers of mining, but we were concerned this might trigger recovering miners to relapse.

Tweeps wanted more of an early 1990s broadcast television theme, but personally I prefer pictures of myself. Can you blame me?

Before he was banned, Zuzzik portrayed me as a crystalline entity.

I thought the triangle S thing was cool (who made that?).

Globby suggested using the criminal timer.

Some submissions were good, but they weren’t the right size.

Ultimately, there were a lot of fine submissions.

Alt 00 had an interesting idea, which we could have developed further. However, Zaenis was the first to produce something with sparkly stars. Oh, how cute! 100% of the voters immediately selected his design. Subsequently, in their infinite wisdom, CCP decided to attack my fair visage with an eraser.

Why?

https://images.evetech.net/alliances/99010569/logo?size=128

At first, I thought CCP was sending a warning. They didn’t do this to anyone else. No other logo has been so ravaged.

Why am I singled out for defacement, covered in dirty grime and scratches? Well, I know the reason. More than any alliance, we represent the gritty reality of New Eden. CCP has chosen us to represent their vision. Miners will never live to see the freshly painted logo. All carebears will ever see is how it looks later, when the greedy salvager scoops scrap metal into his hull, wondering who killed his friends… and why? So that’s fine CCP, if you want to scuff up my face, I’m gonna scuff up your crabs.

Regardless, people seem happy with it, not that they have a choice.

If you think it’s so amazing, join my alliance.

Together, we can save the miners!

So Hot!

Hi!

I thought we should have a little chat.

Let me explain something.

I’ve got some good news.

It doesn’t matter if you are a newcrab…

…or if you’ve encrusted around the block.

We are going to have a real gay time.

This is a war of extermination.

Justice is nigh.

There is nothing you can do.

All miners go to hell.

GF!

It’s what they deserve.

Just try and stop me.

Cashmeowside.

Howbowdat?

Simping for Anlions

Why, hello there!

That’s right! I’m exactly what James was hoping to summon.

I’m soo cool. I even ganked a Venture!

Ventures are the saltiest pilots in the galaxy.

Angel pretended to be an “I don’t care” bear.

This didn’t last long.

Recently, I noticed the newest carebear corp.

The recruiter from SICO started his own alliance.

Do you think she is cute?

Cuter than me???

I was a little jealous.

Come on boys, don’t simp for Anlions.

She’s got those hooks in deep.

He won’t be joining Princess Aiko Hold My Hand(((

Sad!

The Best Revenge, Part 100

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, on my blog… avia naali (aka THE GREAT LORD OF DELVE) directed the Goon armada against his cursed enemies.

I know what miners really want.

Some want erotic fantasy, and others want REVENGE.

Back in Part 10, avia sperged about his power, resulting in a 1 billion isk fine (increased to 5 billion). Behold now, never released before: the security breach notification which Aiko sent to her Goon liaison, Soviet commodore Vladimir Chakaidi.

High Starnovalord avia (aka anaCheeya ANARKY, aka ‘lil bullet, aka AGENT ANVIL) has come a long way since he first began plotting the best revenge. Today, he controls the mighty Imperium, with faction titans responding to his every whim.

Now he requested a formal meeting with senior staff. 

The meeting started out well enough.

avia (aka AstevonWard OverGreer) succinctly explained his plan.

He also wanted to meet the lead FC.

This didn’t go as well.

As always, Holostar was late to the meeting.

avia decided to conclude early.

He blamed himself for wasting the FC’s time.

The war was off to a rocky start.

avia began preparing for the worst.

Perhaps it was time to join battle himself?

To be continued…

tanktheface

tanktheface lost his Iteron, and a Caracal.

He didn’t care.

He enjoyed full SRP, after losing someone else’s ship.

Despite not caring, tank vowed that someone else would extract revenge.

vault 4+2 (aka vault 6) was on the case!

tanktheface > the man it was knows has give me 50mil… and a new order
tanktheface > he on discord now…so mad
Aiko Danuja > He’s mad at himself for trusting you?
tanktheface > thats why i get the big isk

tank gloated, sending proof of the incoming attack.

Aiko was alarmed. What if 4+2 actually had a battlecruiser?

Furthermore, tank had killrights.

The situation was bleak.

Fortunately, his corporation subsidizes incompetence.

Now we own the Hammer of God.

What an astonishing turn of events!

4+2 is one salty taskforce.

Cordillia denied being a 4+2 agent.

She claimed we are liars, like Biden.

What’s wrong with Sleepy Joe?

Meanwhile, Cordillia (the Orca pilot) insisted that she isn’t a miner.

I think she might be the liar.

Regardless, she wasn’t very calm.

Why was she so angry?

Oh! I guess she is a miner.

Cordillia > You don’t know me, i Just returned to this game after 3 years of military duty in Afganistan. Now you want to tell me that I am a MINING Addicted person. WOW have you all fucking lost it
Whadda Badasaz > The issue here is not your service record, but your mining record.
Northbridge West > That went well over there, didn’t it?
Cordillia > REPORTED
Cordillia > your all safe at home
Cordillia > hiding under your bed
Cordillia > your so far ass whips to me

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #235

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #234

Well, I guess it’s time to check my mail.

I’ve got a lot of unread and unsorted mail.

Apparently, someone in my alliance was ganking miners?

Dead miners continue to haunt me from beyond the grave.

I’m even starting to learn Russian.

The miners have so much to say.

In any language, they all sound the same.

Spinner believe you your gelaber Interest me you get nut make yourself with your blackmail from the field and never write to me again

Of course, the miners are also learning English.

Together, we are all learning to play EVE.

Obviously, some of us are a little ahead of the curve!

If you want to contribute to this sacred archive, the process is simple.

Easy!

Heh. Those silly miners only seem to want one thing.

Hey! Do you remember when I took everything Odbayar ever owned?

I didn’t bully him out of the game at all!

I’m proud of you Odbayar.

Storytime, Part 2

Previously, on the bestest blog in galactic history… Ann Mari’s freighter was wrecked in Uedama, and she lost 10 billion isk. Then she lost a jump freighter, and a Golem, finding herself stuck inside a vast spiderweb. The arachnid’s venom was filled with the essence of lonely miners long gone, and Ann Mari was exhilarated and titillated by a cunning plan. What if she paid the gankers to turn on their own Saviourette, humiliating Princess Aiko with erotic stories and outrageous rumours?

Indeed, Aiko has carefully studied Brer Rabbit (aka Sun Tzu). 

Some people are truly invincible.

Some people always have the last laugh.

Please don’t get revenge on me.

I’m just a dumb girl. Please don’t make me cry.

In outer space, there are no limits.

Anne was shocked to learn about 2020 Fanfest.

However, behind the scenes, Aiko and Rakk were conspiring.

How many stories will Ann commission?

This blog post is sponsored by Ann Mari’s Erotic Aiko Fanfic Club.

Everyone had a story to tell.

Buttercup offered an especially humiliating tale.

However, she demanded the money upfront.

I guess it was a scam.

Suddenly, Aiko saw an opportunity…

Some people just always win.

Some people practice witchcraft.

Crying in the Night

As the New Order storms ahead into the 21st Century, we’ve rebranded and upgraded. We’ve got our own Twitter, a MySpace, and now we are on TikTok!

James 315 couldn’t possibly be prouder of me, his perfect little angel.

Here’s another video, from my recent meeting with the CSM.

Of course, some people are always dissatisfied.

13+1 has been crying about our low activity at 4 in the morning. In order to resolve this, I have delegated recruitment and training to him.

Let me be clear, 13+1, I don’t hate you. I don’t even know who you are. Yes, I sit at the table with all the cool kids, and dunk on miners. If you want to be cool, keep shooting miners. You don’t need an FC to tell you, “Kill them all!”

If you want to gank, all you need to do is follow some simple instructions. 13+1 will answer any questions you might have.

As the divine leader of a major spacefaring civilization, I no longer have any duties or responsibilities. I can do whatever, however I want, whenever I want. I am perfect in every way, infallible in judgment and beyond reproach. I’m a Princess, and I am successful simply by existing, even if I log out and disappear forever.

As there are no objections, I will conclude this post. 

Goodnight!

Storytime

Previously, on Princess Aiko’s #1 Best Blog… Ann Mari lost her freighter and her pod, but wasn’t salty. In fact, like Coach Subway, she’s so rich she doesn’t care. Indeed, she can get revenge by losing more isk – right?

We are always fair, and honest. If you don’t read the blog, or memorize the CODE, or appreciate all the wonderful mysterious ways that Aiko has spun a magical web across the galaxy – well, friend, that’s going to cost you.

Aiko Danuja > It looks like you ran into my Uedama team…
Aiko Danuja > Ann Mari you owe 50 billion isk, so you can pay now
Ann Mari > I’ll take my chances thanks
Aiko Danuja > They are professionals Ann. You need to take this more seriously.
Aiko Danuja > You are a convicted mining offender.
Ann Mari > Necck beards might fall at her feet…. I’m old, I’m married, I’m male…. I just do not care
MarshallTeagan > Princess Aiko Danuja is female i have heard her angelic voice.
Ann Mari > I’m not buying into your lil mafia sccheme

Ann vowed that she he would never give me an isk.

To get revenge, he began sending my alts and friends all his isk and ships, in a dubious plot to make me feel left out. Before long, he was bankrupt and destitute, so he needed to convince his bank that he really wanted to throw more money into some suspicious Icelandic shell company owned by North Koreans.

After getting a taste of erotic Aiko fanfic, Ann was hooked. He needed more.

While CODE. was on autopilot, Safety. agents were hard at work.

Within my Why Was I Ganked? channel, Ann began to execute his devious plot. He would pay for erotic stories about Aiko, which would humiliate and disgrace the Princess, and NONE of the money would go to Aiko.

There was nothing I could do to stop it.

My own girlfriend betrayed me.

Ann was so delighted, he gave Alleil a generous tip.

I was humiliated, but Ann was just getting started.

Everyone had a story to tell.

The truth about Aiko was finally coming out.

Ann was going to RUIN me…

…but first, he needed more money.

To be continued…

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