Category: Tears

For the Newbros

Listening to: You Got Ganked

As part of his postgank art therapy, MarkeeDragon commissioned a song to commemorate his grief.

…and now, our feature presentation…

Hey there.

On Reddit, crabs conspire.

This carebear wants to expand Highsec.

How did the lowsec community respond?

Next up, another carebear loser.

Crybabies just want easy AFK isk.

Everybody hates Safety.

Garr gaunkers gunk.

Why can’t miners AFK in peace?

Think about the newbro Hulks!

Reeeeeee, why can’t new players boomervets get free easy isk?

Where did all the miners go??

I guess they all left… right?

Some people don’t even know what they are crying about!

Ganking should be theoretically allowed, but practically impossible.

Imagine a sandbox with walls and guardrails.

Let’s get rid of those evil meanies!

The tears never stop.

Yep, another 2004 returning crybaby.

Are there any new players at all?

Oh look, another 2008 returning crybaby.

Hey, check out the 2012 returning newbro!

Question: Is whining about ganking a nullsec recruitment tactic?

I’m sensing a consensus.

One guy had a whole story…

Is this whinefest a Snuffed Out advertisement?

Hey, a 2014 returning crybaby has a theory.

What do you think?

Cheerzah!

=FINAL WORDS=

<=BONUS SALT=>

=PvP PLAYER RESPONSE=

That’s right.

End of an Era, Part 17

End of an Era, Part 16

It was a rainy day in Incursion Town.

The roads were infested with rats.

Editor’s Note: The original design of incursions, developed by developers who no longer develop the game, was for players to race through a maze of tunnels filled with scary space monsters… whoever made it first, could fight the BIG BOSS MOTHERSHIP for isk and glory.

In 2024, Wrathful Hawk decisively won the game.

Outwitting the carebears, he went straight through lowsec.

Along the way, Hawk met a few friends.

These boys took their entire bling fleet through Vecamia.

It’s a shortcut.

This is was some real content, in EvE Online.

Sun Tzu said the greatest warriors evade battle altogether.

That was EvE Online in its finest hour.

What happened next?

Highsec carebears failed again.

This was the typical cry and whine.

Hawk simply outplayed the plebs.

To be continued…

Missing Freighter

We have fun in Highsec.

Check out this trick.

Where’d the freighter go?

Two day newbro MEMO2556 was mystified.

Princess Aiko investigates…

In EvE Online, all losses are temporary.

I’m happy to help.

He paid.

What’s next?

Time to beg.

Another registered inmate.

Indeed.

Teamwork makes the dreamwork.

Everything hung in the balance.

Real-life discord roles were at stake.

One friendship was over forever.

MEMO’s friend scammed him to haul through Uedama.

Oh my…

Poor little fellow.

He’s out of luck.

=BEHIND THE SCENES=

We all know how that turned out.

Maybe his pro friend will help him tommorrow?

Good luck little guy.

A few hours later…

Cheerzah brav!

Father’s Day

Tee Ka Gets Pkd, Part 1

Previously, Tee Ka tried Highsec PvP.

He lost a lot.

Tee Ka knows I am honest and true.

He’s like a father to me.

We often spend holidays together.

We are there for each other.

For Father’s Day, I played EvE Online with Daddy.

He doesn’t fit his ships very well.

He didn’t appreciate the surprise party.

I don’t even have a blob!!

We had a real heart to heart.

Tee Ka wants to get rich poor quick.

I invited him ganking.

That sounds fun!

His alts are excited to join.

To be continued…

Dirty Business

Hey there.

Each day brings new friends.

Yesterday, I helped Lady Krabs purchase 12 mining permits.

Then she reported me to the SSR.

The next morning, Mrs. Krabs woke up to reality.

Op success.

Another content subscriber.

Now the Krabs ladies can mine in peace.

Osmon is also the home of my beloved Cultural Center.

I can’t keep a secret.

He’s a real people person.

I’m glad everyone is happy.

That’s right.

Feel free to send your isk.

Works for me.

I wonder how things are going in Osmon?

Sounds like things are going great.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

I’m glad we are friends.

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 316

Listening to: Hahaha

Here’s to thirteen fourteen years of failure in Uminas!

At least I’m having fun in EvE Online.

Here’s a neat trick.

First, I gank them.

Then, I gank their friends.

Next, I undock the big bomper!

This usually gets their attention.

Talking to me, or my alts, is one dangerous game.

Highsec is a Safe space!

No free samples.

Miners are tightfisted Scrooges.

Have you heard of Aiko Danuja, the greatest player in EvE Online?

I make things happen.

I’m a real content generator.

Once you meet me, you’ve already lost.

This miner was one tough negotiator.

Every miner is a little special.

I’m a helpful princess.

Fortunately, mining permits are still in fashion.

However, after payment, he immediately blocked me.

I guess I can sell this permit to someone else.

I’d call that a win.

=FOREIGN LANGUAGE CONTEST=

Contest Rules: Send 1 billion isk to Aiko Danuja, and guess the magic word. Put that as the payment reason, and receive one (1) entry.

Meanwhile….

xd)

=Afterwards=

I eventually taught Lady Krabs to unblock me.

I make the galaxy go round.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #247

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #246

Oh, hey there.

I guess it’s mailtime.

Some miners are not upset.

They are quite calm.

Some miners roleplay as notaminers.

No mining in Delve!

That’s right.

This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…

It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.

I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.

Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.

I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).

It is funny tho.

A mining sniper, and not even his first time…

Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.

Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.

Boy, I got so much game up in here.

Wow, just wow.

I can’t wait to hear more.

That’s right.

I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.

Sure thing, little buddy.

Ah, but I’m also cute.

That’s my isk/hr.

Hey, I’m having fun)

<3

Welcome to Highsec.

We can play EvE Online together.

Let’s send those miners to otherwhere!

That’s right, go on, git.

I’m a real Space Ganger now.

Tunnel snakes don’t scare us.

I run five successful alliances.

We are all one team…

…spoonfeeding content to the regular workingpleb.

They love it.

Cheerzah brav.

Nobody likes a loley miner.

Loleylol!

Gotta catch em all, and then do it again.

Lucky Charmz

A killmail in zeroes = real PvP.

He sounds excited.

Wow, there’s another one.

Nice job Apo.

Hey, we’re having fun in EvE Online.

Leena Saishi > considering i’m in a new player area

Just ignore bittervet permaloser whinebears.

Bro claims ‘new player’, at 7 years old.

Muvolailen is not a rookie system.

Miners sure do lie a lot.

There’s only one way to deal with space bullies.

Oh yes.