LoL @ Khromius, Part 3

Previously, in Aikotopia… Erbacher lost his mining Kikimora, and Khromius vowed a “scorched Earth campaign”, roleplaying as a tough guy wardeccer. However, Princess Aiko made the desert bloom, and magical spaceships appeared from thin air. Khromius couldn’t handle the truth. Aiko was winning without any effort! Also, she was laughing at him, because free isk is gosh darn funny.

Aiti Jen, aka Charlie, was rewarded for his generous donations with a bonus round, hosted by a former CODE. celebrity.

Charlie was disgruntled. He visited the front, expecting to see Aiko’s new navy. Instead, he saw a handful of grumpy BLACKFLAG. bears grinding away on random stations, whilst spunky gankers dunked on hapless miners.

Aiko’s emissary quickly resolved Charlie’s concern.

Men of honor can easily reach an understanding.

Charlie was pleased, and made payment.

Was it possible Charlie could pay a little more?

Of course, Charlie wanted to be sure Aiko would stop ganking.

Also, what about the Sunday timer?

Those eggheads in Isanamo did their math, and the numbers were clear.

Charlie didn’t trust his new allies, but their logic was impeccable. 

Aiko would re-renounce ganking, forever, and Charlie would pay!

 

However, a few days later, Aiti regretted his decision.

He filed a formal complaint with Aiko’s boss, Australian Jesus…

…and that’s the story of how Khromius helped Aiko.

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

LoL @ Khromius, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Khromius was salty about ganking, so he declared war upon an innocent girl, Princess Aiko. This was fine, because she laughs at antiganking carebears, and Khromius handed her a wonderful opportunity.

Like most people, who haven’t read the blog, Khromius is apparently unaware of how easily Princess Aiko distorts the fabric of roleplay spacetime. Somehow, the war was no longer about ganking, or stations, or anything connected to fundamental realities. This was simply a fantasy business proposition, and Aiko sells victory.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Alright. 1. I can supply your corp with ships to fight and stop him fitted at my expense. I do not want leadership or isk. Your corp keeps all profits.
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > 2. Stop ganking miners in hisec around jita.
Shekelstein Shakiel > I will pass the message about miners to my leader, i think i can work something out

The war thus became an asymmetrical proxy conflict. Aiti Jen was willing to fund Aiko, but only if she renounced terrorism.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > I know you are in need.
Shekelstein Shakiel > alright
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > How many drakes?
Shekelstein Shakiel > around 27
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Wow I will spend billions, but okay are you sure they want drakes, all of them?
Shekelstein Shakiel > send 20 for now

Somewhere, Khromius was stifling a yawn, slowly grinding down a structure. Meanwhile, Aiko was victorious. Isk positive, always!

Shekelstein explained Aiko’s doctrine.

Some say that Aiko is a witch, in real life.

Indeed, spaceships began falling from orbit.

It was an entire armada…

…with all the fittings.

The deal was struck!

Of course, I don’t actually own any structures…

…but I’m glad they are in Safety.

Everything was promptly sold in Jita, to purchase more Catalysts. Why would I want to waste my time doing boring station timer quests?

To be continued…

LoL @ Khromius

@everyone LoL @ Khromius. It’s not every day I make isk fall from the sky, but it happens more often when salty carebears freak about ganking.

Gay Pride BOOOOOM caught Erbacher doing PvE carebear mining missions, so he did the only thing a self-respecting ganker would do. He put the hapless miner down. For some weird reason, this made Khromius cry, so he decided to declare war on me, lol! Why did Khromius become an antiganker? Yikes!

Khromius is learning the hard way. I’ve been nice and polite, but things go poorly for those who oppose me. You know, a little bird told me it’s possible to gank quantum cores. Is that true? Meanwhile, station grinding is beyond boring, not lucrative, and kind of awkward when gankers are in system. Yes, Khromius was so salty, that he literally paid CCP to make it easier for us to kill poor Erbacher again.

Behind the scenes, I’ve always supported wardeccers, and discouraged hostile actions against them. Meanwhile, my supporters inside BLACKFLAG. question their leader’s fitness to command. They don’t actually want to be antigankers, and they don’t enjoy cringing at his emotional blunders. Is Khromius really naive enough to think this war will end in a few hours? Why is he so salty about a mining Kikimora?

As Sun Tzu said, it’s best to check who you are attacking, before blindly stumbling into an always war. Khromius probably won’t believe the truth, but the good guys are laughing in Teamspeak, because he handed us piles of isk.

As the Queen of Antiganking, I let miners know my alliance is beset by space bully griefers. It didn’t take long to attract a white knight orbiter…

Khromius likely has no idea that Aiti Jen is a big supporter of Princess Aiko. Hey, just check out Proof of Concept, Part III. I’ll tell you what, it doesn’t matter how good you are at game mechanics, if someone else is way better at basic social skills. It’s called metagaming, because I win from beyond the game.

Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Maybe an alliance should be in order
Shekelstein Shakiel > thats correct
Aiti Jen Ichinumi > Very well. I heard you guys needed help. We have a common enemy, I thought I might be of help.

WoW! Just WoW! Antiganking is failing SO hard right now! Daily!

To be continued…

 

 

EvgheniCa loses an Orca

Miners clearly enjoy PvP content.

Like so many others, EvgheniCa is here to die.

She was tired of mining eggs, and finally she is free.

Unfortunately, she was mining and driving.

Therefore, she owed me money.

We agreed that I am most noble and trustworthy.

There was just one small problem.

Fortunately, I am very reasonable.

There was just one small problem.

EvgheniCa was bankrupt.

EVE is such a great game.

EvgheniCa has a new home, in my Why Was I Ganked? channel.

She also joined a new corporation, with a new career.

She seems happy.

What a lucky miner.

I think she likes me.

Super Easy

It’s one of the most common questions.

Most miners want a permit.

Of course, some gobloks refuse to cooperate.

Others are more agreeable, and listen to reason.

Nobody wants legal trouble.

Nobody wants punishment.

It’s always best to confess and cooperate.

Archangel89 was happy to negotiate with a pirate police princess.

He decided to purchase permits for his entire family.

What a lucky miner.

How to Sell a Mining Permit, Part 10

Previously, in James 315 space… We learned about little Odbayar, the Mongolian menace, who lost everything in order to please Princess Aiko.

Carebear crybabies often wave the white banner, loudly proclaiming that so-called ‘scams’ are bad for the game. However, in fact, Odbayar never quit EVE. Instead, he’s doubled down, losing everything with gusto. If you don’t kill him, and take his stuff, I guarantee someone else will.  He clearly enjoys it.

Everybody loves to play EVE.

Shadow Cyrilus recently found A Cupcake, who craved thirty permits.

Shadow presented her with a solid financial plan, including options.

She selected a personalized plan, which fit both her needs and budget.

This is how you sell thirty lifetime mining permits. Easy!

Good job Shadow.

Eat that cupcake.

Nom. Nom. Nom.

It sure looks tasty.

Why is it getting so agitated? Cupcake, calm down!

Look, it has a friend!

Oops.

Oh no!

I’m sure they’ll be fine.

It was all just a misunderstanding.

That’s right.

To be continued…

 

 

 

The Cataline Conspiracy (RELOADED)

Yesterday, in James 315 space, we examined how a Highsec mining corporation attempted to ‘corner’ the Catalyst market. Today, we announce that Princess Aiko has convinced Scooby Snacks Corp to continue their scheme.

If you are invested in Catalyst futures, this is good news. At press time, our Jita analyst reports prices already approaching the January 29 peak.

How many Catalysts can YOU manufacture and sell?

Two years ago, Scooby Snacks Corp attempted to bribe Aiko, with a gift of 3200 Catalysts in return for a ‘sweetheart’ deal. alazarr and alts have now decided to terminate the alliance, and intend to buy their Catalysts back at any cost.

You may recall the Great Catalyst Panic of 2019, when alazarr attempted a similar scheme, before giving up and handing the Catalysts to Aiko. We can only hope that a similar outcome presents itself, as alazarr vows to invest 7 trillion isk.

alazarr gave Aiko fair warning…

…but she rebuffed him with a diplomatic snub.

If the scheme continues, you can thank Aiko.

It’s gonna be a long expensive year.

What will happen next?

Why does Aiko keep doing this?

Oh no! Please don’t throw me in the briar patch!

EVE is such a great game, isn’t it?

The Cataline Conspiracy

Minx Mattel has long been a supporter of Princess Aiko.

You may have noticed that Catalyst prices spiked recently, peaking at 15 million isk per ship. Was this an antiganker conspiracy? Yes, it was.

Minx would know, since her market alt sold a lot of Catalysts.

I remember dab dabonez. Do you?

James 315 always loved his little Princess (that’s me!), because she was his favourite angel. In A Deal with Code, James described how Aiko and her big sister, Alt, helped Scooby Snacks Corp, with assistance from Drugs.

Two years later, James is dead, Aiko is a verified Godqueen, and old dabber finally saw his chance to drive a disbanded alliance from the game, by artificially manipulating the price of Catalysts. My, how the galaxy spins. 

Minx’s alt tried to explain economics, but dab wouldn’t listen.

dab spent two years blazing it, and wasn’t about to stop now.

dab’s alt alazarr was authorized to purchase Catalysts at any price.

What a champ.

Former CODE. gankers are the only people who mass produce Gallente destroyers, and we ramped up production to meet Scooby Snacks demand.

It was hard to keep up, and prices skyrocketed.

In an attempt to minimize supply, dab paid us to halt production.

Eventually, he ran out of money, and prices began to decline.

After attempting to list Catalysts at 15 million isk (and paying exorbitant broker fees), the market manipulator was forced to relist everything at a loss.

Stupid miner!

 

 

 

 

Riddle Me This, Part III

Riddle Me This, Part 1

Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort was an evil miner, who lost everything when he hastily gave it all away.

Nine minutes later, he began to regret his investment.

Bankrupt and alone, Riddle finally hit rock bottom.

Riddle swore eternal fealty, trusting upon the mercy of Princess Aiko.

Consequently, he was lawfully convicted of botting.

Riddle was fortunate to hear the divine wisdom of royalty.

He thus received a new quest, to fetch 960 million isk.

Riddle truly loved his holy Princess.

What a happy miner.

Riddle lingered in the royal court, eager for additional favour.

Ultimately, he was a satisfied peasant.

What a lucky fellow.

 

 

Riddle Me This, Part 2

Previously, in James 315 space… Riddle Voldemort lost his poorly fit Tayra, and received instructions to promptly transfer the remainder of his assets to Cargo Bandit. In such cases, it is important to proceed as quickly as possible.

There was no time to waste.

Voldemort transferred his assets in haste.

Would it be enough to pay his debts?

Unfortunately, Voldemort was bankrupt!

His world was crashing down around him.

To be continued…