Krig’s Korner, Part I
James fucked off, and now I have to do everything.
Ok, fine, let’s see what Ryan wants.
Previously, Warugaki donated dozens of billions to the mighty Safety alliance.
BREAKING NEWS: Wrathful Hawk made a superb video!
We now return to our regularly scheduled Krig’s Korner.
Hi. It’s me again. Last time, on Krig’s Korner, Princess Aiko let me out to play and I got into trouble 🙁
Fortunately, Asketus was calm, and I did not elicit an illegal emotional response. Apparently, those are bad. We must refrain from emotions in EvE Online. Any emotional response could provoke an all-out dairy disaster.
I was still in my unemotional Korner when I ran into an emotionally vapid whale. Everyone knows that I
love have no particular sentiment toward whales and I merely wanted an emotionless experience. Therefore, I respectfully initiated an emotionfree session with him/her/xie/xe/zim/zur/zing.
Princess Aiko says I can get a little too rough when playing. If I am not nice, she will send me back to the Korner! So, I offered my new friend a fair deal.
The miner accepted my dispassionate proposal.
He even sent some free iskies.
In compliance with the EULA, I felt nothing whatsoever.
Inexplicably, the miner ejected from his spaceship.
Imagine my surprise, when he attempted to gank me.
I could tell he was nervous. Look, when it is someone’s first time, you need to consider their feelings. Don’t just start pounding and smashing. That could elicit an emotional response, and I needed this miner to calm down.
Just like that, the deed was done.
Imagine my surprise, when he abandoned his own Orca.
As a good friend, I contracted it to him. Unfortunately, he did not have enough ISK. I almost felt bad, because nobody wants to be friends with a poor.
Regardless, emotions shouldn’t dictate our gameplay.
His space-lunch money is safe with me.
I left him with some dispassionate advice.
Farewell, old friend.
He lingered for awhile.
I felt nothing, as he faded away.
Suddenly, he tried to bait me into an emotional experience.
However, I still felt nothing.
We are no longer friends.
He had a bad attitude.