Vagur yet?

I hope you had a wonderful Juneteenth.

Here is a fun story to share with friends and family.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

katsuya lost a Vargur.

I always know what men need.

Can you guess what happened next?

Do you think he paid me?

Scroll down to find out (and be prepared)!

Did you guess correctly?

Is vagur yet?

He even thanked me))))

I don’t think vagur yet((((

xaxaxa

Victory in Tolle

Every day brings new victories.

When maximus died, I knew he was special.

He told his mining mates that everything was fine.

He thought he was winning.

maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil

maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!

Maximus didn’t believe a girl could kill an Orca.

If he read my blog, he’d know something.

Krig Povelli taught me a secret trick.

I can’t kill orcas, but my boyfriend can!

Maximus tried to bluff his way out.

Then he tried to scam me.

He even sent an unfit barge!

Meanwhile, the other Procurer tried ganking.

As always, I was victorious.

Nice!

LIVE UPDATE:

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Nice!

Show your pride, with the number one Highsec mining guild!

That’s right!

Erik Meets a Good Girl

Listening to: Chantilly Lace

Erik Draven was ganked by the Loot Fairy.

Poor Erik didn’t have a friend in the galaxy(((

Freedom left him empty inside.

Erik found himself watching a certain someone.

He began to feel something special.

This was his big chance, but did he really have to pay?!

Erik wanted to learn more about the High High Heroin.

As he studied her Holy Word, he was filled with FAITH.

Unlike Hrothgrrarianism, this is a CODE. which people want to be part of.

Doubting Erik experienced a miraculous conversion.

He wasn’t gonna wind up in an incel Lewakian monastery.

True happiness is Chantilly lace and a pretty face…

…and a pony tail ahangin down!

So spend all your money!

Where’s Kalvin?

In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.

From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted] 

Hi friends,

I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…

Praise James!

Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.

Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.

Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.

Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.

Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?

My fees are very reasonable!

Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?

Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.

Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!

It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.

Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.

Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.

This went on for quite some time.

On and on…

The logs are voluminous.

Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.

You done wrong, and I like money.

The Exanondus, Part 4

Exanon Alleile began cursing agents of the mighty New Order.

Damien Oxytocin was shocked, when the curse hit home.

For Safety purposes, Damien immediately lifted the curse.

At this point, the curse rebounded, catching Exanon in his skiff.

Exanon accused Damien of lying, but Exanon was wrong about that.

Exanon never expected this plot twist.

Damien never deceived Exanon!

In fact, it was Exanon who tried to bully Damien.

Exanon is his own worst enemy.

Damien did nothing wrong.

To be continued???

Pay to play

Hello there, friendos.

Meridia Horizon was intrigued by his own death.

I made him an offer he couldn’t refuse.

That’s right, miners will pay to die.

This is actually pretty normal.

No regrets!

The Exanondus, Part 3

The Exanondus, Part 1

Back, by popular demand…

Previously, Exanon Alleile went on a grand tour of the galaxy.

At the end of the road, there was either a pot of gold… or nothing.

He’d been tricked seven times before, but what was in the container?

What do you think? Did Exanon win a FREE Mackinaw?

***SPOILER ALERT***

Scroll down to find out what was in the container!

***SPOILER ALERT***

Did you guess correctly?


Oh dang, it was empty!

It was time to try a BONUS lootbox.

Now this is how you play EvE Online.

Suddenly, Exanon began cursing.

FUN FACT: The recommended width of a blog image is 500 pixels — 750 max.

Damien Oxytocin tried to negotiate, but it was too late.

He could see hell, bleeding through his increasingly transparent interface.

Damien warned Exanon, that curses have consequences.

Would Exanon have mercy, and lift the curse?

Alas, it is real!

I want to continue enjoying my happy life, for at least a year.

Therefore, I rejected the upside down 666,666,666, but Exanon was not pleased.

How long will my happy life last?

The Exanondus, Part 2

Previously, on EvE Online’s #1 Best Blog

Exanon Alleile arrived in Nakugard, to claim a FREE Mackinaw.

Exanon waited, whilst Princess Aiko spoke with Javen.

Eventually, Exanon obtained an audience with the High Heroin of Highsec.

It was decided that Exanon would tour all four empires.

Eystur – Avada = 185 jumps

At this point, a whiteknight intervened.

It was time to stop messing around.

Escrow agents reviewed Exanon’s case.

An offer was made, and accepted.

Exanon set sail for Dodixie, to claim a container.

There was just one problem.

Can you guess what was in the container?

Find out next time, on The Exanondus, Part 3!

To be continued…