Kiara Gone Wild, Part 3

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 1

Previously, in AikoSpace (that’s MySpace)… Kiara lost a Retriever, and a Drekavac. She didn’t like this, so she decided to investigate.

Karma Bad > pay Princess Aiko Danuja
Kiara Wildmann > thats a whore sorry but a whore and not a princess

Her investigation led to me, as all things do.

Kiara Wildmann > if that a princess than she would take care that this law link gets sprayed around the system

Kiara envisioned an alternative to Fozzie sov. What if one could claim space, simply by urinating on random bushes, trees, and metal poles? Regardless, Kiara claimed ignorance of existing game mechanics, and claimed immunity.

Kiara Wildmann > i hang here a week around in jita and i didnt read anything about that im local chat

Kiara spent a full week carefully reading the special offers in Jita, and not once did she hear anything about me, the Code, the New Order, or James 315.

Karma Bad > just do a google search
Kiara Wildmann > really?

Karma offered good advice, but Kiara wasn’t listening.

Kiara Wildmann > again
Kiara Wildmann > and again i say it
Kiara Wildmann > i didn´t know it
Kiara Wildmann > if i didnt know it that its exists so HOW i should google it?
Kiara Wildmann > explaine that
Kiara Wildmann > HOW
Kiara Wildmann > HOW i do that
Kiara Wildmann > i cant google something that i never heard about it or know it thats it exists right or wrong?

Like most miners, Kiara was not calm, and just wanted a Marshal.

Kiara Wildmann > what the fuck i want in highsec never was my goal i´m just in jita to buying a fucking marshal and flying back to minmatar what the fuck i want in your or They lovely fucking highsec?
Karma Bad > dunno
Kiara Wildmann > so explaine how i can google it if i dont know it?
Kiara Wildmann > two times i got ganked
Kiara Wildmann > so shooting down every player that didn´t know thats exists and cashing isk from that is fair or how i should understand you? they didnt contact me they just shooting me down zxc had a warp interupter so i could fly away so or so not whats the fucking big deal to hold me down and contact me?
Karma Bad > sounds about right
Kiara Wildmann > read it again
Karma Bad > correct
Kiara Wildmann > wheres the big deal to interupt my warp and contact me with a warning that i get shoot if i dont pay no interupt the warp shoot me down than say NOW YOU KNOW IT NOW PAY WOW thats great thats sounds fiar oh sorry concord is my problem?
Kiara Wildmann > contact first he will see it if the player or bot are about to warp and interupt it than shoot it down so again or should we stop now? how can a player that he doesnt know that the law link exists goggle it?
Karma Bad > Code is always accepting more enforcers, to help spread the word, if you believe there should be a different way.

Miners can’t become gankers, they are psychologically incapable. However, as a courtesy, we always offer the opportunity.

Karma Bad > but…. it also sounds like you dont like aiko
Karma Bad > so….

Liking me, like like liking me, is absolutely required by law.

Kiara Wildmann > i dont like her how she act with now you know it now pay no one cames to me and tells me theres a law link nobody here in jita and around of jita so basicly i dont know it explain how i should know it if the big list of players here to spread the word i DONT pay that why i should pay for someting that i didnt know?
Karma Bad > ….
Kiara Wildmann > its not my fault that your playerbase to lazy to spread the word i´m not unwilling but explain why i should pay for something i didnt know you would pay for a visit store after to want to get out of the store and the storeowner tells you you have to payed the entry? what fines?
Karma Bad > there are fines
Kiara Wildmann > what thats means
Karma Bad > its just to bring you into compliance
Kiara Wildmann > would you pay the price to enter a store after you wants to leave this store? fact you didnt know you have to pay the enter price after leaving so explain what we do? i dont pay something nobody explains nobody calls it and i dont mean eve i mean a fucking regular store world wide in every city but i´m not unwilling sounds just not fair for a new player
Karma Bad > its just the law

Karma wanted to help, but Kiara was uncivilized.

Kiara Wildmann > dont go this way i´m not trying to break a law, i cant break a law if i dont know it! we had that point already noone cames to me and explains that nobody gave me the information about that link we had that point thats impossible to google something if the person dont know it now you come with trying to break the law
Karma Bad > yea
Kiara Wildmann > you offered me your help your asking me if you can help so explain i´m not unwilling but that price is for not knowing anything really unfair
Karma Bad > Aiko is the ruler of all

Karma decided to focus on basic facts.

Karma Bad > you have to take it directly to aiko and beg her forgiveness
Kiara Wildmann > no no i´m not begging í´m not unwilling but i will not begging i want refund my retriever i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk and i will no longer mining around jita but for that i want my retriever and my peace i leaving jita to and travel back to my home location i pay the isk i called but i want my peace and my retriever
Karma Bad > send it to the princess

Did you catch that?

i´m willing to pay 300.000.000isk 

To be continued…


Kiara Gone Wild, Part 2

Previously, in Aikospace… Kiara lost her retriever, and promptly demanded more attention. Before long, she was the star of her own story.

Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of a law of a link i dont got the link i dont got the link after i fly from jita nobody sends me that link so i never knew its against a law now you just trying to get isk from me trying to payed trying to bully me so i payed this price thats bullying thats scam from my vision your the criminal thats bullyng other fear them so they payed this fucking price

When Grey is around, miners die twice.

Kiara paid a ransom, but it wasn’t enough.

Vestrian’s Cove is no place for little miners!

Grey is pretty honest about his playstyle.

However, Kiara was still not happy.

Grey left her with some friendly advice.

Kiara decided to contact customer service.

From: Kiara Wildmann
Sent: 2021.06.24 22:17
To: Karma Bad,

whats the matter speaking of helping speaking of i should explain whats going on and now silents?

Please hold for the next available operator…

Re: Karma’s Help Chat
From: Kiara Wildmann
Sent: 2021.06.24 22:20
To: Karma Bad,

can whe chat over the normal chat is much easy for me?

Karma invited her back to Why Was I Ganked?

Kiara Wildmann > i got two times ganked well second time was my failure to trust him but first time i got ganked from zxc idc name i didnt know it was against a law i never knew it i never knew it that this link exists
Karma Bad > ok
Kiara Wildmann > i got no information about it nobody message me i would stealing ore and they would shoot me down, no nothing no input or anything else
Kiara Wildmann > doesnt explain where i can find that link that law after i undock from jita and enter that system explain where i can find that law? where i get that link? when i new to jita and the systems around it?
Kiara Wildmann > so now i should pay a way to much high price to join a corp and get a new miner retriever sounds that fair to you? is that fair for a new player who thinks on no bad things?
Kiara Wildmann > making fun of a new player because of the killboard making fun of that and this sounds that fair to you? i guess not
Karma Bad > pay Princess Aiko Danuja
Kiara Wildmann > thats a whore sorry but a whore and not a princess

Kiara was about to make a new friend!

To be continued…

Kiara Gone Wild

Maybe it was AFK, or improperly fit, or excessively mining.

For whatever reason, Sleepy Joe and zxc decided to shoot a barge.

Kiara Wildmann > i got no message no information
Kiara Wildmann > no input!
Akasha Thorne > well then
Kiara Wildmann > nobody message me
zxcxzx > now you know
Kiara Wildmann > now i know fuck you off no input no message just warp in and shoot me down you didn´t contact me and say here you need to pay or we shoot
Akasha Thorne > oof

Kiara was not pleased.

zxcxzx > Buy a permit, and you will know Safety.
Kiara Wildmann > buy me first a new retriever

She tried to negotiate.

zxcxzx > That ore is not yours to take
Kiara Wildmann > and from who from where i should know that? is there a sign Hey thats not yours?
Akasha Thorne > it’s unfortunate that you chose not to educate yourself as to applicable law
Kiara Wildmann > what law?
Sirius Threestar > Calm down miner.
Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of law speaking of stealing where the fuck i should know that?
Kiara Wildmann > WHERE is the lay WHERE i can read it
Akasha Thorne >
Kiara Wildmann > you just warp in and shoot me down i never know that link i never know that law
Akasha Thorne > welcome to life as a law-abiding citizen 🙂
Kiara Wildmann > i never got that link i never got the information so why i should pay for something i dont know

Other miners began to weigh in.

Claus Von Munchen > paying bullies to not bully you, great idea
Akasha Thorne > Paying law enforcement agents for proper licensing. This is the cornerstone of a civilized society.
Claus Von Munchen > lol; CODE retards are not law enforcement agents sorry
Akasha Thorne > your ableist language is offensive. we do not use the R-slur here.
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not lawlessness
Akasha Thorne > you just admitted to having hopped into a mining vessel
Kiara Wildmann > nobody sends me a link nobody message me
Kiara Wildmann > you just trying to get some isk from me
Akasha Thorne > this is about the law, not personal enrichment
Kiara Wildmann > what fucking law?
Akasha Thorne > the one you violated
Sirius Threestar > Kiara Wildmann, you’re a thick one aren’t you?
Kiara Wildmann > you still speak of a law what law where i can find this law
Akasha Thorne > you need to train reading comprehension to at least 1

Miners often struggle to represent themselves in court.

Kiara Wildmann > you speaking of a law of a link i dont got the link i dont got the link after i fly from jita nobody sends me that link so i never knew its against a law now you just trying to get isk from me trying to payed trying to bully me so i payed this price thats bullying thats scam from my vision your the criminal thats bullyng other fear them so they payed this fucking price
Akasha Thorne > calm down miner
zxcxzx > language miner!
Kiara Wildmann > oh dont worry zxc idc name i´m just here in jita to buy a ship after that you will never find me again in jita so screw your permit screw your bully price 😉

Kiara felt invincible.

Claus Von Munchen > FYI to any actual miners in here; just stop using Machinaws, Hulks, and Retrievers and you won’t get ganked anymore; stick with Procurers
Spread > they ganked my procurer
Kiara Wildmann > the fuck you are trying
Kiara Wildmann > thats just worthless ganking and trying to make bully isk
Kiara Wildmann > oh dont worry i´m not broken
Kiara Wildmann > if i would that i had payed your bitchi ass

Other miners continued to interrupt her monologue.

Claus Von Munchen > you’re called “Saftey” now because James is dead
hiboman man > he is alive
hiboman man > bring back James
hiboman man > you liers
hiboman man > he is not dead
hiboman man > i love you James 315
Akasha Thorne > there was even a funeral
hiboman man > no
hiboman man > he is still alive infact i sw him gank someone yesterday on zkill
Kiara Wildmann > shooting me down and trying to get isk from me for a law link i didnt get
zxcxzx > Kiara Wildmann you still crying?
Kiara Wildmann > i undock from jita and fly around for mining nobody message me thats against the law nobody sends me that link so basicly Akasha “click” please activate your brain i didn´t know its against the law “hope your brain works” so basicly mr. zxcxzx just gank me without warning me he used a waro interupter so i couldn´t fly away so or so not!
Kiara Wildmann > so wheres the problem to hold me down not shoot me down and message me its against the law?

Akasha wanted to help.

Akasha Thorne > listen
Kiara Wildmann > your not even listen to me Akasha so screw you
Kiara Wildmann > they just trying to get isk from me now trying to get isk
hiboman man > and what are you going to do
Akasha Thorne > you’re so mad over pixels
Kiara Wildmann > i´m not mad about the isk or the ship i´m mad that worthless scum thats dare to put such words in they own dirty mouth flying around bullying others and trying to make so isk
hiboman man > Kiara Wildmann i´m actualy scared of them that i just joined PH and now i live in null sec
zxcxzx > Kiara Wildmann you are now being hunted
Kiara Wildmann > i give a fuck
Claus Von Munchen > honestly Safety. might be the saddest group in the game, I feel sorry for you guys

Alas, Kiara was on tilt, and about to explode…

To be continued…

The Best Revenge, Part 98

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, in Aiko’s EVE… One year ago, the Second Great War began with the vile duplicity of the Double Trader, Vily. All of this was anticipated by avia naali (aka aiva naali), a Highsec Orca pilot who vaulted to the highest ranks of Goonswarm.

Fortunately for the Swarm, Grandübergroßführer ‘lil Bullet anticipated the outbreak of hostilities, and was prepared for a two-front war.

avia ordered a series of sharp counterattacks to cover his withdrawal from Geminite. As always, Princess Aiko served as his personal liaison with the rest of Goonswarm, keeping him advised on every development.

Together, they conspired to foment civil war, between Pandemic Horde and Pandemic Legion. From time to time, the Mittani would encrypt hidden messages inside a public address, personally communicating with his overlord, avia.

While mining in Kamio, avia swept TEST from their staging regines, cutting off reinforcements. Subsequently, he began systematically shreading enemy structures. He also decided to purchase a personal command rorqual, toyed with a plan to bankrupt Perimeter Tranquility Trading Tower, and he applied to Karmafleet University.

When Princess Aiko was unavailable, Slackbot served as a trusted confidant, and was even given direct command of the Stain counteroffensive.

avia also nurtured the Homefront, employing cargo expanded Charons to rapidly move ore from “the box”, where heroic full digg speed rorquals conducted mining with the same vigour as any frontline soldier.

avia’s glorious counteroffensive blunted the enemy advance, but the front gradually stabilized, and Goonswarm was forced unto the defensive. Nevertheless, avia was a brilliant strategist, rallying the Swarm behind a wall of cynbo jams.

Meanwhile, he nervously eyed his application to Karmafleet.

It was time to pay his dues.

Even the leader of Goonswarm has to pay taxes.

To be continued…


The Best Revenge, Part 97

The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78

Previously, in Aikotopia… Highsec miner anaCheeya ANARKY lost his Orca, and fell into a CODE. rabbit hole. Before long, he was living a life of intrigue and danger, securing an ironclad grip upon the mighty Goonswarm Federation. He also changed his name, several times, before settling upon avia naali (aka aiva naali).

Within the elite Goonswarm Führerbunker, somewhere outside of 1DQ, avia held court with his most trusted assistant, Princess Aiko.

Together, they prepared to accept the humiliating surrender of that whore, Elise Randolph, who would be imprisoned in Kamio.

Elise would spend the rest of her miserable days as a mining Tayra, desperately scrounging for Veldspar in Kamio IV’s belt 4 III’s belt 1.

When avia noticed that the Minerbumping blog was dead, Princess Aiko explained that it was all part of the plan.

Meanwhile, avia developed his own plans, for combat can flipping.

He continued to serve as Chairman of the Delve Racing League.

As always, avia developed Goonswarm’s most elite doctrines.

Sometimes, avia wondered if Aiko was listening. Oh, there she is!

A two front war was imminent, and avia ordered Goonswarm to teir 6.

Channeling Sun Tzu, avia masterminded the entire course of the war. Goonswarm would withdraw, abandoning the floodplains and unreal Delve, allowing the enemy to exhaust themselves on skanktrap Keepstar timers. Only then, over a year later, would the Swarm finally begin to counter break.

The dance team, a pinnacle of Goon high culture, was suddenly disbanded.

World War Bee was just getting started (again)…



Happy Highsec

I know how to keep miners happy.

First, you shoot them.

Then, you have a conversation.

Usually, they cry.

Let them express their feelings.

Eventually, you can find common ground.

It’s not hard to figure out what miners want.

They need a friend.

For a bit of money, they can finally be happy.

Don’t let them scam you with a sob story.

Take their isk.

This gives them a sense of purpose.

They just want to belong.

They love it.


no title, dont care!

Don’t be a silly miner!

Just calm down.

If you want to AFK, just go to lowsec.

Either way, you’ll need a permit.

We have a sliding fee scale, for your convenience.

We even accept collateral.

Just pay what you can, thank you!

You can pay right now!

Hey, I just want you to be safe.

I want you to be happy.

So cheer up, miners, I’m here to help.

Everything will be ok.


James was a good man, but he didn’t know the value of a mining permit.

Sales is all about integrity.

Come to the cold dark vacuum of outer space, and I’ll sell you a whole lot of nothing.

Some people just want to stamp their bio with my name.

Everybody loves a winner.

So step right up!

I can address all your concerns.

Why buy just one, when you can buy two?

Trust me, you aren’t the only one.

Permit pride!

Mining permits are a sensible option for your personal Safety.

No matter your income, we have a payment plan that fits your budget.

I’m here to help!

Even if you are broke, we can work out a suitable trade.

It’s a real pleasure doing business in New Eden.

Stay in touch!

Doing great!

Why would I gank a barge?

Red Monke found out why.

His ORE gadgets were gone, and he wasn’t pleased.

I didn’t want to spacebully him, but he reached out, desperate for assistance.

He briefly tried some space lawyer tactics.

However, the law is self-explanatory.

He was ready to accept me, as his personal Heroin.

I love to help newbros.

It was a pleasure doing business with him.

I am looking forward to our future relationship.

See ya later!

Kelroth, Part 7

Kelroth, Part 1

Previously, in the Princess Diaries… Kelroth‘s new friends identified Brutus as the trader, so Kelroth fired his Bible-thumping security director. Seeking revenge, Brutus gave all his stuff to Princess Aiko. Afterward, Brutus became a galactic space preacher, teaching the citizens of New Eden about Jesus and the flat Earth.

Shortly thereafter, Kelroth went on a tirade against Lovin, in Amarr local.

Following several hours of continuous IRL death threat spam…

…Kelroth’s long life was cut short by carebear devs.

This was a perfect opportunity to seize control of his corporation.

Under new management, miners began to protest.

They claimed Mr Lovin, not Brutus, was the real Lovin spy.

It was a dark era for DarkStar.

Fortunately, Kelroth could still access one of his alts…

…until CCP noticed.

Kelroth’s only option was to create a new character entirely.

On Teamspeak, he explained his plan was to purchase back everything CCP had stolen from him. However, spies were lurking. Therefore, Kelroth declared that he would hereby appoint a new security director.

He couldn’t have made a better choice.

For safekeeping, Kelroth Toke deposited his remaining wealth with Lilath.

Sievert began to cry (again), because Kelorth gave him nothing.

Meanwhile, everyone believed that Sievert was the real Lovin!

Sievert tried his best to be a white knight.

Sievert was disturbed that Kelroth’s wife enjoyed sexual gang bondage.

Therefore, Sievert informed CCP that Aiko is a relentless seductress.

However, some believe that Sievert was just jealous.

What do you think?

Undoubtedly, CCP is taking the allegations very seriously.

Alas, Kelroth decided that he no longer wanted to hang out.

As for Aiko, she continues to work as a space marriage counselor.