Listening to: Space Strippers

TrueRoyalty has a religious faith.

The earthquakes in Turkey and Syria were inspiring.

Like most miners, True is one of the good guys.

Antigankers love the miners.

Remember, CCP said that gankers are griefers!

Miners are God’s chosen people.

In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.

TrueRoyalty roleplays as a crazy person (in real life).

You reap what you sow!

Barnso Strikes Back

Previously, we met Barnso.

Unfortunately, Barnso did not fly safe.

What happened?

At least he likes me.

Barnso applied for SRP.

Barnso was excited to win 6.21 billion isk.

So he sent me a portion of his prize money.

He also tipped Sargon.

What a nice guy!



Molly continues to bump the Miner Hunting Service.

I love my space job!

Miner Hunting Service

Listening to: Bubblegum Bitch

The MHS continues to earn dividends.

Send me isk, and your dreams will come true!

I love to help!

I’m like BLACKFLAG, but way more profitable.


Just listen to these customer testimonials.

Haha, I love EvE Online.


Got a figure like a pin-up, got a figure like a doll
Don’t care if you think I’m dumb, I don’t care at all
Carebear, sweetie pie, wanna be adored
I’m the girl you’ll die for

I’ll chew you up, and I’ll spit you out
‘Cause that’s what ganking, is all about
So watch me close and orbit me hard
I’m gonna pop your bubblegum heart

I’m Miss Sugar Pink, liquor, liquor purple lips
Hit me with your sweet love, steal me with an isk

I’m a queentex, latex, I’m a ganking maid
Life gave me some lemons, so I made some lemonade
You will pop, baby, here I come
Straight to number one!

Oh, dear diary, I met a boy
He made my doll heart light up with joy
Oh, dear diary, his ship fell apart
Welcome to my life in EvE Online

lorrenzo nub’s REVENGE

lorrenzo nub, Part 1

Previously, we met miner lorrenzo.

He owed me money.

We settled on a compromise.

He would pay me to stop posting about him.

A fair bargain!

I was excited to show my TRUE nature.

I filled lorrenzo with that PvP spirit.

Don’t listen to the whiners.

Ganking is fun!

lorrenzo finally understands how to play EvE Online.

A happy ending!

lorrenzo nub Fails Again

Previously, we met lorrenzo nub.

lorrenzo doesn’t like us.

So he began building a space army.

However, first he went mining.

Ahbazon is a SAFE space.

As a findom, I expect tribute.

Of course, he also needed a mining permit.

Lorrenzo was happy, because mining permits are real.

Oh no!

Drone Task Force was on the case…

To be continued…


Not all miners are IRL crybabies.

Some miners even get it.

Barnso was happy to meet a real-life Princess.

He likes the Why Was I Ganked? channel.

Barnso just wants to relax.

I know how to make men happy.

Barnso enjoyed his time with me.

Send isk, and help me build a SAFE space!

I don’t mind.

Barnso even wrote a poem!

What a good boy!


That’s right!

Seek Help

Play EvE Online responsibly.

Experienced agents are standing by.

We want to help you.

However, this is just a game.

Help is available.

I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.

You are not a victim. You are an addict.

Seek help, in real life.

Listen to me very carefully.

Personal responsibility starts with YOU.

Empower yourself.

I recommend therapy.


Ya know?