Stay SAFE!

Heh.

Some people don’t like me.

Some do.

Either way, I get a lot of attention from the boys.

I make them soo excited.

Here’s a little secret.

I like to kill miners.

That turns me on.

Stay SAFE!

Great!

Hey there!

I’m so hot right now.

Word is getting around.

I’m one of the greatest capsuleers, ever.

EVE is dying, and that means I’m going straight to the top.

Right now, I’m smugging on two decades of failed losers.

I’m going to kill all the miners.

My friends are going to help.

When CCP goes bankrupt, I’ll be #1.

I know exactly what carebears need.

It’s gonna be fun!

That’s right!

Bee well!

A Day With Aiko

As a businesswoman, I do well, by doing great.

Let’s spend a day with Aiko.

First, I check in with VIP clientele.

Then I inspect the miner’s gulag.

Everything looks good!

What’s the news on Reddit?

How are the boys on Twitch?

Oh look, it’s time for foreign diplomacy.

Ok, press conference!

Now, let’s get down to business.

An intriguing offer, but no business permit?

First things first! Always!

I’m doing great!

*****

BONUS CONTENT

Sargon made another video! I look good in black!

He also translated the CODE. into Gallente!

Ok!

June 22

Yesterday was the anniversary of an important moment in CODE. history.

It was on that day, one year ago, that Super Perforator made the asinine decision to squabble with Alt 00. That was dumb, although it worked out well for me.

Alt had written a nice email, suggesting that the purpose of the alliance was to euthanize miners, and warned that some individuals (unnamed) were undermining that effort with carebear roleplay. I wonder who?

In response, Super wrote a lot of mails, declining to attend James 315‘s funeral.

Although James politely ignored Super, the wayward gankbear took this as a sign, that James wanted the alliance to be a roleplay guild. This led to the August intervention in Discord, where Loyalanon, Globby, and Tweeps found common cause in their disdain. It was here that Loyalanon famously said, “We need Aiko on this big CODE. dick. Am I right, boyos?” I was truly flattered, and the succession crisis was over.

BONUS CONTENT

Lazar us (aka Coach Subway) continues to entertain with salty plebbery.

It is a mystery, why he streams daily, and then always regret his decision. Fortunately, there has been a committed effort to preserve the historical record. I enjoyed Episode 4! Of course, Lazar us has vowed to file an international justice lawsuit, to remove his public content from the public domain. Good luck!

I recently made an appearance on Twitch, where Coach confronted me.

He doesn’t like women.

He’s in love with Evan.

He doesn’t like that I’ve dunked on him repeatedly.

He began to cry, irl.

He began to curse.

He continued to cry.

He was feeling emotional.

He is running out of money.

Eventually, James came to my rescue. My hero!

It was a fun time!

AFK

Sometimes, miners are AFK.

Sometimes, they are semi-AFK.

Are they ever not AFK?

Sometimes, they are in the bathroom.

Or, they are outside.

Sometimes, they are pleasuring themselves.

Or, they are doing mindless medical ‘research’.

Sometimes, they are playing dress up.

Or, they are at work.

Basically, they just aren’t paying attention.

It’s our duty to euthanize them.

The Wormhole

I’m the most honest person in EVE Online.

The truth is right here, always!

It’s not hard to understand.

I like money.

I just can’t help it.

I want more.

I need it so bad.

Give me all your money.

Thanks!

Honestly, I like Xack. No cap. He’s a cool guy, and a great pilot…

…however, I don’t sell wormholes.

Or do I?

To be continued…

Welcome to the Drunk Zone

Hi!

I <3 Uedama.

You see the most amazing sights here.

Ever since we evacuated Delve, we’ve been in the Drunk Zone.

That’s right! We needed Safety.

Uedama is real Delve.

It’s a strategic location.

This is where we get you.

See ya there!

 

Thanks!

Miners just want someone to talk with.

New players are often shocked to realize that, unlike PUBG or CoD, they can actually have a conversation with the people who are killing them.

When they realize they got beat by a girl, this often leads to an awkward moment, as it’s the first time they’ve ever actually spoken to a young lady.

I offer every new player a free isk triple.

It’s a pivotal moment in their space adventure, choosing to send their small pittance to me, instead of buying a new Venture.

I am so glad they are content.

I love helping newbros.

They all deserve a little attention.

Why do you think I do it?

It’s simple.

I’m a content creator.

whateverdontcare

I’m doing great. That’s amazing.

Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.

Together, we can make a difference.

We might even make a little money…

…and a few new friends!

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 7

Kiara Gone Wild, Part 1

Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…

…and another 10 million…

Actually, she still owes 10 million.

Kiara was running out of money.

She couldn’t even afford insurance.

Everyone was pleased.

Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.

She waited and waited.

I suppose waiting is relaxing.

Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.

The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.

She wondered when her shipment would arrive.

She waited and waited.

Then she waited some more.

The end.

BONUS CONTENT

Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!

Ultimately, Kiara was content.