F Off!

Miners are always happy to see me.

I’m their best friend (and their legal guardian).

w/e

I’ve been busy, and I just want to relax.

I’m sure you understand.

I’ve received a lot of feedback and suggestions.

That’s great!

What is with miners and cancer?

Well, ok then.

Friends Forever

A working girl has bills to pay.

I like when men notice me.

aphunmc gave me a great idea.

MarshallTeagan > so if you wanna take care of you permit aphreshmc for 30mil for 1 year we can do that?
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan i will literally shit down ur moms throat
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc if i had a billion isk i could stand up to these fuckers
Aiko Danuja > id buy myself a faction jammer and fuck them up
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan im gnna kill u
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc can i have 50 million isk please
aphreshmc > k
Aiko Danuja > thanks friend
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc Can I borrow another 50 million isk please?
Aiko Danuja > Thank you friend.
aphreshmc > frendz
aphreshmc > D:

I would take money from him and his alts.

I love borrowing from friends.

It’s the best part of EVE.

This is how I play.

I’m your best friend, always!

Aiko Danuja > aphunmc can i borrow 50 million isk please
aphunmc > i just spent ALL my isk
Zeroskillzz > aphunmc can i borrow 50 mil to give to Aiko?
aphunmc > Aiko Danuja arent u like in charge here?

I’m in charge of this friendship.

That’s right.

Some girls are mean.

I’ll put a spell on you.

All I want is bling.

Ya know?

I deserve it.

I’m entitled.

Another Victory

Previously, in Highsec… someone has been hunting down blingy furry marauders, snuffing out their pitiful yiffs in a dark abyss…

The EVE community was in shock.

Subsequently, Victor Medvil (a powerful Highsec miner, with advanced military-industrial skills) began publicly denouncing me.

Since I am open-minded, I wondered if this were true. This was my #METOO moment. The truth about Aiko was out! My organization was orchestrating an intergalactic conspiracy of mental illness related sexual abuse. Allegedly.

Reporters were requesting my appearance on the Intergalactic News Network, where I was expected to admit my involvement in sexual terrorism.

I drafted a response, but it felt empty and hollow. Something was missing. I needed to find a way to prove, once and for all, that I am pure Heroin.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. I would set myself an impossible task, a feat that would even impress James 315. I would convince staticfxx’s boydogfriend to calm down, accept me as High Princess, and purchase a mining permit.

Some people say that I’m a witch.

That’s right.

Furry Problems

Being the leader of a major EVE alliance isn’t all fun and games. From time to time, I must deal with serious ethical issues, in outerspace.

I had just woken up, and was alerted to a developing crisis.

Someone, who is not in my alliance, dunked a Highsec miner.

Consequently, another Highsec miner (who doesn’t have a permit) has vowed to stop supporting my old alliance, CODE. This quickly became an animal rights issue, as staticfxx (and his boyfriend) identify as dogs.

The barnyard was abuzz, and my inbox soon filled with messages, as dog rights activists demanded action against the goose bees. Honkbzz.

Victor left several elements out of his complaint. For example, he was in the mining fleet, and none of them had a mining permit. Come on Victor, you know better. You tried to play yourself as an objective bystander, but you were the aggressor! Yes, Victor started the fight, when he attempted to gank a goose. Furthermore, moments before he was ganked, staticfxx went AFK to “grab munchies” and “take a poop”.

Prophetically, when the miners accepted their mission in Kamio, they praised God for giving them a mission in 0.7 (as they were tired of mining in 0.8). Yes, God sent them to Kamio, and God passed divine judgment upon them.

I initially assumed that staticfxx was ganked for the same reason every other miner is ganked. They all deserve to die. Right? After all, there are furry gankers. There are gay gankers. I’ll even come out of the closet, and acknowledge that I kissed a girl, and I liked it. Oh, yes. Indeed, after I went to staticfxx’s Twitch channel (to investigate crimes against humanity), I discovered another reason to gank.

staticfxx’s boy dogfriend has a bad attitude.

Never in my life, have I been subjected to such abuse, from an uptight hypersensitive dogsplaining cartoon. When I told him it that I’m a feminist, and I deserve to be treated with respect, it said this was a “low blow”. However, it has no qualms about pulling the “furry” card on me. That’s some real hypocrisy!

I don’t care if you identify as a cartoon. However, you shouldn’t expect people to take this seriously. Indeed, the miners didn’t take it seriously. After the gank, they said they “don’t care” about the “pathetic” attack from “108” Catalysts. They claimed to have so much money, they could buy our mom’s house, and kick us out of the basement. Nevertheless, a little sparrow supercarrier began chirping loudly.

You can hide behind a cartoon avatar, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to come into our galaxy, and start doing whatever you want. Everybody is required to purchase a mining permit, including crybaby furries.

I’m truly sorry, but ‘furry’ just isn’t one of the select minority groups protected under the venerated Code of Newe Halaima.

While I personally don’t target furries (nor is there evidence anyone in, or out of, my alliance has ever done so), your boyfriend’s fursona is not protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1968. Please note that sexuality and species are distinct characteristics, and if you truly identify as a dog, you should expect to be treated like one. If I ever see a dog playing EVE Online, I am definitely going to gank it. I like cats.

Now, it might be true that someone targeted this miner, because he is a dog. Woof! It is also possible that someone merely messaged the miner, and said this, without it being true. It may be that nothing was said. I don’t know. What I do know, is that I don’t fly a blingy Marauder, and neither should you (or your dog).

Get it Done

This is how it’s done.

I’m a miner’s best friend.

I’m here to help!

I’m the best.

I’ve sure come a long way.

Would you like to know more?

That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.

Everybody knows what happened.

Sometimes, these things happen.

Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.

Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.

Feel free to join me.

We can have a lot of fun.

You know what I mean?

It’s gonna be great.

I’m Aiko!

Thanks for the support!

That’s right!

Rusell

As with the old MinerBumping blog, there is often rancorous debate over who deserves acknowledgement, when, why, and how much.

As always, shoutouts are available for the low price of just 1 billion per shoutout. As an example, I will give a PAID shoutout to Bei QiAo. If I had a hat, I’d tip it, but I don’t. You are doing a great job buddy, keep up the good work.

非常好

WE NOW RETURN
TO OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE

Rusell has been antiganking for awhile.

He’s not very good at it.

James 315 found Rusell amusing. I would know, because we’d stay up late at night, holding hands and talking about the blog.

James was right all along… Rusell is an odd duck. My sources in the antiganking community tell me that he has been trying to rile them up against me (me!), as a part of a campaign to literally remove PvP from Highsec.

Even dedicated antigankers find him to be an extremist.

Now that I’ve become James 315 (in real life, but not in game), Rusell has found himself orbiting me endlessly, at all hours of the day. Wherever I go, there he is! He doesn’t do much, but he is awful chatty.

Recently, I told him of my plans for an Aiko statue.

Like James before me, Rusell awaits my inevitable permaban.

Rusell positively hates me!

I’m next on his list.

Why did Rusell become a career antiganker?

He’s a very private man.


However, he recently opened up about his feelings.

He likes Notepad, and hates PvP.

We had a private conversation.

He apologized profusely.

I now have his explicit consent to gank.

He left me with one piece of advice.

Victory!

If you have official private communications for the CODE. alliance (not for me), feel free to contact Aiko, and I will summarize for James 315. Such manifestos are typically rambling and incoherent, but I’ll highlight the best part.

Ok! This is a common trait.

Likewise, Coach Subway is back, and he is not easily embarrassed either.

I’m sure glad to be in my alliance.

It feels pretty darn good.

Of course, things could be better.

Those who know me, are aware I’m a little disappointed with how some people are choosing to spend their time in this alliance.

It’s most disappointing. I shall have to go all out on some modifications. However, I am proud of myself, and those of you who are doing good work. Lately, I’m thinking of Gurt, Barnes, and Aveve. If I had a hat, I’d tip it.

Someday, I will look back on this, as our era of trials and tribulations, when we had to endure every humiliation and disgrace. People thought we weren’t a real alliance, just a carboncopy of a silly meme from 2012. Apparently, there are those who just value their secret nullsec operation a little more than our unimportant Highsec alliance. All of these people will fall in line, or they will be gnashing their teeth.

CODE. always had this same problem. Some people, it seems, just don’t take pride in their alliance, because their main isn’t even it. They’ve got some other alliance, that they value more. Isn’t that right?

We will defeat the carebears. All of them.

It’s my birthright.

Oh yes, Vily. I’ll keep you nice and SAFE.

WoW!

Something amazing is happening in Highsec.

Only one alliance dares to confront the mining menace.

We know exactly how to deal with miners.

We can help them all.

A dead miner is a compliant miner.

An empty belt is a compliant belt.

Just say no to mining.

It’s what James always wanted.

Cheers!

My Business

My business is Highsec business, and I mean business.

When I discovered Tathar mining in an 0.9, I was absolutely disgusted. He’s been playing since 2011, and mining in an 0.9!

I finally got his attention.

He was ashamed. However, when asked to purchase a mining permit, Tather began to extort me. He threatened to quit, unless he could mine for free!

Meanwhile, he worried I might shoot his ship (again).

Perhaps I might give it back, if he obeys the law?

Tathar wanted his ship, but he didn’t like having to pay for it. He just wanted to relax, and make isk while doing something else.

We had a little debate about governance and property rights.

I had to exert my authority.

He prophesied that EVE is dying, and it is Aiko, Destroyer of Miners, who will be the ultimate undoing of the AFK caste.

I tried one last time to be reasonable.

Some people say I’m a beeutiful witch. Bzzbzz.

That’s right. I’m a wasp.

Pay me.

It works like a charm.

It’s not roleplay.

This is serious space business.