PAHMH

James is a returning newbro… recently undead, if you will.

Something intrigued him.

0.9 is no joke!

How could anything not survive in high security?

To investigate, James joined a Highsec new player corporation.

Here, he was met with a question…

For his semester project, he utilized applied demining theory.

Suddenly, everything changed.

So now he saves the miners, from themselves.

One good deed, deserves another.

James knows where miners go, when they die.

Staying Busy

Jax Ranius > cunts

Tina DeWalt > FAGGETS
Tina DeWalt > STUPID FUCKS
Tina DeWalt > AGAIN
Tina DeWalt > STUPID FUCKS
Tina DeWalt > GET LOST
Tina DeWalt > FIND A DIFFERENT SYSTEM
Tina DeWalt > STOP GANKING MINERS YOU DUMB FUCKS
Zopiclone > Miner calm down
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU
Tina DeWalt > GET OUT OF MY SYSTEM

Miners are crazy!

Zopiclone > Your system?
Tina DeWalt > YEP
Zopiclone > You seem to be lost…
Tina DeWalt > OR SHOULD I HUNT YOU ALL DOWN ONE AT A TIME AND GANK YOUR ASSES
Zopiclone > You dont have a Valid Mining Permit.
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU AND YOUR DUMB SHIT
Tina DeWalt > HOW’S THAT FOR A PERMIT?
Zopiclone > You will require a Mining Permit for both of your Hulks
Tina DeWalt > FUCK YOU
Tina DeWalt > GO FUCK YOURSELF
Zopiclone > And because you swore you will pay 200 Million ISK per ship for the year
Tina DeWalt > YEAH NOT HAPPENING
Zopiclone > Calm down Miner

Tina had more to say.

Tina DeWalt > I THINK I’M GOING TO HUNT YOU ALL DOWN ONE AT A TIME AND GANK YOUR ASSES
Tina DeWalt > SOUNDS LIKE FUN TO ME
Tina DeWalt > I WILL GANK BACK REMEMBER THAT
Zopiclone > Sounds like youre over reacting…
Tina DeWalt > kill yourself and do us all a favor
Zopiclone > In game right?

PLOT TWIST: Tina is not a miner.

Tina DeWalt > I don’t mine lol i pretend
Zopiclone > I am really trying to understand…
RRISNER > Gankers are cowards and don’t know how to actually play Eve Online. Enjoy your moment of glory for it will never come again.
Zopiclone > ….??? It comes every 20 minutes

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #243

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #242

Let’s read some old mails.

I get a lot of EvEmail.

This month, we are offering blue passes for just one billion isk.

Well, hello there.

Some miners struggle to communicate.

I have secret agents across the galaxy.

It’s just a lot of fan mail.

Cheerzah!

I’m the Supreme Secretary of Highsec.

Epic salt, in the dustbin of history.

Hrothgar roleplays as ‘New Order’, but anti-CODE.

Nobody likes paranoid Hrothgar (including Lewak)

For all practical purposes, Hrothgar writes a lot.

I’m the best ganker in the history of EvE Online.

Highsec Griefing

I try to follow the rules.

However, some people don’t play by the rules.

There are soo many griefers in EvE Online!

I call it Griefers Online.

Jason Longshot tried to stop me from playing.

OmG!

This is extortion and racketeering!

Judgment was at hand…

Why?

I needed to make money, fast!

Alas, the miners began running a train on me…

WtF!

I was banned from the outer spaces…

…as grief miners took pleasure in my emotional distress.

*BONUS CONTENT*
=BEHIND THE SCENES=

Shory wanted to bully me, away from others.

So he began dimming the gaslight.

Then he began exaggerating.

Next, came the victim blaming.

Finally, the delusions of grandeur.

Stupid miners! 🙂

Hmph!

I have 93 active killrights(((((

\\\EPILOGUE///

Tale of the Tombkeeper

Listening to: Dance the Night

Why??? How did the mighty CODE. alliance became a mere tomb for dead alts, cobwebs, and dusty bios?

What happened?

Super Pleb was there.

As director of NOL, he was universally despised.

Super opened the doors wide, but nobody joined.

The comments at Minerbumping are self-explanatory.

Super was always a disgrace.

So, on June 24, James 315 finally did it.

However, Super didn’t get the memo.

One day, a ghost came to visit.

Before James, John was executor of the alliance. Upon his return, he was not pleased by CODE. civil war.

As moderator of the minerbumping channel, Super was gleefully banning Aiko, and anyone who supported her.

With James gone, forever, even Super lamented the fact that nobody could do anything about Super.

The rest of the alliance was annoyed.

We wondered if Super was quite sane.

Naturally, John urged Super to calm down.

Super wanted the CODE. to be a tomb. However, corporation Big Willies PvP Madness wanted the alliance to be, well, an alliance that does something more than orbit a dead star.

With two active members in NOL, Super was threatened by the success of other ganking corps. He blamed James for this.

James had wisely allowed everyone to join another corporation, negating Super’s status as “cat’s meow” of NOL. Consequently, when Super banned people from Minerbumping, they could just join a different channel, or even a different alliance.

Which is exactly what happened.

Super embraced a helpless doom and gloom philosophy of inevitable stagnation and decay. Without James, gankers wanted new leadership, and the wound was deep. Super tried to stop the bleeding, but he only made things worse by draining blood from a desiccated corpse. Meanwhile, with every ban, Aiko grew stronger.

When he was done, there would be nobody left.

A dead alliance was better than one with Aiko.

Super repeated his mantra.

That felt good.

Super kissed the feet of his dead god.

This is the ‘leadership’ he provided.

Super wanted John to understand.

Super couldn’t accept reality, or Aiko. Clinically, he struggled to adjust his behaviour to suit various social contexts, and failed to engage in imaginative play with friends, continually falling back upon restricted repetitive patterns. Meanwhile, the death of James left a void, which would inevitably be filled.

Of course, everyone was concerned about the mails.

John encouraged Super to gank more.

Super didn’t want gankers in the ganking alliance.

A ganking alliance can’t survive without gankers!

Roleplayers aren’t real leaders.

Super was an idiot.

Without James, he had no hope for the future.

Would you join Pharaoah, in his tomb?

Super couldn’t wait!

What a goofus.

What a pleb!

For real.

Cheerzah!

That’s right!

lol

What would James say?

=BONUS ART=

Aiko and Super, by Alt 00

Baby, you can find me in Highsec
Diamonds under my eyes
Turn the rhythm up, don’t you wanna just
Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit so tight
You can see my heartbeat tonight
I can take the heat, baby, best believe
That’s the moment I shine

Don’t give a damn
When the night’s here, I do tears
Baby, you got no chance
When your heart breaks
I could dance, watch me dance
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place

Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
When the galaxy shakes
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps

I don’t play it safe (ooh)
Don’t you know about me? (Uh-huh)
Even when your tears are flowin’ like diamonds
I’ll still keep the party goin