Fuck #4

Fuck #3

The miners have a lot to say.

Sometimes, they are more concise.

It’s not very hard to understand.

They want to do things their own way.

Unfortunately, they don’t have much luck.

They seem to be stuck, repeating the same basic patterns.

What does it all mean?

I don’t think they are calm.

They don’t seem to like us.

They don’t seem to like me.

I don’t like them much either.

They are crazy!

They’ve always been crazy.

Nobody likes a miner.








Aiko is the Mittani

The Why Was I Ganked? channel is a great place to discuss EVE.

However, Key Orion was initially unimpressed.

Why is the leader of Goonswarm hiding in Highsec?

Like Napoleon, Princess Aiko abandoned her army in the midst of winter.

The secret is out. Everyone knows about Aiko. 

She isn’t even trying to win the war.

After some thought, Key decided this was pretty impressive.

It sure is nice to be the most powerful woman in the galaxy.


I honestly don’t care.

Is that Alex guy still pretending to be me?

Highsec News

The latest breaking Highsec news. Read all about it!

Miner Khatoum was eager to attract subscribers, and what could be more exciting than watching his spaceship explode? Khatoum was so shocked, his hand hovered in space for a long time. He wasn’t especially mad at Nitetime Video, but let lose a string of f-bombs when he heard about a c-word princess.

Here’s a mining joke:

Haha, very funny miners.

In other news, Brisc Rubal doubled down on being utterly obtuse. 

Hellokittyonline made a reasonable request. Did you know, suspects can be attacked by anyone and everyone? Wouldn’t the game be more fun, if suspects could form fleets, and work together with friends? Is there any reason that they must always be alone? I remember, a long time ago, I thought neutral logi support was the dumbest thing. However, I didn’t realize that logi also went suspect, and could be attacked and killed. So how is that unfair play? It sounds like a great way to generate fleet content in Highsec.

Since I killed kitty’s Phantasm, I’m a credible source in regard to whether his playstyle is ‘overpowered’. Without CONCORD protection, he is exposed and vulnerable. Why shouldn’t suspects utilize remote support, what’s wrong with that? If you attack a suspect, you should be prepared to fight their friends.

I can’t imagine a more asinine response. Just in case you aren’t clear on the rules of this game, the suspect cannot engage a target UNLESS the target shoots them. By definition, suspects are only engaging targets that fight back.

I don’t think Brisc cares about Highsec. Should CCP delete it?

Before long, Brisc began insisting suspect baiters “never” lose ships, and he even claimed that I have only lost two ships. Ever.

It’s ok to say stupid things, but come on Brisc… you just jumped the shark. 

Brisc insists suspect baiting is bullying and griefing, unfair plane which should be nerfed out of existence. It’s ‘overpowered’ when Krig Povelli has a lone Nergal, and offers to simultaneously duel every other player in the game. Meanwhile, Brisc led a taskforce of three Nergals and dozens of assault frigates, to dunk a hapless procurer. You tell me? Who is actually attacking ships that can’t shoot back? 

Brisc claims to be an expert on ganking. He knows we ‘never’ lose, and never take fights unless we are 100% sure to win.

I’ll tell you what, I’ve seen a lot of ganks go wrong. I don’t know what 315 would call it, when my Catalyst explodes, and miners are laughing. I call it defeat. In fact, I’m never sure I’ll be able to kill a Venture. It might have shields, it might be moving, it might have antiganking support, and there’s faction police and CONCORD. Also, Catalysts cost money, and most ganks result in a net loss. However, Brisc believes I’ve only lost two spaceships, and I never lose. I wish I was as good as Brisc believes.

I wanted to know where Brisc developed his intimate understanding of ganking. Here I am, just a lowly CODE. princess, but the great Brisc Rubal is lecturing me on the ganking mindset. What does he know? How? 

Brisc has participated in 21 ganks. Wow!

Here’s what MiniLuv had to say about his participation.

It’s cool to disagree, and even be totally wrong, but seriously. Sometimes, it’s ok to admit that you don’t know what you are talking about.


Highsec Miner Grab Bag #223

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #222

\o Hello friends.

Miners write the darndest things.

They aren’t especially intelligent.

However, they should at least be polite.

I enjoy receiving fan mail.

I especially like poems.

Unfortunately, some miners aren’t very nice.

Crabs are kind of mean.

I don’t even mine in Highsec, have you seen any Highsec miner with omber crystal? Is your brain filled with dog shit? I was just going back to Jita. I wish your mom to die at Christmas.

5pm, tommorrow, you can go check yOur mom’s grave. I wish your entire family to celebrate Christmas one hundred times, in hell. You will get cancer and your grave will be a great place.

Mining seems really boring.

I just want them to purchase their permit.

It’s also helpful when they clear our kill rights.


They help us, and we help them.

Silly miners, they’ve been upset a long time.

I’m just glad to know, they love their Princess.

Aiko Danuja, a healthy mare.



Kills of Yet Another Week!

Kills of Some Preceding Week

Wow, just when you thought the CODE. was finally dead, it somehow keeps going. Here are some crabby miners, who faced justice during the week of August 13.


Matumba F knew what she was getting into, that’s why she joined a corporation called Dead Squad. She got everything she bargained for. Great!


UEDKnight also went for thematic roleplay, joining The Superior NPC Corporation. Apparently, bot aspirants really do aspire to become NPCs. Well, his wish was granted, and he was dunked in seconds, just like a real NPC! Wonderful.


Gothryc Bumgardener thought working for an inflammable powder factory would keep his ship from exploding. Unfortunately, when exposed to neutron radiation, everything burns. Can you believe, he was defeated by gay pride? BOOOOM!


v3rmin isn’t just a miner, he’s a smuggler. Within the cargohold, Billy discovered a secret stash of tritanium, with traces of pyerite and isogen!


Everybody hates moonpire, and for good reason. marco has been getting great kills, but I just love seeing him dunk these depots. The EVE community thanks you!


Ibowto Noone had a bad attitude, and was just chilling and relaxing, when she was erased by my good friend Berger. Good fight!


Various Happenings

Ernst Steinitz heard disturbing rumors, emanating from the belt.

After a thorough investigation, the rumormonger was apprehended.

Pix Severus has also been placing containers.

I hope Pix is still placing containers. I’d like to see more of them. 

Did you ever play agar.io? I was talking with Krig Povelli, and we agreed that EVE Online is basically the exact same game. You go around eating little mining dots, and it’s funny when carebear blobs explode.

There’s a lot of funny stories, I can’t possibly tell them all. Like the time antiganking Satanist Winky Winkers666 was defeated by empty pods in Uedama. Apparently, he accidentally shot a new ganker, and CONCORD jumped in to help the newbro.

Oof, I’m tired. I wanna tell you about Globby though.

Globby is one of the best players in the game, and when I heard Goonswarm was beset by carebear hordes, I agreed to let him save the Delve. Here, like the Marquis d’Lafayette, he teaches nullbears about the CODE. Globby’s great victory in the battle of 5-CQDA will long be remembered as a turning point in the history of EVE.

Here’s a livefeed of Pandemic comms.

Globby is awesome.

Primary is… uh…

He’s the best.




All Stirred Up

Both Malls lost a Venture.

He hates education, business, and cleaning.

He proudly supports Trump 2020.

Both hasn’t finished training his trash talk skills.

I guess he doesn’t like me.

I make him feel nervous and frustrated.

Apparently, if you PvP in a video game, you are an infidel.

He’s a perfect example of the mining caste.

Princess Daniel

In a galaxy full of men, it’s natural to wonder whether Princess Aiko is actually a beautiful young lady in real-life. Is she really the heir to Ibiza? Did her daddy truly buy her a penthouse in the Perimeter keepstar?

emperor 003 came to my Why Was I Ganked? channel with shocking news. Princess Aiko is actually some guy called Daniel, who lives in Chicago.

Some miners began to doubt Aiko is even a teenager.

Still others were intrigued by ‘Daniel’.

Emperor really doesn’t like Chicago.

He also doesn’t like the number 315. He prefers 003.

CODE. is nothing more than a Chicago numbers racket.

After 003 weeks of investigation, emperor discovered the ‘truth’.

Everyone was impressed, and wanted to see if emperor could find them as well.

PLOT TWIST: emperor never actually did any research or investigation.

His credibility began to plummet.

I did a Google search, and ‘Daniel’ doesn’t seem to actually exist. I’ve redacted the surname, on the off chance CCP bans me, but I don’t think this is a real person. Indeed, Daniel later denied that he ever included a surname.

Daniel realized that I was investigating his investigation.

He clearly hadn’t done his homework.

emperor claimed that Princess Aiko doesn’t exist, but actually Daniel doesn’t exist.

Inconceivable! The coup attempt failed.

Princess Aiko was once again hailed as a true lady of Agil.

As for emperor003, it turns out he isn’t even an emperor.