Dunked Miners of This Here Half Fortnite

Kills of the Previous Week

Oi, check it. Here be some dumb bunnies, fleeced between October 6 at some time and October 12 at some later time. That’s one week, right? Aight.


I recently found CCP Alpha lurking about. During the initial skirmish, I am ashamed to admit, I failed to kill him. I should have brought a blob, cuz all I managed to kill was a nearby Hecate. Coulda, shoulda, woulda. My bad.

Fortunately, Cargo Bandit felt sorry for me, and brought reinforcements.

Here is damning proof that CCP Alpha was AFK.

Like most miners, CCP Alpha is a liar, but at least he appreciates me.

Afterward, he bought a new Endurance, demanded a rematch, and logged off.


Juxta Blix is a typical carebear, who thinks New Eden is divided into warring factions. In reality, everybody is united against the bot mining menace. In order to hunt down Juxta, a combined taskforce was formed, representing CODE., Goonswarm, Pandemic Horde, and Did He Say Jump? Are we jumping?

Juxta was feeling a little salty.


It wasn’t clear what side of the war Juxta is on. He blocked me, so I couldn’t reply, but he agreed to a follow-up interview with Whadda Badasaz.

Juxta obviously isn’t upset.


Molten Wreck knew the wind was coming from the north, and he assumed this was just the start of another ice storm. However, something went horribly wrong, and his ship is now a… molten wreck. Good fight!


Mikhoel Avrom loved his fancy ship, but apparently he wasn’t quite ready to fly it. GAY PRIDE wrecked him BOOOOOM! SICO DOWN!!


Svendolina Tuttolo lost a 20 billion isk freighter to the Snuggle Society. After all these years, people still don’t know how to survive in Highsec. That’s not funny.


Too Ducky didn’t lose his pod in Highsec, lowsec, nullsec, or some dusty wormhole. He lost his pod in abyssal space, which is also my space. WTF? I guess it’s time to steal mom’s credit card again. Here’s a pro tip: You don’t need all those implants.

Too was probably AFK. They always are.


EXTRA CREDIT: Several agents have been practicing forkbomb techniques.


How are you spreading the CODE?


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