TamiyaCowboy

TamiyaCowboy brought a terrible crime to my attention. As you know, Tamiya is a veteran streamer. Over the course of a legendary seventeen year career, with seventy thousand hours of combat experience, Tamiya has dunked more than one hundred vessels. Unfortunately, his inspirational story reached a disturbing finale.

Our whiteknight champion was brought down, by an “instalocking hacker multiscript kiddy stream sniper.” Supposedly, I am responsible, because this “f****** b****” is a member of my alliance. However, I am not the dean of SAK, and have never met Caldari Citizen. Nevertheless, as Tamiya informed me, 2119440471 is a brainwave controlled minion of the notorious cyberbully, Adrian Vexier.

Miners dread this vexatious capsuleer, but Adrian is also not a member of my alliance. In fact, he is in another alliance.

Regardless, Tamiya described a brutal beating…

I began to suspect Tamiya was exaggerating, falsely portraying himself as an innocent victim.

As Tamiya explained, he was also bullied by lead developer Ergroth DeBruges (once again, not in my alliance).

However, contradicting this claim, Tamiya’s own viewers felt that Ergroth’s newbie Tristan posed no threat.

According to Tamiya, Adrian stalked him, trespassing upon Tamiya’s private public Twitch stream. In fact, Tamiya invited Adrian to the party! It is unreasonable to claim Adrian invaded the stream, when Tamiya repeatedly and personally invited Adrian Ergroth, whom Tamiya believed to be a “f****** total newbie.”

Meanwhile, viewers observed that the alleged “stream sniper” didn’t even want to join Twitch.

Subsequently, Tamiya began to trash talk the “f****** newbie in a piece of f****** s*** ship.” Tamiya called him a “broke a** b***** r*****” and vowed to “f****** r*** and literally f****** kill and literally f****** r*** to little bits.” Yes, our innocent streamer vowed to “literally rape” and “literally kill” Ergroth. That’s a verifiable fact.

They wanted to provoke an emotional reaction.

Within Tamiya’s toxic chat, virtue signalling carebears frequently violate the EULA of both Twitch and EvE Online.

As a journalist, I am an advocate of free speech. I don’t think bad language is that bad, because I grew up in the hard towers of a palatial estate. However, some people conspire to portray PvP players as griefers, whilst themselves engaging in griefplay. I don’t mind the inappropriate language, but I object to blatant hypocrisy.

Tamiya’s viewers wanted him to PvP a “newbie”, and plotted to “r***” Ergroth. Therefore, Tamiya invited Ergroth to Twitch, for the purpose of extracting newbie salt and tears.

Tamiya wasn’t trying to get away from Ergroth. Instead, he encouraged Ergroth to follow. Tamiya literally said, “Let’s see if I can bait him. I want him to follow me.”

Only turbominer Lucas wanted a boring PvE stream.

A career forum troll, Lucas has been ranting for fifteen years, in an endless crusade against video game PvP.

Why is Lucas so mad?

He just wants to mine in easy mode…

Therefore, Lucas hopes to remove PvP.

Tamiya tried to include Lucas (who was afraid of Ergroth).

Everyone else was ready to fight!

Meanwhile, Tamiya invited people to Twitch, including the person he intended to bait. Is it reasonable to accuse someone of stream sniping, when you invite them to your stream?

Wasn’t Tamiya asking for it?

PLOT TWIST: With an instalocking script, and smartbombs, Caldari Citizen wallhacked his way to victory!

As I watched this unfold, I realized Tamiya is a poor sport, salty after losing a fight he intended to win. He tried to bait a newbie, and got mad because they won. As a veteran player, he should know better. You don’t need to stream snipe, to find a pod on the Jita gate!

After his humiliating defeat, Tamiya switched to Elite Dangerous, a game where carebears pretend to be space pirates. Ironically, even this game warned Tamiya to be more careful.

Oh no, simulated tunnel snakes!

Tamiya failed again.

Without further ado, Tamiya’s vulgar stream is linked below, where you can hear him for yourself.

It’s obvious what happened.

Tamiya wanted to fight a new player, and lost. Subsequently, he made a false accusation, pretending to be the victim of someone he tried to bait, “We could just report him for being a f****** griefer… just to really rub some salt…” Meanwhile, he gloated about preferential treatment “because I’m a f****** streamer.”

What an angry bear.

He even said CCP devs are “literally f****** little b**** girls”.

That’s just sexist!

*****

POSTSCRIPT: Upon viewing this blog, at least one of Tamiya’s viewers has understood my point. Tamiya’s chat was full of people laughing at Ergroth, and trying to provoke a fight.

Tami still claims to be innocent.

Manic Griefing

Manic Velocity is full of it.

On his propaganda stream, Manic Velocity tried to create an echo chamber, in which the only allowed opinion is that gankers “want” salt and are “going for” salt. The implication is that gankers are griefers, because they are trying to provoke an emotional reaction. Although ganking is acceptable, griefing is not!

Ganking is fine, nobody has a problem with ganking, but gankers are griefers! Every carebear knows ganking is allowed, but it goes too far when ganking affects another player…

I watched the video again, to ensure I heard correctly. Manic said, “[Hateless] was salty… he was really upset. The fact that he was having this reaction on camera… that’s what the gankers were going for. That’s the reaction they wanted.” Those griefers!

I objected, asking how Manic Velocity knows what we want. He has never spoken to us, but claims mystical insight into our motivations. He then denied that he ever claimed this!

When I observed that he said otherwise, he banned me. This led to a debate over whether “good fight” is a malicious form of griefing, followed by a discussion of blowjobs and golden showers.

Seriously…

Fortunately, Brisc Rubal knows that other show is “weird as hell”, and agreed to actually talk to gankers.

I reccomend you listen to Globby, Joe, Jason, and Zaenis. Great guys! Some people wonder why I wasn’t there, but Queen Elizabeth didn’t have time for interviews, and neither do I. I’m busy ganking miners, but I was pleased to hear that people think I’m the best ganker, the cutest ganker, and the most vicious ganker in the game. That’s right!

Unlike carebear talk shows, the Meta Show doesn’t ban people, even though they disagree with the speakers. This creates a community with open discussion and reasonable debate.

When you actually talk to gankers, it’s hard to argue that gankers are griefers. This is why carebear talk shows have to ban gankers, because if you talk to us, we say things like “Ganking is good for new players…” and “Highsec miners are toxic…” These arguments are compelling, and any rational person will support us.

Ganking makes EvE a better game.

Fleablock wondered about the rumors.

Did Aiko serve in the Beeitnam War?

Who do you think organized the Perimeter Front?

Other people wanted to discuss Orcas.

Hawk intends to kill Orcas, until Hateless stops whining.

Will Highsec miners ever stop crying?

This might take awhile!

Miners are already complaining to Hateless.

Brisc Rubal brought our community together.

Gankers are opposed to genuine harassment: racism, sexism, and death threats. However, ganking is not actual harassment. Unfortunately, some people think ganking is griefing, because emotional streamers voluntarily share their absurd reactions.

What is the final verdict?

If you are a streamer, you are not exempt from PvP. So if you don’t want to be ganked on stream, then don’t stream! You are the one streaming, you are the one broadcasting your reaction to the entire galaxy, and nobody actually wants to watch your boring video.

Boring in Stations

Hateless went live, to discuss his theory of griefing, but I don’t recommend watching the show. Hateless had an opportunity to discuss griefing, but instead he droned on about his computer, his multibox setup, and bragged about how easy it is to avoid “griefers” whilst ratting in nullsec. As you can see, host Nick Bison fell asleep.

Hateless clarified that ganking and bumping are allowed gameplay mechanics, but gankers and bumpers are griefers.

In particular, he cited the precedent set by notorious roleplay griefers Zaenis Desef and Chance Ravinne.

As Hateless explained, bumping and ganking are totally ok, except when this inconveniences him.

The moderators could have engaged the debate, asking Hateless to define griefing, or discuss specific examples. They could have asked Hateless what he expects CCP to do, or how we can discern the subtle difference between “griefing” and “adverse gameplay”. They could have asked Hateless how anyone is “stream sniping” him, when he literally sits in the same system for months, doing the same repetitive tasks in the same exact location. Instead, they simply banned everyone who asked these questions, and allowed Hateless to talk to himself.

Hateless only cited one specific example of griefing.

He called my channel “horrendous”.

Supposedly, gankers trigger this toxicity.

Biased moderators banned all disagreement.

Hateless said he doesn’t want anyone to attack me, or go after me. However, I am his singular example of griefing, and griefers (ie: me) should be permanently banned from the game.

As evidence, he cited my blogpost about SSno1.

It is true, SSno1 quit the game.

However, he wasn’t “griefed” out.

In fact, I urged him to stay.

What Hateless doesn’t understand, is that my “victims” love Queen Aiko. They enjoy PvP. They enjoy losing the game. A lot of them enjoy it so much, that they swipe their credit cards and come back for more. I’m playing the game as intended, and that’s not griefing.

Hateless had some interesting ideas. For example, maybe CCP could make players in NPC corporations invulnerable to PvP?

Hateless, I know you are reading this.

You are a miner.

You aren’t concerned about griefing.

You just want easy risk-free money.

Maybe you should try a less challenging game?

Hawk on TiS

Wrathful Hawk was on Talking in Stations.

Everybody was excited to meet him.

Miners immediately began crying.

One crybaby was particularly whiny.

KeyOrion doesn’t like when miners pay CCP.

He has all the intel.

Other miners had questions.

Some even supported ganking.

Everybody is concerned about bump harassment.

Ultimately, the miners were outraged.

A lot of miners don’t like Wrathful Hawk.

However, he is a professional.

What a guy!

What a Hateless crybaby

Believe it or not, but EvE Online is a PvP game. Players fight over resources, in a battle royale. As an analogy, consider the game Fortnite. In the image below, you can see a miner, harvesting ore.

Of course, there’s always a little cutie with a ponytail, who won’t hesitate to shoot a hapless miner.

Carebears whine and moan endlessly, complaining about those meanie “griefers” who engage in PvP. One crybaby recently gave me permission to share his tears with you.

Thank you Hateless.

Hateless sees no problem with “griefing” in nullsec, but he cries foul when someone touches him in Highsec.

I know what you are asking.

Earlier today, Adrian Vexier decided to bump an Orca.

I could have shot Hateless (again), but I was already shooting someone else, so the crybaby miner was perfectly safe. Ultimately, nobody ganked Hateless, but he is still crying.

Nobody shot Hateless. Nevertheless, the mere presence of another player was enough to “provoke an emotional response”. Hateless was frustrated that another player was playing the game. So he sat down next to his motorcycle, and quit his space “job”.

EvE Online “stream fleet” partners are coddled by CCP. They get free handouts, free plex, free skins, and free advertising. Apparently, it’s just not enough. Hateless merely wants to get paid for not playing, with no hassle from the other players.

Minerbumping is a timeless tradition. Consequently, I have no idea how Hateless can feel entitled to mine in Highsec, with a fleet of Hulks, and yet he throws a temper tantrum whenever someone bumps his Orca. What does he expect is going to happen?

Apparently, if you declare Highsec mining to be your “job”, then you can claim harassment because other players are interfering.

Hateless simps rallied to his defense.

New players deserve protection!

Everyone is discussing how to stop gameplay in a game.

Oh boohoohoo, the miner can’t maximize his isk/hr.

Honestly, CCP should stop enabling carebears.

Highsec miners should be banned from the Partner program.

They can go play a different game.

Seriously, just go.

It’s literally a game.

I will give the final word to Dex.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 3

Krig’s Korner, Part I

James fucked off, and now I have to do everything.

Ok, fine, let’s see what Ryan wants.

Previously, Warugaki donated dozens of billions to the mighty Safety alliance.

BREAKING NEWS: Wrathful Hawk made a superb video!

We now return to our regularly scheduled Krig’s Korner.

Hi.  It’s me again.  Last time, on Krig’s Korner, Princess Aiko let me out to play and I got into trouble 🙁

Fortunately, Asketus was calm, and I did not elicit an illegal emotional response.  Apparently, those are bad.  We must refrain from emotions in EvE Online.  Any emotional response could provoke an all-out dairy disaster.

I was still in my unemotional Korner when I ran into an emotionally vapid whale.  Everyone knows that I love have no particular sentiment toward whales and I merely wanted an emotionless experience.  Therefore, I respectfully initiated an emotionfree session with him/her/xie/xe/zim/zur/zing.

Princess Aiko says I can get a little too rough when playing. If I am not nice, she will send me back to the Korner! So, I offered my new friend a fair deal.

The miner accepted my dispassionate proposal.

He even sent some free iskies.

In compliance with the EULA, I felt nothing whatsoever.

Inexplicably, the miner ejected from his spaceship.

Imagine my surprise, when he attempted to gank me.

I could tell he was nervous. Look, when it is someone’s first time, you need to consider their feelings.  Don’t just start pounding and smashing.  That could elicit an emotional response, and I needed this miner to calm down.

Just like that, the deed was done.

Imagine my surprise, when he abandoned his own Orca.

As a good friend, I contracted it to him. Unfortunately, he did not have enough ISK.  I almost felt bad, because nobody wants to be friends with a poor.

Regardless, emotions shouldn’t dictate our gameplay.

His space-lunch money is safe with me.

I left him with some dispassionate advice.

Farewell, old friend.

He lingered for awhile.

I felt nothing, as he faded away.

Suddenly, he tried to bait me into an emotional experience.

However, I still felt nothing.

We are no longer friends.

He had a bad attitude.

Perfect -10

Dunk Dinkle ranked his favourite EvE players.

I’m a perfect -10.

Miners are always excited to see me.

They often have questions.

I love to help!

Anthony has been a good little miner!

His alts all have mining permits.

What a happy bear!

What could possibly be wrong?

Oh, right, he still needs a fleeting permit.

Anthony just had one more question.

It would only cost 100 175 million isk to get an answer.

I’m sure he’s paid all the fees — right?

Like omg, I’m like such a cutie!