Category: Videos

Winning EvE

I’m winning a game called EvE Online.

They win by losing.

I find this acceptable.

Highsec is a strange place…

Sometimes, they get an attitude.

So we have to put them down.

We are all having fun.

I hope everybody is having fun?

That’s right.

That’s right!

o7 capsuleers…

James 315 Was Wrong!

Welcome to my clickbait.

James 315 was a great guy, no doubt. More of a blogger, than an actual EvE player, but still pretty cool. However, when the greatest PvP player in the history of the game began to eclipse him, she also began to notice where he was wrong and not quite right.

Indeed, James forgot one of his own systems! Recently, in my quest to obtain Intaki Spiced Tea, imagine my surprise when I realized not only does Intaki exist, but no CODE. agent had ever visited it before. I felt like a true explorer as I claimed the system in MY name!

That’s right.

For good measure, I snagged another quick frag.

Shocking as this might be, I can’t help but acknowledge a subtle truth which careless readers might miss. Not only am I the best, I’m also slightly misleading (some might even say dishonest). Of course, when James wrote his post, Intaki was not actually a Highsec system. So perhaps I am guilty of sensationalist exaggeration, but who can blame me? It was not James who came to Intaki and ganked two exhumers – it was ME. In Intaki, the miners can truthfully say, “Before the CODE. there was AIKO!”

Many have thus begun to notice me, learning two things: 1) I appear to be the best, and 2) Even if I’m not, I’m still pretty darn great. Even my detractors acknowledge my success.

Compared to James 315, I’m pie in the sky!

Here’s a video that made me laugh.

Is EvE’s #1 alltime greatest a fraud??

I don’t need to explain what I do or why, and I certainly don’t worry about the salt and tears of AI generated solobear commentators who don’t even play the game. To be quite frank, all the greatest players in EvE Online are always engaged in some sort of padding. For us, that’s a game unto itself, and whether you are whoring on keepstars, jump freighters, dread brawls, or dunking your own alts – it’s all part of the game. However, what happens when you strip away the padding, what’s left?

“Aiko Danuja… The Legend… one of the most famous outlaws in New Eden. That is real… Aiko Danuja is ALWAYS your OFFICIAL High Princess… Aiko Danuja Is the Best Bee… The top of the solo leaderboard is YOURS… To be fair to the princess, the rest of the record is real… the LEGEND is real…”

Strip away the deceit, and you are left with one obvious truth: Aiko Danuja is the greatest player in the history of the game!

Hey, here’s a ‘real’ solo kill…

He even bought a permit…

With kills like that, I can afford to pad!

Hedvard Gets Owned

Hedvard Vetranax met his fate and destiny.

…and they said I never leave Highsec?

I know what men really want.

To Princess Aiko, Keeper of the Drones
From: Hedvard Vetranax

They want to write poems (about me).

Princess Aiko, jewel of the Chain,
I’ve chased through fire, through void, through flame.
I’ve broken pirates, kings, and fleets,
Yet found defeat where our destinies meet.

The whispers say I threw the fight,
That somehow I forgot my might.
They ask, “Why didn’t the Astero burn?
Why let the heatless modules turn?”

The answer’s simple—though hard to confess,
A deputy can falter, I guess.
When your ship appeared upon my scan,
My courage fled my careful plan.

My heat racks waited, cold and still,
Unused by choice, not lack of will.
The overheat lights never shone…
For fear I’d leave you podded… alone.

What glory lies in molten steel,
If victory ends what I might feel?
Better an honest bruise to pride
Than scorch the star where hopes reside.

Yet let no soul mistake the tale—
Your victory was no fairy tale.
Those faithful drones obeyed your hand
Like knights responding to command.

They struck with grace, returned with speed,
Each recall timed to meet the need.
No drone was wasted, left to die;
You ruled the field with watchful eye.

I watched them weave through fire and smoke,
Each perfect orbit, every stroke.
A captain’s worth is plainly shown;
By how she guides each faithful drone.

So if they ask why heat was spared,
Or why my armor wasn’t repaired,
Tell them this, and tell it true:

A deputy may hunt the stars…

But even Bulldogs lose their nerve…

When fighting someone worthy of their heart.

Until the next duel beneath Anoikis’ endless skies!

Maybe he should make this into a song?

What a good little boy.

Yes, there’s more!

…but why did he set me to red standing?

Hedvard Vetranax > girls make me nervous

You know what I really like?

Songs about me…

I’m the star!


Now, Hedvard just needs to send isk (and lots of it).

Get Therapy

Listening to: Princess Aiko’s Coming

The Wormhole Police Department is too kind.

Some people accept me, do you?

That’s beautiful.

I’m beautiful!

Let’s check out our Fate and Destiny.

Doing well, as always.

The Dodixie trade hub is under siege!

Miners are easily agitated.

They can mine with Safety…

Now that’s just crazy talk!

I know the cure.

Just kill them.

Just Above

Some people don’t like Safety.

Congratulations Aiko!

Other people love me.

You can’t argue with success!

Maybe I was born with it?

Aiko Danuja is the best mercenary in EvE Online.

Business remains good.

No discussion required!

What will happen next?

I’ll make more isk.

Maybe even a few friends.

Wouldn’t you like to watch?

Cheerzah.

Welcome to AikoTown

Listening to: Billions

ArchyZavr is NOT a fool.

He’s just a guy, who enjoys losing.

I know how to please a man.

Some people call this witchcraft.

Others might call it seduction.

I remember what he said.

Oh, boy gonna find out.

It was time for Archy to put an Azbel in Uedama.

Step one: Undock and flying to Uedama.

Have you ever known me to do a trick?

This is the art of politics, by other means.

Now I can finally create AikoTown.

I love a little drama.

Just a typical day in EvE Online.

You are welcome Archy (again).

I lost decades of friendship.

I’m the coolest.

Thanks.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Archy sent a song, to show his feels.

==DDOOUUBBLLLEE BONUS==

Cat Sky got ganked (again).

Then he tried faction warfare.

What a guy!

Absolutely Crazy

Listening to: Cat Sky Hates PvP

Absolute Order has crazy people, with crazy ideas.

Meanwhile, they are incompetent.

Will Blackflag save their carebear pets?

Here’s one former Absolute Pleb.

zxcxzx caught him attempting to mine alone (and AFK).

Poor Cat Sky was bullied out of the AO blob.

He sure talks a lot, about me apparently.

What an incoherent clown.

What will he say next?

I don’t even talk to his type.

Cool chat bro.

Check it out.

Just another 2011 newbro.

See you around kitty cat.

=COMING SOON TO A BLOG NEAR YOU=