The Battle of Brap

Hello!

I’ve been traipsing through space.

Recently, I found myself in Brapelille.

EvE University sent their best bounty hunter to track me down.

It was a massacre.

Local miners weren’t sure what was happening.

Newbro Kha’ll barely survived.

However, he saw a business opportunity.

Catalyst salvaging is profitable!

Meanwhile, miners kept dying, one by one.

Kha’ll wasn’t even upset.

He just won’t forget.

Kha’ll found his lifelong space nemesis.

It was his first PvP experience.

He doesn’t care at all.

He’s gonna put a 145 on me.

Kha’ll is a real man.

He told me off.

Now I’ve got a real bounty.

Meanwhile, other miners noticed something amiss.

Raja Ovaert scrambled to salvage additional wrecks.

However, Charles Sheldon was mystified.

He was an EvE veteran, but had never seen anything like this.

Major Miner Sheldon soon joined the other wrecks.

Eventually, antiganking reinforcements arrived.

It was a bad day for the miners of Brapelille.

Sometimes, you just need to dock up.

There’s no shame in being afraid.

Thanks for the free advertising!

Another Post

Another dead miner, and another great video.

GalactusGalactuss also released a music video.

Unfortunately, Galactus is being salty again.

He left my Discord in a huff.

Why do some people have to be cringy, always?

Meanwhile, gankbear MacGybo also made a video.

The video is incredibly boring.

Ganking for isk/hr is newbro friendly.

MacGybo prides himself on “profit” – legitimate gameplay.

However, miner permit roleplay is TOXIC.

Ethical gankers only kill newbros who lag out in Jita.

Hold on. I gotta say, like, wow. Before I ever even heard of EvE Online, before I ever started playing the game, this guy was camping the Jita undock and taking advantage of new players.

I never took 29 billion isk from a one day old character. However, MacGybo has the hypocritical audacity to claim that I am the griefer. You can debate whether I’ve driven a new player to quit, but you can be absolutely certain MacGybo has. That’s a fact.

We now return to ongoing Hateless drama.

In his own discord, Hateless is on the defensive.

Hateless has been struggling to gain sympathy.

Adrian Vexier made a compelling defense.

What will happen next?

Will Hateless get revenge on the space bully griefer guild?

Pandemic Pallies

PAPI had a rough night.

Meanwhile, Aikowatchers noticed something unusual.

Opportunity knocked, and Kelgoroth seized the opportunity of a lifetime.

He thanked everyone who helped achieve his goal.

Miners will do anything for me.

I’ve got perky social skills.

When you fleet with Aiko, magic happens.

What could possibly go wrong?

I even won a free Paladin!

Don’t be shy!

CCP might ban me, but they’ll never ban the memories.

Neospace

If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.

Neopets are like furries, but for children.

I wonder how that upgrade went?

With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.

You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!

Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.

The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.

Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.

She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.

I guess numbers are important after all?

So she started bullying me.

This was one uppity miner.

James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!

Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.

We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.

An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.

WAR ON FRAT

It’s hard to keep track of all my victories.

James 315 was the most influential player in the history of EvE Online, because he placed me on a pedestal of purified antimatter. When I was just an innocent little noobling, he recognized me as a trueborne Princess of Agil.

Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it.

Stupid people don’t know how stupid they are.

FACT: I’m the greatest capsuleer… ever.

Recently, I tried ganking in nullsec, where CONCORD doesn’t exist.

The bots were amazed.

I’m pretty good at this.

Ganking is a LOT easier without CONCORD.

Apparently, when you play on easy mode, you get killmarks?

Hey, that’s pretty cool!

I’m the perfect woman, a total -10.

That’s right.

Mission Accomplished

I have finally won EvE.

I’ll never go away, I’ll never stop, and I’ll always come back.

From the very first, I was a fan of Rooks and Kings.

A great alliance, with a great legacy.

My alliance has done more, in less time.

My name is Aiko Danuja, and I am an irl space vampire princess.

I am also the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

James 315 was literally invincible. I took his whole alliance, the money, the fame, the glory, the praise, the isk, the blog, the house, the dog, the cats, the heroin, the killboard… I stuck my face on it, and the universe is mine.

EvE was dying (again), and I saved it (again).

Someday, they will write the history of EvE Online, and they will observe that blobber alliances were boring and dumb. The true history will be about cool alliances, filled with creative interesting people. They will talk about Shadow Cartel, Snuffed Out, Hard Knocks, Wingspan, and xqtywiznalamywmodxfhhopawzpqyjdwrpeptuaenabjawdzku. All these alliances will be a mere footnote, an introduction to the real story, which will be about the epic rise and rise of one Aiko Danuja.

You can doubt me, but just look at what I’ve done.

I am dizzy with success…

…and I’m just getting started.

BIG

BADA

BOOM

ahahahaha AHAHAAHHAHAHA

BWAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

xaxaxa)))

You gotta pay to play.

MITTANI MAN BAD

I’ve heard the accusations.

*****

EXHIBIT A
(AKA PROOF OF PHOTOSHOP)

EXHIBIT B
(AKA FACEBOOK GOSSIP)

EXHIBIT C
(AKA MITTANIGATE)

This is some serious stuff.

If you want to report a crime, contact the police. I know what a judge would conclude. Case dismissed! You can submit Exhibit A, an edited chatlog from 2007, but it isn’t compelling. Of course, I want to acknowledge the theoretical possibility that there is some truth or substance to the allegations, but…

Mob justice is not justice.

That’s not cool!

Guilty until proven innocent?

I karttoon was right. I would know.

If you enable spergy whiteknight carebears, this happens.

What do we have here?

Wow, an Indian joked about India. That’s racist!

Wow, a gay made a gay joke. Oh no!

I’ve reviewed the evidence, and concur with my favourite sex pest.

Who do you believe?

These are the good guys?

Miners disgust me.

Grrrr Mittanimanbad PEDOWAFFE hathathat.

Welcome to EvE 2022, where my alliance is stronger than TEST.

I can’t wait to see what happens next.

Cheers!

Vagur yet?

I hope you had a wonderful Juneteenth.

Here is a fun story to share with friends and family.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

katsuya lost a Vargur.

I always know what men need.

Can you guess what happened next?

Do you think he paid me?

Scroll down to find out (and be prepared)!

Did you guess correctly?

Is vagur yet?

He even thanked me))))

I don’t think vagur yet((((

xaxaxa

Where is gibasten13+1?

A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.

gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.

He was last seen threatening irl violence.

Some people are retarded in real life.

This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.

gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.

13+1 is an unlucky number.

He loved that number, and I killed it.

He just couldn’t let it go.

So I kicked him.

Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.

However, where is he today?

At first glance, you might think he hates me.

Actually, he is in love.

I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.

I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.

Nice!