Puppers Gets a Gila

Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.

He wasn’t joking.

Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.

Oh boy, a discount Gila!

He sold everything he had…

…to buy a Moa.

Oh, it’s a free Moa…

With premium insurance!

So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.


Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.

So he employed null security comms.

This went as well as one might expect.

Puppers even tried a wormhole!

His friends were happy to help.

Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.

When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.

The Goons were using an isk tracker.

So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.

Eventually, Puppers contacted me.

He seemed confused.

The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.

Apparently, his new home was in Thera?

Who told him to go there?

Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.

Another happy ending!


Neurotica 1, Part 8

Listening to: Happy Miner Payout

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 decided to buy CCP.

I play EvE Online, and I know something about business.

Isk doubling is illegal in real-life. lololololol…

Here are some some red flags. LoL!

So let me be clear.

Never go full Fighter Jets Guitarsolo.

Erotica just wanted me to invest.

I would tell a grand jury, something seemed wrong.

This concern only grew.

Erotica sold 60 ‘units’, ‘valued’ at $30’000, for $5000.

Does that sound legal?

Would you invest?

He was selling NFTs that never even existed.

Real-life investments are not guaranteed.

This was textbook securities fraud. Ironic. Ha!

Erotica knew exactly what he was doing.

He was inspired by real life scams.

This was getting weird.

Really weird.

With his $5000, Erotica went all in on cryptogirls.

Then he began blocking all the doubters.

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 7

Listening to: Dark Techno 2018

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.

He decided to get rich, quick.

PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.

As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.

His ‘friends’ were concerned.

Surprisingly, the scam worked.

Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.

This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.

As a woman, I often feel uppity.

Am I a space Karen…

…or a reasonably concerned citizen?

I decided not to commit securities fraud.

No thank you!

Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.

If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.

To be continued…

Highsec Recruiting, Part 3

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.

This would require preparation.

Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.

In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.

Our relationship began to blossom.

However, I don’t like impudence.

Mason is a real miner.

Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!

Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.

Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.

It was time to turn over a leaf…

My expectations were clear.

I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.

So Mason sent his life savings.

Now I have Mason right where I want him.

He hates being told what to do…

…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.

Everyone was impressed!

It was the start of a new era.

Mason is my miner.

I sure hope we get along!

What a good boy.

He deserves me!


Highsec Recruiting

Recently, Goose considered a return to Highsec.

There’s a lot of geese!

Recruiting channels buzzed with the good news.

Banned for life, GM Goose is back!

So I agreed to an interview.

Oh, there’s that deadbeat Luci Gotti.

He’s worthless.

Ok, but what about Goose?

They accused him of multiboxing.

That’s a real thing!

As proof, Dr Tron cited Reddit.


Hucker Carlson investigates…

I spoke truth to the powerless.

However, I was also hungry.

Meanwhile, Dr Tron decided to pick a fight.

We will hear more from Mason, soon!

Meanwhile, Dr Tron became desperate for attention.

Miners sure are silly!

To be continued…

Real Talk

I like to have fun.

Recently, I reported breaking news.

Zazz is a former fan.

Remember the good old days, when Zazz still played EvE Online, after James 315 ragequit two years before?

Haha. Remember that time The Aggressor dunked James, who spent eight (8!) years writing a therapy blog, before disappearing, just like he did after his previous hobby involving… political content?

Me and James 315, we agree on politics like Ocasio-Cortez and Mitch. However, the old turtle has been dead for years. His CODE. was a tea party, astroturfed by George, which collapsed when the bubble burst. I am more sophisticated than that. By applying the principles of Hari Seldon, the Order has evolved into a grassroots autocracy.

Many battles, she emerged victorious,
Leaving her foes feeling notorious.


Bards don’t hiphop for Zazz.

James was a funny man, but I’m not.

I’m just here to help.

Some miners yearn for the old Minerbumping, with Annie Frank who on September 6, 2018, said “You did really good work. I really appreciate your new and different post. Please guys keep it up and share with us some unique post in the futureMenmy shopCar Stereo Double Din Android Player Hyepersonic Double Din Player Hyundai Creta Double Din Player CBSE open school cbse private banzaraon journeyAdj online.”

James always believed in me, even if Zazz lost faith.

I don’t think this is funny.

Who writes erotic fanfic about me and James, in the belt?

I get it… This is an ‘origin’ story.

Grrr. Hulksgarrrrr hathat. Hulkgeddon SMASH

“Praise Aiko!” is reverberated throughout the entire starbase, again and again, as the fleet takes off. Today, the miners will be hunted. Today, the miners will once again know fear.

It goes on, and reaches a happy ending.

Neurotica 1, Part 5

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously… Erotica 1 was a very bad boy.

You can listen to one bonus round here.

Just go ahead and open your inventory, select all your assets, and contract those to me. Ok?

Ok. What, wait? What am I doing? Why? Fuck you.

Here is an authentic customer testimonial:

I agree wholeheartedly that the “bonus room” is just what Jester described: A torture chamber. I had the “pleasure” of becoming a bonus room contestant earlier this week, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. I had just come into some PLEX as a gift and had ISK to burn, so I – foolishly – decided to try out Erotica 1’s “ISK Doubling Service.” To my amazement, I actually “won” and my ISK was doubled. I double checked his rules, and tried to submit more ISK. This time, though, I was told that I had won a bonus room, and I had a chance to earn even more ISK by demonstrating my faith. I wasn’t really interested, but I had no other chance to get the ISK that I had put in back. I got into the bonus room, and after a bit of discussion, I was promised that I would get five times my investment if I showed complete faith. I didn’t want to, but I felt so trapped, and the people in the room were very convincing. I finally began transferring all of my assets – about 5 billion ISK worth – to the members in the room. After they had all of my assets, they told me that I needed to complete a few additional tasks. Once again, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice, since they had all my assets. I had no idea what to do. They made me read some poetry and sections from various websites.

Erotica decided to try this in real life.

Step 1: He needed to create blogs.

During this step, he exploited his IRL infant’s name.

He also joined OnlyFans.

This became increasingly awkward.

Step 2: His ‘daughter’ began playing EvE Online.

Potential investors were confused.

Erotica was inspired by the inventor of ethical isk doubling.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: PROFIT

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 4

Neurotica 1, Part 1

The Sokhar Bonus Room changed EvE Online.

This was a real scandal.

Basically, Sokhar was a lucky winner, invited to Erotica 1’s sexualized ingame glory hole. After several hours of hard study, whilst reading a Wikipedia history of Saint Olga, Our Lady of Kiev, Sokhar became flustered. He began to feel agitated, and this triggered his wife. Someone, let’s call them Justin, might have made an unsympathetic comment about panic attacks. When that didn’t go over well, and Sokhar’s wife saw that he loved EvE Online more than her, the result was nothing less than a literal meltdown. It’s hard to listen to the Sokhar recording, which is why it has been lost to history, but you can’t help but feel bad for this poor woman, who clearly didn’t enjoy EvE.

There’s a lot that could be said, and has been said. An interesting twist is that Sokhar himself insisted no harm was done. However, CSM member Jester the Pleb led a whiteknight crusade for space justice, denouncing Erotica 1 as a predator. He saw Erotica not merely as a video game scammer, but as a real life monster. Ultimately, CCP sided with Sokhar’s wife, and perhaps that was best. However, the truth is less complicated. Erotica is not a griefer. He just wants sex (and money).

One day, Erotica 1 asked for my help.

I am not writing this as Aiko Danuja, a character in a video game. I am writing as [REDACTED], a polite lady from the SOUTH SIDE, a young up and comer from the block. One day, this strange man I didn’t know, begged me to marry him. He also happened to be Erotica 1.

Although I am a successful journalist in EvE Online, I am also doing well in this world. Sometimes, I just want to focus on real life. Indeed, it is lawful for me to discuss my ex, and his convoluted plans to fuck me (and get rich). So this is about my IRL relationship with Erotica 1.

Erotica made a deliberate decision to repeatedly and proudly reveal his identity to the world, with multiple posts across multiple platforms, all intended to attract attention to himself. I cannot respect Erotica’s decision to dox himself, but I will certainly respect his awe inspiring and truly boundless ambition.

He proposed to me, and I accepted (of course). This makes Erotica my real-life ex-fiancé. So please don’t begrudge me if I affectionately refer to him as Justin, because that’s his name, which he so clearly indicated he wanted to be known by. Of course, I’ll do his family the favor of not acknowledging the full name, which places me in full compliance with NATO privacy laws. So ya, we got engaged…

This is a story about a man, a woman, and the fate of the galaxy (in real life). She played EvE Online, and he was permanently banned (for sex crimes in outer space). However, what if he came back?

Along the way, I was guided by George, the CODE. executor who originally taught Erotica how to isk double.

Justin decided to make a blog four blogs. That was in itself problematic, as he claimed to be using the irl name of his infant child.

This would not end well.

On his blogs, Erotica openly came out as a man, who enjoys sex. Furthermore, he vowed to save the Ukraine, as champion of Kiev. Meanwhile, he became CEO of NFT Corporation.

At every opportunity, he gleefully doxxed himself.

Erotica’s ‘daughter’ intended to change the world.

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part III

Erotica 1 was EvE Online’s most famous isk doubler.

This is a true story, all people based on real characters.

The CFC kicked him for being too… erotic.

Previously, Erotica 1 came back from retirement.

It was an awkward return.

Erotica 1 is a very nice guy.

So we had a little chat.

He asked some strange questions!

It was a very awkward return.

Eventually, we came to a conclusion.

Erotica 1 is a man.

He is a man who enjoys sex. Hypersex.

He also had a cunning plan.

This was a plan to have sex (and get rich quick).

To be continued…

Special Time

Destiny Corrupted is bad at screenshots.

Let’s check the logs…

[01:01:52] MUHU001 > я бы тебе денег перевел 10 милиона [01:01:56] MUHU001 > дибил [01:04:08] Destiny Corrupted > Вы должны купить разрешение на перевозку [01:04:18] Destiny Corrupted > 100KK ))) [01:05:34] MUHU001 > я новенкий откуда я знаю где покупать я играю 6 день и лечу откуда начал [01:06:16] Destiny Corrupted > Ваши великие лидеры начали эту войну [01:06:35] Destiny Corrupted > Мы только защищаем себя [01:06:57] MUHU001 > меня ваша война не интересует


MUHU001 > I’m new how do I know where to buy I play 6 days and fly from where I started

MUHU was just a newbro.

MUHU001 > and what do you want me to raise money for a new powerful ship and also start fighting against you
Destiny Corrupted > A war that is going very badly for you!
MUHU001 > I’m not interested in your war

MUHU was not interested in his own wars.

Even when his alliance is the aggressor…

MUHU001 > I’m just upgrading the character
Destiny Corrupted > I’m just doing my job
MUHU001 > that’s mean

However, he vowed to fight back against meanies.

MUHU001 > I can also fly on my armagidon and destroy all passing ships and no one else will pour into your system
MUHU001 > I realized only one thing for myself, if I die, I will hunt too and 6 people can join

He promised to hunt Destiny.

MUHU001 > I repeat to you again, we are not all of us beginners on day 6, if it goes on like this, we will start hunting
MUHU001 > and our yel will not be an industry but a bounty hunt

He was serious.

MUHU001 > you are very mistaken if I bought armagidon and other beginners mind enough, believe me, I’m not a child
MUHU001 > how better to ship the ship, you would not rush to your conclusions it can become a boomerang for you

Destiny is finished!

MUHU001 > next time I’ll go there to you if I heal, I will destroy and fly not alone but in a group
MUHU001 > you finished the game
MUHU001 > and everyone will know about it you will be outcasts
MUHU001 > a squeak to you and not to seal, you can give normal people just like that

POP QUIZ: How do you say asteroid slave farmers in Russian?

Destiny Corrupted > There is no one in your “group” except asteroid slave farmers
MUHU001 > suck then silently
Destiny Corrupted > Get your whole fleet over here right now
MUHU001 > suck silently I said
MUHU001 > sheep pissed

MUHU was getting excited.

Destiny Corrupted > You talk a lot but do little
MUHU001 > talk less suck more, you will suck
Destiny Corrupted > It will be even more embarrassing when I destroy your entire fleet while I suck

It was a special time.

Destiny Corrupted > Where is the fleet?