Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=
Well, hello there.
People love what I do.
Returning quitters know my name.
They even know my alts!
I must be doing something…
Let’s see the latest thing I done did.
Oh look, another botfarm.
Sad to see…
EvE Online sure has a lot of bots.
I just kill them all.
You love it!
That’s right…
It’s that special time again.
Miners love to write letters.
Some write more than others.
They are such losers.
They are notorious anti-Semites.
They are also sexist.
Why do you think we gank them?
That’s right.
That’s right!
o7 capsuleers…
Previously, the blog shut down forever and ever.
We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.
I recently made a new friend.
Elie would not stay silent.
However, he was rather romantic.
What a guy.
He had a lot to say.
He also had a few demands.
I decided to offer a guarantee.
All he wanted was a free ship.
I put him in touch with a delivery agent.
We’ve seen this pattern before.
I call this the 30 10 30 trick deal.
This is how it works.
There’s a lot of math.
After several protests, he paid.
Finally, Elie understood.
This is a sunk cost fallacy.
Backward Ns indeed.
I guess we are all done here.
I assume he got what he wanted deserved.
Another satisfied customer!
He was proud of his new permit.
I suppose something was lost in translation…
Any last questions?
Any at all?
I was happy to explain.
=DEEP THOUGHTS WITH ELIE=
Who’s the greatest ganker of them all?
Hint: It’s Aiko Jasmina Danuja.
That’s right.
I know exactly what they need.
They love it!
You know what I mean?
That’s right.
o7 capsuleers…
=AUDIENCE REACTION=
That’s right!
Are you looking for romance in EvE Online?
Shozarar Basa Sarain > you can kill me all you want take my MTUs
Shozarar Basa Sarain > It may be little but it gget the job done.
Shozarar met that special someone…
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ever princess need someone like me.
Every miner has a fantasy.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > What do you like about your self?
Aiko Danuja > BEING THE BEST
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Whats the real you like?
Aiko Danuja > IM STILL THE BEST
Shozarar Basa Sarain > True
That’s right.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Just the thought of you will keep me awake.
Aiko Danuja > You think about me?
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Sine you killed me yes. Every day since.
At first, Shozarar tried hearts.
Yep.
There was a lot of that.
We actually had a lot one thing in common.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > So what you do for fun?
Oh, and gardening (or the lack thereof)!
What we had was really special.
I’m the best!
He even named his new mining ship after me.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Theres only one sit so you have to sit on my lap hope that ok.
Isn’t that sweet?
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ill do anything for you.
Aiko Danuja > what a good boy
Every man needs a permit.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > We should do a moive night?
Aiko Danuja > you just want to get close to me
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Well yes
Omg, he asked me on an internet date!
Shozarar Basa Sarain > A nice glass of red wine, a candle or two, and capellini
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Capellini tossed in a rustic tomato sauce with garlic, olive oil, and fresh vegetables, served with a glass of red wine by candlelight.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > And if we do are date night I send you the money
Eventually, he had to face reality.
Sad!
Shozarar Basa Sarain > I was ganked yes, did I know yall would do that no, did die by you yes. Dont care
Aiko Danuja > You definitely care.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > I only care about you.
Shozarar Basa Sarain > you like jazz?
Aiko Danuja > I DON’T DATE MINERS
Shozarar Basa Sarain > What about coffee?
Or not…
Shozarar Basa Sarain > And im not a miner
Shozarar Basa Sarain > im 35
Aiko Danuja > ur the worst
Shozarar Basa Sarain > and ur the best
Aiko Danuja > I HATE YOU
Shozarar Basa Sarain > Ill be here if you want to talk
Have you had an experience like this?
I’ll literally take the shirt off your back.
You aren’t the only one…
o7 capsuleers!
=BONUS MUSIC=
https://suno.com/song/75def031-c36d-457e-b847-215fd4c83c96?sh=sCgMOHk4trCKHjEM
We interrupt our regularly scheduled content to bring you a post of supreme importance.
Everybody loves Aiko.
People are starting to understand.
I’m the best!
That’s right.
So today, we celebrate Aiko Day.
Everybody is feeling that Aiko spirit.
It’s a real holiday.
On the first Aiko Day, I declared war upon the Minnies.
By the second Aiko Day, I had my first nightmare!
James 315 subsequently declared this to be a state holiday.
He used this time to reflect upon the future of warfare.
As a prophet of Aiko, James foresaw the future.
This was a rather long essay…
Some people say James liked to get really high.
I certainly do!
Well, that concludes our Aiko Day festivities.
That’s right!
This post sponsored by: Baguio Botanical Garden
My name is Aiko Danuja.
Everybody is thinking about me.
Felix even made a musical!
=(AGE RESTRICTED CONTENT WARNING)=
Isn’t that sweet?
I’m the most beautiful woman in the galaxy!
You know what I mean?
That’s right.
That’s right!
Every miner deserves my justice.
o7 capsuleers!
Miners are starting to figure me out.
They like my alliance.
We love to relax.
That’s right.
That’s right!
Word is getting around.
I’m having fun.
Recently, Arc Reven revealed the TRUTH.
He told me every fantasy.
That’s right.
He’s not a fan of the Bible.
He hates AMERICA.
He has Aiko Derangement Syndrome.
o7 capsuleers!
Here’s a song I like.
I made it all about me.
In EvE Online, I roleplay as a blogger.
It works well for me.
That’s right.
That’s right!!
Here’s some bonus artwork by an adoring fan!
o7 capsuleers…
