Vagur yet?

I hope you had a wonderful Juneteenth.

Here is a fun story to share with friends and family.

We now return to our regularly scheduled programming.

katsuya lost a Vargur.

I always know what men need.

Can you guess what happened next?

Do you think he paid me?

Scroll down to find out (and be prepared)!

Did you guess correctly?

Is vagur yet?

He even thanked me))))

I don’t think vagur yet((((

xaxaxa

Where is gibasten13+1?

A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.

gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.

He was last seen threatening irl violence.

Some people are retarded in real life.

This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.

gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.

13+1 is an unlucky number.

He loved that number, and I killed it.

He just couldn’t let it go.

So I kicked him.

Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.

However, where is he today?

At first glance, you might think he hates me.

Actually, he is in love.

I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.

I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.

Nice!

Victory in Tolle

Every day brings new victories.

When maximus died, I knew he was special.

He told his mining mates that everything was fine.

He thought he was winning.

maximus orelious > you lost more isk than me
maximus orelious > do the math
maximus orelious > you got schoooled
maximus orelious > yall lost more isk than me lmao
Jinx Beirutbomb > Miner, are you bad at math?
maximus orelious > i only lost 57 mil

maximus orelious > actually less cause my wreck stilll there
Aiko Danuja > How much salvage can you get from a retriever wreck?
Lufiaspawn > you’re all fools, he’ll make that isk back in 2 weeks of mining 10 hours a day!

Maximus didn’t believe a girl could kill an Orca.

If he read my blog, he’d know something.

Krig Povelli taught me a secret trick.

I can’t kill orcas, but my boyfriend can!

Maximus tried to bluff his way out.

Then he tried to scam me.

He even sent an unfit barge!

Meanwhile, the other Procurer tried ganking.

As always, I was victorious.

Nice!

LIVE UPDATE:

Dress for Success

Some exciting news from CCP!

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Our luxury fitwear is manufactured in the finest Bangladeshi facility.

We have a full line of cute summer apparel.

Alpha males can impress the ladies with their own style.

Nice!

Show your pride, with the number one Highsec mining guild!

That’s right!

Death of a Miner, Part 3

Death of a Miner, Part 1

Previously, the Duke vowed to resist the Princess.

Many wonder about the mysterious lady in flashy red.

Is she actually a she?

Some people claim she is James 315, the Mittani, and Loyalanon

Other people notice a distinct difference. 

Aiko is an actual b-word c-word.

The Duke tried to be transphobic, but it didn’t feel right.

He knew, deep down, that she is an IRL w-word s-word.

Could he resist her evil temptations?

He liked her sass.

Duke had been committing video game suicide.

However, he had second thoughts.

He’d never met a woman who made him feel so inadequate.

The Duke was starting to feel something magical.

He finally met an IRL female, and he liked it.

Just like that, the spell was complete, and he transformed into a simp.

Mining bored Duke to the brink of death.

Fortunately, Aiko retained his subscription.

Death of a Miner, Part 2

Previously, Princess Emmylou bemoaned the death of a Procurer.

The decedent wondered whether Princess Aiko is truly a dumb b-word/c-word.

The Duke winced, because the truth hurt.

He finally realized that Aiko is an s-word, in real life.

She’s definitely a total s-word…

…and a tease!

The dead miner was caught in her magical web.

He was so excited to meet a woman, in a video game.

He felt like she was right there, mocking his little thing in real life.

Maybe she would text with him?

To be continued…

Super Toxic B

People are starting to notice.

I’m minerjamming.

It’s pretty great.

I’m like a sexy James 315, in Tama!

Same blue background, with a super cute face!

Xaxaxa)

Did you know I multibox multiple alpha accounts?

Oh ho ho.

This is the best.

Ain’t never gonna stop!

Miner Durishaka couldn’t get enough.

He didn’t know what to think.

EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?

Transcript, “Aiko is a super toxic b… with an army of simps!”

So he checked me out on Google.

Transcript, “Googling Princess Aiko, and the first result is sex with James 315…”

EDITOR’S NOTE: What’s the point of streaming if you remove your clips?

What a goofus!

That’s right!

That’s right!

Antiganking with Aiko

Even the best antigankers strive to perfect their craft.

Recently, I decided to level up.

I just won’t fight ships that can shoot back.

Tama is a safe space for my friends.

You are on Team Aiko, or you are trash.

Even big dog streamers are watching me.

There’s nothing else they can do.

Here’s a funny thought.

I literally have no balls, at all — in real life!

Erik Meets a Good Girl

Listening to: Chantilly Lace

Erik Draven was ganked by the Loot Fairy.

Poor Erik didn’t have a friend in the galaxy(((

Freedom left him empty inside.

Erik found himself watching a certain someone.

He began to feel something special.

This was his big chance, but did he really have to pay?!

Erik wanted to learn more about the High High Heroin.

As he studied her Holy Word, he was filled with FAITH.

Unlike Hrothgrrarianism, this is a CODE. which people want to be part of.

Doubting Erik experienced a miraculous conversion.

He wasn’t gonna wind up in an incel Lewakian monastery.

True happiness is Chantilly lace and a pretty face…

…and a pony tail ahangin down!

So spend all your money!

Where’s Kalvin?

In ye olden times of yore, the Minerbumping channel was a place where good agents were summarily banned for trivial reasons, with no judicial recourse (other than praying to a dead guy, who quit undocking a decade ago). This happened, for example, when Salah felt Jerry Rin and karma balancer were being disrespectful.

From: Salah ad-Din al-Jawahiri
Sent: 2018.02.12 09:33
To: [redacted] 

Hi friends,

I’m writing this little essay here because… issues with certain people, like karma balancer, who has an existential grudge against me for no apparent reason. I even have a recording of him calling me a piece of shit on Teamspeak and saying that all Russians must be bombed… As for mod rights, I’m all for redistributing them, but there has to be a set of guidelines…

Praise James!

Likewise, when Lewak became jealous of Aiko Danuja. Or when Super Perforator came down with a bad case of terminal autisms. It’s the sort of stuff that James 315 never wrote about, because he never knew about it.

Fortunately, the modern Why Was I Ganked? channel is a bastion of due process. We finally managed to redistribute the mod rights, by creating a new channel, and a new alliance, with new guidelines for a new New Order.

Woah there, Iceminer, let me just stop you right there.

Pay rent, on time each month, or get out of Highsec.

Do you want to wind up like Mick Barmata?

My fees are very reasonable!

Anyways… Miners have legal rights, under the auspices of the CODE. and your lawful High Queen Regent dispenses sweet justice according to her regal whim, whenever and however the Heroin decides. That’s only fair, right?

Recently, Kalvin Rothchild summoned his antiganking alt.

Kalvin paid 100 million to be unbanned, only to be rebanned!

It is my pleasure to clarify why Kalvin is rebanned.

Recently, a mysterious CODE.-Safety. taskforce went All-Out, apprehending Kalvin’s mining alt. I found this to be most pleasurable.

Kalvin’s Princess Aiko barbie doll promptly began crying.

This went on for quite some time.

On and on…

The logs are voluminous.

Kalvin, I’m gonna need another 100 million isk.

You done wrong, and I like money.