Category: Sex

Dirty Business

Hey there.

Each day brings new friends.

Yesterday, I helped Lady Krabs purchase 12 mining permits.

Then she reported me to the SSR.

The next morning, Mrs. Krabs woke up to reality.

Op success.

Another content subscriber.

Now the Krabs ladies can mine in peace.

Osmon is also the home of my beloved Cultural Center.

I can’t keep a secret.

He’s a real people person.

I’m glad everyone is happy.

That’s right.

Feel free to send your isk.

Works for me.

I wonder how things are going in Osmon?

Sounds like things are going great.

Thanks for the free isk, bro.

I’m glad we are friends.

Miner Obsession, Part 2

Dark Disco

Miner Obsession, Part 1

Hey there.

I’m a subject matter expert (SME).

Welcome to Part II of my FanFest Presentation.

Miners have been stalking gankers for years.

Sometimes, they just want to say hi.

Believe it or not, there are women in the galaxy.

I’m doing great, btw.

You just can’t win Incels Online.

Some people can’t decide if I’m a guy or a girl.

Bro…

In game or out of game.

Ain’t no man getting attention like this.

If I ‘win’ EvE, at least you’ll know why.

Regardless, boys only want one thing from me.

Whatever I am, they love it.

Honestly, some of them are just plain crazy.

He wants me to commit suicide, in real life.

Blocking him doesn’t work.

I’ve blocked him at least 100 times.

Ain’t I a woman?

(yes he drew that)

Here’s the same guy, a month later.

Same guy, twenty minutes later.

Three minutes later.

Another month later.

See what I mean?

Oh look, another antiganker.

These plebs are obsessed with me, in real life.

I deserve it – right?

Oh boy, it never stops.

The diagnosis is clear.

I’m gonna blog.

Some of this is funny.

Most of it is cringe.

Some of it is mental.

All of it is batshit crazy.

Oh man, I really missed out.

What???

Uh…

Anyways…

No!

To be continued…

Miner Obsession

=Trigger Warning: EvE Online=

Miners have a lot to say.

Previously, on my best EvE Online blog.

Miners think about me a lot.

It’s a competition, to see who obsesses the most.

Yep, I’m lookin great.

[ 2024.08.25 22:15:53 ] Kathus > onlyganks.com

I don’t mind a little flattery.

However, antigankers go too far.

They take it from awkward to creepy.

It gets a little weird.

I’m not looking for a boyfriend in EvE Online.

Sorry to disappoint.

Uh…

Wtf is a sparrow?

I’m not a tsundere! Hmph.

I actually haven’t read all these mails.

See, that’s where it gets crazy…

Bro…

We aren’t going to Iceland together.

Steven, my guy… you mail me all the time.

To be continued…

Leadership

Yesterday, we saw the burden of alliance leadership.

Voluminous unsolicited correspondence.

Oh boy…

Thanks for the intel.

I get lot of inquiries.

It’s not a cult. We are a congregational Fellowship of Friendos.

Next time, we’ll talk about sexual harassment in EvE Online.

That’s right.

That’s not gonna happen.

Like wtf.

Yep, that’s an antiganker.

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #247

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #246

Oh, hey there.

I guess it’s mailtime.

Some miners are not upset.

They are quite calm.

Some miners roleplay as notaminers.

No mining in Delve!

That’s right.

This Orca had plenty of ‘no’ warning…

It was all a setup! The miner exposed CCP’s evil ways.

I’m the most upvoted person in EvE forum history.

Unlike some people, I actually play EvE Online.

I get way too much email (unlike James, I don’t have a cute secretary).

It is funny tho.

A mining sniper, and not even his first time…

Bro has been doing that longer than I’ve played.

Send me one billion isk, buy 5 get one free.

Boy, I got so much game up in here.

Wow, just wow.

I can’t wait to hear more.

That’s right.

I won’t tolerate griefing in my alliance.

Sure thing, little buddy.

Ah, but I’m also cute.

That’s my isk/hr.

Hey, I’m having fun)

Astero Wannabe

In EvE Online, carebears are creepbears.

Everything has a price.

There’s only way to respond.

I sent IceyCreeper619 straight to Zboard.

Then I sent a bill, for a bill.

What a neat trick.

Get ganked, miner.

That’s right.

Every miner has a dream.

It’s always nonsense.

Don’t forget to buy your mining permits.

Drinkin Drank

Listening to: MEGASAFE

It happened last night.

Oof.

Then it happened again.

That’s truly amazing.

He’s too poor for simping.

He’s just a Highsec miner.

What a pleb.

Miners are to be euthanized, and not heard.

=BONUS CONTENT=

Hananeri Muvila released his AI generated album, with such hits as Safety, Mining, and Aiko Wormtongued My Orca.

Suck a D B

Listening to: My Let’s Play Mix

Red and basepilled.

Capsuleers make their own fate.

We like to help.

EvE Online is an Xtreme video game.

Ok, I’ll play, but…

Some of them went too far.

I know what to do.

Let’s kill them all.

Problem solved.

~=BONUS CONTENT=~

Sargon has released the MarkeeGankedOn cinematic experience.

Check it out boys.