Hey there

Hey, I’m Aiko.

People love my best EVE Online blog.

They tell me all the time.

That’s right!

I know what men want.

What do you think I want?

A girl has needs.

It’d be a real shame if you had a Safety incident.

Nobody likes a poor.

Right?

Cheers!

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 3

Boris Goes Bananas, Part 1

Previously, in EVE Online… a miner died (thrice).

Boris was dismayed, because his lesbian aunt is a Highsec ganker.

These are actual screenshots of EVE Online gameplay.

Like many miners, Boris doesn’t care about mining.

Losers just love to explain how they still don’t care.

I’m happy to listen.

I am Aiko, Princess of the Forest…

…and Slut of Copenhagen.

I look forward to hearing from you.

What a game…

We will get to Paradise – and you will all just die!
V.V.Putin

Boris sure trolled me.

I’m a scary girl!

In Dein Mund

Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.

Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.

I don’t mind the attention.

I’m here to help.

Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

That’s the truth!

I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).

What can I say?

You can’t deny success.

Novus Plebo

I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.

However, James 315 knows the truth. I wrote him sincerely, explaining the problem and the solution. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to move on, and he wanted us to move on. I’ve also heard that I “stole” his legacy, as if this blog is just an elaborate scam, and those who support me are confused.

My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. They praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even write a blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.

Let me be quite clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.

I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t even mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in the mining permit? Puh-leez. This is just a forgery.

Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is

Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…

Whadda was disgusted.

What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?

Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?

Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.

This is why James left me in charge, not you.

Friends Forever

A working girl has bills to pay.

I like when men notice me.

aphunmc gave me a great idea.

MarshallTeagan > so if you wanna take care of you permit aphreshmc for 30mil for 1 year we can do that?
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan i will literally shit down ur moms throat
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc if i had a billion isk i could stand up to these fuckers
Aiko Danuja > id buy myself a faction jammer and fuck them up
aphreshmc > MarshallTeagan im gnna kill u
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc can i have 50 million isk please
aphreshmc > k
Aiko Danuja > thanks friend
Aiko Danuja > aphreshmc Can I borrow another 50 million isk please?
Aiko Danuja > Thank you friend.
aphreshmc > frendz
aphreshmc > D:

I would take money from him and his alts.

I love borrowing from friends.

It’s the best part of EVE.

This is how I play.

I’m your best friend, always!

Aiko Danuja > aphunmc can i borrow 50 million isk please
aphunmc > i just spent ALL my isk
Zeroskillzz > aphunmc can i borrow 50 mil to give to Aiko?
aphunmc > Aiko Danuja arent u like in charge here?

I’m in charge of this friendship.

That’s right.

Some girls are mean.

I’ll put a spell on you.

All I want is bling.

Ya know?

I deserve it.

I’m entitled.

Another Victory

Previously, in Highsec… someone has been hunting down blingy furry marauders, snuffing out their pitiful yiffs in a dark abyss…

The EVE community was in shock.

Subsequently, Victor Medvil (a powerful Highsec miner, with advanced military-industrial skills) began publicly denouncing me.

Since I am open-minded, I wondered if this were true. This was my #METOO moment. The truth about Aiko was out! My organization was orchestrating an intergalactic conspiracy of mental illness related sexual abuse. Allegedly.

Reporters were requesting my appearance on the Intergalactic News Network, where I was expected to admit my involvement in sexual terrorism.

I drafted a response, but it felt empty and hollow. Something was missing. I needed to find a way to prove, once and for all, that I am pure Heroin.

Suddenly, an idea came to me. I would set myself an impossible task, a feat that would even impress James 315. I would convince staticfxx’s boydogfriend to calm down, accept me as High Princess, and purchase a mining permit.

Some people say that I’m a witch.

That’s right.

Furry Problems

Being the leader of a major EVE alliance isn’t all fun and games. From time to time, I must deal with serious ethical issues, in outerspace.

I had just woken up, and was alerted to a developing crisis.

Someone, who is not in my alliance, dunked a Highsec miner.

Consequently, another Highsec miner (who doesn’t have a permit) has vowed to stop supporting my old alliance, CODE. This quickly became an animal rights issue, as staticfxx (and his boyfriend) identify as dogs.

The barnyard was abuzz, and my inbox soon filled with messages, as dog rights activists demanded action against the goose bees. Honkbzz.

Victor left several elements out of his complaint. For example, he was in the mining fleet, and none of them had a mining permit. Come on Victor, you know better. You tried to play yourself as an objective bystander, but you were the aggressor! Yes, Victor started the fight, when he attempted to gank a goose. Furthermore, moments before he was ganked, staticfxx went AFK to “grab munchies” and “take a poop”.

Prophetically, when the miners accepted their mission in Kamio, they praised God for giving them a mission in 0.7 (as they were tired of mining in 0.8). Yes, God sent them to Kamio, and God passed divine judgment upon them.

I initially assumed that staticfxx was ganked for the same reason every other miner is ganked. They all deserve to die. Right? After all, there are furry gankers. There are gay gankers. I’ll even come out of the closet, and acknowledge that I kissed a girl, and I liked it. Oh, yes. Indeed, after I went to staticfxx’s Twitch channel (to investigate crimes against humanity), I discovered another reason to gank.

staticfxx’s boy dogfriend has a bad attitude.

Never in my life, have I been subjected to such abuse, from an uptight hypersensitive dogsplaining cartoon. When I told him it that I’m a feminist, and I deserve to be treated with respect, it said this was a “low blow”. However, it has no qualms about pulling the “furry” card on me. That’s some real hypocrisy!

I don’t care if you identify as a cartoon. However, you shouldn’t expect people to take this seriously. Indeed, the miners didn’t take it seriously. After the gank, they said they “don’t care” about the “pathetic” attack from “108” Catalysts. They claimed to have so much money, they could buy our mom’s house, and kick us out of the basement. Nevertheless, a little sparrow supercarrier began chirping loudly.

You can hide behind a cartoon avatar, but that doesn’t mean you have the right to come into our galaxy, and start doing whatever you want. Everybody is required to purchase a mining permit, including crybaby furries.

I’m truly sorry, but ‘furry’ just isn’t one of the select minority groups protected under the venerated Code of Newe Halaima.

While I personally don’t target furries (nor is there evidence anyone in, or out of, my alliance has ever done so), your boyfriend’s fursona is not protected by the Civil Rights Act of 1968. Please note that sexuality and species are distinct characteristics, and if you truly identify as a dog, you should expect to be treated like one. If I ever see a dog playing EVE Online, I am definitely going to gank it. I like cats.

Now, it might be true that someone targeted this miner, because he is a dog. Woof! It is also possible that someone merely messaged the miner, and said this, without it being true. It may be that nothing was said. I don’t know. What I do know, is that I don’t fly a blingy Marauder, and neither should you (or your dog).

Get it Done

This is how it’s done.

I’m a miner’s best friend.

I’m here to help!

I’m the best.

I’ve sure come a long way.

Would you like to know more?

That’s fine, I’m having a party in his crypt.

Everybody knows what happened.

Sometimes, these things happen.

Antigankers are gonna need new corporations.

Meanwhile, I’m doing pretty good.

Feel free to join me.

We can have a lot of fun.

You know what I mean?

It’s gonna be great.

I’m Aiko!

Thanks for the support!

That’s right!

Goodnight

I like new players.

I love to help.

Even my enemies adore me.

Everybody is content.

I’ve met a lot of nice men…

…and women too.

I kind of like the attention.

Sometimes they write Soviet love letters.

They just need a little discipline.

Ok, goodnight!

Simping for Anlions

Why, hello there!

That’s right! I’m exactly what James was hoping to summon.

I’m soo cool. I even ganked a Venture!

Ventures are the saltiest pilots in the galaxy.

Angel pretended to be an “I don’t care” bear.

This didn’t last long.

Recently, I noticed the newest carebear corp.

The recruiter from SICO started his own alliance.

Do you think she is cute?

Cuter than me???

I was a little jealous.

Come on boys, don’t simp for Anlions.

She’s got those hooks in deep.

He won’t be joining Princess Aiko Hold My Hand(((

Sad!