Victory in Alsottobier

Oldtimers remember Wenzhou Satsuma.

T’was Wenzhou who battled Gankula.

Like most antigankers, Wenzhou thought he was winning

He pioneered the art of ECM whoring. However, Wenzhou had a dark secret. He didn’t antigank for justice. He antiganked for ore.

When newbros would try to get some, Wenzhou would murder them.

Earlier today, I discovered Wenzhou’s secret moon base, where he would take stolen ores, and reprocess them for sale on the black market of Dodixie. I found his haunted base, and I destroyed it. I erased his foul legacy.

With one stroke, Wenzhou lost everything. The sum total value of every single ganking vessel he ‘destroyed’ (pretending that he didn’t just merely whore on the CONCORD killmail) does not equal the cost of this compression array.

It is a small victory, because Wenzhou was just one of history’s many failtards. Nevertheless, there is a lesson, for those who seek to follow in his footsteps. You might think you are winning, but you are wrong.

A Year of Aiko

Hello, friendos.

It’s been awhile, since James 315 died (in real life).

I remember our last night together, when he observed that the wine tasted rather odd, “With a hint of bitter almonds…”

Meanwhile, the alliance endured a cascade failure.

It was awkward, working with a dead CEO.

Would the community survive, or would we shatter?

Last Christmas, I couldn’t go on, knowing that grade A losers like Super Perforator and Hrothgar were preening themselves with the glory of actual PvP champions. Fortuitously, heroes like loyalanon, Wolf Soprano, Helicity Boson, and Trump the King praised me. I knew what they meant, the time had come to overthrow the old dead God, who left us to rot in the eternal hell of a stagnant alliance.

At long last, I did what had to be done.

The Conference Elite has always supported me.

To be honest, it’s not about James. It never was. The Sheik came long ago, with the blessings of karttoon and the VCBees. Hulkageddon was proclaimed, always! Such wisdom was known to James, and he never claimed otherwise. I’m sure he would understand, and agree, with everything I’ve done.

The CODE. alliance was created by miners, to sell barges and blasters.

Fucking yikes (nine years later).

Super Perforator, the trader, scammed the New Order. When I arrived, there were no Catalysts or modules in the hangars of New Order Logistics. There was nothing but cobwebs, and dusty memories.

James did not create the alliance, nor did he lead the alliance. He watched with dismay, as various pretenders flailed about aimlessly, treating the executorship like a trophy. Shenanigans ensued. Fortunately, John E Normus set things straight, transforming a PvRock roleplay alliance into a genuine PvP freight train. Alas, after loyalanon was banned, the alliance never recovered. In desperation, Kalorned gave James control of the alliance, but James wanted nothing to do with a dead alliance. So he summoned me, in 2018, trusting that an elven vampire Princess would know what to do.

Inspired by Sun Tzu and Thomas Jefferson, James believed that a Code should evolve, and worried that roleplaying gankbears would mindlessly enforce the law. What could be worse, than a bunch of sycophants praising ad nauseum — without undocking? James recognized the need for change, but there was one problem.

James died quite suddenly (and deliberately), because a dead libertarian wants nothing to do with a dead alliance. He had no desire to tell others what to do. They could stay, create a new alliance, whatever. Dead men don’t concern themselves with such matters. Whoever leads, they are the leader.  Of course, James had faith, in a lucky lady.

Some people have been hard on James, arguing that he failed to show leadership. He wouldn’t get in comms, accept conversation requests, engage in discussion, or do anything at all. However, that is not his fault. A dead man simply can’t.

Fortunately, we’ve got a better alliance — stronger and more active.

We can do anything we want.

Bee well.

Double Trouble

Shooting Highsec exhumers used to be a sporting event.

Now it takes fifteen people to kill one AFK Hulk.

On December 12, I was the only person to kill a Highsec Mackinaw.

Miners think they are invincible now.

They love being twice as strong.

What happens when you finally catch one?

Double miners are double salty.

I don’t like their attitude.

So I’m gonna kill them.

This is what they deserve.

That’s right.

You can thank me later.

Also, send me lots of isk.

CHAT LETS GO (pop off)

My alliance is doing well.

You love my -10 stats.

Lately, I’ve been expanding.

Highsec gankers are doing better than nullsec titanbears.

We are a top tier alliance.

Some people are salty about our success.

The wraiths are hungry.

Never go full Ward.

You’ll look stupid (and salty)!

Some people gank Orcas, and some people are Bingo cards.

It must suck to know I have no life, and can play EVE every day. 

If you are gonna trash talk me, make sure not to trash talk yourself.

Hm!

Viirilithizu always knows how to cheer me up.

Previously, Ward wanted killmails…

Now, he doesn’t want them!

Does Ward sound like a salty meme to you?

I wonder if he will stop ranting?

I wish I knew how to do real PvP.

Thanks for helping me write a blog post.

Stay in touch!

I’m glad you are content.

Seriously though…

Meltdowns are forever.

Okay?

I have my doubts!

Go to Hek

I’m currently visiting the tomb of James.

Locals are excited to meet me.

Minnieminers are especially stupid.

Following their recent eviction, PAPI remnants have consolidated in and around Nakugard, to the east, west, north, and south somewhat.

This is an especially popular spot.

These miners have elite nullbear mains.

Readers of Minerbumping.com will recall the story of Timopotamus, a brilliant agent who was enforcing the CODE. long before plebs like Super Perforator ever heard of 315. You will be pleased to know that Timopotamus is still out there, always watching, and (believe it or not) he even submits content to this blog.

Spoiler: Maugrim Rax failed to destroy Timopotamus.

On a whim, we double killed a pair of Procurers.

We also won an elite 1v1 duel.

Jinx!

It sure sucks to be a miner.

Nobody likes a poor.

They are only good for one thing.

Nope

Yesterday, we stared into the abyss.

Was this the end of the galaxy?

Novus Ordo antigankers tried to report gankers for pulling, but the EVE community came together and defended our Highsec traditions.

All is well!

We celebrated by exploit dunking in Uedama.

Here’s a video!

In other news, an Orca had a Safety incident.

Safety inspectors are investigating.

Let’s examine the SRP request.

Ah, I found the problem…

You were trying to run your own business.

Safety first, always!

In Dein Mund

Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.

Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.

I don’t mind the attention.

I’m here to help.

Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.

That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

That’s the truth!

I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).

What can I say?

You can’t deny success.

The end of zoriad

zoriad had a little problem.

His spaceship was melted, by neutron radiation.

It was a special ship, with a special purpose.

Unfortunately, he broke the law.

zoriad was dead, and it was his own fault.

Like most miners, zoriad denied his true mining nature, and insisted that he was just practicing with an exploration industrial.

Now it was time to quit the game, forever.

Like most miners, zoriad is dying of cancer.

It had taken a full month to build his ship.

Now he could never expore again.

Goodbye zoriad.

Novus Plebo

I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.

However, James 315 knows the truth. I wrote him sincerely, explaining the problem and the solution. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to move on, and he wanted us to move on. I’ve also heard that I “stole” his legacy, as if this blog is just an elaborate scam, and those who support me are confused.

My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. They praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even write a blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.

Let me be quite clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.

I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t even mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in the mining permit? Puh-leez. This is just a forgery.

Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is

Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…

Whadda was disgusted.

What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?

Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?

Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.

This is why James left me in charge, not you.

Ice Assassin

Luci Gotti lost a freighter.

So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.

The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.

My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.

Afterward, there were some emails.

I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?

Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.

There’s really only one response.

It’s guaranteed to get a response.

Always!