Still Griefing

CCP wants to protect griefers.

So they released a patch to protect crabs.

CCP values their most toxic customers.

Highsec miners are truly precious.

The new rules are clear.

Antigankers are so ineffective, that CCP stepped in like the referee of a boxing match. They’ve awarded gankers a technical knockout, declaring a stoppage and an end to the carnage. This is fair, because obsessive antigankers are ruining their own lives, desperately following me around and consistently failing to stop me.

I’m having fun, and they aren’t.

So CCP changed the rules of the game.

It will be more difficult to gank newbro freighters, which are used by Highsec wardeccers and nullsec blobbears.

Antigankers thought this was a big win.

It’s the end of ganking forever!

Right?

The gankers are done, right?

I decided to investigate.

Can I still board a Catalyst?

Can I undock my Catalyst?

Well, look at that.

I didn’t even do it for profit.

No tether required!

Taking Out the Trash

Are new players exempt from PvP?

Rookies are, by definition, less than 30 days old.

Although it’s not clear what constitutes “rookie griefing”, it can only occur within a few specific locations.

What exactly is griefing? Nobody knows. I’ve spoken with several gamemasters, and they clearly do not agree with one another. They informed me that CCP has no official definition. Aside from three examples, there is no formal policy.

We are not allowed to scam new players (within a rookie system), or trick them into opening a yellow box, or disrupt the tutorial. However, what happens when a rookie begins mining? They are no longer in the tutorial, so are we allowed to PvP? Indeed, a gank is not a scam, nor a trick, nor is it a scenario in which we “fire freely”.

Is ganking griefing? I find it noteworthy that the rookie griefing policy does not mention ganking, at all.

Only forum trolls claim otherwise.

I’ve asked CCP, whether ganking new players is allowed. If the developers did not want to endanger nubs, then why send them to Hek (a notoriously dangerous system)? I believe the intent is to expose rookies to PvP, via the risk of ganking. I can’t say that CCP agrees, but I asked if they agree, and they certainly did not disagree.

Regardless, Landslide is not a new player.

He died in Eystur, which is neither Lustrevik nor Hek.

He still claimed rookie rights.

What a loser crybaby!

He reported all my accounts.

All of them.

He cried for a long time.

Landslide believes in the Hateless doctrine.

PvP, in a PvP game, is “greefing”.

Landslide decided to take a stand for justice.

He reported everyone.

Subsequently, Landslide followed me to Abudban.

He was on cougar patrol.

The other miners mocked his emotional distress.

The miners didn’t listen to Landslide.

Nobody cared.

Landslide begged Hon Risalo to flee.

However, Hon didn’t want to stop mining.

Indeed, Hon won -46.7 million isk!

Landslide was left crying into the void.

There was nobody left to run away.

Venture Hunting Contest

It’s time for the tenth annual Venture Hunting Contest. This year’s host and master of ceremonies is Krig Povelli. So get out there and kill Ventures, Endurances, and Prospects. If you gank them with a mining ship, you will receive DOUBLE points!

GRAND PRIZE: 3 billion isk
Most Ventures Destroyed: 1 billion isk
Most Prospects Destroyed: 1 billion isk
Most Endurances Destroyed: 1 billion isk
3 x Runner Ups Receive: 100 million isk
3 x Honorable Mentions Receive: 1 Good Job Participation Email

Good luck!

If you would like to contribute to the prize fund, send isk to: Aiko Danuja. Offer not valid in Minnesota.

Manic Griefing

Manic Velocity is full of it.

On his propaganda stream, Manic Velocity tried to create an echo chamber, in which the only allowed opinion is that gankers “want” salt and are “going for” salt. The implication is that gankers are griefers, because they are trying to provoke an emotional reaction. Although ganking is acceptable, griefing is not!

Ganking is fine, nobody has a problem with ganking, but gankers are griefers! Every carebear knows ganking is allowed, but it goes too far when ganking affects another player…

I watched the video again, to ensure I heard correctly. Manic said, “[Hateless] was salty… he was really upset. The fact that he was having this reaction on camera… that’s what the gankers were going for. That’s the reaction they wanted.” Those griefers!

I objected, asking how Manic Velocity knows what we want. He has never spoken to us, but claims mystical insight into our motivations. He then denied that he ever claimed this!

When I observed that he said otherwise, he banned me. This led to a debate over whether “good fight” is a malicious form of griefing, followed by a discussion of blowjobs and golden showers.

Seriously…

Fortunately, Brisc Rubal knows that other show is “weird as hell”, and agreed to actually talk to gankers.

I reccomend you listen to Globby, Joe, Jason, and Zaenis. Great guys! Some people wonder why I wasn’t there, but Queen Elizabeth didn’t have time for interviews, and neither do I. I’m busy ganking miners, but I was pleased to hear that people think I’m the best ganker, the cutest ganker, and the most vicious ganker in the game. That’s right!

Unlike carebear talk shows, the Meta Show doesn’t ban people, even though they disagree with the speakers. This creates a community with open discussion and reasonable debate.

When you actually talk to gankers, it’s hard to argue that gankers are griefers. This is why carebear talk shows have to ban gankers, because if you talk to us, we say things like “Ganking is good for new players…” and “Highsec miners are toxic…” These arguments are compelling, and any rational person will support us.

Ganking makes EvE a better game.

Fleablock wondered about the rumors.

Did Aiko serve in the Beeitnam War?

Who do you think organized the Perimeter Front?

Other people wanted to discuss Orcas.

Hawk intends to kill Orcas, until Hateless stops whining.

Will Highsec miners ever stop crying?

This might take awhile!

Miners are already complaining to Hateless.

Brisc Rubal brought our community together.

Gankers are opposed to genuine harassment: racism, sexism, and death threats. However, ganking is not actual harassment. Unfortunately, some people think ganking is griefing, because emotional streamers voluntarily share their absurd reactions.

What is the final verdict?

If you are a streamer, you are not exempt from PvP. So if you don’t want to be ganked on stream, then don’t stream! You are the one streaming, you are the one broadcasting your reaction to the entire galaxy, and nobody actually wants to watch your boring video.

The Battle of Brap

Hello!

I’ve been traipsing through space.

Recently, I found myself in Brapelille.

EvE University sent their best bounty hunter to track me down.

It was a massacre.

Local miners weren’t sure what was happening.

Newbro Kha’ll barely survived.

However, he saw a business opportunity.

Catalyst salvaging is profitable!

Meanwhile, miners kept dying, one by one.

Kha’ll wasn’t even upset.

He just won’t forget.

Kha’ll found his lifelong space nemesis.

It was his first PvP experience.

He doesn’t care at all.

He’s gonna put a 145 on me.

Kha’ll is a real man.

He told me off.

Now I’ve got a real bounty.

Meanwhile, other miners noticed something amiss.

Raja Ovaert scrambled to salvage additional wrecks.

However, Charles Sheldon was mystified.

He was an EvE veteran, but had never seen anything like this.

Major Miner Sheldon soon joined the other wrecks.

Eventually, antiganking reinforcements arrived.

It was a bad day for the miners of Brapelille.

Sometimes, you just need to dock up.

There’s no shame in being afraid.

Thanks for the free advertising!

What a Hateless crybaby

Believe it or not, but EvE Online is a PvP game. Players fight over resources, in a battle royale. As an analogy, consider the game Fortnite. In the image below, you can see a miner, harvesting ore.

Of course, there’s always a little cutie with a ponytail, who won’t hesitate to shoot a hapless miner.

Carebears whine and moan endlessly, complaining about those meanie “griefers” who engage in PvP. One crybaby recently gave me permission to share his tears with you.

Thank you Hateless.

Hateless sees no problem with “griefing” in nullsec, but he cries foul when someone touches him in Highsec.

I know what you are asking.

Earlier today, Adrian Vexier decided to bump an Orca.

I could have shot Hateless (again), but I was already shooting someone else, so the crybaby miner was perfectly safe. Ultimately, nobody ganked Hateless, but he is still crying.

Nobody shot Hateless. Nevertheless, the mere presence of another player was enough to “provoke an emotional response”. Hateless was frustrated that another player was playing the game. So he sat down next to his motorcycle, and quit his space “job”.

EvE Online “stream fleet” partners are coddled by CCP. They get free handouts, free plex, free skins, and free advertising. Apparently, it’s just not enough. Hateless merely wants to get paid for not playing, with no hassle from the other players.

Minerbumping is a timeless tradition. Consequently, I have no idea how Hateless can feel entitled to mine in Highsec, with a fleet of Hulks, and yet he throws a temper tantrum whenever someone bumps his Orca. What does he expect is going to happen?

Apparently, if you declare Highsec mining to be your “job”, then you can claim harassment because other players are interfering.

Hateless simps rallied to his defense.

New players deserve protection!

Everyone is discussing how to stop gameplay in a game.

Oh boohoohoo, the miner can’t maximize his isk/hr.

Honestly, CCP should stop enabling carebears.

Highsec miners should be banned from the Partner program.

They can go play a different game.

Seriously, just go.

It’s literally a game.

I will give the final word to Dex.

Neospace

If you are a preteen princess from the 90s, then you love Neopets.

Neopets are like furries, but for children.

I wonder how that upgrade went?

With their identities stolen, escaped neopets fled to outer space.

You can hang out with 36.5 billion baseliner civilian catgirls!

Unfortunately, they don’t like Highsec gankers.

The Neopian Federation is a carebear consortium.

Ajna was weak, but she wanted to be strong.

She did some research, and realized I only have 3 friends.

I guess numbers are important after all?

So she started bullying me.

This was one uppity miner.

James 315 was always afraid of duels, always!

Fortunately, I’m actually capable of undocking.

We met at the sun, where it is always high noon.

An HONORIBEL 1v1 duel.

WAR ON FRAT

It’s hard to keep track of all my victories.

James 315 was the most influential player in the history of EvE Online, because he placed me on a pedestal of purified antimatter. When I was just an innocent little noobling, he recognized me as a trueborne Princess of Agil.

Unfortunately, some people just don’t get it.

Stupid people don’t know how stupid they are.

FACT: I’m the greatest capsuleer… ever.

Recently, I tried ganking in nullsec, where CONCORD doesn’t exist.

The bots were amazed.

I’m pretty good at this.

Ganking is a LOT easier without CONCORD.

Apparently, when you play on easy mode, you get killmarks?

Hey, that’s pretty cool!

I’m the perfect woman, a total -10.

That’s right.

Init to Winit

Well, hello there.

Nothing is cringier than a Highsec miner.

Today’s cringe is courtesy of nullblob The Initiative.

Fed Serious spent nearly two years in the Imperial service.

Eventually, he was let go, due to lackluster performance.

Nowadays, he is a Highsec salt miner.

Like many miners, he is completely delusional.

Like many miners, he was eager to talk about nullsec.

Like many miners, he was intrigued by my alliance.

Everyone had questions for the failed nullvet.

After the Casino War, he retired to a life of mindless drudgery.

What a pleb.

Cheers!