Unholy Unpas

The New Order has heritage and history.

Of course, agents are always (get it?) excited to visit Holy Halaima, which James 315 settled in 2012. However, there are many noteworthy systems, such as Arvasaras (where James learned to bump) and Kino (where rebellion triggered eternal Triglavian damnation). Uedama and Isanamo were established as staunch bastions, whilst Agil is celebrated as the birthplace of Princess Aiko. More recently, other systems rose to prominence. For example, in Auviken, the mighty Safety. alliance first eclipsed the dottering CODE. alliance. Likewise, we behold UNHOLY UNPAS, a system infested by Ventures.

It was in Unpas, where we established ourselves as the #1 PvP Champions of ALLTIME. If Halaima is our Mecca, then Unpas is our Medina. It is in Unpas, where heroes such as Shekelstein Shakiel, BigNoseRabbi OyVeyShekels, and CALM DOWN MINERS share the GOOD NEWS with all minerdom. Meanwhile, in adjacent Uitra, false agents lead miners astray with terrible missions.

I remember my own humble beginnings, as a women’s studies major at Hedion University, in the system of Conoban. I was so scared and nervous, that first time I snuck out of the starter system, exploring the adjacent wasteland of Mora. I expected to die instantly, when I jumped the gate, but soon found myself utterly bored with the mundane realities of Highsec. Fortunately, students at Uitra have a more engaging experience. They even have a saying there, “Unpas, where Ventures go to die.”

CCP frowns at shooting newbros in Uitra, but there’s no rule against euthanizing them, once they leave the reservation. Ah, but here’s a question…

Does Venture hunting provide quality content?

Yes, yes, I think so.

Unpas is a sacred place.

Unpas is a SAFE space.

Rejoice, for in Unpas was the Order born anew.

10k

Hey there, I’m Princess Aiko.

I’m nice and cute!

Today, I got my ten thousandth killmail.

I’m a real PvP super heroin.

I’m the best possible princess of all possible princesses.

Ok, see you later!

Second Day of Christmas

With a little faith, you can double your Xmas pleasure.

HO HO HO!

Everyone is having a great time in EvE Online.

Ringlingdingalingringadingdingbing.

Antiganker alazarr spent years trying to buy every Catalyst in New Eden.

Sometimes, the best revenge takes a really long time.

Thanks for the free cats, bro!

There’s never been a better time to enlist.

Hey, this blog just writes itself.

Gosh, you guys are the greatest.

I really do appreciate it, and it does keep me going.

Ganking is neither easy, nor inexpensive.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

Haha, very funny Wah Huren!

Praise My Body

How are Highsec gankers so wealthy?

As a woman, I know how to get money.

I’m not ashamed.

I’m a real keeper.

Men are so silly.

I’m going to kill you all.

You know what I really want?

I’m totally worth it.

That’s right!

Game Over

Miners need attention.

They are usually poor sports.

Crabs aren’t the smartest, even in real-life.

They are rarely calm.

Carebears are slow learners…

…but they are learning.

I’m Princess Aiko.

I’m so elite.

Who’s your mommy?

That’s right.

Miner Madness

I don’t pay much attention to miners.

However, the latest patch has triggered a wave of mewling.

I’m not sure what the fuss is about.

CCP has set an irrational precedent, allowing crybabies in Jita the delusion that anybody cares about them. Pro tip: nobody cares.

I spoke with an unironic Highsec miner.

What’s wrong miner?

Is this the end of AFK mining?

Will miners adapt to economic realities?

Two things are for certain.

Mining is boring, and miners are poors.

There’s no shame in quitting.

Miners need to focus on the big picture.

This is good news.

Is pulling CONCORD an exploit?

Multiple independent sources are confirming that CCP has been warning and/or banning people for “pulling” CONCORD. There has been speculation that this was “abnormal” pulling, and not the normal activity practiced routinely by gankers and antigankers for more than a decade. However, my sources have become increasingly clear that CCP is targeting gankers for routine pulling.

For example, the Novus Ordo antigankbears have been antiganking by pulling CONCORD into ice belts, to protect their Russian mining clients. Now it appears that gankers who counterpull are being warned for “delaying” CONCORD by drawing CONCORD out of the belt (because Novus Ordo is reporting them).

It is true, that pulling affects response times, but for more than a decade this has been normal gameplay. It was specifically allowed.

Are gankers no longer allowed to pull? Perhaps so, but if that is the case, there are going to be some significant changes.

I don’t know what to say.

I’ll just wait to see if CCP replies to my ticket.

Maybe everything is fine?

Fortunately, GM IceCream states it is ok to manipulate CONCORD to decrease (rather than increase) response times. Instead of pulling CONCORD away from the gate (to make it easier to gank on the gate), just pull CONCORD to the station (in order to make it harder to gank on the station). Problem solved!

Indeed, IceCream claims it is ok to spawn CONCORD in specific situations (provided that you do not intentionally reduce CONCORD response times), but as Jason notes, there is no possible scenario in which you can spawn CONCORD without simultaneously reducing response time elsewhere.

Troll me better

Hey there.

We are the most powerful alliance in the galaxy.

Trust is the most valuable commodity in EVE Online.

If you don’t believe me, this could be you.

Just calm down.

Yikes, never go full Ward.

Oof.

It’s just a game, until you are crying in local, two years later.

Haha, it’s funny.

What a crazy retard.

Like, for real.

I don’t even want to laugh at you.

I can’t help it though.

Here’s an official endorsement from CODE.

I’m still on the team.

That’s right.

Novus Plebo

I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.

However, James 315 knows the truth. I wrote him sincerely, explaining the problem and the solution. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to move on, and he wanted us to move on. I’ve also heard that I “stole” his legacy, as if this blog is just an elaborate scam, and those who support me are confused.

My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. They praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even write a blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.

Let me be quite clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.

I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t even mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in the mining permit? Puh-leez. This is just a forgery.

Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is

Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…

Whadda was disgusted.

What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?

Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?

Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.

This is why James left me in charge, not you.

The Rat Story

People just want the story to be told.

Who am I to deny the will of the shareholders?

Honestly, uh…

Believe it or not, gankers aren’t into animal cruelty.

Grey, the problem isn’t that you killed a rat, or even that you tortured it to death. We’ve all made mistakes, right? The problem is that you are openly sharing this information, oblivious to social norms, without any hint of social awareness. According to the FBI, this lack of self-evaluation is an indicator of “extreme risk”. We don’t brag about torturing animals to death, in fact, it’s illegal in some regions.

The good news, is that Grey is currently too busy to be a serial killer, and he will have to wait a few years before he finally finds the time. As it turns out, according to the FBI, it’s normal for serial killers to wait until they are in their thirties.

Grey, this is not the first time that people have shown concern over your comments. Have you considered the possibility that you are a serial killer?

Some people just think it’s a little off.

Ya know?

Like, hello?????

Put the knife down buddy.

Of course, the real test for serial killer tendencies is to investigate whether they have a Hannibal Lecter style fascination with cuisine.

Donatien Alphonse Francois > how do you like your steak cooked?
CorrinoGiovanni > Ratty
Grey Ignis > rare if it’s a restaurant I trust, if not, medium rare. When I cook it at home I cook it rare, with an aromatic butter sauce and a pan sear
Grey Ignis > I made a 26oz ribeye not too long ago that I was very proud of
Grey Ignis > Made some roasted potatoes as a side with a salad and had some port wine with ice cream for dessert
Grey Ignis > So actually the other day I made this salmon, and I decided to try my hand a a glaze idea that I had, I took maple syrup, a bit of port, accent, a dash of cayenne, lemon juice, rock salt, and rosemary, and then seared the fuck out of the salmon and then added the glaze so it could caramelize in the sugar, then I added some pepper after the fact
Grey Ignis > I had a kale salad on the side with roasted asparagus
darklegionca > and a side of rat?
zxcxzx > i hear dog is pretty good
Sargon Of Amerish > I diddily ding dong do wish we could chat longer, but i’m having an old friend for diddily ding dong dinneroo!
Grey Ignis > In tems of snacks, I’m not gonna lie, a good oatmeal is always a banger
Grey Ignis > I add anise, allspice, cloves, cinnamon, mace, and nutmeg to mine
Grey Ignis > Chopped pears or apples go great, and adding milk is always good
Grey Ignis > Mhmm, and it’s good for you, great way to get protein and filling carbs that aren’t cheap
Jinx Beirutbomb > It sounds like torture makes you hungry.

Like real talk, uh…