Why were those miners ganked?

Can you guess why?

Oh, that’s why…

I need dekss to drool on.

No miner left behind!

I just want you to understand.

Why did you get gunjked?

Well, because you are a miner.

Nobody likes a dirty shovel.

Every pleb must face the consequence of incompetence.

Meanwhile, we have a gay old time in Why Was I Ganked?


Back to Basic

At first, Nabjorn didn’t learn his lesson.

However, he finally understands.

Nabjorn Amatin > I am quiting this game I forgot it was full of assholes congrats though on not being able to make it in the real world
Captain BeerMonster > calm down miner
Nabjorn Amatin > I have quit its ok, the gank just remined me that assholes exsist in this game as they no longer have a refuge anywhere else

Nabjorn is a born quitter.

When will CCP crack down on PvP antics?

Gankas hide behind CONCORD…

So Nabjorn vowed to go full basic.

Nobody should have fun in a video game.

Never go full basic!

Gangers just want dank exhumer scraps.

Nabjorn became a basic civilian.

He wants everyone to know!

Good luck Nabjorn!

Meanwhile, in J-space…

Neurotica 1, Part 8

Listening to: Happy Miner Payout

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 decided to buy CCP.

I play EvE Online, and I know something about business.

Isk doubling is illegal in real-life. lololololol…

Here are some some red flags. LoL!

So let me be clear.

Never go full Fighter Jets Guitarsolo.

Erotica just wanted me to invest.

I would tell a grand jury, something seemed wrong.

This concern only grew.

Erotica sold 60 ‘units’, ‘valued’ at $30’000, for $5000.

Does that sound legal?

Would you invest?

He was selling NFTs that never even existed.

Real-life investments are not guaranteed.

This was textbook securities fraud. Ironic. Ha!

Erotica knew exactly what he was doing.

He was inspired by real life scams.

This was getting weird.

Really weird.

With his $5000, Erotica went all in on cryptogirls.

Then he began blocking all the doubters.

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 7

Listening to: Dark Techno 2018

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.

Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.

He decided to get rich, quick.

PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.

As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.

His ‘friends’ were concerned.

Surprisingly, the scam worked.

Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.

This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.

As a woman, I often feel uppity.

Am I a space Karen…

…or a reasonably concerned citizen?

I decided not to commit securities fraud.

No thank you!

Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.

If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.

To be continued…

Highsec Recruiting, Part 3

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.

This would require preparation.

Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.

In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.

Our relationship began to blossom.

However, I don’t like impudence.

Mason is a real miner.

Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!

Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.

Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.

It was time to turn over a leaf…

My expectations were clear.

I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.

So Mason sent his life savings.

Now I have Mason right where I want him.

He hates being told what to do…

…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.

Everyone was impressed!

It was the start of a new era.

Mason is my miner.

I sure hope we get along!

What a good boy.

He deserves me!


Highsec Recruiting, Part 2

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

The recruiting channel was abuzz.

I was happy to share the good news.

Bussy gankers are IN.

Eventually, a newbro contacted me.

This miner didn’t like gankers.

He wanted me to understand.

So we had a chat…

This went well.

We soon reached an understanding.

I will fight for Safety.

No miner left behind!

To be continued…


Miners are crazy people…

…in real life!


Highsec Recruiting

Recently, Goose considered a return to Highsec.

There’s a lot of geese!

Recruiting channels buzzed with the good news.

Banned for life, GM Goose is back!

So I agreed to an interview.

Oh, there’s that deadbeat Luci Gotti.

He’s worthless.

Ok, but what about Goose?

They accused him of multiboxing.

That’s a real thing!

As proof, Dr Tron cited Reddit.


Hucker Carlson investigates…

I spoke truth to the powerless.

However, I was also hungry.

Meanwhile, Dr Tron decided to pick a fight.

We will hear more from Mason, soon!

Meanwhile, Dr Tron became desperate for attention.

Miners sure are silly!

To be continued…

Welcome to EZ Street

Jarrod took a wrong turn in Uedama.

So I explained the situation.

Eventually, he agreed to calm down.

In return, I offered SRP.

I don’t like bossy men.

His attitude needed adjustment.

Jarrod just wanted stuff from me.

So I heard his plea…

…and introduced him to a friend.

I’ve done this before, several times.

It’s a typo, 30 + 10 = 40!

100 + 30 + 10 + 30 = 170!

I’m good at math.

This is EZ!

Will the miners ever learn?

I doubt it…

The Greatest Groon

Today, and for all time, I am the Greatest Groon.

As the final boss of Highsec, I have always known my fate.

I am destined for success.

Let’s stroll through memory lane…

… remembering my predecessors.

Tenaj (March 2003-June 2003)

L0rd Zap (June 2003-March 2006)

Princess Suicide (March 2006 – July 2006)

The Sheik (July 2006 – March 2007)

karttoon was right (March 2007 – October 2008)

Jerry Rin (October 2008 – October 2009)

Princess Helicity (October 2009 – October 2011)

The Mittani (October 2011 – December 2012)

kalila meng (December 2012 – January 2013)

Khoda Khan (January 2013 – March 2013)

BLACK SKULL (March 2014 – October 2014)

Aria Stane (October 2014 – November 2014)

Zuzu (November 2014 – December 2014)

George (December 2014 – May 2015)

loyal (May 2015 – March 2016)

Siegfriend Cohenberg (March 2016 – April 2016)

Do you remember the mad minute?

Tweeps (April 19, 2016)

Kulorndo (April 19, 2016 – April 22, 2016)

Kalned givieth…

James 315 (April 2016 – June 2020)

….Korndul taketh.

Dresden Rubble Gnome (June 2020 – July 2020)

Princess Aiko (July 2020 – forever and ever)

Congrats to every participant! Each of you will receive a trophy, commemorating your activity (or lack thereof). The following chart shows each winner’s relative significance.


Here are some lesser alliances…

Is your alliance trash?