Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
What is Seagulling?
Sargon investigates…
…looks like fun for everyone!
It’s a good way to earn isk.
Streamer M0rty was having a blast.
EvE Online teaches basic maths!
M0rty just wanted the seagull to leave.
However, even seagulls need isk.
M0rty didn’t want to play with Sargon.
Apparently seagulling is not an exploit?
Cheerzah!
Jump freighters disgust me.
They deserve Safety.
EVOLA is going out of business.
It’s the end of an era.
Oh well!
The End
Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.
He wasn’t joking.
Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.
Oh boy, a discount Gila!
He sold everything he had…
…to buy a Moa.
Oh, it’s a free Moa…
With premium insurance!
So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.
GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/
Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.
So he employed null security comms.
This went as well as one might expect.
Puppers even tried a wormhole!
His friends were happy to help.
Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.
When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.
The Goons were using an isk tracker.
So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.
Eventually, Puppers contacted me.
He seemed confused.
The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.
Apparently, his new home was in Thera?
Who told him to go there?
Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.
Another happy ending!
Cheerzah!
Why were those miners ganked?
Can you guess why?
Oh, that’s why…
I need dekss to drool on.
No miner left behind!
I just want you to understand.
Why did you get gunjked?
Well, because you are a miner.
Nobody likes a dirty shovel.
Every pleb must face the consequence of incompetence.
Meanwhile, we have a gay old time in Why Was I Ganked?
Cheerzah!
At first, Nabjorn didn’t learn his lesson.
However, he finally understands.
Nabjorn Amatin > I am quiting this game I forgot it was full of assholes congrats though on not being able to make it in the real world
Captain BeerMonster > calm down miner
Nabjorn Amatin > I have quit its ok, the gank just remined me that assholes exsist in this game as they no longer have a refuge anywhere else
Nabjorn is a born quitter.
When will CCP crack down on PvP antics?
Gankas hide behind CONCORD…
So Nabjorn vowed to go full basic.
Nobody should have fun in a video game.
Never go full basic!
Gangers just want dank exhumer scraps.
Nabjorn became a basic civilian.
He wants everyone to know!
Good luck Nabjorn!
Meanwhile, in J-space…
Listening to: Happy Miner Payout
Previously, Erotica 1 decided to buy CCP.
I play EvE Online, and I know something about business.
Isk doubling is illegal in real-life. lololololol…
Here are some some red flags. LoL!
So let me be clear.
Never go full Fighter Jets Guitarsolo.
Erotica just wanted me to invest.
I would tell a grand jury, something seemed wrong.
This concern only grew.
Erotica sold 60 ‘units’, ‘valued’ at $30’000, for $5000.
Does that sound legal?
Would you invest?
He was selling NFTs that never even existed.
Real-life investments are not guaranteed.
This was textbook securities fraud. Ironic. Ha!
Erotica knew exactly what he was doing.
He was inspired by real life scams.
This was getting weird.
Really weird.
With his $5000, Erotica went all in on cryptogirls.
Then he began blocking all the doubters.
To be continued…
Listening to: Dark Techno 2018
Previously, Erotica 1 was permabanned.
Afterward, he developed a cunning plan.
He decided to get rich, quick.
PLOT SUMMARY: Our anti-hero, Erotica 1, permabanned from EvE Online, wipes the sweat from his brow. “Eureka!”, he exclaims whilst committing securities fraud, selling fake cryptocurrency NFTs in order to purchase CCP and unban himself. This would prove to the courts, that Erotica 1 is a successful businessman. Along the way, he planned to make a trillion isk, through a legitimate galactic bank.
As an initial first step, he exploited his own IRL infant daughter, and tried to recruit a few EvE players.
His ‘friends’ were concerned.
Surprisingly, the scam worked.
Erotica (aka Justin) sold an NFT buy-in to his first mark, rounding $5000 up to $30000, with the expectation of future profits.
This is a story of sex, crypto, federal law, and crazy.
As a woman, I often feel uppity.
Am I a space Karen…
…or a reasonably concerned citizen?
I decided not to commit securities fraud.
No thank you!
Buckle in, it’s gonna be a WILD RIDE.
If subpoenaed, I will testify in court.
To be continued…
Ludwik had a decision to make.
He decided to be a miner.
Nobody likes a liar.
Oh well!
Meanwhile, Grous Aideron was insolent.
This went well.
What a whinebear.
Atlote also had a temper tantrum.
Just another goblok…
Will the miners ever calm down?
Likely not!
Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.
This would require preparation.
Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.
In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.
Our relationship began to blossom.
However, I don’t like impudence.
Mason is a real miner.
Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!
Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.
Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.
It was time to turn over a leaf…
My expectations were clear.
I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.
So Mason sent his life savings.
Now I have Mason right where I want him.
He hates being told what to do…
…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.
Everyone was impressed!
It was the start of a new era.
Mason is my miner.
I sure hope we get along!
What a good boy.
He deserves me!
Cheerzah!
The recruiting channel was abuzz.
I was happy to share the good news.
Bussy gankers are IN.
Eventually, a newbro contacted me.
This miner didn’t like gankers.
He wanted me to understand.
So we had a chat…
This went well.
We soon reached an understanding.
I will fight for Safety.
No miner left behind!
To be continued…
***BONUS CONTENT***
Miners are crazy people…
…in real life!
Cheerzah!
