The Anti-Code

As we travel through time, deeper into the Jamespocalypse, we marvel at how things have changed. Just recently, we learned how the once mighty CODE. alliance was infiltrated by miners and antigankers. This came as no surprise, since James 315 is dead, and unable to govern his own alliance.

At first glance, Alani Prinz appears to be an incompetent ganker.

Code Genesis certainly looks legit, and it follows roleplay protocol, with an obligatory lucky shamrock and an abundance of stars.

However, Genesis harbors a dark secret.

This is a front for Highsec miners, masquerading as CODE. agents!

Alani Prinz hastily summoned her inner antiganker.

A true antiganker, with 0 damage on an empty pod!

Like most carebears, Alani suffers from paranoid delusions.

She fears those who enforce the CODE.

Alani knows she is not a legitimate agent.

She is just another goofus.

SMDH

What Happened?

Why, hello there, dear reader.

Once upon a time, the CODE. alliance was a mighty alliance.

One day, James 315 docked up, AFK forever.

The final challenge to his legacy was posed by gankbear roleplayers, who tried to convince everyone to leave the alliance. They called themselves CODE BLUE, and they rallied around has beens, never weres, and never will bees. Their leader is a nobody, who helped place more than a dozen killmails on the CODE. killboard, before quitting and vowing to never rejoin (because this would interfere with his Mussolini inspired plan, to establish a miner axis centered upon Dodixie Poinen).

[ 2017.03.24 21:55:30 ]
Hrothgar Nilsson > my great-grandfather is pure italian ancestry. Benito was his name.

Chemical brother > A lot of people in italy love Benito
Hrothgar Nilsson > Yes, because when there is a crisis, people often look to dictators to provide all the solutions. The New Order is people power, united behind the vision of James 315. James 315 is doing what Mussolini should have done.
Chemical brother > Italian history is very complicated…
Hrothgar Nilsson > The world needs to pay more attention to the history of Italy. Italy has been misjudged, misperceived, and had its character assassinated… So, I say, Viva Italia, and Via James 315 and the New Order!
Alt 00 > Kill: Lexxos (Mackinaw)

Hey retard, James 315 doesn’t like incel Wehraboo fascisti!

When Hrothgar heard James was retiring, he didn’t wait 48 hours. The rest of us were trying to keep the alliance running, and planning a nice funeral, but Hrothgar instantly created his own rival alliance. When the New Order was at its weakest and most vulnerable, Hrothgarlini tried to split the community. The shameless copycat even plagiarized the ticker JAMES. Some of us cared about the New Order, and we were disgusted. I offered Hrothgar ONE BILLION isk, if he would disband his fraudulent alliance, and rejoin the CODE. George went further, offering TEN BILLION isk. Hrothgar refused!

Like most gankbears, he doesn’t want to talk about it.

Nowadays, he only speaks through a beta orbiter.

“I’m loyal to James Hrothtard, GRRR CODE.” members include the guy who conspired to ban the entire CODE. alliance from the minerbumping channel (and then quit, only to return, and then quit again, and then return, and then quit again), and the guy who sent hundreds of agents to eternal damnation.

If he were still alive, James would be alarmed to know these desperate traders have united. Meanwhile, they have all begun crawling inside the ruins, after abandoning the CODE. years ago. Back in the day, some of them declared war on James, but now they sleep with his corpse! What are they doing? Actual avowed antigankers, living inside the tomb, and furiously masturbating perverting his legacy.

Ward vowed to destroy me, and James 315.

Imagine, antigankers hiding inside the CODE. alliance.

When James died, he knew they would try this. Therefore, he sent a psychic message to the oracle, Talas Dir, who left a sign for all time. The prophecy of Talas proves that Aiko Danuja was chosen by the Gods. Exactly one month before the Jamespocalypse, Talas foretold that James would vanish, and be replaced by Aiko.

James always understood the importance of clear, concise, communication.

In May 2020, only a dozen people knew that James intended to retire, abdicating to his unemployed kickboxing ex-girlfriend.

Salty boomers who weren’t even in the CODE. alliance, can probably understand that they were never part of the inner circle, and that is probably why James didn’t bother to tell them about his plans for the future.

It is Aiko, whom destiny favours, as the greatest ganker in galactic history.

It is Aiko, whom James recognized, as championettess of Halaima.

All Glory to the Ice BWitchPrincess!

 

Fan Fest, Part 2

Previously, in Iceland, CCP faced tough questions.

One thing became clear, it is time for an Aiko statue.

This is an undeniable reality.

It’s what the galaxy needs.

Meanwhile, CCP Rattati defined “new player”.

Whiteknights claim ganking is “griefing”, because new players need protection, so they can learn basic game mechanics. These carebears erroneously believe in a regional skill gradient (from Highsec, to lowsec, to nullsec). However, as Rattati stated, “You are not a new player, [just because you are] in Highsec.” According to CCP, players cease to be ‘new’ when they reach 30 days, or voluntarily leave the New Player Experience. Highsec is not the tutorial, and it is not “griefing” to engage Naval Academy graduates.

Rattati noted that CCP wasted “considerable time and resources” investigating carebear allegations. While griefers do disrupt the tutorial, gankers don’t. CCP determined that gankers and griefers are two separate groups, and ganking is explicitly allowed. Isanamo is not a mining tutorial, nor is Uedama a hauling tutorial. These are elite PvP zones, and Rattati emphasized that ganking is “fair” gameplay.

COOL FACT: When we changed our alliance name, we ensured that autist crybots would get confused. If you still think James 315 is griefing miners, then you obviously aren’t paying attention. Fortunately, CCP is not siding with antigankers, and Rattati concluded (to thunderous applause), “Gankers, you’re SAFE.” 

If antigankers care about noobs, why are they defending nullsec alts?

FAN FEST

We are having fun in rainy Iceland.

Zaenis Desef ensured everyone has a permit.

Meanwhile, CCP is bad at sales.

Google Spreadsheets is free?

CCP is gonna polish the asteroids (again), in a game with no-graphics.

Outerspace is truly beautiful, so savor the TiDi!

Anyways, I got some nice shoutouts on Twitch.

I’m a big deal in a video game, in real life!

The most memorable moment was when some guy said…

…my alliance has crowdfunded, awesome, alcoholics.

That’s right!

Finally, CCP made the BIG announcement.

Relaxing Aslan

CCP buffed Mackinaws…

So Wizard AslanMiner doesn’t need fittings.

Like an adult, he accepted personal responsibility.

He is a well adjusted (and mostly peacefull) young man.

He wasn’t some crybaby, sputtering excuses and vague threats.

Wizard saw a silver lining, and an opportunity for PROFIT.

He was reasonable, and eager to cooperate.

Wizard urged me to rethink my life choices.

Like all miners, he is a miner.

Mining is relaxing!

N-word Miners

Some Ventures need to die.

They aren’t new players.

They are just toxic Highsec carebears.

I know what to do.

Just kill them all.

No justice? No peace!

Whose belts? Our belts!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #240

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #239

Oh my…

Well!

all you understand grab fool play bitch i didn’t touch you what sticks fall off assholes let play norms go other fuck though you are cowards you current retras and orcs uncut and can clap but before the norms of the pvpeshniki suck

In Highsec, freighters are free!

LOKAsmodeus lost a capsule…

Sargon has been selling station permits.

Success!

Also, I’m super cute!

My blog is the best.

Cheers!

DIE IDIOT

 

Quadra Loser

Stargate- Sivala is a magical portal.

Champions of EvE Online are found here.

You can also find permafailures, in real life.

Quadra Frost is super obsessed with me.

Since he plays EvE in real life, he is obsessed in real life.

He roleplays as a CONCORD bot, fighting the griefer guild.

What a loser, in real life!

Triggered…

He’s gonna get me.

Thumbs up!

Quadra respects me, and is desperate for my respect.

Sometimes, you just gotta be honest with people.

What a looooooser (in real life)!

Like every miner, Quadra has a secret mystery main.

He’s so smart…

I just can’t help it.

I drive men crazy.

Get a life, you loser!

Haha, omg.

SMDH.

Do you think Quadra Frost is a retarded IRL loser?

Let me know in the comments!

The Battle for Aikoux

Julian Snelders loves Facebook.

He also loves poorly formatted screenshots.

I finally figured out what he is yapping about.

These miners are crying…

…in real-life, with their real names.

Facebook is a real salt mine.

Is it true? Does Barnes only kill defenceless ships?

In fact, he hunts combat cruisers, with a smaller destroyer. He does it in Highsec, where he must win within seconds, because his ship will be automatically destroyed by NPCs. He does it alone, and he is victorious. That’s elite PvP.

However, miners are obsessed with isk/hr calculations.

Kristian threw down the gauntlet. Could Highsec gankers survive, without CONCORD protection? What do you think? Let me know in the comments!

To be continued…

Beepbeep, I’m a Jeep

Hello, dear reader.

I’m sure you’ve all been wondering.

How did I become so awesome and invincible?

Unfortunately, I have terrible news.

James 315 died, and that is so sad.

Loyal CODE. agents are docked up, AFK forever. That’s what Daddy wanted, to have gankers lined up in the mausoleum, entombed with his corpse.

As miners learn in crab school, whilst Ventures nibble the toes of Mike Azariah, James 315 was a godly man who just wanted carebears to maximize their isk/hr. When bots began driving down the price of Veldspar, he started an alliance to fight back. Furthermore, to prevent anarchy, he forced the rabblemongers of Hulkageddon and Jihadswarm to honor the holy permit. James would often pilot a magical Bowhead full of tanky Procurers, handing them out to all the good little miners. Alas, in the darkness, an evil lurked. A nasty little b witch conspired to poison James, and steal the CODE. for herself, and she formed an alliance with lowsec gankers… and other gankers.

I did do it, and I’m proud of myself.

Grrr hat Aiko, hat hat hat.

So now you know the TRUE true.

I can’t deny it any longer.

Yes, it is me, Princess Butter Cupcake.

I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of EvE Online.

Bee well!