Hey there.
Good times for all.
Whatever you call it, we call it a holiday.
Congrats, you earned it.
Cheerzah!
Happy Aikomas
Author: Princess Aiko
December 24
Welcome to EvE Online
It’s not easy being a miner.
Everyone wants to play tough.
Not every victory comes with a killmail.
Most of them do!
What a game.
Cheerzah!
Glenduil the Slow
Glenduil is a SAFE miner.
CCP gave him a carebear buff, and he feels like a boss.
He put on max shields, and removed the mining gear.
Cool fit bro.
In EvE Online, mining barges have more hitpoints than warships.
Glenduil was excited to earn 1-2 cents an hour.
One day, he met some friendly gankers!
They declined to gank his max tank bait.
Gelnduil is nearly invincible in his Highsec poverty fit.
Let’s tune in to local chat.
Ganker spy Learza congratulated Glenduil on his minimal yield.
Nah, it’s fine bro, just mine like that.
Glenduil was flummoxed.
His minimum yield zero product fit is encouraged.
Glenduil won a few pennies for his time and effort.
Carebears can survive indefinitely in an 0.8.
I hope Glenduil has fun!
He sure isn’t getting rich.
=BREAKING NEWS=
ArchyZavr Sells A Mining Permit
We’ve met Archy before.
Archy was the guy who funded Aikotown.
After swiping his credit card, Archy got bored.
He recycled his Jita trade alt, into a ganking alt.
PvP, not wealth accumulation, is the real game.
Isk can buy ships, but it can’t buy fun!
That’s right.
Abduleljudiopalestino tried to scam Archy.
We gave Abdul some legal advice.
However, he immediately tried another poverty scam.
Sometimes, you have to start small.
…then you can get the rest.
Another satisfied customer.
I was ready to make delivery.
He never did complete his delivery payments.
It was a real learning experience.
I wish him all the best in EvE Online.
=PLOT TWIST=
Abduleljudiopalestino > scammers veteran im fucking noob
Abdul is not a new player, he’s just a dumb vet.
Newbro Archy outplayed a guy with years of experience.
Nice job Archy.
Miner Mewling
Miners have a lot to say.
They have such fantasies.
What will a miner say next?
Well then…
I wish them all the best.
Cheerzah!
The Princess and the Pleb
It’s a frequently asked question.
I’m fine, thanks.
Miners don’t value their time.
They aren’t even real miners.
I’m a princess.
I know what miners need.
Afterward, I allow them to grieve.
This is their chance to reflect.
What a nice chat.
Bye-e!
Recruiting Newbros
That’s right.
Xris was lost and alone.
Where would he go?
Xris was a real Highsec miner.
One day, Jesus rescued him.
Xris was born again.
All he needed was faith.
Xris finally found his home.
=BEHIND THE SCENES=
That’s right.
Christmas Deathwish
Listening to: Precious
EvE Online has some interesting characters.
Sometimes they go too far.
This is the story of Longtooth the Miner.
Hey there.
Normally, carebears use a Vexor.
He found me attractive.
Never trust a man who mines in Highsec.
He actually was a new player.
Barely eighteen years old…
Just another antisocial sociopathic CEO in EvE Online.
We soon learned a shocking truth…
This guy is a total pleb.
Just then, Good Girl Kara tried to stick up for me.
Oof!
Just a typical Highsec miner.
At least he’s not mad.
He’s just… not well in the head.
What a guy.
Cheerzah!
Boromir and Faramir
Faramir had a problem.
His buddy Boromir was dead.
Now Faramir was under arrest.
He owed a lot of isk.
He even tried to scam Jesus!
Too little, too late.
Mine around and find out.
Oh well.
Another happy ending in EvE Online.
Them Again
Miners often encounter gankers.
They especially notice me.
I am in the zone.
I try to give them what they want.
They like that.
Sometimes, they get a little upset.
They are frustrated with their lack of progress.
That’s fine with me.
I’m a princess.
Cya!
