Miners of Misneden, Part 2

Previously, in Aiko Danuja Space, Emille Droffer refused to pay rent.

Alt 00 decided to investigate the local community.

One miner won a free spelling lesson.

However, they did not seem to understand.

Alt found them insufferable.

An example was made of ‘not a miner’ Nelforce.

He is a liar and a criminal.

Furthermore, he is dumber than Alt anticipated.

Nelforce was clearly unwell.

Who would keep him safe?

To be continued…

Z Nation

Previously, in the best EvE Online blog…

pravednik III paid 300 million isk to keep zvezda solnze safe.

I found this offer enticing and intriguing.

When I discovered zvezda mining, all alone, in a highly dangerous security system – I knew what to do. I gave her a gentle nudge, encouraging her to find a safer space to AFK bot farm. Safety first, always!

Wait, what?

Uh oh…

Here comes the Z!

xaxa western monkeys)))

Dear Diary,

Dear Diary,

Being the #1 PvP capsuleer in the galaxy, and the most beautiful woman, and the best blogger, and the greatest alliance leader, and the most wonderfulest Aiko ever imaginable, it sure is exhausting. Today, I woke up to more disturbing news.

CCP wants to raise rent by 33%!

This is really upsetting the miners.

I just want them to die.

They can pay more to cry more.

I just need 166% more isk to kill double ehp miners.

Every miner is now 33% more likely to quit the game.

I’m gonna win, even if CCP goes bankrupt.

Before you go, send me all your money!

Thanks!

Nickels and Dimes of FORTUNE and GLORY

Miners are always surprised.

Who could have anticipated this?

Where did all the money go?

Fortunately, Safety agents are here to help.

We offer a comprehensive ship replacement programme.

I dunno about CCP, but I’m doing well in EvE Online.

Writing Jesus

Imitation is the most sincere flattery.

I’m cool, and so are my alts.

I’m the best ganker, and Australian Jesus is the best scout.

Everybody loves me and mine.

Even Russians want to be friends.

I dunno if it’s gonna work out.

There’s only one solution.

They need Jesus to find them.

They want it bad.

What happens next?

Miners gonna get SAFED!

Dest Royer got Destroyed

Every miner has a background story.

Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.

He needed to express his feelings.

Sometimes, therapists need therapy.

With a name like Dest Royer…

…you know he is a mining machine.

Why else would loosers bully him?

The conversation became increasingly academic.

Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.

Dest is one mad therapist.

He is a trained psychoassassin.

Dest Royer took careful notes.

It was a revealing conversation.

Good Morning!

Good morning, EvE Online!

Just another glorious day, praising me.

Number one PvP champion of all time = me.

Time to check the forums.

Woah there, let’s check my mail.

Heyyyy!

Sheesh, calm down roleplayer.

Haha, ok.

Actually, it works better than that.

Show me the money!

Ok, time to undock!

Winning

I’m the best.

Sexist antigankers will never catch me.

They are too busy mansplaining EvE Online.

EvE doesn’t need autistic high-functioning losers lossers.

I’m the witch your mother warned you about.

You might think otherwise.

I don’t care.

I won’t even remember you.

Have fun watching me fuck miners.

You love it.

Cheers!

Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!