Seek Help

Play EvE Online responsibly.

Experienced agents are standing by.

We want to help you.

However, this is just a game.

Help is available.

I’d recommend Broadcast for Reps, but the last thing you need is ‘help’ from whiteknight carebear virtue signalers.

You are not a victim. You are an addict.

Seek help, in real life.

Listen to me very carefully.

Personal responsibility starts with YOU.

Empower yourself.

I recommend therapy.


Ya know?

lorrenzo nub

Newbro lorrenzo identified as a STeeLGamer.

However, one gank pushed him over the edge.

The man of STeeL became a pillar of salt.

lorrenzo nub > fuck off assholes this is my first day back
lorrenzo nub > 10 years away and your fucking assholes
1 Of Several > calm down, miner
lorrenzo nub > your botting and now reported

Like most miners, lorrenzo is an innocent angel, who needs a safe space in Highsec (so he can enjoy AFK mining).

lorrenzo nub > fuck you , cant you dickheads just leave ppl alon you cunts cant just leave me alone , already having a bad enough time irl cunts like you take my only peace and fuck it up
lorrenzo nub > your just a asshole who probably cant get laid in real life and has you mom hold a poop bucket under them so you dont have to get up from this game no life loser who can only get back at real life on a game
lorrenzo nub > did your daddy beat you and thats why you have to lash out but ofc your to big of a loser to go to null sec to much of a pussy to go fight actual ppl , instead just gate camp high sec did your mom not love you , or hug you ?or did she just leave you as a baby?

lorrenzo nub > big little girl you are did you want the number of a good counceler ? your dad made good use of you ?or was it your brother ?
lorrenzo nub > your the one crying than have to come on here and think your tough , like your dad when he beat you as child feel better now you killed a defenceless players ship
lorrenzo nub > cant hack it in null fighting ppl who can fight back did you get bullied at school too ? you going to go cry into your pillow when you log off ?

Was lorrenzo upset?

lorrenzo nub > no more upset than you where when your moms boyfriend beat you im not the one who feels good about sitting in high sec praying on defencless ppl and cant even one on one ppl , hell i bet my ship could of took you out one on one

Eventually, the conversation ended.

1 Of Several > Go complain in other chats!
lorrenzo nub > your alliance will be disolved in 45 days

lorrenzo began crying in other chats.

Sargon encouraged him to try an easier game.

Instead, lorrenzo vowed revenge.

His next step was to whine in Rookie Help.

Alas, CCP griefed him mercilessly.

Next, he hired a shadow to follow Sargon.

Sargon soon ditched the incompetent spy.


Easy Money

Kezzy saw a good deal, but wanted a better price.

Eventually, they reached an agreement.

Easy money.

What happened?

Actually, Kezzy didn’t want that isk anyway.

Trillionaires don’t care about billions.

Who wastes time on a petty eleven bill?

Kezzy is an elite Jita spammer.

Eva is just a small time nobody.

Eva really fucked up.

Kezzy is so rich, he doesn’t care about isk.

He’s not even salty.

:), :D, :p, 😉 proves he is high on copium.

ag Dummydumreee


I always think, ya know, I got other things I’d rather do than play EvE Online, or write about it… but then I log in, and encounter the incredible stupidity of Idiocracy Online.

Previously, I discussed how incompetent antigankers continually fail, whilst roleplaying success. It’s never clear what they accomplished, but they sure as hell didn’t stop any gankers.

Recently, we spotted Highsec Plebtards camping Juunigashi with Stormbringers, desperately hoping to sperg lightning bolts in a windowlicking attempt to save a freighter.

The obvious solution was to warp into Uedama (with the dummydumdums following like Keystone Cops), as we then warped into Ikao, and back into Juunigashi to kill the target.

I could not conceal my contempt.

I honestly question the time I’ve invested in EvE, but at least I’m going down in history as the all time greatest. However, how does one justify investing even more time (years more than me), and yet failing to come close? It’s like, when you are slamming homeruns out of the stadium, how can you possibly have respect for a permapleb who is drunk on antifreeze and all-you-can-eat chilidogs?

Running a bunch of alts is bad enough, but imagine running a bunch of alts and failing to accomplish anything!

Apparently, some people refer to their alts as “we”.

The antiganker posed an interesting question…

I once heard of a turboautist, who wasted years following Jason, Joe/Bob, Aussie, brainlet, Benji, loyal/Trump, etc.

This goblok would always believe he saved a freighter, proudly proclaiming, “Freighter saaaaaaaaved.”

I simply cannot stand a stupid man.

However, did “we” save the freighter?

Apparently not!

Suddenly, the loser didn’t want to gloat.

Eventually, he showed the true nature of the whiteknight.

I believe him.

I’m cute!

Quitting EvE, Goodbye

Miners ask silly questions.

What do you think?

V3rbal also wanted his ship back.

He’s just a 2009 newbro.

With years of experience, he tried a little trick.

It’s the ol “gimme my ship back” scam.

We did our best to help him out.

It’s always a pleasure to help newbros.

Another happy customer.

I hope he enjoyed his space adventure.

Game Over.