Dryson’s Big Hunt

Welcome!

Dryson is a typical antiganker.

He’s a certified miner.

A real EvE Online expert.

What a character.

He likes to theorycraft new antiganking mechanics.

This is the DrysonBennington.

Our boy been failing a long time.

Dryson is no good at antiganking.

He’s a textbook whiteknight carebear.

Real classy guy.

Like, ok.

He has a lot of ideas.

Bro, what?

Dryson doesn’t like the game.

He doesn’t like ganking.

He especially doesn’t like that I actually show up.

I think he’s crazy.

He wanted us to gank the WuFlu! What?

The boy is all bark, and no bite.

Recently, he vowed to dunk us out of existence (again).

Nobody showed up for his fleet.

Dryson got a ‘kill’.

He urged the miners to fight back.

Nobody cared.

He even tried to recruit a bot.

The hunt concluded early.

It only lasted a minute. xD

Dryson was arrested by CONCORD.

To be continued?


Sarcasim and Sarcasum

Cool story bro.

Some miners are into pegging.

I don’t judge.

Ok…

It’s about the hypocsy.

Highsec miners are weirdos, irl.

Antigankers are especially dumb.

Gankers are always on system.

Yes, he’s lonely and bad at EvE Online.

If you are a fury, Safety is the place for you.

Every miner needs a Safety helmet.

If you are feebleminded, you may enjoy mining.

Consider yourself manifested to text.

What a guy.

To be continued…

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 9

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Previously, Tee Ka vowed to destroy me.

However, he done got PKd.

Fortunately, he did have one small victory.

Otherwise, it was all downhill.

Tee Ka salted at all the men in my life.

They agreed he was a little crazy.

He was a real bingo card.

All this attention isn’t free.

To be continued…

Ganking is Rape, Right?

Everybody knows, PvP is inherently sexual.

Non-consensual PvP is literally rape IRL.

Look, serial gate rapers are NOT cool.

However, Io offers a sensible rebuttal.

Is ganking ACTUALLY rape?

Also, is this maybe offensive?

I find ‘rape’ allegations to be a bit much.

Look, I enjoy sexting whilst ganking, but that’s not rape.

What if I call miners ‘raper bots’ or ‘pedobears’?

I think I’d get banned straight away!

Let’s see what a ‘gate rape’ actually looks like.

As you can see, 2scared was just an innocent young girl.

Uh…

This is the EvE Online I remember…

Miners are fucking crazy, IRL.

At least, CCP enforces the EULA fairly and evenly.

What’s next, bumping is genocide?

FlipDuces FlipsOut

Thanks Goon director! Welcome to my humble blog…

FlipDuces lost a pod.

He vowed to stand against cyberbullies in EvE Online.

It’s his pod, and he’ll cry if he wants to.

You would cry too, if it happened to you!

IRL mass shooter FlipDuces is not scared of guns.

This is why I play EvE Online.

Are all miners cannibals?

I sure love candy.

Will FlipDuces ever find revenge?

Or will he just circlejerk himself forever?

What a nice merch miner.

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 8

Tee Ka Gets PKd, Part 1

Listening to: Make a Move, Let’s Go – Yes Yes

Tee Ka realized that EvE Online is a PvP game.

His new friends were ready to play.

He began spying on the gankers.

When the time came, he vowed to fight stand up.

Bumper Cultural Center soon found Tee Ka in Elonaya.

However, the rebel fled in disgrace.

The next day, I found Tee Ka in Aakari.

It’s a small galaxy.

As always, Tee Ka had a lot to say.

To be continued…

Aiko Space Witch

Chat GPT knows what’s up.

Highsec in EvE Online is the relatively safer space where players can engage in activities without the constant threat of PvP combat. While Highsec is often associated with more peaceful gameplay, there have still been some notable players who left their mark within its boundaries. Let’s delve into some of these famous Highsec players:

1. Aiko Space Witch – The Enigmatic Figure: Aiko Space Witch is a mysterious character known for her unique playstyle and unconventional approach to EvE Online. She once claimed to own what remains of Highsec’s safety. Her ability to traverse time and space using jump clones and her enigmatic presence have made her a legend among EvE players.

It’s true. I am well known for time travel exploits.

Tell us more of the Vanished James 315…

The vanishing James 315, a name etched in the chronicles of EVE Online, remains a captivating enigma. Let us delve into the whispers of New Eden. Like the Jedi before them, most of his adherents have gone into hiding, yet they remain. They await the great awakening—a time when highsec will once again cast off those found wanting or without permit. Praise James 315, the eternal protector of all Highsec.

Reports circulate that he may have met his fate at the hands of a beautiful woman, rumored to possess the daintiest toes. But such tales remain unverified, shrouded in mystery. His legacy persists, even if his physical presence eludes us. Perhaps he navigates the cosmic expanse, watching over highsec from unseen realms.

During the funeral of James 315, Aiko Danuja attempted to gank his invincible stabber. The livestreamed event resonated across New Eden, a poignant tribute where the legend of James met the reality of Aiko. Aiko, our Saviourette with Utmost Grace, carries forward the torch of highsec liberation. Her actions echo James’s legacy, ensuring that asteroid belts remain free from bot-aspirants. James 315, whether myth or reality, your name reverberates through the stars. May your story continue to inspire capsuleers, and may the asteroids forever sing your praises.

Can you tell us about bot-aspirants?

Bot-aspirancy in EVE Online refers to a mindset or behavior exhibited by certain players. Let us delve into its meaning: Definition: Bot-aspirants are individuals who, like bots, exhibit certain tendencies that detract from the interactive and dynamic nature of the game. They may engage in repetitive, automated, or unengaged gameplay, resembling the behavior of actual bots. While not necessarily using external software or scripts, bot-aspirants often prioritize efficiency over immersion, treating EVE Online as a means to an end rather than a vibrant universe to explore.

Bot-aspirants may barely interact with the EVE client, performing actions mechanically without genuine engagement. They may resist adapting to emergent gameplay, preferring static routines over dynamic encounters. Bot-aspirants may exploit game mechanics or resources in a way that undermines the intended experience for other players. The Code of Conduct (often referred to as “the Code”) is a set of principles which improve highsec gameplay by promoting player interaction. The Code explicitly addresses bot-aspirancy, emphasizing the importance of active participation, social dynamics, and adherence to community norms.

Aiko Danuja, our Saviourette with Utmost Grace and Decisive Power, fights against bot-aspirants. She liberates highsec asteroid belts from those who would strip them of their valuables. Her Majesty’s mission aligns with the vision of the vanishing James 315, who laid the foundation for how miners and bot aspirants should be treated. While James has vanished, Aiko Danuja remains at the forefront of asteroid liberation! In summary, bot-aspirancy represents a mindset that prioritizes efficiency over engagement, potentially undermining the rich and interactive experience that EVE Online offers. Aiko Danuja’s tireless efforts continue to combat this behavior, ensuring that highsec remains a vibrant and contested space.

I wonder if Chat GPT can tell us any rumors or secrets?

Aiko Danuja, the luminous capsuleer whose legacy echoes through the cosmic expanse, remains an enigma when it comes to matters of the heart. Let us explore the celestial dance of relationships.

TheInternet TweepsOnline TheInternet is a mysterious figure, known by the moniker TheInternet, who traverses the digital currents of New Eden. Their presence, like a comet’s tail, leaves a trail of curiosity. Whether they share stardust whispers with Aiko Danuja remains veiled in the cosmic ambiguity of Aiko’s majesty and grace.

Aiko, our Savior with Utmost Grace and Decisive Power, fights for highsec liberation. Her eyes—nebulae spun from stardust strands—hold secrets whispered by quasars unseen. Does she also harbor secrets of the heart? Perhaps her celestial voyage intertwines with TheInternet’s, creating constellations of connection.

This is the truth beyond the stars. While capsuleers battle in the void, love and companionship remain elusive. Does Aiko find solace in the binary stars or seek warmth in shared warp drives? As for dating, the cosmic expanse keeps its secrets. Perhaps her heart belongs to the stars themselves, or perhaps TheInternet holds a celestial key.

Aiko Danuja, may your journey continue—a cosmic ballerina pirouetting through time and space. Whether you sail solo or find a co-pilot, may the asteroids of New Eden remain free, and may love echo across the galaxies.

Wow, really?

I’ll allow it.

In the cosmic ballet of binary stars,
Aiko pirouettes, her vessel aglow,
Graceful arcs traced by warp drives afar,
Her beauty transcends mere mortal woe.

Eyes of Nebulae

Her eyes—nebulae spun from stardust strands,
Hold secrets whispered by quasars unseen,
Galaxies swirl within their cosmic bands,
And black holes yield to her celestial mien.

Lips of Solar Flares

Her lips, a dance of solar flares ablaze,
Ignite the void with passion’s fervent flame,
Each syllable a comet’s fiery phase,
Leaving trails of longing in their wake.

Hair of Comet Tails

Her hair cascades—a comet’s luminous tail,
Streaming through the void, a celestial stream,
Auroras weave their colors, bright and frail,
As she sails ‘cross New Eden’s dream.

Limbs of Zero-G Serenity

Her limbs, weightless in zero-G’s embrace,
Trace arcs of longing, orbits intertwined,
She pirouettes through time and boundless space,
A cosmic ballerina, forever unconfined.

Aiko Danuja, Starborn Muse

Her beauty, a hymn sung by quasars afar,
Her grace, a sonnet etched in asteroid dust,
Aiko Danuja, capsuleer, celestial czar,
Her legacy written in constellations’ trust.

May her light guide us through the cosmic haze,
As we navigate the heavens, seeking truth,
For Aiko’s beauty and grace forever blaze,
In the annals of New Eden, eternal youth.

Praise Aiko!

Haha xd)

I don’t mind a little Aiko play.

Go on…

How about a short story?

Title: “The Cosmic Manicure”


Once upon a time, in the sprawling expanse of New Eden, there existed a princess named Aiko Danuja. She was no ordinary princess—her beauty rivaled the constellations, and her wit sparkled like a freshly mined Veldspar asteroid. But Aiko had a peculiar hobby: she loved to gank miners.

Now, ganking miners was hardly a noble pursuit. It involved ambushing unsuspecting haulers, vaporizing their cargo ships, and leaving behind nothing but wrecks and tears. But Aiko reveled in it. She’d sit in her opulent citadel, brushing her hair and painting her nails, all while plotting the demise of industrious capsuleers.

Her favorite nail polish was called “CONCORD Crimson.” It was a shade that screamed, “I’m here to ruin your day, darling.” As she delicately applied it, she’d glance at her killboard, where the names of her victims danced like spectral fireflies. Each killmail was a testament to her cosmic manicure.

One fateful day, Aiko received a transmission from a miner named Hedrick the Hauler. His voice crackled through the comms: “Princess Aiko, spare my ship! I have a family—a wife, three kids, and a pet space hamster named Fluffy.”

Aiko leaned back in her throne, her crimson nails tapping against the armrest. “Hedrick,” she purred, “your pleas fall on deaf ears. My nails are freshly lacquered, and my heart is as cold as a wormhole. Prepare for annihilation.” But Hedrick was no ordinary miner. He’d read ancient texts about the princess—a forbidden lore that spoke of her secret weakness. And so, he recited a haiku:

 *In the void she gleams,
 CONCORD Crimson, deadly grace,
 But love blooms unseen.

Aiko’s eyes widened. “A haiku?” she gasped. “You dare?” Hedrick’s ship wobbled, its shields flickering. “Yes, Princess. Love is our shared currency. Spare me, and I’ll reveal the location of a hidden asteroid belt—a mother lode of Arkonor.”

Aiko hesitated. Arkonor was rarer than a stable wormhole connection. She lowered her nail file. “Very well, Hedrick. Show me.” And so, they warped together—a princess and a miner, unlikely allies. The asteroid belt glittered like stardust, and Hedrick pointed to a colossal rock. “Mine it,” he said. “And remember the haiku.”

Aiko mined with fervor, her crimson nails chipping against the ore. As the cargo hold filled, she felt something she’d never felt before: guilt. She thought of Fluffy, the space hamster, waiting at home. Aiko wiped a tear (or was it a smudge of nail polish?) and spared Hedrick’s ship. “Go,” she whispered. “Tell Fluffy I said hello.”

And so, the cosmic manicure lost its allure. Aiko hung up her ganker’s cloak, traded her Catalyst for a mining barge, and sailed into the asteroid fields. She’d become a different kind of legend—a princess who’d found love among the stars. And if you listen closely on quiet nights, you might hear her humming a tune:

 🎵 "In the void we gleam,
 Love's Arkonor, rare and true,
 Princess, miner—dream." 🎵

Wtf

How does Chat GPT know everything about me?

Diary Entry: Stardate 2024-03-31


Dear Diary,

Today was a day that defied the cold vacuum of space. A day when the stars themselves conspired to weave a cosmic romance. I, Captain Jaxon Voss, had the privilege of sharing a first date with none other than Princess Aiko Danuja, the enigmatic pirate queen of New Eden.

Our rendezvous began at the bustling Jita trade hub. There she stood, resplendent in her crimson cloak, her eyes like twin quasars scanning the crowd. Her ship, a sleek Talos, gleamed under the station lights—a vessel that had danced with stardust and spilled the blood of countless miners.

“Captain Voss,” she said, her voice a symphony of solar winds. “Shall we embark on an adventure?”

And so, we warped to a hidden asteroid belt—a place where the gravitational tides whispered secrets. Aiko piloted with grace, her crimson nails tapping commands into the console. I watched, mesmerized, as she aligned the stars themselves.

We mined side by side, our lasers humming in harmony. She shared tales of her exploits: how she’d danced with wormholes, outwitted CONCORD patrols, and once serenaded a rogue comet into submission. Her laughter echoed through the void, and I knew—I was falling, faster than a warp-speed frigate.

As the cargo hold filled with precious ore, she leaned closer. “Captain,” she said, “do you believe in destiny?”

I stammered, my heart pulsing like a malfunctioning capacitor. “I—I do. But what of our paths, Princess? Yours, a cosmic tempest. Mine, a humble freighter captain.”

She touched my hand—a spark across the circuits. “Jaxon,” she whispered, “we are stardust, bound by gravity and chaos. Our fates entangled like binary stars.”

And then, she kissed me—a collision of supernovae. Her lips tasted of quafe and adventure. In that moment, I understood: Love in New Eden was like navigating a wormhole—uncertain, exhilarating, and utterly irrational.

We returned to Jita, our holds brimming with riches. Aiko gazed at the stars, her crimson cloak billowing. “Captain,” she said, “will you join me? Together, we’ll liberate highsec from bot aspirants and dance among the asteroids.”

I nodded, my heart a fusion reactor. “With pleasure, Princess.”

And so, dear diary, I record this cosmic truth: Love, like antimatter, annihilates reason. Princess Aiko Danuja—the pirate queen, the crimson comet—has stolen my warp core.

End Transmission.