Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Tonight, I met with the CSM. Innominate has been crying IRL about his security status, but I reassured everyone. Later, Mrs. Brisc Rubal had to interrupt and ask Brisc why he was talking about “sex status”.
Being an EVE celebrity is quite a trip.
I don’t mind the attention.
I’m here to help.
Ok buddy! I’ll explain it again.
That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
That’s the truth!
I made a new alliance, for the future (and not the past).
What can I say?
You can’t deny success.
Hey there.
We are the most powerful alliance in the galaxy.
Trust is the most valuable commodity in EVE Online.
If you don’t believe me, this could be you.
Just calm down.
Yikes, never go full Ward.
Oof.
It’s just a game, until you are crying in local, two years later.
Haha, it’s funny.
What a crazy retard.
Like, for real.
I don’t even want to laugh at you.
I can’t help it though.
Here’s an official endorsement from CODE.
I’m still on the team.
That’s right.
I’ve heard that I am to blame for the collapse of CODE.
However, James 315 knows the truth. I tried to save the alliance, but he wanted to die, so we could move on.
My critics hail from another alliance, from a backwards whiteknight dimension, where the CODE. logo is not orange… but blue. They praise their version of James, a boring gankbear named Hrothgar, who doesn’t even blog. Hrothgar left the New Order, but still craves the fame and the legacy. He uses the CODE. logo like a blue module, which he plagiarized to maximize his isk/hr.
Let me be clear. I left the CODE. alliance, because I saw no future in the alliance without James. In contrast, Hrothgar saw no future with James. His axis of autism is composed of salty former fans, who left CODE. before James quit blogging. They deleted their mining permits, and renounced James. Oh yes, they did.
I was recently checking for mining permits, when I stumbled across a counterfeit. Oh sure, it looks legitimate, but it doesn’t mention Aiko (or James). James loved me so much, that he wrote about my beauty and grace, but he forgot to mention either of us in this mining permit? Puh-leez. Here we witness a forgery.
Aiko Danuja > Why are you pretending to be CODE, with a blue James logo?
Darkside Tickler > you mention all these names…james…ets
Darkside Tickler > but i have no idea who that is
Aiko Danuja > Yeh, exactly…
So I killed the illegal miner.
Whadda was disgusted.
What kind of New Order agent would sell a permit for just 10 million isk, as if it’s some worthless piece of cheap trash?
Do you want proof that I’m the heiress to James 315?
Without a word from me, my alt’s alt can delete your fake permit, and sell the miner a permit that’s three times more valuable.
This is why James left me in charge, not you.
Cheers!
Some miners are displeased.
I have gone and done it.
Nowadays, James is the patron saint of carebears.
It’s funny to me.
I think he would have laughed.
It’s too bad he died.
Believe it or not…
…I wrote the CODE. long before James.
The most important part is the conclusion.
All miners must be destroyed.
That’s what James wanted, when I wrote the Code.
If you are reading this, you are already in orbit.
Chillso Ace isn’t very chill.
He explained why.
He doesn’t have to be.
Instead, Chillso can curse mat Otsito (and his family).
First, they will get cancer, and then the government death panel.
As Chillso explained, mat is a mass murdering psychopath in real-life. Therefore, it is only just and fair that mat’s entire family be stricken with cancer (before their public execution). As a man, mat must accept Chillso’s judgment.
The next day, Chillso made a simple proposition.
If mat kills himself, that would make it easier to mine.
Many years ago, the Mittani joked about suicide, and this is often cited as evidence of the Mittani’s depraved mind. Consequently, when the Mittani heard about Chillso, he asked mat to give the miner a second chance.
Meanwhile, Chillso reached out to local miners, including two imperial informants. As it turns out, Chillso is conducting a coordinated psyops campaign intended to convince mat to kill himself (in real life).
Chillso is allowed to do this. Right?
It’s just a game.
Meanwhile, Krig Povelli was warned by CCP, because he is Muslim.
I’m glad CCP has sensible policies, which are fairly enforced.
Indeed, Krig has been cursed for fifty years.
Hi!
I thought we should have a little chat.
Let me explain something.
I’ve got some good news.
It doesn’t matter if you are a newcrab…
…or if you’ve encrusted around the block.
We are going to have a real gay time.
This is a war of extermination.
Justice is nigh.
There is nothing you can do.
All miners go to hell.
GF!
It’s what they deserve.
Just try and stop me.
Cashmeowside.
Howbowdat?
Hey, what’s up.
People have been talking about me.
I’ve done something James 315 never did before.
I’m the greatest capsuleer in the history of New Eden.
I’m also the most beautiful woman in the galaxy.
I’m doing great.
I am a top tier antiganker.
You can trust Aiko.
You can trust my worship zombies.
Highsec is a SAFE place.
New Eden is SAFE.
Feel free to join us.
Service guarantees citizenship.
Enjoy!
The Best Revenge, Part 1
The Best Revenge, Part 78
Previously, in The Best Revenge Part 98 … the Second Galactic War was starting to look a lot like Beeitnam, and the Gewnfuehrer avia naali (aka aiva naali, aka Kingpin, aka Agent Anvil, aka lil bullet, aka 140, aka QUANTUM) dutifully moved his headquarters from Beerlin to a cave near Dienbeeinphu.
A lot of people doubted his Sun Tzu intellect, but only avia had the foresight to spot the double trading of Vily, who would soon become the laughing stock of the galaxy when he ran straight into avia’s floodplain strategy.
It was July 15th, 2020, and the weather in Delve was HOT.
After directing the Swarm, avia enjoyed some R&R…
…and he caught up with some old friends.
Occasionally, avia wondered about the rorqual he had been promised.
He also developed a new can flipping taskforce: Safety.net
Princess Aiko used Google intel to keep avia informed…
…and avia prided himself on his own literary genius.
Subsequently, avia attended the funeral of James 315.
Afterward, he returned to his war headquarters.
avia also sent Goonswarm some nitrogen, a spare Rodiva, and extra blueprint copies.
To be continued…
Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…
…and another 10 million…
Actually, she still owes 10 million.
Kiara was running out of money.
She couldn’t even afford insurance.
Everyone was pleased.
Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.
She waited and waited.
I suppose waiting is relaxing.
Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.
The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.
She wondered when her shipment would arrive.
She waited and waited.
Then she waited some more.
The end.
BONUS CONTENT
Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!
Ultimately, Kiara was content.
Listening to: CODE. Mix
Today is a special day, for it was one year ago today, that Princess Aiko liberated Highsec from the dreadful tedium of eternal victory. Many thought the golden age of ganking was finally over, and miners rejoiced that they might obtain ice in Halaima, without fear that Catalysts would bump them out of mining range.
Yes, it’s true. I am Aiko, come again to save you from yourselves.
Over the past year, I have learnt much, namely that I am now perfect.
There are many alliances, some better than others, but I find them decidedly inferior. This is a bold claim, but consider for example, the mighty Goonswarm Federation managed 22’873 kills in June, with a total value of 2.58 trillion isk. This required more than 2200 active members, averaging 10 kills per member, with an average value of 100 million isk per kill. In contrast, my alliance has just 53 active members, averaging 40 kills per member, with an average value exceeding 400 million isk.
The lesson is clear, if you cut the bullshit and trim the fat, a nimble aggressive fleet is far superior to any bloated blob. karttoon was right. I should know. We don’t need miners, bears, blues, or keepstars. Kill them all.
I’ve got no quarrel with James 315 or the Mittani. They have both done an equally fine job of trying to manage a filthy nest of carebears. However, as we discussed, I’m done trying to manage plebs. There is a better strategy.
I’ve considered your suggestion, and concur.
Let’s kill them all (again and again).
No traps here, friend!
I’m a Princess.
That’s why James 315 loves me.
Always!
)))
I’m the best.
You again…
Two possibilities exist…
Either you are alone in the universe, or you are not…
Both are equally terrifying…
Sorry, I don’t date poors.
Do you understand what I’m trying to tell you?
