Category: Faith

Guide to Absolute Victory

Guest Article

Hey, everybody, I’m Gallente Holostar, lead theorycraft design team lead for the Imperium.

Aiko made a map.

There are nine systems of interest: Torrinos, Ibura, Yoma, Oipo, Piak, Elonaya, Onnamon, Uuhulanen, and Uchomida. The miners congregate here and about. We have put a stop to all that, effective immediately. Come join us, as we continue our investigation.

*Facts and Evidence*

The miners use their Highsec wealth to rent in nullsec.

We hate Romania, so we started bumping.

Question: If Nagamac mines in Highsec, to pay rent in nullsec, what happens if he can’t mine in Highsec?

Just think about it.

Cinco de Mayo

I recently cancelled New Order shares, replacing them with Aiko Points. Isn’t that nice? VCBee 315 thus realized the New Order is bankrupt, whereas Princess Aiko has stood the test of time. How long has it been, since you heard from James 315? I bet it’s been awhile. Indeed, Aiko Points are the smart man’s choice for financial investment. VCBee thus purchased 35 points, at 1 billion isk per point.

Apparently, he had to liquidate some assets.

Bee well.

I’ll never forget you!

Earn Aiko Points

Gyatt Festival, Dodixie Federal Test Center – Stardate 23360

System: Misneden

Today, I am nullifying all outstanding New Order shares. They no longer have any value whatsoever. For those who donated, I say “Thanks for the free isk, bro.” So now what?

You must pay again!

Highsec deserves better. Since I always be best, I am perfectly positioned to provide points for every citizen of Aikospace, ensuring isk flows for eternity. Even a bearpleb can succeed through my grace. In ganking,you can and will be saved.

I am pleased Aiko Points are available for merely 1 billion isk. Each capsuleer must purchase as many points as they can, in addition to the requisite mining permits, travel visas, and/or blue passes. To encourage you in this quest, bonus points will be awarded at the following tiers: 5 billion, 20 billion, 100 billion, 315 billion, 1 trillion, and 5 trillion. Furthermore, a very special reward will be offered to each shareholder who is the first to claim a bonus tier, and annual shareholder parties will celebrate the most generous supporters of Highsec ganking.

In fact, I have decided the ultimate second-place in EvE Online will be whomsoever sends the most isk. I ask, “How much isk do you have, and why?” This is your chance to find out. Unlike you, I guarantee that all isk will be used for ganking. Now that’s a square deal! 

ISK, assets, skill points, shares, and PLEX can always be sent to Aiko Danuja, to finance Aiko points. Every purchase will be formally acknowledged, solemnly honoured, and joyously commemorated on the brand new leaderboard, which I will update once I am done investing your isk. This is all outlined in my original shareholder agreement, as codified by myself. That’s reasonable and fair.

Mission Ready Mining, Reloaded

Listening to: Hazards

Fly Fearless alliance should be afraid.

They are not mission ready.

They are barely able to compose a coherent sentence.

However, miners are still men of a sort.

You know how men are…

I’m mission ready sexy.

The Devil only wants one thing.

This sexy talk concerned my IRL boyfriend.

So naturally Devilishh was sent to miner’s prison.

Meanwhile, Tweeps decided it was time to have the talk.

Uh oh.

It is what it is.

To be continued…

That’s right.

Rebellion in Kamio

Cultural Center is a miner bumper.

100 million, or risk bump.

Muutaras urged the miners of Kamio to revolt.

Longtime readers will recall Kamio has always been uncivilized.

Muutaras vowed to devour the griefers.

He stood proudly on his soapbox.

Cultural patiently explained the law.

He also taught Muutaras some history.

Does anybody remember JTClone Ares?

Thanks for the free isk, bro!

Muutaras began brainstorming a plot.

Unfortunately, his rebel clout was diminished by his own history.

Muutaras is a graduate of the Princess Aiko School of Mining.

Even rebel leaders need a mining permit.

Muutaras made Cultural feel better.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 13

Listening to: All Day, All Night

Krig’s Korner, Episode 12

I’m kinda not an asshole.

Your alliance is absolute trash.

You should be weary.

We will finish your space adventure.

Holy Aiko guideth me.

Her blasters are made from dead miners.

Her ponytail is dipped in their virgin blood.

Let no miner retain neutrons.

May she blog about me always.

We are the Guardians of Highsec.

Tee Ka Gets PKd

Good fight!

That’s right!

What?

Tee Ka is a morality miner.

He prayed for us all.

Tee Ka is also a space lawyer.

Fortunately, he discovered the CODE.

He didn’t like it.

The rebellion was short lived.

Tee Ka was quickly overwhelmed by cats.

He fought the law, and the law won.

Tee Ka was scared straight.

So naturally, he joined my mining corporation.

Believe it or not, but newbros love gankers.

Unlike antigankers or gankbears, we are fun to hang out with.

Tee Ka was impressed by our elite PvP skills.

However, Tee Ka was also concerned.

Fortunately, everything was fine.

So he turned his attention to the CODE.

He had one simple request.

Aiko Danuja > Tee Ka please help us write a good code
Tee Ka > make it illagal to gank unarmed pilots withour warning, give them 60 sec to leave or pay the price, this would set you guys as the true side of good and justice, them firms of penalty
Aiko Danuja > that’s what we do!
Tee Ka > no that not what you do
Aiko Danuja > if u werent given a 60 sec warning, u should contact internal affairs

In fact, his proposal was already implemented by existing legislation.

There was just one last concern.

He was worried about Princess Aiko.

So he offered some fatherly advice.

Every Princess needs a Daddy.

Fortunately, he forgave on me.