Neurotica 1, Part 5

Neurotica 1, Part 1

Previously… Erotica 1 was a very bad boy.

You can listen to one bonus round here.

Just go ahead and open your inventory, select all your assets, and contract those to me. Ok?

Ok. What, wait? What am I doing? Why? Fuck you.

Here is an authentic customer testimonial:

I agree wholeheartedly that the “bonus room” is just what Jester described: A torture chamber. I had the “pleasure” of becoming a bonus room contestant earlier this week, and it’s just as bad as it sounds. I had just come into some PLEX as a gift and had ISK to burn, so I – foolishly – decided to try out Erotica 1’s “ISK Doubling Service.” To my amazement, I actually “won” and my ISK was doubled. I double checked his rules, and tried to submit more ISK. This time, though, I was told that I had won a bonus room, and I had a chance to earn even more ISK by demonstrating my faith. I wasn’t really interested, but I had no other chance to get the ISK that I had put in back. I got into the bonus room, and after a bit of discussion, I was promised that I would get five times my investment if I showed complete faith. I didn’t want to, but I felt so trapped, and the people in the room were very convincing. I finally began transferring all of my assets – about 5 billion ISK worth – to the members in the room. After they had all of my assets, they told me that I needed to complete a few additional tasks. Once again, I didn’t want to, but I felt like I had no choice, since they had all my assets. I had no idea what to do. They made me read some poetry and sections from various websites.

Erotica decided to try this in real life.

Step 1: He needed to create blogs.

During this step, he exploited his IRL infant’s name.

He also joined OnlyFans.

This became increasingly awkward.

Step 2: His ‘daughter’ began playing EvE Online.

Potential investors were confused.

Erotica was inspired by the inventor of ethical isk doubling.

Step 3: ?????

Step 4: PROFIT

To be continued…

Neurotica 1, Part 4

Neurotica 1, Part 1

The Sokhar Bonus Room changed EvE Online.

This was a real scandal.

Basically, Sokhar was a lucky winner, invited to Erotica 1’s sexualized ingame glory hole. After several hours of hard study, whilst reading a Wikipedia history of Saint Olga, Our Lady of Kiev, Sokhar became flustered. He began to feel agitated, and this triggered his wife. Someone, let’s call them Justin, might have made an unsympathetic comment about panic attacks. When that didn’t go over well, and Sokhar’s wife saw that he loved EvE Online more than her, the result was nothing less than a literal meltdown. It’s hard to listen to the Sokhar recording, which is why it has been lost to history, but you can’t help but feel bad for this poor woman, who clearly didn’t enjoy EvE.

There’s a lot that could be said, and has been said. An interesting twist is that Sokhar himself insisted no harm was done. However, CSM member Jester the Pleb led a whiteknight crusade for space justice, denouncing Erotica 1 as a predator. He saw Erotica not merely as a video game scammer, but as a real life monster. Ultimately, CCP sided with Sokhar’s wife, and perhaps that was best. However, the truth is less complicated. Erotica is not a griefer. He just wants sex (and money).

One day, Erotica 1 asked for my help.

I am not writing this as Aiko Danuja, a character in a video game. I am writing as [REDACTED], a polite lady from the SOUTH SIDE, a young up and comer from the block. One day, this strange man I didn’t know, begged me to marry him. He also happened to be Erotica 1.

Although I am a successful journalist in EvE Online, I am also doing well in this world. Sometimes, I just want to focus on real life. Indeed, it is lawful for me to discuss my ex, and his convoluted plans to fuck me (and get rich). So this is about my IRL relationship with Erotica 1.

Erotica made a deliberate decision to repeatedly and proudly reveal his identity to the world, with multiple posts across multiple platforms, all intended to attract attention to himself. I cannot respect Erotica’s decision to dox himself, but I will certainly respect his awe inspiring and truly boundless ambition.

He proposed to me, and I accepted (of course). This makes Erotica my real-life ex-fiancé. So please don’t begrudge me if I affectionately refer to him as Justin, because that’s his name, which he so clearly indicated he wanted to be known by. Of course, I’ll do his family the favor of not acknowledging the full name, which places me in full compliance with NATO privacy laws. So ya, we got engaged…

This is a story about a man, a woman, and the fate of the galaxy (in real life). She played EvE Online, and he was permanently banned (for sex crimes in outer space). However, what if he came back?

Along the way, I was guided by George, the CODE. executor who originally taught Erotica how to isk double.

Justin decided to make a blog four blogs. That was in itself problematic, as he claimed to be using the irl name of his infant child.

This would not end well.

On his blogs, Erotica openly came out as a man, who enjoys sex. Furthermore, he vowed to save the Ukraine, as champion of Kiev. Meanwhile, he became CEO of NFT Corporation.

At every opportunity, he gleefully doxxed himself.

Erotica’s ‘daughter’ intended to change the world.

To be continued…

Sicherung Deaktiviert

Trigger Warning

Hallo!

Commander ZVON, in an EvE Online space adventure.

Where did ZVON’s battleship go?

Where do you think the ship is?
Scroll down to find out…
No peeking!
Do you think you know?
Are you ready?
Did you guess correctly?

In EvE Online, the magic is real.

ZVON begged for his lastest battleship…

All monay loost.

It was a cruel dark galaxy

ZVON contacted his only friend.

ZVON did not feel well.

Hard times in outer space.

Fortunately, mercy comes to those who beg.

ZVON needed a ship.

A fair price.

Krig sent the wrong ship!

What a day.

TrueCrazy

Listening to: Space Strippers

TrueRoyalty has a religious faith.

The earthquakes in Turkey and Syria were inspiring.

Like most miners, True is one of the good guys.

Antigankers love the miners.

Remember, CCP said that gankers are griefers!

Miners are God’s chosen people.

In EvE Online, you can be anything you want.

TrueRoyalty roleplays as a crazy person (in real life).

You reap what you sow!

Barnso Strikes Back

Previously, we met Barnso.

Unfortunately, Barnso did not fly safe.

What happened?

At least he likes me.

Barnso applied for SRP.

Barnso was excited to win 6.21 billion isk.

So he sent me a portion of his prize money.

He also tipped Sargon.

What a nice guy!

Cheers!

=BONUS ROUND=

Molly continues to bump the Miner Hunting Service.

I love my space job!

lorrenzo nub’s REVENGE

lorrenzo nub, Part 1

Previously, we met miner lorrenzo.

He owed me money.

We settled on a compromise.

He would pay me to stop posting about him.

A fair bargain!

I was excited to show my TRUE nature.

I filled lorrenzo with that PvP spirit.

Don’t listen to the whiners.

Ganking is fun!

lorrenzo finally understands how to play EvE Online.

A happy ending!

A Brief History of CODE.

The once mighty CODE. alliance had terminal autism.

Literally, autism.

NOL Director Super Perforator was unwell.

Super declared war on Aiko!

He roleplayed “victory”.

Victorious gankers should stop ganking. Right?

Super Perfie had no time for gankers.

Perfie preferred antigankers.

However, a princess cannot abide antigankers…

So Super Perforator ban/muted all the gankers.

Perfie was seduced by antiganker “agent” Knowledgeminer

Fortunately, Aiko has powerful friends in Highsec.

Knowledgeminer was arrested!

However, Super Perforator continued to harbor antigankers.

Meanwhile, Perfie autistically denied the death of James 315.

Inevitably, The Conference Elite denounced New Order Logistics.

Everyone said NOL is trash.

So TCE decided to form a new alliance, without NOL.

Stay tuned for a brief history of the CODE. alliance.

To be continued…

Bee well.

The Exanondus, Part 6

The Exanondus, Part 1

Previously, on Aiko Danuja is the best player in EvE Online blog.

Exanon Alleile searched for a missing Mackinaw.

Eventually, he/she/xie began casting curses.

Subsequently, Damien Oxytocin encountered a raving alt.

Would Princess Aiko be able to resize these screenshots?

Someone is cursing us at length.

Will Jesus Christ travel through a wormhole and save Jita?

Suddenly, the big reveal. Irie Tsero was Exanon all along!

Your choices in EvE Online will have ETERNAL consequences.

What Would James Do?

Perfect -10

Dunk Dinkle ranked his favourite EvE players.

I’m a perfect -10.

Miners are always excited to see me.

They often have questions.

I love to help!

Anthony has been a good little miner!

His alts all have mining permits.

What a happy bear!

What could possibly be wrong?

Oh, right, he still needs a fleeting permit.

Anthony just had one more question.

It would only cost 100 175 million isk to get an answer.

I’m sure he’s paid all the fees — right?

Like omg, I’m like such a cutie!