Rusell

As with the old MinerBumping blog, there is often rancorous debate over who deserves acknowledgement, when, why, and how much.

As always, shoutouts are available for the low price of just 1 billion per shoutout. As an example, I will give a PAID shoutout to Bei QiAo. If I had a hat, I’d tip it, but I don’t. You are doing a great job buddy, keep up the good work.

非常好

WE NOW RETURN
TO OUR REGULAR BROADCASTING SCHEDULE

Rusell has been antiganking for awhile.

He’s not very good at it.

James 315 found Rusell amusing. I would know, because we’d stay up late at night, holding hands and talking about the blog.

James was right all along… Rusell is an odd duck. My sources in the antiganking community tell me that he has been trying to rile them up against me (me!), as a part of a campaign to literally remove PvP from Highsec.

Even dedicated antigankers find him to be an extremist.

Now that I’ve become James 315 (in real life, but not in game), Rusell has found himself orbiting me endlessly, at all hours of the day. Wherever I go, there he is! He doesn’t do much, but he is awful chatty.

Recently, I told him of my plans for an Aiko statue.

Like James before me, Rusell awaits my inevitable permaban.

Rusell positively hates me!

I’m next on his list.

Why did Rusell become a career antiganker?

He’s a very private man.


However, he recently opened up about his feelings.

He likes Notepad, and hates PvP.

We had a private conversation.

He apologized profusely.

I now have his explicit consent to gank.

He left me with one piece of advice.

Victory!

If you have official private communications for the CODE. alliance (not for me), feel free to contact Aiko, and I will summarize for James 315. Such manifestos are typically rambling and incoherent, but I’ll highlight the best part.

Ok! This is a common trait.

Likewise, Coach Subway is back, and he is not easily embarrassed either.

I’m sure glad to be in my alliance.

It feels pretty darn good.

Of course, things could be better.

Those who know me, are aware I’m a little disappointed with how some people are choosing to spend their time in this alliance.

It’s most disappointing. I shall have to go all out on some modifications. However, I am proud of myself, and those of you who are doing good work. Lately, I’m thinking of Gurt, Barnes, and Aveve. If I had a hat, I’d tip it.

Someday, I will look back on this, as our era of trials and tribulations, when we had to endure every humiliation and disgrace. People thought we weren’t a real alliance, just a carboncopy of a silly meme from 2012. Apparently, there are those who just value their secret nullsec operation a little more than our unimportant Highsec alliance. All of these people will fall in line, or they will be gnashing their teeth.

CODE. always had this same problem. Some people, it seems, just don’t take pride in their alliance, because their main isn’t even it. They’ve got some other alliance, that they value more. Isn’t that right?

We will defeat the carebears. All of them.

It’s my birthright.

Oh yes, Vily. I’ll keep you nice and SAFE.

Oh, it’s you again?

My email gets a lot of spam.

Yes, that Ward.

EVE has endless cringe drama.

When I kicked Ward out of CODE. with the blessing of James 315, I only did it because I didn’t want to be in the same alliance. No thanks!

Like, really?

Apparently, Ward didn’t biomass.

So now I’m getting more insane rants.

That’s right. James 315 was bullied out of the game, by Ward.

So now you know, the rest of the story.

Fortunately, some people send better content. Ward, I’m sorry, you aren’t even interesting enough for a full post. It’s just like yikes, like omg stop mailing me. Like wow, like how are you still like writing emails at me?

Let’s check out some ok quality salt.

Arkan Soikutsu is a born again miner.

Was that an un-ironic grrrrr?

Arkan Soikutsu > christianity says not to killl………….
Aiko Danuja > You broke the 10 commandments
Aiko Danuja > The wages of sin are DEATH
Arkan Soikutsu > so did you ?
Aiko Danuja > I am without sin, a virgin and chaste.
Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator > filthy miners will meet justice
Aiko Danuja > Pay unto Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator what is Radar-FTL Interlink Communicator’s – this is written in the Bible.

Every now and again, we meet an unrepentant miner.

They are salty with the tears of Christ.

What a great game!

As for Ward… I know you are reading this. Please, just be honest with yourself, and review the email I sent you literally years ago.

It’s been memorable, that’s for sure.

Happy New Year!

Yah, you’ve sure changed a lot…

That’s right.

WoW!

Something amazing is happening in Highsec.

Only one alliance dares to confront the mining menace.

We know exactly how to deal with miners.

We can help them all.

A dead miner is a compliant miner.

An empty belt is a compliant belt.

Just say no to mining.

It’s what James always wanted.

Cheers!

Goodnight

I like new players.

I love to help.

Even my enemies adore me.

Everybody is content.

I’ve met a lot of nice men…

…and women too.

I kind of like the attention.

Sometimes they write Soviet love letters.

They just need a little discipline.

Ok, goodnight!

My Business

My business is Highsec business, and I mean business.

When I discovered Tathar mining in an 0.9, I was absolutely disgusted. He’s been playing since 2011, and mining in an 0.9!

I finally got his attention.

He was ashamed. However, when asked to purchase a mining permit, Tather began to extort me. He threatened to quit, unless he could mine for free!

Meanwhile, he worried I might shoot his ship (again).

Perhaps I might give it back, if he obeys the law?

Tathar wanted his ship, but he didn’t like having to pay for it. He just wanted to relax, and make isk while doing something else.

We had a little debate about governance and property rights.

I had to exert my authority.

He prophesied that EVE is dying, and it is Aiko, Destroyer of Miners, who will be the ultimate undoing of the AFK caste.

I tried one last time to be reasonable.

Some people say I’m a beeutiful witch. Bzzbzz.

That’s right. I’m a wasp.

Pay me.

It works like a charm.

It’s not roleplay.

This is serious space business.

lowsec outreach

As part of our lowsec outreach programme, we are removing Gallente terrorists from former Caldari space. Dodixie democracy is a scam, and ‘their’ stars are rightfully administered by my loyal vassal, the Caldari State.

During the Siege of Fliet, Gallente crabs were evicted by the New Order.

Subsequently, the dead pirate Sheltark Sykari decided it would be ok to pad his Caldari killboard, by whoring on gank catalysts in Uedama. This is a good time to remember that our claim in Uedama is real, unlike the claims of faction warfare roleplayers. I consulted with Dolphin Don, and we agreed it was time.

Don began clearing the gate, removing Sheltark’s morale support barge, piloted by fellow streamer evan mclean (aka Kalle Almighty). Subsequently, we were approached by a frog, Fjun Saraki. Since he was at war with Sheltark, Fjun offered assistance. However, we soon noticed something wrong with Fjun.

Aiko Danuja > the issue is Sheltark will just jump gate
Fjun Saraki > but once he jumps other side is where i want him
Aiko Danuja > can u catch his frigate?
Fjun Saraki > my bc locks slow right?
Aiko Danuja > yep
Fjun Saraki > if i shoot him hes a legal target for me cause im gallente militia
Aiko Danuja > i know this
Fjun Saraki > but then that means im suspect right?

Like most frogs, Fjun was incompetent. Meanwhile, on Sheltark’s stream, we observed Fjun sending salty messages.

I wasn’t sure who to bump first. Neither miner had a mining permit, so how should I prioritize? Naturally, I consulted the Code, which I personally wrote (and loaned to James 315, back in 2012), “I will occasionally have more than one miner whom I could bump. So how should I prioritize? Those who violate the Code will be at increased risk.” With this in mind, I constructed a target priority matrix.

It was close, but the matrix designated Fjun as our target.

It thus came to pass, that Safety agents rescued an antiganker, whilst the antiganker was busily crafting himself another medal.

Sheltark was the happiest ag in the history of Uedama.

Afterward, I updated my tactical matrix.

It was clear what must be done.

Victory!

Cromeanator Man

Cromeanator lose ship.

Cromeanator not like.

Cromeanator make mad.

Cromeanator make cry.

Cromeanator make dumb.

Cromeanator want new.

Cromeanator like Princess.

Princess help Cromeanator?

Cromeanator make complain.

Princess make nice.

Princess make trust.

Cromeanator want ship!

Cromeanator make wait.

Long wait.

So long!

A New Logo, for a New Era

Every few years, the Imperium evaluates the efficacy of Highsec ganking. Fortunately, we passed our audit, and The Mittani has once again acknowledged the People’s Democratic Republic of Highsec. Consequently, the ice interdiction will continue, until further notice. Meanwhile, in honour of our continued status as an independent sovereign state, I have graciously allowed CCP to use my personal seal.

I’m sure James would have loved it.

This design was produced by Zaenis Desef, and is reminiscent of similar designs by Blake McAllister and Sargon of Amerish.

Sargon’s version, some felt, was a little too good.

Blake’s idea was really the same basic concept. Zaenis and I looked at this, and discussed how we might improve it. Credit where it’s due, I never would have come up with the idea of putting myself on the alliance logo. Such hubris and vanity is far beyond me. I was perfectly happy to have James enshrined forever, in a hideous shade of orange. However, some people think it’s high time to shatter the glass ceiling, and put a woman atop our keepstar. Well, I can’t disagree, I should have called the alliance AIKO. However, I gotta say, Safety. will look pretty good on the nullsec map.

There were a number of suggestions, some that just didn’t quite match CCP’s formatting requirements. Gurt Benoit, for example, had a great idea. It was just a little ahead of it’s time. Once CCP fixes Walking in Stations, we will surely be able to permanently trap miners inside decorative bubbles.

I liked the message here, but it’s too wordy.

Dolphin Don wanted a sea theme, but it was too sexual.

Don felt we could use the logo to educate, about the dangers of mining, but we were concerned this might trigger recovering miners to relapse.

Tweeps wanted more of an early 1990s broadcast television theme, but personally I prefer pictures of myself. Can you blame me?

Before he was banned, Zuzzik portrayed me as a crystalline entity.

I thought the triangle S thing was cool (who made that?).

Globby suggested using the criminal timer.

Some submissions were good, but they weren’t the right size.

Ultimately, there were a lot of fine submissions.

Alt 00 had an interesting idea, which we could have developed further. However, Zaenis was the first to produce something with sparkly stars. Oh, how cute! 100% of the voters immediately selected his design. Subsequently, in their infinite wisdom, CCP decided to attack my fair visage with an eraser.

Why?

https://images.evetech.net/alliances/99010569/logo?size=128

At first, I thought CCP was sending a warning. They didn’t do this to anyone else. No other logo has been so ravaged.

Why am I singled out for defacement, covered in dirty grime and scratches? Well, I know the reason. More than any alliance, we represent the gritty reality of New Eden. CCP has chosen us to represent their vision. Miners will never live to see the freshly painted logo. All carebears will ever see is how it looks later, when the greedy salvager scoops scrap metal into his hull, wondering who killed his friends… and why? So that’s fine CCP, if you want to scuff up my face, I’m gonna scuff up your crabs.

Regardless, people seem happy with it, not that they have a choice.

If you think it’s so amazing, join my alliance.

Together, we can save the miners!

So Hot!

Hi!

I thought we should have a little chat.

Let me explain something.

I’ve got some good news.

It doesn’t matter if you are a newcrab…

…or if you’ve encrusted around the block.

We are going to have a real gay time.

This is a war of extermination.

Justice is nigh.

There is nothing you can do.

All miners go to hell.

GF!

It’s what they deserve.

Just try and stop me.

Cashmeowside.

Howbowdat?