Miners often don’t appreciate what they have.
A good princess, who keeps them SAFE.
Brave knights, who are far better than the common plebble.
An entire community, a real civilization.
We are the only alliance with dedicated heralds.
We brought LAW and ORDER to New Eden.
We enforced integrity and compassion upon the galaxy.
Consequences will never be the same.
You can trust in Safety.
How do you feel about them apples?
I will be submitting the new alliance logo soon, so if you have any suggestions, this would be the time. Of course, I’ve got a fair idea what I will go with, but we will see. Anyways, I’d like to show you the current frontrunner.
Wow, Sargon, that’s really great!
My alliance is the best ever, mainly because me.
A lot of people just don’t get it.
Here’s a hint: I’m awesome!
I’m just the best.
EVE needs me, and I know it.
So make sure to send me all your isk…
…and I might even acknowledge you!
Ok, I’m busy now.
WoW! Check out this amazing article, published by EVE Onion!
WoW! Check out this amazing short story, published by CCP!
Sometimes, miners are AFK.
Sometimes, they are semi-AFK.
Are they ever not AFK?
Sometimes, they are in the bathroom.
Or, they are outside.
Sometimes, they are pleasuring themselves.
Or, they are doing mindless medical ‘research’.
Sometimes, they are playing dress up.
Or, they are at work.
Basically, they just aren’t paying attention.
It’s our duty to euthanize them.
I’m the most honest person in EVE Online.
The truth is right here, always!
It’s not hard to understand.
I like money.
I just can’t help it.
I want more.
I need it so bad.
Give me all your money.
Honestly, I like Xack. No cap. He’s a cool guy, and a great pilot…
…however, I don’t sell wormholes.
Or do I?
To be continued…
Highsec Miner Grab Bag #232
Apparently, I’m not the only one.
Miners struggle to remain calm.
Sometimes, we have to translate.
It’s just amazing content.
Russians are the best.
Here’s a pro tip.
Refusing to pay terrorists is a bad strategy.
We know carebears are terrified…
…and they should be.
Hello again, dear friends. Salope!
What is the point of mining?
People have been doing it for years.
I don’t think they will ever stop.
I hope not, because I want to kill them.
So I want the miners to stop, but not really.
Would a firefighter want the fire to burn out?
I just want miners to die, over and over, for my own amusement.
They also seem to enjoy this.
I <3 Uedama.
You see the most amazing sights here.
Ever since we evacuated Delve, we’ve been in the Drunk Zone.
That’s right! We needed Safety.
Uedama is real Delve.
It’s a strategic location.
This is where we get you.
See ya there!
Miners just want someone to talk with.
New players are often shocked to realize that, unlike PUBG or CoD, they can actually have a conversation with the people who are killing them.
When they realize they got beat by a girl, this often leads to an awkward moment, as it’s the first time they’ve ever actually spoken to a young lady.
I offer every new player a free isk triple.
It’s a pivotal moment in their space adventure, choosing to send their small pittance to me, instead of buying a new Venture.
I am so glad they are content.
I love helping newbros.
They all deserve a little attention.
Why do you think I do it?
I’m a content creator.
I’m doing great. That’s amazing.
Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.
Together, we can make a difference.
We might even make a little money…
…and a few new friends!
The following is a paid advertisement for the Mittani’s prestigious Princess Aiko Foundation.
Last year, CCP scammed everyone who invested in the bounty system. Miners spent billions of isk on me, James 315, and other esteemed members of the community. Subsequently, CCP removed the bounties, and they have not bothered to refund any of the payments. Fortunately, someone else has created a new bounty scam.
This new bounty system doesn’t change anything. The only people who can claim bounties are existing members of Pleb Force, and payouts are dependent upon the capricious whims of evildoers Githany and Wah. In other words, if you don’t like gankers, you can send isk to antigankers, and they will find a way to waste your money.
It thus came to pass, that none other than Princess Aiko, became the most wanted woman in the galaxy. I suppose it was always meant to be. Yes, by the way, Aiko actually is 7’9″ tall, and she dominates the WNBA.