Krig’s Korner, Episode 9

Krig’s Korner, Episode 8

Hello friendos, it’s me Ryan, aka Krig Povelli.

Recently, I found myself in a situation.

Michal asked me to be his life coach.

However, I take a firm stand against bigotry.

Michal dropped a casual M-word.

Reverse reverse discrimination is not ok.

Once upon a time, Michal was a good man.

Now he is an old miser.

He just wanted a free ship.

Otherwise, he threatened to quit.

Tough love is the best love.

I urged Michal to stop whining.

Nobody likes a poor.

Fortunately, it was time for bed.

Good night Michal!

Later, in bed, he composed a brief letter.

CSM 18

As leader of the CSM, it is my duty each year to select those individuals whom I deem most worthy. Of course, some people think that I should run for CSM myself, but as a permanent member and the official chairwoman, I have no need to engage in plebian politics. Furthermore, I have no desire to visit some third world ice volcano. No thanks!


Nobody should vote for Mike. Since Mike doesn’t play the game (by his own admission), he lacks experience. Vote for someone who actually enjoys EvE, as it is, rather than trying to turn the game into something it isn’t. Don’t vote for a vanity candidate who pretends the NPE is their area of ‘expertise’, or someone who tries to buy votes by handing out quarter-penny frigates (which somebody else paid for).

To be quite honest, the CSM is a scam. Numerous representatives have stated CCP ignores them. It’s purely a public relations gimmick, which allows CCP to pretend they care, while redirecting customer service to unpaid volunteers. Anyways, although I also don’t care about the CSM, here are my official recommendations (each of whom has generously paid a 1 billion isk sponsorship fee).

Amelia Duskspace

Anyone who hides behind the trig suit is clearly ugly, and Amelia is no exception. However, Amelia’s killboard is nearly as good as mine, and that’s pretty stool. I sure hope Amelia gets elected, and develops enough self-esteem to take off that silly hat!

Nuke Michael

Michael is one goofy looking character, but you can’t deny that he (unlike Mike Azariah) teaches newbros to play the game. As part of our continuing alliance with Snuffed Out, I hereby endorse Michael and wish him the best of luck in Ireland. Remember, if you aren’t voting for PvP players, then you are voting to dilute the game with PvE grinding.

Mark Resurrectus

I’ve heard the rumors, that Mark loves to eat salad, and isn’t even a real wormholer (in fact, he’s just another Goon). Well, there’s nothing wrong with salad, or Goons, so neither allegation concerns me. However, Mark is the only CSM candidate to acknowledge that ganking has been excessively nerfed. This is true! Most gankers have already quit the game, but at least Mark recognizes a legitimate issue.

=Paid Disclaimer=

=Paid Counterpoint=

Gideon Zendikar

We almost forgot Gideon existed, until we saw him on Twitch. Gideon made a compelling argument. The risk-reward balance in EvE is off, encouraging players to sit in stagnant safespace. We believe that riskier PvE will generate more PvP, and that’s the truth!


It’s hard to endorse Phantomite, because he’s such an insufferable geekster, and nobody likes him. He’s also a miner. I know, because when I told him to calm down, he started sperging, “Reeee I don’t mine anymore, look at my Harbinger reeeee.” Miner, calm down. We are still gonna vote for you, even though you don’t deserve it.

Torvald Uruz

If you want to vote for nice guys, at least find one that plays the game. Torvald may not have a clue, but he has a positive attitude. What a guy! A vote for Torvald is a vote for whatever he stands for, and he’s promised to stop running missions in Highsec.

Cael Caderu

Cael tries to communicate, although he fails to articulate any specific goals or agenda. However, he spends a lot of time cloaked up in some sleepy hole, so maybe he’ll think of something?

Dark Shines

Dark Shines is obviously a carebear pleb. Nobody else would hide inside a nullblob, defending AFK bots. However, at least he undocks, so that puts him well above the competition.


Pando and Dark Shines are literally the same person, so it doesn’t matter which one wins. The Pando alt is more mysterious, and appears to have no specific agenda, but at least he undocks.

White Orchid 0rchid.

White O0rchid is our designated pity candidate. We don’t know anything about them, and that’s their fault, but someone said they are ok. Who knows? Perhaps we will find out…


Although there are other candidates, I cannot recommend them, as they all appear to be vanity candidates.

I wrote a brief letter to encourage each candidate.


Pandoralica has agreed to tattoo my endorsement on his face.

I’ll allow it.

Krig’s Korner, Episode 6

Krig’s Korner, Episode 5

Hoo boy, it’s me, Krig Povelli.

When we aren’t filming, I enjoy EvE Online.

Recently, I met Michael Michal Somebody or whoever.

He was desperate for help!

Afterward, Michal gave me a free Golem.

This made me wonder…

Apparently, he also owned another ship.

So I taught him how to make a contract.

Afterward, we fleeted up, and had tea.

This post is sponsored by Taylors Of Harrogate.

In any hostage crisis, Taylors will set you at ease.

To be continued…

Real Talk

I like to have fun.

Recently, I reported breaking news.

Zazz is a former fan.

Remember the good old days, when Zazz still played EvE Online, after James 315 ragequit two years before?

Haha. Remember that time The Aggressor dunked James, who spent eight (8!) years writing a therapy blog, before disappearing, just like he did after his previous hobby involving… political content?

Me and James 315, we agree on politics like Ocasio-Cortez and Mitch. However, the old turtle has been dead for years. His CODE. was a tea party, astroturfed by George, which collapsed when the bubble burst. I am more sophisticated than that. By applying the principles of Hari Seldon, the Order has evolved into a grassroots autocracy.

Many battles, she emerged victorious,
Leaving her foes feeling notorious.


Bards don’t hiphop for Zazz.

James was a funny man, but I’m not.

I’m just here to help.

Some miners yearn for the old Minerbumping, with Annie Frank who on September 6, 2018, said “You did really good work. I really appreciate your new and different post. Please guys keep it up and share with us some unique post in the futureMenmy shopCar Stereo Double Din Android Player Hyepersonic Double Din Player Hyundai Creta Double Din Player CBSE open school cbse private banzaraon journeyAdj online.”

James always believed in me, even if Zazz lost faith.

I don’t think this is funny.

Who writes erotic fanfic about me and James, in the belt?

I get it… This is an ‘origin’ story.

Grrr. Hulksgarrrrr hathat. Hulkgeddon SMASH

“Praise Aiko!” is reverberated throughout the entire starbase, again and again, as the fleet takes off. Today, the miners will be hunted. Today, the miners will once again know fear.

It goes on, and reaches a happy ending.


Yakuzan logged in, to announce she quit.

Otherwise, she intends to antigank.

Yakuzan theorycrafted a successful ag doctrine.

Fortunately, Yakuzan doesn’t play EvE Online.

Back in the day, Yakuzan was a famous ganker.

This experience taught Yakuzan all the ganker tricks.

She could apply this knowledge to antiganking…

To prove it, Yakuzan orbited a gate in Uedama.

In reality, Yazkuan is just a miner.

Even miners have ships…

…but all 2007 players are failures.