Ice Assassin

Luci Gotti lost a freighter.

So he sent an assassin to kill Sargon.

The assassin was a ganker, but not a very good one.

My elite antigankers always win, with 0 damage.

Afterward, there were some emails.

I guess the assassin is also an ice miner?

Remember, bulkheads go around your cargo hold, not inside it.

There’s really only one response.

It’s guaranteed to get a response.

Always!

The Rat Story

People just want the story to be told.

Who am I to deny the will of the shareholders?

Honestly, uh…

Believe it or not, gankers aren’t into animal cruelty.

Grey, the problem isn’t that you killed a rat, or even that you tortured it to death. We’ve all made mistakes, right? The problem is that you are openly sharing this information, oblivious to social norms, without any hint of social awareness. According to the FBI, this lack of self-evaluation is an indicator of “extreme risk”. We don’t brag about torturing animals to death, in fact, it’s illegal in some regions.

The good news, is that Grey is currently too busy to be a serial killer, and he will have to wait a few years before he finally finds the time. As it turns out, according to the FBI, it’s normal for serial killers to wait until they are in their thirties.

Grey, this is not the first time that people have shown concern over your comments. Have you considered the possibility that you are a serial killer?

Some people just think it’s a little off.

Ya know?

Like, hello?????

Put the knife down buddy.

Of course, the real test for serial killer tendencies is to investigate whether they have a Hannibal Lecter style fascination with cuisine.

Donatien Alphonse Francois > how do you like your steak cooked?
CorrinoGiovanni > Ratty
Grey Ignis > rare if it’s a restaurant I trust, if not, medium rare. When I cook it at home I cook it rare, with an aromatic butter sauce and a pan sear
Grey Ignis > I made a 26oz ribeye not too long ago that I was very proud of
Grey Ignis > Made some roasted potatoes as a side with a salad and had some port wine with ice cream for dessert
Grey Ignis > So actually the other day I made this salmon, and I decided to try my hand a a glaze idea that I had, I took maple syrup, a bit of port, accent, a dash of cayenne, lemon juice, rock salt, and rosemary, and then seared the fuck out of the salmon and then added the glaze so it could caramelize in the sugar, then I added some pepper after the fact
Grey Ignis > I had a kale salad on the side with roasted asparagus
darklegionca > and a side of rat?
zxcxzx > i hear dog is pretty good
Sargon Of Amerish > I diddily ding dong do wish we could chat longer, but i’m having an old friend for diddily ding dong dinneroo!
Grey Ignis > In tems of snacks, I’m not gonna lie, a good oatmeal is always a banger
Grey Ignis > I add anise, allspice, cloves, cinnamon, mace, and nutmeg to mine
Grey Ignis > Chopped pears or apples go great, and adding milk is always good
Grey Ignis > Mhmm, and it’s good for you, great way to get protein and filling carbs that aren’t cheap
Jinx Beirutbomb > It sounds like torture makes you hungry.

Like real talk, uh…

For Shame

Some miners are displeased.

I have gone and done it.

Nowadays, James is the patron saint of carebears.

It’s funny to me.

I think he would have laughed.

It’s too bad he died.

Believe it or not…

…I wrote the CODE. long before James.

The most important part is the conclusion.

All miners must be destroyed.

That’s what James wanted, when I wrote the Code.

If you are reading this, you are already in orbit.

15693

Some miners don’t care.

Others pretend to not care.

Jojop 7777777 just wanted his Venture back.

Fortunately, I was looking out for his Safety.

However, Jojop was concerned, and didn’t understand why I share a channel with gankers. He messaged me, so we could discuss this privately.

I am very persuasive.

Of course, one must also compensate the help.

A working man has bills to pay.

It’s always a pleasure doing business in Amarr.

The Best

I’m the best.

I can shoot battlecruisers from my eyeballs.

Not surprisingly, I’m invincible, always!

For every winner, there is an equal and opposite loser.

Inpendius > these motherfuckers just attacked me in hisec for no fkn reason
Inpendius > FUCK YOU
Inpendius > I WASN’T RUNNING A MISSION, I WAS FLYING BACK TO MY HOME BASE, THEY JUMPED ME AT THE GATE IN OSMON
Kristine K0chanski > should use the jump drive thats what its for
Inpendius > STFU dumbass becuase im reporting them and this will go to court for real life consequences

When Inpendius discovered that Highsec is the arena of elite PvP, he ran away to nullsec, where he planned to crab in peace.

The thing about the CODE. which miners rarely understand, is we all came out of lowsec, nullsec, and various wormholes. In fact, we are still there. 

Shaftmaster Mastershafts needs no introduction, unless you are a pleb who has no idea who he is. Let’s just say that a mysterious line of communication stretches through Syndicate, transmitted via the secure comms of Northern Coalition, and directly into the blog of me, Princess Aiko, the Angel of Delve. 

Like most notaminers, Inpendius found all of this to be very amusing, and he vowed a sexual revenge. Furthermore, he felt quite calm.

Inpendius knew just what to say.

After some thought, he decided to add a little extra.

What is with miners and cancer?

dgaf

It’s no secret.

I’m a real princess.

Here’s a picture of me.

I’m perfect, in every way.

Don’t fuck with me, or you’ll be sorry.

I wrote the Code, all by myself.

You like that?

Alright, I’m busy doing other stuff.

Ya know?

That’s right.

That’s right!

brb

I’ve been busy.

It feels pretty good to be back.

It’s great to see all my friends again.

I’m just gonna chill.

I might shoot some miners.

That sounds relaxing.

Oh, ok, let’s check it out.

Inpendius > these motherfuckers just attacked me in hisec for no fkn reason
Fyrrenn Groning > shouldve bought a permit
KHANID PRIME GIGOLO > i make lawyer report on gankers
Inpendius > FUCK YOU
Kblocks Biggums > he was doing missions
Inpendius > I WASN’T RUNNING A MISSION, I WAS FLYING BACK TO MY HOME BASE, THEY JUMPED ME AT THE GATE IN OSMON
Kristine K0chanski > should use the jump drive thats what its for
Inpendius > STFU dumbass becuase im reporting them and this will go to court for real life consequences

Neat!

Notaminer

A lot of miners pass through Highsec.

They are still miners, even if they aren’t mining.

Mining is not an act, but a way of life.

Once a miner, always a miner.

Fun fact: You can be a miner, without ever mining.

Calm down miners.

They want to trick you.

They think you are stupid.

They want you to feel sorry for them.

They are liars and scammers.

Just kill them all.

F Off!

Miners are always happy to see me.

I’m their best friend (and their legal guardian).

w/e

I’ve been busy, and I just want to relax.

I’m sure you understand.

I’ve received a lot of feedback and suggestions.

That’s great!

What is with miners and cancer?

Well, ok then.