Official Home of the New Order of Highsec
Apparently, I’m not the only one.
Miners struggle to remain calm.
Sometimes, we have to translate.
It’s just amazing content.
Russians are the best.
Here’s a pro tip.
Refusing to pay terrorists is a bad strategy.
We know carebears are terrified…
…and they should be.
Cheers!
Hello again, dear friends. Salope!
What is the point of mining?
People have been doing it for years.
I don’t think they will ever stop.
I hope not, because I want to kill them.
So I want the miners to stop, but not really.
Would a firefighter want the fire to burn out?
I just want miners to die, over and over, for my own amusement.
They also seem to enjoy this.
That’s great!
Hi!
I <3 Uedama.
You see the most amazing sights here.
Ever since we evacuated Delve, we’ve been in the Drunk Zone.
That’s right! We needed Safety.
Uedama is real Delve.
It’s a strategic location.
This is where we get you.
See ya there!
Miners just want someone to talk with.
New players are often shocked to realize that, unlike PUBG or CoD, they can actually have a conversation with the people who are killing them.
When they realize they got beat by a girl, this often leads to an awkward moment, as it’s the first time they’ve ever actually spoken to a young lady.
I offer every new player a free isk triple.
It’s a pivotal moment in their space adventure, choosing to send their small pittance to me, instead of buying a new Venture.
I am so glad they are content.
I love helping newbros.
They all deserve a little attention.
Why do you think I do it?
It’s simple.
I’m a content creator.
I’m doing great. That’s amazing.
Gankers are the coolest people in the galaxy.
Together, we can make a difference.
We might even make a little money…
…and a few new friends!
The following is a paid advertisement for the Mittani’s prestigious Princess Aiko Foundation.
Last year, CCP scammed everyone who invested in the bounty system. Miners spent billions of isk on me, James 315, and other esteemed members of the community. Subsequently, CCP removed the bounties, and they have not bothered to refund any of the payments. Fortunately, someone else has created a new bounty scam.
This new bounty system doesn’t change anything. The only people who can claim bounties are existing members of Pleb Force, and payouts are dependent upon the capricious whims of evildoers Githany and Wah. In other words, if you don’t like gankers, you can send isk to antigankers, and they will find a way to waste your money.
It thus came to pass, that none other than Princess Aiko, became the most wanted woman in the galaxy. I suppose it was always meant to be. Yes, by the way, Aiko actually is 7’9″ tall, and she dominates the WNBA.
Believe it, or not, some people still bump miners.
The miners don’t understand.
Endoma was upset, and confused.
Fortunately, William presented a clear plan of action.
There’s a reason mining permits cost more than 10 million isk.
Cheers!
Previously, in Aiko Space… Kiara paid 520 million isk for a retriever, but the Gankers Union was bumping in Uedama. So she had to pay another 10 million…
…and another 10 million…
Actually, she still owes 10 million.
Kiara was running out of money.
She couldn’t even afford insurance.
Everyone was pleased.
Later, Kiara wondered when she would get her retriever.
She waited and waited.
I suppose waiting is relaxing.
Kiara spent a whole day, relaxing in Jita.
The next day, she woke up, ready for her retriever.
She wondered when her shipment would arrive.
She waited and waited.
Then she waited some more.
The end.
BONUS CONTENT
Here is amazing behind the scenes footage of Kiara’s reaction, when she realized she was starring LIVE on james315.space!
Ultimately, Kiara was content.
I am Princess Aiko.
My agents keep me well informed.
My fans flatter me endlessly.
My enemies cry daily.
I know the best people in the galaxy.
I also know the worst.
Previously, in AikoSpace… Kiara lost her ships, and paid 520 million isk for an appointment with Princess Aiko. There was only one last thing to address.
Kiara Wildmann > what about the retriever?
Kiara Wildmann > how i get my retriever
Kiara sat amongst the other miners, awaiting her turn to enter the throne room. She was reassured to see everyone was getting assistance, and to learn that Aiko is truly the most gracious and magnificent of all.
Eventually, Kiara was ushered into the presence of Her Royal Highness (HRH). As it so happened, this was Aiko Day, which James 315 proclaimed as a day to reflect upon and truly appreciate Lady Aiko.
Aiko was in a good mood, and infinitely merciful.
Aiko was willing to grant a free retriever, but Kiara needed to cover shipping
Kiara Wildmann > she did lie if you say she didnt ok than lets call she hide it sounds better?
Aiko Danuja > Calm down miner.
Aiko Danuja > You paid all this money to get my attention, and now I am willing to give you the retriever, but all this crying and wailing is going to cause me to look away from the screen again.
Kiara Wildmann > ok fine i stop i be silent
Aiko Danuja > Right click my name, select give money.
Aiko Danuja > Good girl.
Aiko’s personal royal delivery driver is Whadda Badasaz.
Whadda Badasaz > I am ready to deliver the retriever, who am I giving it to?
Aiko Danuja > Kiara Wildmann
Whadda Badasaz > Ok, where am I delivering the retriever to?
Kiara Wildmann > Jita IV – Moon 4 – Caldari Navy Assembly Plant
Whadda Badasaz > Ok, I’m on my way.
Kiara Wildmann > alright
Aiko Danuja > Excellent. Everything’s in order then.
Kiara Wildmann > can´t say that but i said i will be silent so i´m silent
Aiko Danuja > Kiara, do you want to say thank you, to everyone that’s worked so hard to help you today?
Kiara Wildmann > after i got my ship
Aiko became concerned that someone wasn’t appreciative.
Aiko Danuja > How hard is it to say “Thank you.”
Kiara Wildmann > Danuja i said i say thanks
Whadda Badasaz > I don’t want to haul this thing all that way and then not even a thank you??
Kiara Wildmann > i say thanks i Whadda gave me that ship i say thanks to him to you to Akasha
KazenHoax > And me?
Kiara Wildmann > and KazenHoax
Kiara Wildmann > but understand me i got fooled and tricked today
Aiko Danuja > You did?
Kiara Wildmann > i learnd not to trust
Suddenly, something terrible happened…
Like most haulers, Whadda lived in abject terror, constantly worrying that the Ganker’s Union would find him. At long last, they had him bumped down in Uedama, and Kiara’s retriever was inside the freighter!
Kiara was happy to help.
However…
To be continued…