Pew Pew, Part 2

Previously on James315.Space… Alpha female Zopiclone was cruisin through the galaxy, encountering sad pathetic miners. Vasalinda Fingerbang wasn’t as cool, and gave out some seriously mixed messages. I don’t need to tell you who has the better character portrait. Gankers do it better, always!

Vasalinda Fingerbang > Im not goint to talk to you guys anymore… gank away … just stop
Vasalinda Fingerbang > I read the terms.
Fate and Destiny > Im trying to run a business here and you are trying to Space Lawyer me?

Zopiclone just wanted to conduct space business, but you know what they say about miners. They aren’t very good at anything.

Gualu Echerie > some fat schoolguys are playing eve and gank miner, so they have at least one success that day… stealing a loly from a baby is more dangerous, the mom could punsh them….
Vasalinda Fingerbang > i have to report them every time htye hit me.. this is three times in a week.
Vasalinda Fingerbang > They will eventually lose their accounts
Renee en Welle > No, they won’t.
Fate and Destiny > and believe me Ive won against all Space lawyers
Vasalinda Fingerbang > im sot a space lawyer. Stop fucking with me
Renee en Welle > Wow… You’re giving them all the salt they want and more.

Vasalinda Fingerbang didn’t understand why gankers were so interested in her, and she was beginning to feel a little flustered.

Fate and Destiny > You need to buy a Mining Permit for 10 Million ISK and Ill add you to my blue list. Thanks for showing up
Fate and Destiny > But for you the fee went up to 30 million because you are trying to strong arm me with your space lawyer tall tales

Naughty miners shouldn’t expect us to waive their fees and penalties.

Renee en Welle > At the end of the day it’s a game, what these guys do provides as much content as anything else. Frankly their playstyle shouldn’t be annoying or surprising 🙂
Max Hoxen > you losers gankers are wankers
Max Hoxen > you can atttack only miners 😀
Vasalinda Fingerbang > you know it .
Vasalinda Fingerbang > I know leave me alone
Vasalinda Fingerbang > i was not away from keyboard
Gualu Echerie > yeah, they gank because they want easy kills… too afraid to go into lowsec….

The gobloks insisted that Zopiclone would have more difficulty in a region where her ship didn’t automatically explode after a few seconds.

Zopiclone > you need to calm down and buy a Mining Permit. Its the law
Vasalinda Fingerbang > fuck you
Vasalinda Fingerbang > is that clear enough for you?
Max Hoxen > no permits in ihigh sec … come out of your station 😀
Gualu Echerie > you have no mining permits to sell….
Gualu Echerie > check market and contracts, there are no miningpermits in game… 🙂
Vasalinda Fingerbang > it’s a bullshit extortion scam they are trying to run on newbies

The miners were increasingly agitated, squawking and ruffling their feathers.

Max Hoxen > HEY LOCALS, im gathering the fleet to make the life of these suckers misearable … please DM 😀

Zopiclone was a titan unto the miners, bringing each to judgment.


From: CONCORD
Sent: 2020.07.14 20:41

The kill right K Moros has on you has been made available to E.A.G.L.E.S. for 0 ISK.

Never Gonna SeeGrandKids > OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

***

UPDATE: Following yesterday’s post, the mighty moderators of the CODE. alliance have hastily issued an official decree, in honour of Ward Meltdown Week. I am proud to inform you that it is once again decided, now and forever, that “Respecting James 315 is not optional!” Huzzah! I only wish he could hear the Good News. 

With Ward Week upon us, it has been one full year since I seized mechanical control of the CODE. alliance. I will therefore spend this evening celebrating in Perimeter, singing a little karaoke with the Bonus Boys. I will also be reciting the humble tale of Princess Olga, and her crushing defeat of the nasty Drevlians. Hopefully, they will soon give me my ganking titan, and I will finally take my seat on the Imperial War Council.


Pew Pew

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Raneilles
Flies Undone > ganker alert
Zopiclone > blah blah blah

Some people think that being an elite CODE. ganker is all excitement and adventure, like being a supercool intergalactic agent. Those people are right.

Zopiclone Kill: Ken Ozura (Hecate) pew pew
Zopiclone Kill: Ken Ozura (Capsule) gf AFK miner

EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Vay
EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Scheenins
Gualu Echerie
> you need a shower… a cloak can’t really hide you when you smell like a 10 day dead fish with a touch of cat pee…

Harald Uanid > the smel is so horibal thet even the FEMA needs to take actions …
Learza Thiesant > wow you kids need new more hateful hobbies 😀 QQ
Zopiclone > Pretty salty about some Drones blown up?
Zopiclone > bye

Agent Zopiclone was always one of James 315‘s favourite agents, and even though our High King is at rest, Zopiclone continues to spread the Good Word and let miners know they have been blessed by the Saviourette’s officious grace.


EVE System > Channel changed to Local : Amygnon
Fate and Destiny
> Bored of mining?
Zopiclone > gf Fingerbang Kill: Vasalinda Fingerbang (Retriever)
Fate and Destiny > That’s a special special miner

Unfortunately, the passing of James 315 created a power vacuum, and a number of false prophets and tinpot wannabe leaders have attempted to carve out a vanity niche for themselves. Vasalinda Fingerbang has thus established herself as an unofficial foreman of the so-called Verge Mining Consortium.

Vasalinda Fingerbang > you guys realize that harrassment is agains the term of service. You guys making it a point to gank me everytime you see me is gonna eventually get you in trouble. Obviously, I’m not skillful enough to stop you.. .. trying to extort me for isk is within the perview of the game.. but it’s just some made up scam you guys are playing around with… pleas eleave me alone
Fate and Destiny > Negative. You are just another miner
Vasalinda Fingerbang > im trying the best I can to lear how to play this game… I actually paid to be here.. so would you do me a personal favor .. and stop harrassing me.
Fate and Destiny > Pay your 30 Million ISK for the mining Permit
Vasalinda Fingerbang > that’s not going to happen
Fate and Destiny > Or keep dying…

Zopiclone’s loyal sidekick, Fate and Destiny, recognized that it is time to stop beating about the bush and get down to business.

Vasalinda Fingerbang > I have asked yopu politely to stop harrassing me. stop destroying all my6 ships.
Vasalinda Fingerbang > I’m not going to pay any fees to you.
Gualu Echerie > lol… that miningpermit again… you say all they have to buy one, and when one want to buy one, you are not willing to trade it at npy station or make a contract over it….
Fate and Destiny > You are playing EVE. Your ships will blow up
Vasalinda Fingerbang > I am not in a low sec area.
Fate and Destiny > Go to Arraron and let trigs kill you on gate k?
Vasalinda Fingerbang > just stop
Fate and Destiny > Make sure you fit your best possible ship

With the death of James, carebears assert that mining permits are not mandatory, or even real! These heretics insist that respect for James 315 and the Code is officially not not optional. Indeed, Sun Tzu observed that the most dangerous moment for an army is at the very moment of victory, as cheerful celebrations disintegrate into woeful anguish. When line members heap praise upon dead heroes, they fail to maintain vigilance, and effusive worship turns into grotesque mockery. Lazy gobloks will thus embrace the sweet toxin of eternal victory, but the gallant faithful will remain on duty, always!

Vasalinda Fingerbang > it is against to terms of service to specifically harrass a player.. unless you declair war.

Is the once victorious CODE. alliance on the brink of war?

To be continued…

BONUS: I have been rummaging through filing cabinets and that rickety desk. I jiggled a locked drawer and was surprised to discover a stash of personal keepsakes. An expired Ice Mountain ski pass, faded photographs of James and John at the Dolphinarium, a dried up red pen, and a beautiful gold pendant. Oh James, I miss you so much.