Still going

I’m a Princess!

My word is my bond.

As the Heroin of Highsec, I am here for the miners.

We work together, like a team.

Sometimes, things do not go as planned.

Of course, we cannot escape our past.

We must continue.

We must look toward the future.

Someday, we will look back and remember.

We were the CODE. all along.

Which means…

… we are the law.

So you should probably think about why this happened.

You need more Safety.

The next generation needs Safety.

Until next time…

…stay SAFE!

BRUH

Merbles had a strange fit.

Something was missing.

In fact, his entire ship vanished.

It sure sucks to be punished.

Miners just hate bureaucratic redtape.

However, why would civilians need battleships?

He began to hurl c-words at me.

After viewing my OnlyFans, he understood I’m a real Princess.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t willing to follow the rules.

He insisted that every civilian deserves a battleship.

Does the Code regulate battleships?

Well, I guess that settles the matter.

 

 

hey ho

Hello.

Sometimes, miners make mistakes.

Transgressions cannot be ignored.

The law is crystal clear.

I try to be nice.

I am a lawful good paladin.

It’s not hard to understand.

Even a noob can obey.

I’ll let you rub those rocks.

I just need you to understand one thing.

Obey, or die.

Any questions?

Comments?

Concerns?

Ok then. cYA!

Down Bad Bros

Yesterday, we learned about Lazar us.

He still doesn’t want to purchase a mining permit.

After completing the Highsec tutorial, he invaded Pochven.

He deleted the resulting twelve hour diatribe, but the gist of it…

…is he has a fetish for fellatio.

Those of you who watched, know what I’m talking about.

Krig Povelli also showed up for the party.

Adopting miner lingo, Krig showed himself to be cool.

Even the Saviourette herself made a surprise guest appearance.

The look on his face was truly priceless.

After a stunned silence, Lazar lashed out against all women, denouncing the fact that a hot piece of ass cocksucking whore BITCH is able to turn all of Highsec into a cuckold incel simpfactory, just because she takes pictures of her tits and sends them daily to James 315. What can I say, Amouranth is my mentor, and (let’s be real) even Lazar admitted that he’d love to fuck me.

Lazar’s miner friends tried to defend his position.

Other miners (that I’ve ganked) privately denounced him.

Lazar urged me to suicide IRL.

He urged all of us to commit suicide IRL.

If he meets me in real-life, he’s gonna wreck my pretty face.

He repeatedly called me a “stupid fucking bitch” and wrote angry mails.

@Matterall, I’m the griefer here?

Should CCP cater to carebear space bullies?

Nobody likes him.

When he visited null, my boyfriend paid him a visit.

Yo boy, you down bad bruuuh, lamao!

Fortunately, lazar intends to continue losing EVE.

That’s fine with me!

 

Fortnite is Plebville

Fortnite is for plebs. In a world of blind poors, the one-eyed man is king. It was thus that Lazar us declared himself a ‘professional’, and decided to up his game. He downloaded EVE, started a corporation ‘squad’, and became a BILLIONAIRE Highsec miner. Someone stole his first Orca, but Lazar continued his space adventure.

Lazar was pleased to have so many new Twitch viewers, but was disturbed by the random ships bumping into him… and the “weird” Jackdaw, Firetail, Tengu, Buzzard, and various Catalysts following him from system to system.

Hiding his location didn’t seem to help.

Lazar was beginning to suspect that EVE is a PvP game.

Before long, his friend was gone.

Carebears whine and complain, claiming that we grief and bully newbros, but we did our best to show that EVE is a worthy challenge.

Lazar appreciated this, and began renouncing his “stupid” friend, making it clear that EVE is only for the most elite gamers. Unfortunately, he judged poorly, and accepted William Rageclaw (of minerbumping fame) as his personal white knight mentor. By the way, if you haven’t read my other blog, now is a good time. Anyways, Rageclaw advised Lazar to try PvE missions, with a predictable carebear result.

Afterward, Lazar’s capsule tried autopiloting to Jita, before returning to Amarr. He raged for hours, cursing anyone and everything (including Rageclaw).

I remember the moment I sat in lowsec, listening to creepy space music, and realizing that I didn’t have a friend in the galaxy. Lazar had this same epiphany in Highsec. His newbro bluster was gone, replaced by a thousand yard stare.

Yes, EVE is a battle royale PvP game, and everyone here is either going to kill you, enslave you, scam you, disappoint you… or seduce you.

He was surprised to learn that I’m a Princess.

Like most men, he soon hit me up on Twitter.

I know how to turn boys into men.

Lazar is finally ready to play EVE.

I wish him the best of luck!

I’m Sexy

Hi!

Today, I’m feeling sexy.

I just love to devour men.

I’m also lookin great!

You love to imagine it.

Yum!

I’m fine.

Just like a real Princess!

What do you think I want?

Real men know what I want.

I need it so bad.

Let’s just kill all the miners.

They’ve been begging for it.

We can show them a good time.

You’d like that, wouldn’t you?

Ok, let’s do it.

Don’t be shy!

You can call me anytime!

A girl has to make a living.

I’m the best there ever was!

Dock Up

Miners disgust me.

The crabs don’t even enjoy EVE.

They are always AFK.

Why are they such poors?

What are these bots thinking?

Are they even thinking?

I think we should exterminate them all.

It’s the right thing to do.

Let’s make them quit (again).

We can also take their money.

It’ll be fun!

So let’s PvP the carebears.

The only good miner is a dead uninstalled miner.

Right?

No Title, Don’t Care

I’m just so amazing.

The miners love me.

I deserve a trophy.

zuzzik made this video to congratulate me.

I’m doing great!

My power grows beyond measure!

That’s right!

Wheeeee!

Attention

When I log into EVE, people notice.

I always check for friendly greetings.

I’m happy to hear from locals.

Sometimes, we even have a nice conversation.

If you purchase a mining permit, you can enjoy this same attention.

evan mclean wears his permit with pride, in nullsec.

evan loves his permit.

Everybody loves me.

I’ve got the galaxy wrapped around my fingers.

Just obey the rules…

…there’s nothing to be confused about.

I’m the heroin of Highsec.

So let’s have fun!

We’ll find you…

…and you’ll love it.

Until next time…

Keep calm and carry on.

You might even be a winner!

Talking in Stations

Last night, Zaenis Desef was on Talking in Stations.

Matterall kept worrying about all the newbros who are permanently traumatized by Highsec ganking, but Zaenis did a good job of urging everybody to calm down and remember that this is just a video game.

Let’s check out some highlights from the chat!

Great segment!

BONUS: Afterward Zaenis streamed some Orca ganking, and you could hear Princess Aiko nagging him to fix his audio settings.

Niiice!