What a Hateless crybaby

Believe it or not, but EvE Online is a PvP game. Players fight over resources, in a battle royale. As an analogy, consider the game Fortnite. In the image below, you can see a miner, harvesting ore.

Of course, there’s always a little cutie with a ponytail, who won’t hesitate to shoot a hapless miner.

Carebears whine and moan endlessly, complaining about those meanie “griefers” who engage in PvP. One crybaby recently gave me permission to share his tears with you.

Thank you Hateless.

Hateless sees no problem with “griefing” in nullsec, but he cries foul when someone touches him in Highsec.

I know what you are asking.

Earlier today, Adrian Vexier decided to bump an Orca.

I could have shot Hateless (again), but I was already shooting someone else, so the crybaby miner was perfectly safe. Ultimately, nobody ganked Hateless, but he is still crying.

Nobody shot Hateless. Nevertheless, the mere presence of another player was enough to “provoke an emotional response”. Hateless was frustrated that another player was playing the game. So he sat down next to his motorcycle, and quit his space “job”.

EvE Online “stream fleet” partners are coddled by CCP. They get free handouts, free plex, free skins, and free advertising. Apparently, it’s just not enough. Hateless merely wants to get paid for not playing, with no hassle from the other players.

Minerbumping is a timeless tradition. Consequently, I have no idea how Hateless can feel entitled to mine in Highsec, with a fleet of Hulks, and yet he throws a temper tantrum whenever someone bumps his Orca. What does he expect is going to happen?

Apparently, if you declare Highsec mining to be your “job”, then you can claim harassment because other players are interfering.

Hateless simps rallied to his defense.

New players deserve protection!

Everyone is discussing how to stop gameplay in a game.

Oh boohoohoo, the miner can’t maximize his isk/hr.

Honestly, CCP should stop enabling carebears.

Highsec miners should be banned from the Partner program.

They can go play a different game.

Seriously, just go.

It’s literally a game.

I will give the final word to Dex.

Tannia Got Ganked (again)

Every carebear knows that gankers enjoy griefer roleplay harassment. However, today we will consider another side of the story. Believe it or not, but some miners enjoy the attention.

When Tannia Voxx lost her Golem, she understood that it is important to purchase a mining permit.

As an AFK miner, Tannia was proud to purchase an AFK permit.

Alas, Tannia died again.

You might expect that she would be upset.

Fortunately, I did not ignore her emotional distress.

Like many miners, she enjoyed a prolonged cry.

Contrary to popular belief, miners are not griefed in the Why Was I Ganked? channel. Instead, they study space law.

Tannia had a lot of paranoid concerns.

Ultimately, she purchased a non AFK permit.

Tannia is ready to mine in style!

Yes, some people actually enjoy spending their money on ships that get blown up in a video game. They enjoy getting invited to an ingame channel, where they are told to calm down and send isk.

I love to help the little miners.

Her new corporation is happy to meet her.

Peace and Love

CCP wants everyone to calm down.

Everyone Gankers must remain respectful.

We must reject all forms of griefplay harassment.

It is a bannable offense to ignore a miner’s emotional distress.

Every player deserves respect.

Streamers are a privileged caste, with more rights than ordinary players.

I’m just playing an emotionless videogame.

We always treat each other with RESPECT and DIGNITY.

We must never provoke an emotional response.

I have read the secret IceCream annex to the EULA.

You can threaten to rape me in real life, it’s clearly my fault.

PvP is a violation of the EULA, because it triggers an emotional experience.

EvE is a game for peaceful AFK miners.

The player count proves that CCP knows how to develop this game!

Where is gibasten13+1?

A lot of people (nobody) has been wondering where he is.

gibasten13+1 (aka 100percent loot) has terminal autism.

He was last seen threatening irl violence.

Some people are retarded in real life.

This is what it’s like, to have retards in your alliance.

gibasten14 has a stupid name, with a stupid number.

13+1 is an unlucky number.

He loved that number, and I killed it.

He just couldn’t let it go.

So I kicked him.

Silly carebear, miners can’t be gankers.

However, where is he today?

At first glance, you might think he hates me.

Actually, he is in love.

I’m the most powerful woman in EvE Online.

I’m even the star of my own DALL-E storyboard.

Nice!