EvE Online is more than just a spaceship battle royale.

It’s also a sitcom, in outerspace.

Antiganker EVERESS 88 was proud to purchase her very own Aiko corpse.

However, relations soon soured.

It all started when EVERESS revealed that the real year, in real life, is 1984. That’s right! “They” don’t want us to know the truth, but Hollywood film titles contain secret clues to the real true year of our Lord.

EVERESS was furious when Aiko told her gossipy little clique.

All of Aiko’s friends began laughing at the silly miner.

Even worse, Aiko expected EVERESS to apoligize!

EVERESS regretted her investment in Aiko’s sexy body.

The antiganker no longer wanted to give money to gankers.

EVERESS was so upset, she struggled to spell basic words.

The truth was revealed. Aiko is a BASIC BITCH and a single mom.

This went on for hours.

Eventually, EVERESS decided she was done spreading TRUTH.

*THE END*

*****

In other news, Krig Povelli helped a miner.

The miner’s security status dropped from 0.1 to -5.7!

What happened?

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