Tale of the Tombkeeper

Listening to: Dance the Night

Why??? How did the mighty CODE. alliance became a mere tomb for dead alts, cobwebs, and dusty bios?

What happened?

Super Pleb was there.

As director of NOL, he was universally despised.

Super opened the doors wide, but nobody joined.

The comments at Minerbumping are self-explanatory.

Super was always a disgrace.

So, on June 24, James 315 finally did it.

However, Super didn’t get the memo.

One day, a ghost came to visit.

Before James, John was executor of the alliance. Upon his return, he was not pleased by CODE. civil war.

As moderator of the minerbumping channel, Super was gleefully banning Aiko, and anyone who supported her.

With James gone, forever, even Super lamented the fact that nobody could do anything about Super.

The rest of the alliance was annoyed.

We wondered if Super was quite sane.

Naturally, John urged Super to calm down.

Super wanted the CODE. to be a tomb. However, corporation Big Willies PvP Madness wanted the alliance to be, well, an alliance that does something more than orbit a dead star.

With two active members in NOL, Super was threatened by the success of other ganking corps. He blamed James for this.

James had wisely allowed everyone to join another corporation, negating Super’s status as “cat’s meow” of NOL. Consequently, when Super banned people from Minerbumping, they could just join a different channel, or even a different alliance.

Which is exactly what happened.

Super embraced a helpless doom and gloom philosophy of inevitable stagnation and decay. Without James, gankers wanted new leadership, and the wound was deep. Super tried to stop the bleeding, but he only made things worse by draining blood from a desiccated corpse. Meanwhile, with every ban, Aiko grew stronger.

When he was done, there would be nobody left.

A dead alliance was better than one with Aiko.

Super repeated his mantra.

That felt good.

Super kissed the feet of his dead god.

This is the ‘leadership’ he provided.

Super wanted John to understand.

Super couldn’t accept reality, or Aiko. Clinically, he struggled to adjust his behaviour to suit various social contexts, and failed to engage in imaginative play with friends, continually falling back upon restricted repetitive patterns. Meanwhile, the death of James left a void, which would inevitably be filled.

Of course, everyone was concerned about the mails.

John encouraged Super to gank more.

Super didn’t want gankers in the ganking alliance.

A ganking alliance can’t survive without gankers!

Roleplayers aren’t real leaders.

Super was an idiot.

Without James, he had no hope for the future.

Would you join Pharaoah, in his tomb?

Super couldn’t wait!

What a goofus.

What a pleb!

For real.

Cheerzah!

That’s right!

lol

What would James say?

=BONUS ART=

Aiko and Super, by Alt 00

Baby, you can find me in Highsec
Diamonds under my eyes
Turn the rhythm up, don’t you wanna just
Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit so tight
You can see my heartbeat tonight
I can take the heat, baby, best believe
That’s the moment I shine

Don’t give a damn
When the night’s here, I do tears
Baby, you got no chance
When your heart breaks
I could dance, watch me dance
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place

Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
When the galaxy shakes
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps

I don’t play it safe (ooh)
Don’t you know about me? (Uh-huh)
Even when your tears are flowin’ like diamonds
I’ll still keep the party goin

#FREE NEFFI

Listening to: Democracy Manifest

Well, hello there.

One day, the ban hammer slipped.

Neffi Cake (aka Luci Gotti) got banned, permanently, maybe.

Investigative Princess Aiko investigates…

Meanwhile, ISD Redacted was summoned to space court.

Likewise, Redline doesn’t care.

The other miners accuse CCP of international crimes.

Damning chatlogs prove CCP devs are Snuffed Out alts.

Of course, they deny everything.

So Neffi banned all the CCP/Snuff devs from his discord.

Seems legit.

The truth is out there.

Is Neffi going to prison?

No, that’s Adrian Vexier…

Neffi was banned for something else.

Why???

Fortunately, Neffi has contacted a higher power.

NATO forces are on high alert.

Reddits have been reddited…

… and unreddited.

CCP fought the law, and the law won.

Snuffed Out is going to the big house.

Neffi just wants to play EvE Online.

Will Hellmar unban his biggest fan?

This is a paid advertisement…

omg he’s soooo hot

Did Neffi do anything wrong?

Regardless, Neffi will continue trying to login.

As always, Highsec gankers stand with Neffi.

We want him to undock.

Just let him play, and we will take care of him…

Save the whales!

Cheerzah!

To be continued?

*BONUS CONTENT*
***BEHIND THE SCENES LIVEBLOG***

Krig’s Korner, Episode 10

Krig’s Korner, Episode 9

Princess Aiko is the best.

She always blog about ME))))

haha I’m not an NPC l’mao

283 + a blueprint?

…and an Orca… plus a Hulk?

That’s not what I asked for!

Haha, keep blogging space secretary.

Keep going, u dumb b.

There’s more…

I tried Aiko… and she blogged about it.

She loves blogging, especially with me.

Haha, I hope that miner writes her daily.

Aiko wasn’t a lezzi last night))))

I bet she wants to blog me again.

That girl is annoyed, paranoid, and full of void.

Puppers Gets a Gila

Prince Puppers wanted a Gila.

He wasn’t joking.

Puppers wanted to be a Gila main.

Oh boy, a discount Gila!

He sold everything he had…

…to buy a Moa.

Oh, it’s a free Moa…

With premium insurance!

So Puppers went to fetch his new Gila.

GrrrrrrrrrGROONSgaaarRRrr/

Puppers tried to get around the grief blockade.

So he employed null security comms.

This went as well as one might expect.

Puppers even tried a wormhole!

His friends were happy to help.

Meanwhile, Sargon was at the foot dentist.

When Sargon returned, he noticed the problem.

The Goons were using an isk tracker.

So Sargon cleaned Puppers out.

Eventually, Puppers contacted me.

He seemed confused.

The next day, everyone wondered about Puppers.

Apparently, his new home was in Thera?

Who told him to go there?

Eventually, Puppers just bought a Gila.

Another happy ending!

Cheerzah!

Why?

Why were those miners ganked?

Can you guess why?

Oh, that’s why…

I need dekss to drool on.

No miner left behind!

I just want you to understand.

Why did you get gunjked?

Well, because you are a miner.

Nobody likes a dirty shovel.

Every pleb must face the consequence of incompetence.

Meanwhile, we have a gay old time in Why Was I Ganked?

Cheerzah!

Back to Basic

At first, Nabjorn didn’t learn his lesson.

However, he finally understands.

Nabjorn Amatin > I am quiting this game I forgot it was full of assholes congrats though on not being able to make it in the real world
Captain BeerMonster > calm down miner
Nabjorn Amatin > I have quit its ok, the gank just remined me that assholes exsist in this game as they no longer have a refuge anywhere else

Nabjorn is a born quitter.

When will CCP crack down on PvP antics?

Gankas hide behind CONCORD…

So Nabjorn vowed to go full basic.

Nobody should have fun in a video game.

Never go full basic!

Gangers just want dank exhumer scraps.

Nabjorn became a basic civilian.

He wants everyone to know!

Good luck Nabjorn!

Meanwhile, in J-space…

Highsec Recruiting, Part 3

Highsec Recruiting, Part 1

Previously, newbro Mason vowed to destroy me.

This would require preparation.

Mason was excited by the thought of PvP with me.

In EvE Online, PvP is a sign of genuine affection.

Our relationship began to blossom.

However, I don’t like impudence.

Mason is a real miner.

Whereas, I am a perfect tenth-wave feminist!

Like all miners, he is a cyberbully greefer.

Fortunately, Mason began to regret his evil ways.

It was time to turn over a leaf…

My expectations were clear.

I demanded an isk sacrifice, for me.

So Mason sent his life savings.

Now I have Mason right where I want him.

He hates being told what to do…

…but now he has new friends, and a new corporation.

Everyone was impressed!

It was the start of a new era.

Mason is my miner.

I sure hope we get along!

What a good boy.

He deserves me!

Cheerzah!