Kage Rage, Part 3

Previously, on James315. Space… The Secretary General was sorting through the archives, where she discovered that kage1982 was extracting salt from members of the mighty CODE. alliance. How did this happen? Who was kage1982, and how was he so successful?

Much of kage’s salt farming operation was centered upon Ernst Steinitz, and kage relished that he could collect so many tears from Ernst.

kage1982 > greetings code sinners
Ernst Steinitz > Greetings
kage1982 >  calm down miner this is no place for your salty tears

On occasion, kage would put out a bucket and collect the “nosne” and “nonse” of other CODE. agents.

Your Awesum Brutha > Calm down miner
kage1982 > shut up sinner
kage1982 > blah blah blah miner blah blah jame blah blah blah mum wants me to pay rent now
Ernst Steinitz > poor kage
kage1982 > shit your draws then didnt you nonse
Ernst Steinitz > How are we today, kage?
kage1982 > shush nonse the adults are talking
kage1982 > quiet kiddy fiddler go back in your station
Your Awesum Brutha > Miner, you seem confused
kage1982 > you seem like nonse
kage1982 > still going on about that nosne
Your Awesum Brutha > still crying about that nonsense?
kage1982 > hardly crying about you being a nonse

The further one digs into the tale of kage1982, the closer one comes to an epicenter of pure nonse.

When kage wasn’t practicing his spelling, he worked on his numbers…

Ulianov > he did it at least 2 times
Ulianov > he spent hours doing so
Ulianov > started to count to 100
Ulianov > and started again when failing

I was eventually able to pinpoint the precise reason for kage1982’s mental breakdown source of kage1982’s salt extracting superpowers, by tracking him down inside another channel…

Channel Name: English Help
Session started: 2020.05.19

kage1982 > hey folks has the event skill points bug not been fixed yet?
Pedro Caesar > soon lol
kage1982 > soon how soon?
ebies > tomorrow ™
kage1982 > they said that yesterday
ebies > kage1982 but “tomorrow never comes”
kage1982 > aye true ive already lost 2 months of my life to lockdown

Driven mad by plagues, quarantines, prolonged isolation, and incompetent CCP project development, kage doubled down on highsec mining, and took a little trip to Lonetrek. It was not long before he would be returning to the channel, with a slightly different question…

Channel Name: English Help
Session started: 2020.06.23

kage1982 > how do you find out how much kill rights cost?
kage1982 > how do you know how much the prcie of kill rights are?
kage1982 > can anyone answer my question on kill rights

Something terrible must have transpired, between May 19 and June 23, which turned kage1982 into a relentless salt farmer. At one point, all he wanted was free skill points, but now he was wholly obsessed with killrights and the abject humiliation of Ernst Steinitz.

kage1982 > cunts
kage1982 > james 315 is a fat twat’
kage1982 > they are a bunch of c**nts
kage1982 > PEOPLE OF Isanamo THIS IS THE LAW

kage1982 > FREE EVE
kage1982 > CODE COWER IN Isanamo
kage1982 > james 315 is an extortionist skumbag
Ernst Steinitz > Please calm down miner

When kage grew tired of extracting salt from Ernst, he would travel to Jita and spread the Word…

Isaiah Bhaalgorn > HyperNet offer: Gila
MAMKIN PLEXOGOLIK > Предложение гиперсети: Large Skill Injector*
Zoona Proximo > HyperNet offer: Zarmazd
kage1982 > minerbumping <<<<<< join this channel and mock code
Alex ppt > HyperNet offer: Rattlesnake
Ysera Lux > HyperNet offer: Vindicator 20/48
Quick Viva > [Несколько предметов]
kage1982 > hand up if you hate the CODE
Cemile Gultepe > HyperNet offer: Machariel Blueprint
SouthKenny Park > [Multiple Items]
Roman Gustov > HyperNet offer: Naglfar Blueprint (Original) 379/512 NODES REMAIN!
Choomop > HyperNet offer: Revelation
Cracked Actor > HyperNet offer: Anshar / Nidhoggur / Thanatos / Marshal
Sigi Dijkstra > Предложение гиперсети: Praxis*

Naturally, he would extract salt from Erotica 1 alts…

Lily Delta > 5 mil recieved, 10 mil sent back! Check my BIO for more info!
kage1982 > Lily Delta still chattin shit
Judas Orland > [Stolen Corp Loot! Must sell Fast!!! Quick Profit! ONLY 9.5 BILLION ISK]
Lily Delta > 1 bil recieved, 5 bil sent back! Check my BIO for more info!
kage1982 > Lily Delta shut up
Radswanka Lebowski > HyperNet: Marshal / Thanatos
Lily Delta > Want to try the game, but afraid it’s a scam? Check out the screenshot in my BIO!
kage1982 > ^^^BULLSHIT SCAMMER
Astant en Bauldry > »»» HyperNet offer: Pithum A-Type Multispectrum Shield Hardener «««

I was starting to wonder, not that kage seemed upset, but just what might he theoretically be upset about?

IllumuIll Estemaire > kage1982 who ganked your venture?
Koizumi Taira > just go zkillboard… it was far from Venture.
kage1982 > ooohh salt again yay
kage1982 > proper noob tears of salt that cant take what you give out

To be continued…

4 thoughts on “Kage Rage, Part 3”

  1. “> shush nonse the adults are talking”

    Wait, he thinks that the agent is a nonce but also a child? He must be dizzy from salt overload after extracting so much of it.

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