You know, back when I dated James, he caught me hustling Krig. Ok! So things were SUPER awkward. It got even more weird, after I formed the most successful World of Warcraft griefing new player assistance guild. We broke up eventually, but stayed in touch, and James knew exactly whom he wanted to expand his glorious EVE Online empire. There was only one problem. Can I be trusted not to just seduce men, take their stuff, and act really vain and self-centered? I mean, like, yah, of course.
They feel it is morally wrong to shoot their Ventures…
… and they don’t think I’m a very good Princess.
Such individuals often worship false prophets.
There is no James but James, and Aiko is His only begotten Princess.
I’m not roleplaying with you.
I am without a d.
I am just a regular girl…
… who loves to save miners.
We witnessed unto a lost Wayseeker.
The Jamespocalypse has come like a witty thief in the night.
Even the lowliest Venture shalt not escape mine LAW. Verily, and hearken ye forth, for a WRATHFUL princess be most filled with INDIGNATION and is come to FREE the bears and fulfill HIS glorious PROMISE.
Previously in James 315 Space…suki storm lost a Mackinaw. In order to get a new Mackinaw, he paid 100 million isk to Princess Aiko. Rewind. Before paying 100 million, he paid another 100 million.
Aiko Danuja > hello miner Kalorned > Hi! suki storm > i’am not miner do’nt take the risk No Bodiei > Aiko is drunk Aiko Danuja > Suki, pay me 100 million isk or I will gank you again suki storm > it was my first dit to minning since a moment i can do some mistake no ? Aiko Danuja > I will destroy another miner ship, unless you pay me 100,000,000. suki storm > i have no isk by you fault
He claimed to have no money, but miners are liars.
Aiko Danuja > Once you send the isk, I will send you a receipt as confirmation of payment. If you do not pay, I will not allow you to mine. suki storm > i hav” just 4million in my account
Aiko Danuja > Good, now find another 96 million. Buttercup Potemkin > hurry up miner suki storm > if you continue to speak as this i go to be rebel suki storm > you think you can destroy a kronos in few second ? Aiko Danuja > i can kill a kronos easy suki storm > with what you kill a kronos XD suki storm > yeah it’s really my problem
He still needed to pay 100 million isk.
That’s 100 million, not 4 plus 96. He also needed to pay 30 million isk for shipping. Er, um, 40 million. No, I didn’t mean 30 million plus 10 million = 40 million. I meant 30 + 40 = 70 million. Hurry up, miner!
suki storm > your number is your power that’s all Netheril X > Did I make you cum when you blew up my ship? suki storm > i want just play i, peace Elise Shomitzsu > No wonder no one likes this shit game. No Bodiei > suki storm u have to pay for pillow talk Aiko Danuja > Elise is just grumpy, because her mackinaw exploded.
So suki paid, and paid, and paid again (and again).
No Bodiei > you won’t see anything like this anywhere else in eve. It;s like one of the great wonders of eve that should be seen on a grand tour
He also needed to tip the delivery driver.
It is customary to also tip the other driver.
The standard tip is 30 million. I mispoke, 40 million. That’s 70 million! Or 80?
If there is a third driver, you must tip again. Always! The fee is just 30 millon. I mean, 40 million, 70 million!
This is the art of the deal.
Shipping is free, but you have to pay the Uedama toll (again)!
It’s just 30 million. I mean, you owe 40. So 70, right?
Don’t forget about the other delivery driver!
Fortuna Avarice Cash > ruthless Blackcobra14 > i wish i could be drunk, this would be more fun Valiran Teleros > It’s a bad habit. Don’t do it. Talivaldis > what a wonderous and joyful thing to behold the princess Purgo > Amazing Aiko
Oh James, I love you so much. All those years I worked as your personal secretary, skittering between office and armory, steering a wide berth around the rowdy barracks, and barely finding time to grab a cucumber from the mess. I didn’t do it for the money, or the fame, but just for you, my Saviour. Those bitter jellybears said I was sleeping my way to the top, but you know how chaste I am. All I wanted was to do my duty, unto my Lord. Even a Princess must serve the New Order, to the best of her ability, such is the law!
I always, always, knew I was destined to inherit Amarr, along with the Minmatar and Ammatar vassaldoms, plus the entirety of the Khanid March, with the Bleak and the Delvian slums, and all those lonely stars which have no name. I was content with that, so when you asked me to be your little Princess, I really had no desire to remain far from home. However, I kind of like being the one true Saviourette of the Order. Of course, the Great Khan Garkeh was delighted to learn his daughter has inherited the Caldari State, the Gallente Federation, and the endless Northern Waste.
It’s been so long since I’ve been able to go home, to Agil III. I miss the sight of a magnetostorm, as it ripples through the methane clouds. I yearn for my hundred ton robotank, with those beautiful particle projection cannons. I want to bring hot cranberry vodka for the infantry, and help them cook Mindflood in the ruins of some old shrine. Living amongst the greedy northern barbarians has really been quite a culture shock, but I confess, you saved me from a dismal fate. Without you, I would have wound up commanding some garrison on the Kamela front, where I might have died of boredom.
Killing people, just to drink their brain goo, that’s normal for us southern girls. They call us blood raiders, but let’s be real, I’m just a simple space vampire. As you might imagine, the Caldari cult of Halaima was utterly alien to me. Bumping people for money? What?! Why don’t we just kill them all? If they pay enough, we can crucify them on a cross of gold! My father despised Gallente terrorists, but you had the divine wisdom to turn Catalysts and Talosi into the very building blocks of our mighty civilization. I don’t know how you did it, but you did, and this is why I praise your name every 15 minutes of each particular day — as required by the sacred laws of the Halama.
Recently, I was super annoyed. This catty miner had the nerve to say I should be killing more miners! Oh really?! I told my friends about this, and we all had a good laugh. Then Zigam and Julian made a little video, which definitely cheered me up. Julian even has his own Youtube channel, and I can tell he doesn’t like carebear plebs!
Anyways, ever since you died, I’ve been praying for a miracle. I’m sure you will undock another Ishtar. Right? We can hunt Orcas together, like old times, and maybe even save the Delve (again)! However, I don’t suppose that’s likely to happen. So I’ll keep trying to kill these miners, as best I can, and hope to see you soon.
She could never know what it’s like My blood, like winter, freezes just like ice And there’s a cold, lonely light that shines from me And did you think this girl could never win? Well look at me, I’m a-coming back again
Once I never coulda hoped to win You started down the road, leaving me here The threats she made were meant to cut me down And if our love was just a circus, you’d be a clown by now You know I’m still standing better than I ever did
So don’t just fade away
Don’t you know I’m still standing better than I ever did?
Looking like a true survivor, feeling like a true princess And I’m still standing after all this time I’m still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’m still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’m still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’m still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’m still standing (yeah, yeah, yeah) I’m still standing
Praise James, forever and ever, and pray he will grant upon us his divine blessing, so that we might obliterate our enemies with an endless barrage from which they shalt know our mercy! We must destroy their fleets, and then Khanid will show them the glorious strength of our Army!
