Why Mine?

A lot of One people felt I was hard on Andres.

Andres enjoys a relaxing mine.

That sounds like fun, right?

Why else would anyone mine?

Amazing content, in real-life and in EvE Online.

Andres, you have to choose, me or the ice.

It’s an addiction.

There’s only one solution.

Friends don’t let friends mine.

There’s much better content.

That’s why they call me Aiko.

It’s like a reverse Awox.

Yo, she cried less than Andres!

Internal Affairs Debrief – Bonus Extra Room 17T

I was cleared of all charges.

Mining Andres

Listening to: Minimal Techno Classic 3

That’s a lie.

Andres M Afanador is a Highsec miner.

Like most miners, he just doesn’t get it.

Andres, we are not into mining.

Recently, Andres began mining for BLACKFLAG.

Apparently, they’ve fallen on hard times.

Andres, you need a mining permit!

So then the ganks began…

A gentle reminder to stop mining.

He actually thought BLACKFLAG would protect him?

Breaking News: Andres M Afanador caught mining in Highsec.

Our leadership has a consensus.

We all wanted a solution, including Tweeps (aka James 315).

Meanwhile, Andres was (not) salty.

Andres isn’t in my alliance, and he is mining. Is that loyalty?

Andres, I find your loyalty insufficient.

The diplomatic situation was deteriorating.

Fortunately, my friends are not stupid.

Andres the antiganker failed again.

Nobody likes an antiganker.

This is how things work in Highsec.

Stop mining.

Pay your taxes.

Obey the CODE. Safety agents.

Seek help.

Never go full miner.

Those minerals I mine are freeREEE!

Andres had a little too much ice.

I hope he calms down.

That might be difficult.

Bee well!

Death of an antiganker, Part 2

Listening to: Haunt

Yesterday, we announced the death of Bloody Bear.

Today, he came to grips with reality.

He will never defeat me.

So he sent a video instead.

Army roleplay makes miners feel big.

He also linked another cringe video.

Five years ago, he supposedly defeated Zaenis Desef.

Is he actually a threat to anyone?

He added some bluster…

…and concluded with a message to gankers.

The videos made him feel like a man again.

What a silly bear!

I’ll haunt your nightmares
Little did you know that I like fear
When you jump, I’ll be right there
You should be afraid, you should be scared

Out of the darkness, out of the fear
It’s too late, I’m here now
I hope that you’re prepared, ’cause there’s no getting out


Don’t cross me or you’ll learn quick
The hard way that I’m not one to mess with
I got a mind full of mean tricks

You’re all alone, you’re on your own
It’s you and me, who’s going home?
Welcome to an in-game nightmare


A succubus preys on the weak
You better watch out for me
Mistakes were made, you will see
You should’ve never crossed me
Revenge is my calling

Highsec Griefing

I try to follow the rules.

However, some people don’t play by the rules.

There are soo many griefers in EvE Online!

I call it Griefers Online.

Jason Longshot tried to stop me from playing.

OmG!

This is extortion and racketeering!

Judgment was at hand…

Why?

I needed to make money, fast!

Alas, the miners began running a train on me…

WtF!

I was banned from the outer spaces…

…as grief miners took pleasure in my emotional distress.

*BONUS CONTENT*
=BEHIND THE SCENES=

Shory wanted to bully me, away from others.

So he began dimming the gaslight.

Then he began exaggerating.

Next, came the victim blaming.

Finally, the delusions of grandeur.

Stupid miners! 🙂

Hmph!

I have 93 active killrights(((((

\\\EPILOGUE///

Tale of the Tombkeeper

Listening to: Dance the Night

Why??? How did the mighty CODE. alliance became a mere tomb for dead alts, cobwebs, and dusty bios?

What happened?

Super Pleb was there.

As director of NOL, he was universally despised.

Super opened the doors wide, but nobody joined.

The comments at Minerbumping are self-explanatory.

Super was always a disgrace.

So, on June 24, James 315 finally did it.

However, Super didn’t get the memo.

One day, a ghost came to visit.

Before James, John was executor of the alliance. Upon his return, he was not pleased by CODE. civil war.

As moderator of the minerbumping channel, Super was gleefully banning Aiko, and anyone who supported her.

With James gone, forever, even Super lamented the fact that nobody could do anything about Super.

The rest of the alliance was annoyed.

We wondered if Super was quite sane.

Naturally, John urged Super to calm down.

Super wanted the CODE. to be a tomb. However, corporation Big Willies PvP Madness wanted the alliance to be, well, an alliance that does something more than orbit a dead star.

With two active members in NOL, Super was threatened by the success of other ganking corps. He blamed James for this.

James had wisely allowed everyone to join another corporation, negating Super’s status as “cat’s meow” of NOL. Consequently, when Super banned people from Minerbumping, they could just join a different channel, or even a different alliance.

Which is exactly what happened.

Super embraced a helpless doom and gloom philosophy of inevitable stagnation and decay. Without James, gankers wanted new leadership, and the wound was deep. Super tried to stop the bleeding, but he only made things worse by draining blood from a desiccated corpse. Meanwhile, with every ban, Aiko grew stronger.

When he was done, there would be nobody left.

A dead alliance was better than one with Aiko.

Super repeated his mantra.

That felt good.

Super kissed the feet of his dead god.

This is the ‘leadership’ he provided.

Super wanted John to understand.

Super couldn’t accept reality, or Aiko. Clinically, he struggled to adjust his behaviour to suit various social contexts, and failed to engage in imaginative play with friends, continually falling back upon restricted repetitive patterns. Meanwhile, the death of James left a void, which would inevitably be filled.

Of course, everyone was concerned about the mails.

John encouraged Super to gank more.

Super didn’t want gankers in the ganking alliance.

A ganking alliance can’t survive without gankers!

Roleplayers aren’t real leaders.

Super was an idiot.

Without James, he had no hope for the future.

Would you join Pharaoah, in his tomb?

Super couldn’t wait!

What a goofus.

What a pleb!

For real.

Cheerzah!

That’s right!

lol

What would James say?

=BONUS ART=

Aiko and Super, by Alt 00

Baby, you can find me in Highsec
Diamonds under my eyes
Turn the rhythm up, don’t you wanna just
Come along for the ride?

Oh, my outfit so tight
You can see my heartbeat tonight
I can take the heat, baby, best believe
That’s the moment I shine

Don’t give a damn
When the night’s here, I do tears
Baby, you got no chance
When your heart breaks
I could dance, watch me dance
I’ll still keep the party runnin’, not one hair out of place

Lately, I’ve been moving close to the edge
Still be lookin’ my best
When the galaxy shakes
I stay on the beat, you can count on me
I ain’t missin’ no steps

I don’t play it safe (ooh)
Don’t you know about me? (Uh-huh)
Even when your tears are flowin’ like diamonds
I’ll still keep the party goin

#FREE NEFFI

Listening to: Democracy Manifest

Well, hello there.

One day, the ban hammer slipped.

Neffi Cake (aka Luci Gotti) got banned, permanently, maybe.

Investigative Princess Aiko investigates…

Meanwhile, ISD Redacted was summoned to space court.

Likewise, Redline doesn’t care.

The other miners accuse CCP of international crimes.

Damning chatlogs prove CCP devs are Snuffed Out alts.

Of course, they deny everything.

So Neffi banned all the CCP/Snuff devs from his discord.

Seems legit.

The truth is out there.

Is Neffi going to prison?

No, that’s Adrian Vexier…

Neffi was banned for something else.

Why???

Fortunately, Neffi has contacted a higher power.

NATO forces are on high alert.

Reddits have been reddited…

… and unreddited.

CCP fought the law, and the law won.

Snuffed Out is going to the big house.

Neffi just wants to play EvE Online.

Will Hellmar unban his biggest fan?

This is a paid advertisement…

omg he’s soooo hot

Did Neffi do anything wrong?

Regardless, Neffi will continue trying to login.

As always, Highsec gankers stand with Neffi.

We want him to undock.

Just let him play, and we will take care of him…

Save the whales!

Cheerzah!

To be continued?

*BONUS CONTENT*
***BEHIND THE SCENES LIVEBLOG***

Woe to 1DQ

Well, hello there!

All gunkers are groons. Garrrrar etc.

We lost everything in Delve, so now we hide in Highsec.

Lin Sa La had a cunning plan.

Could she spam the gunks away?

Like all miners, she needs guidance.

These are actual screenshots from EvE Online!

The temper tantrum gradually subsided.

James 315 would have loved this miner.

I’m just a despotic totalitarian tyrant.

Across the galaxy, miners yearn for the return of their Saviour.

Will he ever keep them safe?

Doubt.

Oh well…

Cheerzah bravs!

The Greatest Groon

Today, and for all time, I am the Greatest Groon.

As the final boss of Highsec, I have always known my fate.

I am destined for success.

Let’s stroll through memory lane…

… remembering my predecessors.

Tenaj (March 2003-June 2003)

L0rd Zap (June 2003-March 2006)

Princess Suicide (March 2006 – July 2006)

The Sheik (July 2006 – March 2007)

karttoon was right (March 2007 – October 2008)

Jerry Rin (October 2008 – October 2009)

Princess Helicity (October 2009 – October 2011)

The Mittani (October 2011 – December 2012)

kalila meng (December 2012 – January 2013)

Khoda Khan (January 2013 – March 2013)

BLACK SKULL (March 2014 – October 2014)

Aria Stane (October 2014 – November 2014)

Zuzu (November 2014 – December 2014)

George (December 2014 – May 2015)

loyal (May 2015 – March 2016)

Siegfriend Cohenberg (March 2016 – April 2016)

Do you remember the mad minute?

Tweeps (April 19, 2016)

Kulorndo (April 19, 2016 – April 22, 2016)

Kalned givieth…

James 315 (April 2016 – June 2020)

….Korndul taketh.

Dresden Rubble Gnome (June 2020 – July 2020)

Princess Aiko (July 2020 – forever and ever)

Congrats to every participant! Each of you will receive a trophy, commemorating your activity (or lack thereof). The following chart shows each winner’s relative significance.

BEE WELL!

Here are some lesser alliances…

Is your alliance trash?