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Trigger Warning

Hallo!

Commander ZVON, in an EvE Online space adventure.

Where did ZVON’s battleship go?

Where do you think the ship is?
Scroll down to find out…
No peeking!
Do you think you know?
Are you ready?
Did you guess correctly?

In EvE Online, the magic is real.

ZVON begged for his lastest battleship…

All monay loost.

It was a cruel dark galaxy

ZVON contacted his only friend.

ZVON did not feel well.

Hard times in outer space.

Fortunately, mercy comes to those who beg.

ZVON needed a ship.

A fair price.

Krig sent the wrong ship!

What a day.

Mister McGibblets Cries More

Previously, Mister McGibblets died…

Woah, I don’t want to talk to a toxic miner…

However, he said something objectionable…

….autopilot???

I wanted him to stay safe.

Oh good, he isn’t mad!

Uh…

So his dogs are better at EvE than he is?

It’s the “woe is me, my kid is sick” scam.

After the trauma dump, I wanted a refund.

It’s that easy!

Even the dumbest miner can figure it out…

This is why antigankers will never win!

What do you think?

Will McGibblets get his Orca back?

Do I look like a girl who lies through a smile?

I’ve never seen a more honest face!

D00MSTORM

The elite D00MGUARD summoned a storm.

This was expensive.

At first, there was some confusion.

Eventually, the terms were clarified.

We appreciate our patrons.

Tale of Woe

Kalique Lennelluc began crying.

Where did his spaceship go?

Remember: real life friends don’t steal your toys!

With no friends, Kalique lamented in game.

Krig Povelli urged the miner to get a life.

Kalique had more to say.

In fact, he had life lessons to teach.

One parable was particularly poignant.

Sad!

BONUS CONTENT

Krig’s mom doesn’t like whiny babies.

Easy SRP

Amelia Oriki had a special request.

Sargon of Amerish was ready to help.

In EvE Online, it’s easy to get back on your feet.

Thanks to Princess Aiko, mining permits are always affordable.

Another satisfied customer!

Smiley face 🙂

Amelia knows that mining permits are a great deal.

She just had one final question.

No miner left behind!

Digger D

NSA 3 likes diggers.

Unfortunately, I’m not his type.

However, I have something he wants.

We started a little business.

It began well enough.

Things eventually got better.

Another satisfied customer!

I’m a professional…

xaxa)

Thanks for the business!

Making Bank

How can YOU donate to the New Order?

Everyone has their own way.

You can also send isk directly.

Support your gankers today!

xaxaxa)))

The Conference Elite

Guest Author
Tweeps (aka John E Normus)

Hello there.

I didn’t see you come in.

As you can see, the CODE. alliance was never more than a facade, built upon the mighty Conference Elite. A galactic alliance is nothing without TCE, and that’s an undeniable fact.

As the heiress of both James 315 and loyalanon, I now command the ship of state. Of course, wannabe orbiter plebs insist I never received a sacrosanct blessing, as if I need one.

Seems legit?

If James did not choose me – who did? It is one thing to be annointed, but if I crowned myself, then I am even more powerful. If James were invincible, I must be omnipotent!

After seizing command of TCE, I have delegated authority to my trusty lesbian sidekick, Alleil Pollard. Henceforth, as acting executor, Alleil will oversee the Byzantine bureaucracy.