Fan Fest, Part 2

Previously, in Iceland, CCP faced tough questions.

One thing became clear, it is time for an Aiko statue.

This is an undeniable reality.

It’s what the galaxy needs.

Meanwhile, CCP Rattati defined “new player”.

Carebears believe in a regional skill gradient (from Highsec to nullsec). However, as Rattati stated, “You are not a new player, [just because you are] in Highsec.” According to CCP, players cease to be ‘new’ when they reach 30 days, or leave the New Player Experience. Highsec is not the tutorial, and it is not “griefing” to engage Naval Academy graduates.

Rattati noted that CCP wasted “considerable time and resources” investigating carebear allegations. While griefers do disrupt the tutorial, gankers don’t. CCP determined that gankers and griefers are two separate groups, and ganking is explicitly allowed. Isanamo is not a mining tutorial, nor is Uedama a hauling tutorial. These are elite PvP zones, and Rattati emphasized that ganking is “fair” gameplay.

COOL FACT: When we changed our alliance name, we ensured that autist crybots would get confused. If you still think James 315 is griefing miners, then you obviously aren’t paying attention. Fortunately, CCP is not siding with antigankers, and Rattati concluded (to thunderous applause), “Gankers, you’re SAFE.”

If antigankers care about noobs, why are they defending nullsec alts?

Z Nation

Previously, in the best EvE Online blog…

pravednik III paid 300 million isk to keep zvezda solnze safe.

I found this offer enticing and intriguing.

When I discovered zvezda mining, all alone, in a highly dangerous security system – I knew what to do. I gave her a gentle nudge, encouraging her to find a safer space to AFK bot farm. Safety first, always!

Wait, what?

Uh oh…

Here comes the Z!

xaxa western monkeys)))

Dest Royer got Destroyed

Every miner has a background story.

Dest Royer came from a rough neighborhood.

He needed to express his feelings.

Sometimes, therapists need therapy.

With a name like Dest Royer…

…you know he is a mining machine.

Why else would loosers bully him?

The conversation became increasingly academic.

Finally, James Aiko asked the BIG question.

Dest is one mad therapist.

He is a trained psychoassassin.

Dest Royer took careful notes.

It was a revealing conversation.

Winning

I’m the best.

Sexist antigankers will never catch me.

They are too busy mansplaining EvE Online.

EvE doesn’t need autistic high-functioning losers lossers.

I’m the witch your mother warned you about.

You might think otherwise.

I don’t care.

I won’t even remember you.

Have fun watching me fuck miners.

You love it.

Cheers!

Glory to Ichinumi! GLORY TO AIKO!

My goodness, I’m busy.

You might yearn for the old days, when loyalanon dunked freighters in Uedama, and Super Perforator roleplayed at Ventures in Poinen. However, the new normal is that 41% of all ganking is Aiko. This is my time, my era. This is the future, and the ganking community is better than ever. Ganking is strong, because I am strong, and I am great, and I am a beautiful Princess in real-life, chaste and pure. Sometimes, I regret that I didn’t call the alliance AIKO, with AIKO as the ticker — but I’m not a narcissist.

Previously, we learned of Auviken, the first system to report more Safety ganks than CODE ganks. We then celebrated Unpas, the first system to endorse Safety as the #1 alltime alliance. Afterward, we heard of Waira, the first system to elect Aiko Danuja as the #1 alltime PvP champion. I am now pleased to present, the first system to simultaneously have Aiko listed as the top pilot of alltime, and Safety as the top alliance. Truly, we are well into a new era, and whilst Halaima might always be a spiritual Mecca, Ichinumi will be forever known as the site of Aiko’s impenetrable inner chamber.

Behold, Ichinumi, bastion of Aikodom. The miners of Ichinumi will always live with dread and fear in their pathetic hearts, for their system is 100% dangerous, and that is no place for a mining simp. If James 315 were alive today, he would give me a hug, and whisper in my ear to tell me how proud he is. We would hold hands, and laugh about all the losers, who failed to be here today. Good job Aiko! Thanks James!

The Battle of Torrinos

When I’m not blogging, I sometimes undock.

I recently discovered a vast empire.

In distant Torrinos, the miners are always AFK.

However, they remember my previous visits.

I often cower in a nearby station.

So they sent their best man, HogTits, to camp me down.

He taunted me.

He brought an entire hit squad.

I was in serious trouble.

The miners knew who I was, and they weren’t scared.

I was trapped, and couldn’t escape.

The miners were mocking me.

They even summoned the antiganking main of antiganking loser Everess 88.

That’s the retard goofus who thinks the actual IRL year is 1984. Like wtf.

This was getting serious.

It all happened so fast.

Fortunately, Krig Povelli taught me a magic trick.

Australian Jesus came to my rescue, straight out of Halaima.

Everybody was amazed.

They never anticipated my counterattack.

It was clear who won the battle of Torrinos.

The wouldbe antigankers began to reconsider their choices.

Everess 88’s antiganking main was losing their respect.

The battle was over, and birds began to chirp.

Everybody reflected on the experience.

One thing was crystal clear.

I have a Highsec PvP alt.

We’re Baaaaaaaaaaaack

Welcome to Uedama.

I’ve been playing EvE Online.

Something is happening in Uedama.

What is going on?

It’s a party, in outer space.

It’s magical.

Uedama is a SAFE space.

Of course, some people are on the wrong side of history.

Antigankers thought they were winning.

However, the numbers don’t lie.

We are just getting started.

It’s only going to get better.

We are going to expand.

Happy Miners

Once upon a time, I did kills of the week, but I’m just too busy. However, I’m sure the following would qualify on just about any week.

WooF! Now that’s the kind of kill which excites the ladies, and gets an entire stadium cheering your name. Congrats to Votre Dieu, an absolute consummate professional, and an inspiration to law enforcement officers across Highsec. You know, this is quite a bit more significant than it initially appears, as many of the items are undervalued purple mods and unvalued abyssal mods. WoW. Antiganking really failed again.

*WE NOW RETURN TO OUR REGULAR PROGRAMMING*

Miners have a lot of questions.

If only niki lasvegas had a permit…

Meanwhile, VeX1 has been vexed by his own difficulties.

Fortunately, mining therapist zxcxzx got him to talk.

VeX was intrigued by the offer of assistance.

VeX liked z.

However, would VeX trust Gallente Citizen?

VeX was pleased to learn permits are currently on sale.

He caught a lucky break, and got his permit at a 2012 price.

Now that’s a great deal!

Get your mining permit today!

Aiko Monument

Vinnegar Douche spotted an antiganker, in a hole.

It was crime fighting time!

Check out this video of a real life antiganker!

Anyways, I’ve been wondering….

Would Vinnegar support my proposal?

We need Aiko monuments, in game and in reality!

I was pleased to learn that Vinnegar is a man of reason and culture.

Everyone agrees, it’s time for our first Aiko monument.

So many great ideas!

I want to thank everybody who has supported me, and my alliance.

As always, I have to acknowledge James 315.

I wouldn’t even be here without him.

Honestly, this was all his idea.

Everything is proceeding according to plan.

That’s right.

Cheers!

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #238

Highsec Miner Grab Bag #237

Well, let’s see what the miners have to say.

Princess Aiko Hold My Hand is a great corporation for newbro miners!

Kimberly Duskwolf declared an end to ganking in Oiniken.

This lasted nearly two minutes.

Oh man, more Ward nonsense?

Woah, I never even knew this email existed.

Ahahaha, op success! Victory!

Even antigankers are impressed by my leadership.

Every sane rational person loves me.

Haha, not today miner!

Yes, I’m a lesbian, and I’m gonna kill you.

If you want to gank, you should probably shoot a Venture…

Newbro starter tornadoes are 30 million isk each!

I just want to make a positive difference in EvE Online.

I love my friends.

Ok, gotta go!

Haha, you guys….

It’s just a joke, right?